A\N – Well, ME3 is out and some parts of my story, most notably Liara's lineage, are now AU. I'm not changing it though, and may incorporate the bartender into the story somehow… I don't know. I find their story boring. So I'm leaving it.

As far as the length of time between updates – yea this took me a lot longer than I expected. I've been distracted with an exam and work and a few other things, but that is coming back under control. I do not plan to drop the story because there is still a whole lot of story to tell, and I am enjoying this far too much. Thanks for the interest!

Chapter 45: The means

-Halls of Platinum, Sitting area

"Are you going to pull her here every time she sleeps now?"

Athame was absently fingering a few of her game pieces, contemplating the board and recent events. She barely spared a glance at him, but she could feel how pleased he was with himself and with his creation.

"Of course not. Just until she understands."

Inwardly, Athame shrugged and turned her attention back to the game board and the pieces she was holding. They weren't very important as far as the fate of the universe was concerned, but she wanted to place them carefully nonetheless. She had gotten sloppy, and it had very nearly cost them the war. She would have to be more careful from now on, to ensure that he didn't find out about her little side bet, and to make sure that his Champion had the resources she needed to do the impossible. If they failed this time, it wouldn't be because Athame had withheld assets or made poor decisions. This time, she had much at stake, and she could not allow it to be lost.

Athame waved a hand dismissively. "She understands, and if she doesn't by now, then your children certainly could have benefitted from some of Keelah's gifts. Perhaps we shouldn't have been so eager to part ways."

He studied her carefully, trying to determine whether she was joking or not. In the end, he decided she was just teasing him. When he had suggested the split at the dawn of the last age, she was the first to rally to his side. Long had she wanted complete reign over her creations, and long had she wanted a race built solely in her image. He was not surprised to learn that she had made a species consisting of entirely maternal creatures, and he was even a little impressed. In that one act, she had managed to sidestep all of the unfortunate issues that had kept his children fighting amongst themselves for centuries and ultimately from discovering the relays and citadel first. He was still proud of his humans, because once they got out of their own way they made progress faster than anyone else… But still, they might have been a lot further along if he had made a few different design choices.

He leaned forward over the board, his long platinum hair falling forward across his chiseled cheek. "Hmmm. Are you sure that you do not want to place anyone with this group?" He was looking at a team of three dark-skinned humans, two sisters and a brother, who were exploring the galaxy and trying to make a name for themselves.

Athame barely spared them a glance. She had other things on her mind, such as keeping her meddling High Seat out of her affairs and ensuring that no one got killed by the insufferable woman's overzealous assassin daughter. They were getting a little out of hand, and she needed to rein them in before they found out too much about some of the walking gifts she had bestowed upon Thessia. It wasn't time, and she wasn't ready.

I should have never encouraged worship. Those women have caused me nothing but trouble since day one.

Still, she needed to continue working with Palladium to build the new world, and should they manage by some miracle to thwart the machine-gods this time, the addition of his bloodlines to hers would make her daughters an even greater force to be feared. She was particularly interested in seeing what came out of the pairing of his Champion and her demon. It was even possible that after a few more centuries of this back and forth banter, he would finally see the wisdom in her methods and allow some evolutionary changes to his humans so they, too, could benefit from adding bloodlines from the other species. Then, their total domination in the galaxy would be as complete on the physical worlds as it already was in the heavens. Humans and asari would rule all the other races.

She gestured behind her and several pieces gracefully floated toward the board. Palladium stared blankly at her, slowly blinking. She never missed a chance to show off her biotics, or her multitasking abilities. While she was considering where to place the pieces she was absently fingering in her left hands, she used her right to gently guide four souls through the air to a space station in the path of the ship he had indicated. He rubbed his temple and closed his eyes. She had moved four pieces, when he had indicated three to be paired. It was against the rules, but he didn't think she was trying to cheat. She just wasn't quite present at the moment.

That was actually happening quite often, lately.

"We can pick up this game tomorrow, if you aren't feeling up to it."

She looked up at him quizzically, and then slowly nodded. "Perhaps we should, my friend. I am not much in the matchmaking mood. I have many things to attend to."

He stood and offered his hand to her. She accepted it graciously and allowed him to help her to her feet, folding her black wings neatly behind her.

"I will see you tomorrow then, Athame. Shall I call a chariot to bring you back to the Obsidian Halls?" he started to say, but she was already gone.

She waved at him absently as she walked away, through the golden doors and across his courtyard. She paused for only a moment on the terrace before extending her wings and stepping into the night. She was gone.

