He could practically feel the man smirking at him through the cloud of shouts coming from the window.

"Hey! Open the door!"

"This is what you've dreamed about since you were little! Your future and life depends on this, Sandara! You can't give it up now."

Can't… give it up now?

The man chuckled darkly, looking down at the signed contract in his hand. "Forget it, San-da-ra."He stretched out every syllable of the name. "You're not good enough for us."

Souichi's heart started to race. Shit, he blew it. He blew his sister's chances of being happy with her career. What was he supposed to do now?

Sing… they wanted him to sing… but he couldn't sing.

Could he?

The man held up the contract in front of him, fingers stretched across it, as he began to rip the stack of papers in half. Panicking, Souichi did the first thing that he could think of.

Panis angelicus, fit panis hominum

Dat panis coelicus, figuris terminum

Something must've happened, because every single person got quiet. The shouts from the window stopped, and the other two men who tried to coax him into singing were both looking at him with shocked expressions. He tried to imagine himself in Mika's bedroom, singing her gently to sleep.

O res mirabilis, Manducat Dominum

Pauper, pauper, servus et humilis

He could barely register the man lowering the contract and staring at him; it wasn't like he wanted to register it, anyway.

Pauper, pauper, servus et humilis

He wanted to die. He wanted to burrow away and die. He felt so humiliated; he'd been made fun of, dressed up like a skank, thrown into a room full of straight men that couldn't keep their eyes off of him, and he was forced to sing, something he couldn't do.

But they didn't seem bothered by it. In fact, it was the complete opposite. The man in black looked like he was trying hard not to show how astonished he was. The brunette was smiling and the blonde looked surprised out of his skin. Was Souichi really that good?

"Sandara…" Isogai said softly.

"Hey! Hurry and open the door!" President Ito banged on the window again.

Looking defeated, Tetsuhiro turned and stormed away towards the door, opening it and thrusting the contract into President Ito's chest before walking down the hall. Isogai came rushing into the room, hands immediately going to Souichi's shoulders. This time, Souichi didn't shove him off. He was too shaken up about what just happened.

"Are you alright?" Isogai bent his head to look at Souichi's face, who looked like he was about to cry or scream. Souichi nodded reluctantly, keeping his head down so he wouldn't have to look at anybody's face.

"Whoa… you really have a great voice!" The blonde came up to Souichi, making him step back. "It gave me goosebumps! You have to show me how you sing like that!"

"W-wan… to… go…"

"Huh?" The blonde looked up at Isogai, who just waved his hand to signal for him to leave.

"I know. I know. Come on." Isogai rubbed the top of Souichi's back, looking at the two members. "Thank you two for being so supportive. She's just very nervous and isn't good around strangers is all."

"No problem. We don't want to frighten her accidentally." The blonde held up his hand. The brunette nodded in agreement. "Hey, don't be scared by us! I know Tetsuhiro seems scary, but… it looks like he has really accepted you. So, we're all one team now." He called out to Souichi, making the man turn and look back at him; "I look forward to working with you, Sandara." was the last thing he said before walking out of the band room with the brunette.

Souichi gulped and nodded, signaling that he understood what the man had said. He waited until they were all out of the room before rushing to the door and nearly collapsing.

"Are you alright, Souichi-kun?"

"Want… t-to… leave… now…"

"Alright, we will. Come on, stand up. We'll get you back in your own clothes, and I'll buy you some coffee to calm down."

Souichi practically ran back to the van, wanting to get out of those clothes as quickly as possible. He didn't care that he tripped in the shoes, and he didn't care that Isogai was shouting behind him to slow down and stop running. He wanted to go as far away as possible and as fast as his legs could go. Opening the back of the van, he climbed inside and shut the door, instantly shedding his clothes. The shorts were way too tight, and although they hid his unmentionables fairly well, they hurt his hips and gave him marks on his lower abdomen. The shoes made his heels sore as anything, and his toes had blisters on them. The bandana felt tight on his head and gave him a migraine. The things he did for his family.

