Chapter 54: On the subject of… not… dating.

A/N - There's a deliberate misspelling in here. Yep. A deliberate one! :)

Thessia, Matriarch Terriana's compound, Security offices

Danger was looking forward to today. In fact, she had hardly slept the previous night. Something about the look in the matriarch's eyes when she answered that shy question erased any doubts she might have been having about the whole idea. The force that she put behind the declaration, the way she so obviously made it clear that it was a bold-faced lie told Danger that Rolus was right about everything and she needn't have been so nervous. Terriana always checked the schedule for the next day before coming to see Danger, because they often would plan how to handle security before retiring to their spots on the bench. She knew, and was encouraging it. There was nothing at all to be nervous about.

So why do I feel sick to my stomach?

Danger wandered out into the hallway, with no clear idea where she was going. No one else in the household seemed to be up, and though Danger would have liked to have gone outside to train in the garden with the morning shift of warriors, she thought better of it. It wouldn't do to incur the wrath of Terriana over something so trivial, not now. Not when she was so very close to figuring this whole thing out once and for all. Nothing was going to spoil this day. Nothing.

She found herself wandering past the kitchen, where the head cook was getting ready to prepare the matriarch's, and Danger's, morning meal. Finally! Someone who was awake! The human grinned to herself and walked up behind the short asari matron, peering over her shoulder.

"Mmm, that smells good."

The ornery chef shouldered Danger out of the way roughly, but the slight smile at the corner of her mouth belied her gruff demeanor.

"Get out of here, mischief maker. I don't have time for the likes of you." The cook playfully swatted in Danger's general direction with a hand towel and the human jumped back a little.

"Hey, I was giving you a compliment!"

"Get on now, with your honeyed words, rascal. I'll not have any of it this morning."

"Oh come on," Danger said, hoisting herself onto a nearby table. "You don't mean that."

"Hrpmh," was the only reply.

Danger looked around absently for a bit, and then asked, "So what is it anyway?"

"You'll find out at the morning meal, same as the Mistress."

"Pft."

The older asari looked over her shoulder at Danger, and asked, "What are you doing up? The Mistress will not be awake for another hour."

"Yea, I couldn't sleep. So I'm wandering. I thought I might come in here and steal a sweet roll or two, but Larissa hasn't been baking."

"No, the child is spending her school vacation with her mother over in Armali. They are visiting the T'Soni Museum. Don't worry, they should return soon. You'll have your sweet rolls again."

Danger grinned. "Good. I really miss those. How come you never make them?"

"Hrpmh."

Silence descended once more and Danger scanned the room for something to eat. Without the house girl though, the pickings were really slim.

"I hope your date with the Mistress goes well."

Danger's head snapped around in shock. She knew about that? How could she possibly have known about that? "What did you say?"

The cook turned around, wiping her hands on the dish towel and leaning against the counter. "I said that I hope your date with the Mistress goes well. We're all linked into the schedule you know. Or did you think I prepared meals every day whether you two were here or not?"

"I… um… yea" Danger's brain stopped working momentarily.

The older asari waved it off. "Don't worry about it, Danger. This is a good thing and we've all been praying for it since you got back. You have no idea what this place was like that week you were gone. The Mistress barely ate a thing, but forced me to cook full meals anyway. Larissa litrally wouldn't come out of the cupboards. I'm surprised the Mistress didn't make us serve meals at the table as well, but I suppose she hadn't quite gone off the deep end. Yet. Believe me, it was coming. Everyone in the household is rooting for you, rascal. No one wants to go through another week like that one."

"Ok… well... do you have any advice?"

"Advice? No, you don't need advice. I've heard about your reputation from Alleria. You just do what you do, and I'm sure everything will be just… fine." The old chef offered a mischievous grin.

Danger groaned. The last thing she needed was Alleria spreading rumors.

"You have to know none of that is true. Not by a long shot. Come on."

"Indeed? Well, in that case, can I ask you something that puzzled me?"

"Ya. What?"

"Why driving?"

"Um… Well… I don't know? It just seemed like a good idea at the time, right? It's something I'm good at, and can like… teach her… yea?"

"Hmm. Well, then what's your plan?"

Plan? What is she talking about with a plan? I was just going to go get a car, come back here, and teach her to drive it. Plan?

"I don't understand."

"No you don't, do you, my dear sweet innocent little rascal… tsk tsk." She studied Danger's face, recognizing the quizzical look and correctly interpreting it as… inexperience. "I just didn't know why you would choose something that makes it so hard to get close, you know?"

Oh…

OH…?

OH!

Shit, yea, now I see what she means. Wow, I mean, I don't want to get close anyway, right? I mean she doesn't, right? Not with me... Maybe? Ok so she agreed to this, more or less, but not because she's hoping to like… I mean, we have so much opportunity on the bench at night, and she never even looks up from her datapad… Fuck. Fuck, fuck, FUCK… FUCK! I really didn't think this through. What if she does want to? And maybe I'm being an idiot with this whole… lesson… thing… NO!

Danger buried her face in her hands and shook her head. "I'm just no good at this, Jes. I'm gonna mess this up so bad."