Palladium looked back at the playing board, but decided to leave the pieces as they were. Perhaps one of his humans would be extremely fortunate and end up with two of her daughters. He smiled to himself and absently waved his hand over the board, activating the protective shielding that would keep the game in stasis until next they sat down to play. He then extended his own wings, and strolled out to the courtyard in search of his most beloved star. He had much to tell her about the progress their child had made.

-Normandy, Sickbay storage rooms

Commander Jane Shepard stood in front of the airlock separating the main part of the medical bay from the storage rooms, and tried again to sort through what she was going to say. The adamant resolve of a few hours ago when she had first awakened from her dream of vindication was quickly dissipating as she stood there, hand halfway to the airlock controls. Then, it had seemed like the most logical course of action, but now that she actually stood outside the woman's door, she was having second thoughts.

I've never trusted anyone in my life… Well except for Darla, but I never even told her anything really personal. I wonder if Liara will even… care. Will she just think me a fool? She might just tell me to get some help, and disappear from my life forever. Maybe this was a mistake…

Jane closed her eyes and tried to will herself the strength to open the door, but for some reason it seemed like she couldn't grasp the platinum that had lent her power so many times before. It was slipping through the tendrils of consciousness that she reached out with to capture it like water pouring over a rocky ledge. Maybe it wasn't available for things like this. Maybe it was only available for battle, and she couldn't use it as leverage against her weakened resolve when presented with matters of the heart. Maybe she was just losing her mind completely, and now that she had come to Liara's door and was faced with the very real possibility she was going mad, it was all dissolving as if it never was.

I guess it doesn't really matter 'why'. I can't use it, and that's an end to it. I'm on my own. It just might be something that is completely in my head, and I'm about to throw away everything I've ever wanted because of it.

Jane opened her eyes again and started to draw her hand back. She couldn't do this. She couldn't consciously try to sabotage her one chance at happiness by walking into that storage room and announcing to Liara that she was a raving lunatic who thought she visited platinum twilight worlds and danced with singing swords. It was ridiculous, and she knew it was ridiculous. She started to turn away from the door, but the telltale 'whoosh' sounded behind her, and she closed her eyes as she felt a hand wrap around her wrist.

"Jane, why are you standing out here?"

Jane paused midway through her turn, but didn't open her eyes. "I was coming to see you."

Liara looked around the medbay for any indication of why the commander seemed to be leaving instead of opening the airlock, but she didn't see anything.

"Why are you leaving then?"

Jane opened her eyes again and turned to the asari, who let go of her wrist and stepped back, smiling sweetly. "I'm not leaving. I'm just… there's some things we need to talk about, Liara. But, if you were on your way to go do something, it can wait."

Blue eyes stared into her own black ones for a few moments, and then the asari took her hands and led Jane into the small room and over to a chair.

"I was not on my way to do anything. I felt you outside the door, and when you did not come in, I got worried. Jane, what is going on?"

Commander Jane Shepard's heart nearly broke at the agonized look on Liara's face. She was so young, and so untouched by war and pain, but the days were wearing on her, and she was not the same as she was when they had first met on Therum. Jane was directly responsible for that, and the guilt was starting to chew away at what sanity was left in her confused mind.

I brought her to this end. All of this is my doing. I refused to leave her behind on missions she should have had no part of, and I insisted on making her an active part of this impossible task. I have been incredibly selfish and she has had to witness horror after horror, all by my hand. How could she ever forgive me?

Jane took a breath and opened her mouth to speak, but words wouldn't come out. She saw the agony in Liara's features and wished for probably the tenth time that she could reach the platinum, but this time she was on her own… and it was now or never.

Jane steeled herself and leaned forward in the chair, looking intently into the asari's blue eyes. "Liara, I have some things to tell you, and I'm not really sure where to begin. It's probably not going to make a whole lot of sense to you right now… hell, it doesn't even make any sense to me." She raised a hand to forestall Liara's reply and continued. "But I need to tell you. This has been going on for far too long, and I can't pretend that it isn't affecting the crew, or the mission, any longer."

Liara leaned back against the table her consoles sat on, and absently picked at her nails. She had been expecting this, of course. She could feel the dull ache in her mind growing ever more insistent as the days drew on. Jane was in serious trouble, and somehow Liara had managed to insert herself into an impossible situation, further complicating the matter. She knew what she had to do... She just hoped there was enough strength left in her own confused and broken mind to do it. She couldn't be selfish any longer when the stakes were so high. Her own personal happiness would have to wait, and she would have to let the commander go.