Once back in his cardigan and pants and socks, he opened the door back up and climbed out, letting Isogai catch up to him. He stretched, glad to be covered again.

"Are you alright now, Souichi-kun?" Isogai asked innocently. "I brought you some iced coffee."

"Thank you." Souichi sat down on the bumper of the van and took the coffee, drinking a little bit and wincing.

"Bitter? Eh… you'll get used to it."

"I like it."

"How are you feeling?"

"My body hurts and my nerves still won't calm down. I didn't know what the fuck to do, because of you! Thank god it's over. Where's my money, by the way?"

"Ah, right." Isogai reached into his pants pocket and pulled out his checkbook and a pen, scribbling something down on one of the sheets and handing it to Souichi. "All you have to do is take it to the bank and have it cashed. Tell them it's under my name, and if they won't let you, have them call my phone number. I wrote it on the back."

"…Thank you." Souichi took the check and folded it up, slipping it into his cardigan pocket.

"Maa, I was really impressed back there." Isogai sat down next to him. "Not only are your faces alike, but your voices are, too~!"

"Yeah, well, I'm no singer." Souichi muttered and took another sip.

"You did really well. I'm sure Kanako-chan would be extremely grateful to have such an amazing brother."

"I want to go back to the chapel and pray. Then I want to take a nap."

"Alright, alright." Isogai rubbed his nape when his phone started to ring. Taking it out of his pocket, he held it up to his ear and signaled to Souichi to give him a minute. "Yes? …How is she? …Oh …She did? Yes, the contract is all signed, I had her brother fill in for her." He was avoiding Souichi's curious and skeptical glances. "…She what? Oh dear God… how could you let this happen? I left you in charge of her while I was in Japan! Great… how long will it take? …That's a long time… nothing to be done about it, sir. Yep. I'll take care of it." And with that, he hung up, sighed, and wiped his face with his hand.

"What's wrong?" Souichi looked at him and furrowed his eyebrows. "Did something happen to Kanako?"

"Ah…" Isogai tried to stretch the conversation and avoid the question. Of course, he should've expected Souichi's wrenching concern to grow.

"What. Happened. To. Kanako?"

"Aha, Souichi-kun… ah…"

Souichi rolled his eyes. "Well, if you won't tell me, then I'll ask Kanako myself. I'll go cash the check and buy myself a plane ticket to go visit her and Tomoe, make sure they're okay."

"Wh… what?" Isogai looked at him with surprised eyes. "P-plane?"

"Yeah. I don't want to stay here my entire life."

"Y-you can't do that! Y-you can't…!"

Souichi stood up, cocking his head. "Why not?"

Isogai sighed and buried his face in his palms. "Why is my job so stressful…"

"What are you talking about, you bipolar freak?"

Isogai looked up at him. "You can't leave."

"Why?"

"I… I need you to stay here… as Kanako."

"No fucking way." His answer was firm and short.

"Please, Souichi-kun!"

"Why do I have to do that?!" Souichi raised his voice. "I did everything you asked of me for my sister and you wanna put me through more?! Why? Tell me, because I'd love to fucking hear it!"

"Because Kanako needs to have surgery!"

He didn't remember what happened first, smashing the plastic cup of coffee on the ground or his fist colliding with Isogai's cheek.

"What the fuck did you do to her, you bastard?!"

"N-nothing, Souichi-kun! I did nothing!"

"Then why the fuck does my little sister need surgery then?! Huh?!"

Isogai sighed. "Please, calm down and I will tell you."

"How about you tell me and I don't calm down?" Souichi crossed his arms. Isogai rubbed his face.

"It's the nodules on her vocal cords. I told her to lay off of the singing, I told her to take it easy, but she didn't listen to me, and now they've swollen so much that she needs surgery to remove them. It's an easy surgery, I assure you! But… she won't be able to join the band until she's completely recovered. She needs to spend two weeks in the hospital while they keep an eye on her condition and will then need two months of rehabilitation to make sure she's back to where she was vocally. Please, Souichi. I need you to do this for her. You know how much this opportunity means to her if she came to you asking you to play as her!"

