Title: Hot Date

Pairing: Denmark x Norway a bit, Iceland x Hong Kong

Rating: Blah

Lukas was walking around town, minding his own business (and enjoying the fact that Mathias, this guy who sort of stalked him, was out of town for the day) and chilling out. He enjoyed the warm(ish) summer breeze flitting through his light blond hair. He was wearing blue jeans and a lighter blue shirt (having decided not to put on his usual sailor outfit since everyone seemed to think he was a girl when he wore it) and had his customary, plus-sign-shaped clip holding one side of his bangs in place. He was feeling pretty good about himself today. No Mathias in sight, he didn't have to worry about his little brother Emil, and his other family- Tino, Berwald, and Peter -were at the zoo for the day. It was pretty much perfect. He didn't have to worry about those fools. He could just go to a bookshop, get some New Age magic books, and then read all day in Starbucks- WHAT THE HAMMER OF THOR?!

Lukas doubled back and peered through the window of the burrito place, pressing his face right up against the window to stare at his baby brother, Emil, and that... that stupid little Asian guy from down the block. That wouldn't have been so bad, except for the fact that THEY WERE HOLDING HANDS AND KISSING. IN PUBLIC. WHAT THE FUCK.

Lukas instantly walked straight up to the burrito place and slammed open the door. Instantly, all the customers whirled around in their seats to stare at him as if he had just, well, slammed open the door to a burrito place. As soon as Iceland saw his older brother in the doorway he jumped to his feet, staring frantically around for an exit besides the front door. He grabbed Hong Kong by the hand and dragged him out the emergency exit, causing a piercing alarm to go off and, somehow, all the sprinklers in the place to start doing their thing.

Norway cursed in Norwegian as he followed his younger brother out of the emergency exit. Somehow, though he passed under at least two sprinklers, he left the burrito place completely dry... Denmark stroked his chin thoughtfully. He was almost immediately distracted by the thought of how awesome he'd look with a beard...

He followed Norway, who was chasing after Hong Kong and Iceland, who were running as fast as they could toward... um... somewhere. No matter how fast they ran, though, Norway kept gaining on them, even though he was simply walking. Denmark was starting to get a bit creeped out, but then he caught sight of Norway's butt in those jeans... and... well, everything was okay.

AYE**LUV**YOU

Three hours later, Iceland, Hong Kong, and Denmark are tied up in Norway's basement. Norway is upstairs scrolling Tumblr. Apparently he can't bring himself to care about the unfortunate fates of his almost-crush, his baby brother, and his baby brother's boyfriend.

Norway took a sip of his tea and reblogged a post about something or other, when suddenly he remembered... oh yeah, he's got three people tied up in his basement. Maybe he should decide what to do with them?

...Naaaaaah.

A/N Did any of you catch the vague-ish 30 Rock reference? X3

I'm sorry that this sucks so much.

Jywy sort of brought this to you, 'cept I'm sure she was hoping for something with more finesse. *sneaks away*

And I'm sorry but I didn't edit this because I'm so tired.