Disclaimer- I do not own Castle yet Castle owns me. What a deal...

Enjoy

I could feel the stares of the boys. They had never seen me cry before. Lanie took them to the side and explained what had happened. After about half an hour the doctor came out.

"Mrs. Castle?"

The doctor hadn't seemed to realise that none of us was actually a 'Mrs. Castle' however all three of us lifted our heads.

He looked at me and said that Castle was going to be fine. My mind blocked everything else. He was going to be alright. That was good enough for me. He was alive. Soon he would be to making hearts out of the cream in my coffee each morning. Soon I'll be back in his arms. It took me a second to remember that things had changed. All because of that one little word. No. What had I done? He probably didn't even want to talk to me anymore. I looked around and saw the relief on Martha's and Alexis's faces.

I stood up, "Well, I better get going them."

"Katherine darling where do you think your going?" Martha asked me. Her voice was shaking but her eyes were alert again.

"Back to D.C, I have work to do and Castle's alright." Plus he probably doesn't even want to look at me anymore remained unsaid.

"Katherine Beckett that is the lousiest..." Martha's words were cut off by the doctor.

"Katherine? Your name is Kate?" He asked me.

I nodded wondering what this was about.

"Mr. Castle called out for you when he woke up after surgery," he said.

"What?" My mind was racing a mile a minute. Was I hearing right? Or was my imagination playing tricks on me?

"He's awake if you want to see him."

My heart pounding I followed the doctor into the room.

There he was; my Prince Charming, my love, my reason to survive. He looked pale but to me he never looked more ruggedly handsome. His eyes lit up when he saw me and I saw his beautiful smile for a second before it fell and he looked at me with hurt I had never seen on his face before. The doctor left the room and I took a step closer.

"Kate what do you want?" His voice had a bitter edge to it that immediately threw me off guard.

Biting my lip I stepped forward.
"Alexis called me. Do you want me to get her?" I knew the answer before I asked. I saw the way his face lit up at the mention of his daughter. I backed out of the room and motioned to Alexis.

She ran up to me but stopped short of the door. She looked at me and I saw a look of terror pass her face. Of course she'd be scared. I would be too if that was my dad lying there. I gently propelled her into the room. Apparently that was all the incentive she needed. I turned around and walked back.

"Martha probably want to see him." I thought. Of course she does. She is his mother. Mentally kicking myself I walked over to her and pulled her to her feet. I followed her to the door. She stopped.

"He still loves you dear." She put her hand on my shoulder and stepped into the room.

I watched from outside as Martha embraced her son. Alexis was curled up next to him. She seemed to be telling him a story. I smiled and tore my eyes away from them. It was a beautiful family. A family I could have been a part of but I was too stupid to let it happen.

Slowly I walked back to my team.

Correction.

What used to be my team. Lanie put her arms around me as I sank into the sofa. Soon Jenny called and Ryan went home. She was pregnant after all. I sat like that for about thirty minutes before Martha and Alexis came out of his room.

I stood up and smiled at the obvious joy on their faces. Alexis came up to me and hugged me.

"He's asleep now." She said softly. I tightened my hold on her.

Pulling back she asked my where I was staying tonight.

"At Lanie's I guess." I couldn't help but notice the look of disappointment that flitted across her face for a second.

"Oh! Okay then. Gran and I have to get home now." A smiled tugged at her lips and she grabbed her grandmother's bejewelled hand. She waved at me and left.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I didn't need to look back to know that it was Lanie.

"Go say goodbye to writer boy, I'll wait here," she turned around and went back to Esposito and I took tentative steps back to Castle.

He was asleep so I went and sat on a chair next to his bed. He looked so vulnerable, unlike the man who just over a year ago promised to take me somewhere safe. I took his hand and softly kissed it. I looked up and saw his blue eyes gazing into my green ones.

I hastily let go of his hand but he held on.

"Don't go," he whispered softly.

"I won't," I whispered back gripping his hand again.

We sat in silence until he lightly stroked my hand.

"Kate," I looked up, "I think I deserve and explanation," he said not letting go of my hand.

I looked into his eyes. Eyes that I had made dissolve in to tears, ravage with anger and darken with lust. I knew he deserved an explanation. I just didn't know what to say.

Third chapter done. I've been trying to load chapters since yesterday but the site hasn't been letting me. Review please. :D