"I refuse."

"What can I do to make you agree?"

"You can't, my answer is final. No." Souichi stood and walked over to the passenger side of the car. "Don't ask me again."

"How much do I need to pay you?" Isogai came rushing over to stop him from getting in the car. "I will pay you nearly all I have!"

"Che, trying to bribe me? That only worked when it was temporary! But now you… you… want me to gallivant around with these men?! Like some… some prostitute from a brothel?!"

"Souichi, please don't say it that way."

"I thought you were crazy at first, but now you're just twisted. Get out of my sight!" Walking away from the car, he turned and walked down the sidewalk the opposite way.

"Where are you going?"

"To the orphanage."

"Come on Souichi, think about this!"

"I won't!" He whipped around, pulling the knife out of the waist of his pants and flipping it open. "Get. Away. From. Me. I don't want to have anything to do with your sick, twisted ideas! I hate men, I hate them! And what, now you wanna see me exposed as a female? Pervert! And don't think that means that you can tamper around with Kanako!"

"Souichi, please, we can talk this out. All you would need to do is live in the dorms with them and go to the scheduled events like Kanako would until she recovers-"

"No! I don't want to!"

Isogai sighed, obviously not getting anywhere. "Fine." And with that, he got into the van and drove off, leaving Souichi standing on the sidewalk.

Souichi let out something similar to a laugh mixed with a scoff, completely taken aback that now he had no way of getting home. Walking was a bit far, although it would help him stay in shape. Shrugging his shoulders, he decided to walk the three and a half miles to the orphanage.

Who did this man think he was? Walking up to Souichi, tricking him into dressing like a female, then asks him to stay that way? He was obviously a pervert who was just trying to get his fix by staring at Souichi's exposed body. He felt self conscious. Was he really that attractive? No, that was just the disguise working its magic. He was only pretty because he was dressed like a female.

It didn't stop bothering him though. He hoped he would be able to sleep without it keeping him awake, but something in the back of his head doubted it. Why was he even in this situation? Men his age didn't have to go through anything like this.

What was he supposed to do?

Praying at the chapel didn't help much. He had blessed himself at least five times in the past hour, but he still felt dirty. He felt guilty, like he had just murdered a child and left it on the street to rot. Something was wrong, but he didn't know what. Was he feeling bad about earlier when he left Isogai with no options about what to do with his ill sister? No, it was probably just indigestion.

But the more he thought about Kanako and her surgery, the worse he felt. He wanted her to be safe and happy. He signed the contract for her, shouldn't that be enough? No… he knew he would have to live his live pretending to be her if he wanted her to achieve her dreams. She couldn't sing with a completely cut up throat, it was physically impossible. He felt horrible; he had given up helping her just like that.

But who would actually agree to something like that? Changing their entire gender? That was ridiculous! And what if somebody found out and told everybody? His sister's career would be over. There was no getting out of this. If he agreed, she would get hurt. If he refused, she would get hurt. This was a horrible situation with no resulting good whatsoever. He didn't know what to do.

It was late by the time he decided to leave the chapel, and by the time he had crossed the street and pushed open the doors of the orphanage, every child was already in bed. The Misses were cleaning up the kitchen when he toed off his slippers.

"Oh, Souichi-kun, is that you?" Miss Rina came into the foyer from the kitchen. "You were gone all day, we were worried about you! The kids missed you; they wanted you to tutor them today."

"I'm very sorry, Miss Rina." He bowed. "I had to take care of something. I'll make it up to all of you, I promise."

"Hm, you'd better make it up, Souichi-kun. You're our favorite family member." She wrapped her arm around his shoulders, earning a small smile. "Are you hungry? There's still some rice and pork if you would like any."

"No thank you, I'm alright." Souichi laughed warmly. She nodded and returned to the kitchen to resume cleaning. He bit down on his lip; what was he going to do? Was he going to leave the orphanage and finally experience the outside world? Or was he going to sit here where he was safe with all the children? He didn't know.

"Hey, Miss Rina?" He called out softly. Miss Rina pushed the door halfway open and poked her head out.

"Hm? What's the matter, Souichi-kun?"

"I know that all of you are very open and willing to help me out, but… do you know if there's anybody wise I can talk to? That can give me some good advice?"

"Oh? You need advice? What happened? Did our Souichi-kun finally find love?" She rested against the open door and sighed. "I knew he would eventually."

"No, Miss Rina, that's not it. I just… need some help with my family. I just want to talk to somebody."

"Well, I can get Miss Yuki for you. She's the smartest out of all of us. And she has been with you the longest."

"Thank you, Miss Rina. Thank you." Souichi bowed. "Could you tell her to come to my bedroom whenever she can?"

"I will."

"Thank you."

Wiping his hands nervously on his pants, Souichi blew a puff of air out and walked towards his room. He needed another person's opinion to make sure he wasn't going insane. He couldn't believe his life had come down to this. No other person in the world would be going through this right now and he was positive about it. Why him? He had done nothing but good things and had kissed up to God ever since he was little. He wanted to sleep and not wake up again until everything had blown over. He didn't want anything more to do with his sister's career at this point.

Walking to his bedroom felt like walking into a brick oven. Every step made his anxiety worse and the guilt hadn't gone away.

He sat on his bed and stared out the window at the moon. What should he do?

Maybe I should call Kanako and try to sort this out…

No, no, no… she would only rebuff me and call me an irresponsible brother…

Plus… with her vocal nodules… it's not like she can speak much anyway…

Ugh, but why would she put me up to this? At least Tomoe has a higher voice… and he's more gullible… why not him…

It wasn't even a couple minutes later when Miss Yuki knocked on his door and peeked in. "Can I come in?" She said, long black hair falling past her shoulder.

Souichi nodded, signaling her to come in. She pushed past the door, closing it quietly behind her. She wiped her hands on her apron before sitting down next to Souichi.

"Miss Rina told me you wanted to say something to me. What happened, Souichi-kun?"

Souichi sighed. "It's a long, twisted story."

"I have time."

"Well…" He rubbed his nape. "You know how I said I would do anything for my siblings?"

"Everyone knows it, Souichi." She laughed and placed her hand on his knee, rubbing it comfortingly.

"My sister… finally found herself a career. As a singer."

Miss Yuki gasped. "How lovely! Is she good? I hope she gets far."

"She's good, yes. And she got position as a visual back-up singer, but… something happened, and…"

"Is she alright?"

"She… she had nodules on her vocal cords and her agent told her to relax with singing until they healed. But she didn't listen to him and they got worse and now she needs to have surgery. Can you believe that?"

Miss Yuki laughed. "I don't know which one's more shocking, that she needs to have surgery or that she didn't listen to her strict big brother."

Souichi blushed. "Anyway… her agent came to me asking me to disguise myself as her and enter the band while she recovers in the meantime. I refused to. I'm a man, for Heaven's sake. What am I supposed to do? And he wanted me to live in their house with the other members and go to the press conferences and concerts and photo shoots just like Kanako would."

"Well…" She folded her hands in her lap. "It sounds to me like you need to really think about what your will wants. Don't rely on God for this one, Souichi-kun. Look within yourself and think about what Souichi would want. Put your pride aside for your sister. This is all for your sister's sake, and you can chew her out for not listening to you when she's all recovered. But right now, you need to think about what she would want you to do for her."

Souichi looked up at her. "You're… not making fun of me?"

"Why would I make fun of you?" Miss Yuki looked at him with a strange expression. "You've never been anything but loyal and helpful and polite. We've loved you since the day you stepped foot into this orphanage. It doesn't matter to me what you may have to do in your life, even if it means dressing as a female."

"I just didn't hope my life would turn out like this…"

"That's not something you can control, Souichi-kun. Life twists around in mysterious ways, and there's really nothing to do about it. If you want, we will support you the whole way. I could get all the children to go to the concerts to support you. They all love you."

Souichi sighed. "It's just… I'm conflicted. It's just not right."

"Is there anything that's kind of making you want to join? Or are you completely bent on saying no?"

"Well, Kanako said that if she was going to apply for a position as a singer, she would use our mother's middle name as her stage name to try and get our mother to notice that she was famous and come back to us. I still have hope that my mother is out there somewhere, and if Kanako wants to find her then that means that I should help her out and go find her myself. I feel so guilty, I refused everything her agent asked me. I probably just crushed her hopes and dreams, Miss Yuki. What do I do?" He buried his face in his palms.

"Well…" Miss Yuki chuckled softly. "I think you need to really think about your priorities, and I mean sit down and really think about them. You want to do this to find your mother, but your pride is in the way. That much I can see, and that much I can understand. Think about what your sister would want. I know this is a hard decision to make, any person would see that. But is it really all that bad?"

"You know how much I hate men." Souichi narrowed his eyes. "And they want me to live with them. As a female. What if they try to force themselves on me? What if they find out that I'm a male and they expose it and it ruins Kanako's career? I'd be the only one she could blame."

"Well, that's exactly why we gave you that pocketknife when you were eleven, Souichi-kun." She laughed at what she thought to be a hilarious statement, but when she saw no change in Souichi's attitude or expression, she cleared her throat and continued. "What about your sister's agent? Isn't he in charge of keeping her safe? And if he wanted you to be your sister, wouldn't he be in charge of keeping you safe?"

"Yes, but I can't just go living my life as a female! That's ridiculous!"

"Souichi-kun. Look at me." Souichi did as she said, looking at her with a wary look as she gently stroked his long hair and he blushed. "You have always been one of my favorite children. You are a very beautiful person, inside and out, and I as well as the rest of us here would never, ever do anything to make you feel shameful. And watching you over these years, every time one of your siblings had left to pursue their own life, you would get beyond upset. You love your family more than you love us, and even I can see that. You have always been the one that would do anything for your family. You gave your sister every cent of your life's savings so she would be able to pursue a career. You've done everything a person could do for their family. You've wanted to leave this orphanage ever since your sister left because you were lonely and felt that it wasn't fair that you couldn't pursue a career like they did. Don't you think this is the chance you've been looking for? You finally have a chance to go out into the real world, to see what everything is like. You finally have a chance to get your mother back. It's a very hard decision, and I think any human would be able to see that. But this is what your sister wants, and this is what she entrusted you with. Don't you think that if she decided to leave this up to you and use you as her cover that she knew you were a capable and responsible big brother? Don't you think that she knew that out of you and your younger brother, you would be the one that could handle it? Maa, Tomoe-kun was always kind of an airhead, so personally I think he'd be the type to expose himself extremely soon. Anyhow, I want you to think about this, Souichi-kun. I don't expect an answer right away, but I'm not sure how much time your sister's agent has to press you about this, so please come up with one within the next few days. We love you. Have a good night, okay?"

Souichi nodded silently, biting his lip as she walked out. She had a valid point. He had been moaning about wanting to leave for a while now. He was very lonely without his siblings here. He loved them more than he loved himself, and he had promised to do anything for them. Was this really the way he had to go? Was this really God's will to put him through this?

Sighing, he fell back onto his bed, shutting his eyes and trying to drift off to sleep. His thoughts ached in his head, and he pressed the balls of his hands to his forehead, groaning sympathetically. Why was he in this situation? Why him?

Sleep took him faster than he had initially hoped, as he hadn't even changed his clothes, and something inside of him told him it wouldn't be a calm sleep.

He woke the next morning feeling a little better, but he still felt guilty. Or maybe he was just really hungry. He hoped it was the second one, and sighed.

Getting out of bed, he showered quickly and changed into a light blue pullover and black pants and socks, brushing his hair with a wire brush. He could smell ham, a sign that they were cooking breakfast. Had he woken up late again?

He made his way down the hall, seeing kids playing and laughing in their bedrooms. They would all turn and say hi to him and wave to him, and he would wave back, feeling flattered that so many people adored him. Miss Yuki was right; the children really loved him. They loved him the way he loved Kanako and Tomoe, and he could vaguely imagine how much these innocent children, christened by the Lord, would do for him. Pushing the door open to the kitchen, he saw Miss Yuki and Miss Rina cooking everybody breakfast.

"Morning." Souichi muttered, running a hand through his damp sandy hair. The Misses turned to him.

"Good morning, Souichi-kun!" Miss Rina smiled, pushing a dirty plate down into the water-filled sink.

"Did you sleep well, Souichi-kun?" Miss Yuki asked, then mouthing to him "Did you think about what I said?"

Souichi nodded, walking over to the stove and seeing four very large pans cooking their breakfast. "Ham and eggs?"

"Mhm~!" Miss Yuki hummed in singsong. "Your favorite! I figured we'd make it just for you. After all, you're going through a tough time right now."

"Miss Yuki told me what happened, Souichi-kun. And please, don't ever be embarrassed around us! We're here to support you one-hundred percent!"

"I hope you don't think I'm crazy…" He muttered, picking up the spatula and pushing the egg-covered ham slices around in the large pans, being careful not to burn them. The Misses had tried to teach him how to cook for as long as he could remember, but it was something he could never successfully pick up.

"Oh, certainly not!" Miss Rina said, flicking her hand. "We would never think that, Souichi-kun." Did Miss Yuki tell Miss Rina about his problem and their conversation last night? He hoped not; although they were very trustworthy women, it was just so embarrassing to have people know about something like this.

"Where's Miss Kimi?" Souichi muttered turning his head a little bit.

"She's out in the garden weeding the grass. We sent her out not long ago, saying that she needed something to do." Miss Yuki turned and looked at Souichi. "Oh… I'm sorry, did you want to weed the garden?"

"Nah, it's fine."

"So," Miss Yuki smacked her hands together and turned to face Souichi. "Did you ever come up with a conclusion?"

Souichi sighed. "I only have one option, don't I?"

"Maa, don't put it that way, Souichi-kun. Enjoy it while you can. You should go tell the children in the meantime so they don't get upset and wonder where you went off to."

"Thank you, Miss Yuki." Souichi bowed and stepped out of the kitchen, rubbing his face with one hand. He had to say goodbye to everybody, something he didn't know if he was mentally prepared to do, but he had no choice.

He went to Mika's room first, feeling most comfortable with telling her out of everybody else. Mika was the one that reminded him of his sister the most.

Knocking on her doorframe gently, he watched as her head turned towards him.

"Souichi-sama!" She shrieked and ran up to him, latching herself onto his waist. The action took the breath out of him as he raised his hand to rub the back of her hair.

"Hey, Mika…"

"I missed you so much! Where did you go?! Don't leave again!"

Souichi chuckled warmly, kneeling down to look at her face.

"Well, Mika… we have to talk about that…"

"T-talk?" Her dark eyes got wide. "What do you mean?"

"Come on. Sit on your bed." He patted her on the back as she crawled onto her bed, taking one of her stuffed animals and wrapping her arms around it.

"What's wrong?"

Souichi sighed. "I might be leaving soon."

"L… leaving? But… why would you wanna leave? We love you here!"

"I know, Mika, and it's not because of you. I promise you."

Mika pouted, wanting to cry. "Do you hate us?"

"No. I couldn't hate you." Souichi smiled at her, ruffling her hair. "I'm having a little bit of trouble with my family, and I might need to leave soon."

"Will you come back?" Now he could see tears in her eyes, something he didn't want. He felt his heart ripping in half inside his chest. He never wanted to make her upset like this; he wanted to tell her that he wouldn't be around anymore, but he wanted to do it nicely and carefully so she wouldn't get hurt.

"Of course I will. Don't cry." He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and caressed her back lovingly. "I don't want you to cry, Mika. I'll always come back for you."

"You will?"

"I will." He told her, pushing her hair past her ears. "And I need you to do me a favor. Since I don't have enough time to go tell everybody myself, I need you to tell them that I'm leaving. I don't want them to panic when I suddenly disappear."

"I can do that for Souichi-sama!" Mika clapped her hands together. "I promise."

"Promise me that you will?" Souichi held out his pinky, watching as she hooked her pinky around his. It caused him to smile and want to cry with her.

"I promise." Mika smiled widely, hugging Souichi's stomach.

"Are you hungry?" Souichi asked. "The Misses are making breakfast."

"Ooh, what kind? I hope it's something good!"

"It's my favorite. Go on. Go set the table."

"Are you coming, Souichi-sama?"

"I will. I just have to make a phone call real quick. You go on ahead, go set the table. Do it well!" Souichi called out as she ran down the hall to the dining room. Chuckling softly, his smile suddenly fell as he thought about calling Isogai. This could very easily be the worst decision he could ever make. This could very easily put Kanako in a hell of a lot of jeopardy, and could get her kicked out if they found out that Souichi was pretending to be her. But this was what he had to do. Even if it was a lose-lose situation, he severely hoped at least some good would come out of it.

Walking back into his bedroom and picking up the cell phone off of his nightstand, he fished through his cardigan pocket from yesterday and pulled out Isogai's written check. Flipping it over, he dialed the number into the phone and pressed it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Taichirou Isogai?" Souichi muttered unsurely, staring at the check in his hand.

"Speaking. Who is this?"

"Souichi."

"Ah, Souichi-kun~. What did you want?"

Souichi bit down on his lip, tapping the phone gently with his fingers. Biting out the words was a lot harder than he thought.

Getting slightly suspicious about the silence, Isogai spoke again. "Did you call me to talk about Kanako? Maa, she's still not any better, but she didn't get any worse, thankfully. Her surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning at a hospital in Los Angeles. Don't worry, the doctor is one of the best in the country, and I've paid him a lot to make sure he takes extremely good care of her."

"Actually…" Souichi gulped. "I'll do what you asked."

"Huh?" Souichi could practically hear him smirking.

"I'll do it. I'll become Kanako."

"You'll disguise yourself as Kanako and live in the dorms?"

"I already told you I would, so don't mention it again! Where do I need to go?"

Isogai laughed on the other line. "Meet me outside the office below the staircase. Dress like yourself. I'll bring your clothes. There's a press conference today that you must attend as Sandara. All you have to do is dress and show up; you won't need to speak if you don't want to. The members might try to talk to you, but I'll assure the press that you're still getting over your new member jitters."

"I still can't believe you're making me do this…" Souichi muttered as he shoved the folded check back into his cardigan pocket.

"You can do it, Souichi-kun. I just know Kanako would be rooting for you if she could."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll be at the office at 5 PM. Do you need me to bring my stuff?"

"Eh, I would bring everything you're close to. If you have pictures of your family, anything from your siblings, things you don't want to get rid of. Don't bring any of your clothes; they'll question why you have them. Don't worry about it, Souichi-kun. I'll get you a stylist and they'll buy you all the clothes you need."

"It better not be a male. And didn't I tell you to stop calling me that?"

Isogai laughed. "See you at 5 PM, Souichi-kun."

And that was that. The call went dead and Souichi practically threw the phone onto his bed. Why was he doing this? Why was he seriously doing this? He wanted to take the knife and stab himself, now that he thought about it. Reaching for his wrist, he pulled the black band off and tied his hair back with it. Grabbing a dark woolen hat, he slung it over the top of his hair. He didn't want people from the agency to recognize him without his disguise.

Letting out a shaky breath, he opened his closet door and pulled out a suede satchel. Pulling the flap up, he looked around his room for things to put in the bag. The picture of him with Kanako and Tomoe, his money bank, Mika's drawing of them…

He didn't want to go. The more he put into the satchel, the more he dreaded his decision. He bit his lip, listening to the sounds of laughing children from down the hall. He did want to take a couple of his clothes, just so he would have something to make him feel at least a bit comfortable. Digging through his drawers and pulling out a few pairs of white briefs, he stuffed them into the bottom of the satchel so they wouldn't be noticeable. He opened another drawer and pulled out a couple of pocketed cardigans, a red one and a gray one, something he loved to wear. The off-white one he wore yesterday was dirty, but he pulled it out of the hamper and shoved it into the bag anyway. He would get the stylist to wash it for him.

Sighing, he closed the dresser drawer, took one last look around the bedroom he had grown up in, and slung the satchel over his shoulder and walked out of the room.

He didn't imagine leaving home would feel this terrifying. Not only was he going to miss all of the children that wanted him to tutor them, but he was changing his entire life now. Living as a female was not something he had ever had in mind, but it wasn't like he had much of a choice.

Isogai met him by the bottom of the stairs, holding a black vinyl bag, just like he said he would. His throat felt dry and tight; he didn't want to do this. He really didn't want to do this.

"Can I die yet?" Souichi mumbled, hazel eyes cast to the ground.

"Not quite yet, Sandara." Isogai smirked. "Come on. We have half an hour until the press conference in the office. I'll take you to the restroom, you can get washed up and changed."

"Don't think that you're fucking coming in there and helping me."

"Nah, I'll wait for you outside~." Isogai patted him on the back and motioned for him to climb the stairs, following Souichi from behind. "The agency is throwing a celebratory party tonight at the club down the street to congratulate your admittance."

"A party?" Souichi had never been to a party before, not unless it was one of the birthday parties that they would throw at the orphanage with a cake and candles and little presents that children would buy with their allowance and were usually a small box of chocolates or a pack of gum or a slinky.

"Don't worry. Just go, talk to some people, have a drink or two, and have a good time. I'll bring your clothes for the party, don't worry about it."

"I don't drink alcohol." Souichi mumbled, stopping at the top of the stairs and turning to look at Isogai. "It's a sin."

"Come on, Souichi-kun. You can't have fun unless you drink. You'll like it, trust me! I know you will!" Isogai smiled and clapped his hands together.

"This is so ridiculous…"

"Maa, come on, it's for Kanako-chan. Okay, here." Isogai handed Souichi the black bag. "Your clothes and accessories are all in here. If you need any help, you can just ask me. I know you don't want me to help you in any way, you don't want me to touch you, but if you can't figure out how to put something on I can at least tell you from the other side of the door."

"Standing outside my door? Not unless you're at least a foot from the door." Souichi grumbled. Taking the bag, he peered inside it very quickly. All he could see was white lace and he wanted to die. It was probably a dress, something he would die before he would wear.

"Would you like me to take your bag?" Isogai motioned to Souichi's side. Souichi looked down at his arm, noticing that he was still carrying the satchel. He nodded in understanding and removed the bag, placing it in Isogai's waiting hand.

"Don't touch anything in there."

"Ah, I won't if you don't want me to." Isogai smiled at him. "Now come on. We have to get you changed and ready. The restroom is down this hall, the first door on the right," Isogai pointed to the left curved hallway, where Souichi's eyes followed. "It's a unisex bathroom, so please use a stall or lock all of the doors. Once you're all changed and ready, there is a door to the far right end that opens into the side of the office. It will be dark and there will be a lot of reporters with cameras, so please do not get frightened."

"Stop treating me like I'm a little girl." Souichi growled, glaring at him.

"And another thing." Isogai snapped his fingers excitedly. "Please lay off of the cursing and bad attitude. Your sister was friendly and cheerful, so please at least try to be like her. You can act like Souichi all you want in your free time, but at professional meetings like this, we need you to act, well… professional."

"Fine, now can you leave me alone?"

"Alright, alright. Go on. I'll stay out here."

It's my birthday so I decided to give you guys a free chapter of this ( :

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