The older asari pushed off from the counter and walked over to her human friend. She lifted herself up to sit next to Danger, put an arm around the miserable mercenary and squeezed her. "Nah, you aren't. It's going to be just fine. Here's what you do. Make sure that you pick the most complex vehicle you have. Something with a lot of buttons and stuff, buttons that you'll have to help her find all the time. Maybe something with a lot of room so you can slide right next to her and show her the controls. DON'T take one of those stupid ones with the pedals and those ridiculous sticks in the middle. Keep the way clear. Ok?"

Danger still hadn't taken her face out of her hands. She shook her head and waited.

"Take her out to the mountains. Don't even try to make it back here for the evening meal. I'll have something made up for you two; just pick it up on your way out. Go watch the sunset and enjoy the night off. Things'll fall into place. You'll see."

Danger lifted her head and stared at the ceiling. "Yea, sure, whatever you say Jes."

I'm gonna fuck this up so bad. I wonder if it's too late to cancel it and like, feign some terrible human illness or something. I should call Jane. I'm sure that she has come across some incurable disease she can like, have her doctor fit me with the symptoms for. Dr. Chakwas is the best after all, right? RIGHT!?

"Danger, look at me." The old matron took the human's chin and turned the human's face toward her. "You're going to be just fine. It's no secret that the two of you have been dancing around this since you arrived here on Thessia. Don't start to doubt yourself now, rascal. I've known Terriana a lot of years, almost six hundred at this point, and I know her. You're not making a mistake. Just do as I said and you'll be fine. Now, get the hell out of my kitchens. You have a date to get ready for!" She pushed Danger off the counter and toward the door and threw a handful of some kind of powder Danger didn't recognize for good measure.

"Fine, fine, I'm leaving. I'm gonna have to see if Ned can pick up something from Earth or the Citadel for me."

The cook raised an eyebrow at her. "Hmm?"

"All my cars here have that 'ridiculous stick' in the middle." Danger grinned, and dodged another handful of the strange brown substance as she ducked back into the hallway and took off for her offices at a full run.

Thessia, Outside the Matriarch's compound, Danger's sport rover

She's not going to actually show. She'll have an emergency meeting or something, and that'll be that. You'll be off the hook, and you'll NEVER do something like this again. What a stupid idea this was. Just… stupid.

Danger was sitting on the hood of one of her favorite sport rovers. It wasn't a large vehicle like the ones she took on extractions, but rather, a car designed for luxury and speed. And, it didn't have that "ridiculous stick" in the middle the old chef Jes had warned her against. Danger swung her legs against the front tire, absently staring at the darkening Thessian skyline, beating herself up for even having this foolish notion of teaching Terriana how to drive.

You're such an idiot. You should have just stayed in your offices and watched that race. You should have just made up some stupid small talk with Rolus instead of spilling your guts. You should have…

"DANGER!"

Shit!

"Matriarch! Hi! I mean… I mean Terriana, hey." Danger slid off the car and nervously wiped her hands down the front of her cargo style pants. It was really the best she could do. She at least managed to find a pair that didn't look like she'd done too much mechanical work in them, and she managed to find a clean black shirt. Her hair was even cooperating. Mostly. "I um, didn't see you walk up."

"Indeed." Terriana crossed her arms and waited.

She's not gonna make this easy on me.

"Well, um… yea... Are you ready?"

Terriana gave the briefest of nods, and Danger opened the driver's side door. "All right, here's your first official lesson. There's the driver's seat. Hop in!"

The asari matriarch did as instructed, and Danger rested her hand on the roof and leaned inside. "Ok, there's your accelerator, and there's your thruster if you need it. DIDI, can you pop over here for a bit? I need to program you for the matriarch's commands."

"Accessing: Voice verification complete. Good evening Operative Danger. I have a message for you from Commander Jane Shepard."

Danger was mildly surprised. "Oh? Well, that's interesting. What is the message?"

"The message is, 'it's about time. Send pics! Vids, if you can. I could use some tips. Because you know… Reasons.'"

Shit, she picks TODAY to get a sense of humor? Are you fucking kidding me?

"DIDI, were you in the Mako today?"

"Well you haven't been driving lately, so yes I have been spending time there with Chief Mechanic Garrus and Chief Hacker Tali."

"How did Jane find out… grr. I should have never loosened your shackles."

DIDI just looked at her innocently. Danger massaged her temple, wishing she hadn't called the unpredictable AI to help, and wishing even more she had never programmed the nuisance with an evolving personality. "Fine. Just… go away until we need you again. And log Terriana's voice records to your Administrator subroutine. She's to have the same access as me, unless I've locked her out for security reasons - Subroutine verification Darla priority one Terriana."

"As you wish, Operative Danger."

Throughout the exchange Terriana hadn't said a word. Her face was thoughtful, and Danger wondered what was going through her mind…

Fucking embarrassing, that's what. I should have called the stupid AI BEFORE putting her in the car. I knew that there was no way I was going to make it through this night without royally fucking it up.

"Well," she laughed nervously. "Sorry about that. That's just a little… running joke between me and Jane."

"Danger," the matriarch started softly, not sure if she really wanted to start the night with such a question but somehow needing the answer. "Are you… romantically interested in Shepard?"

Did she just ask that? For real? Didn't we like, go over that once before? She must be insane. All this time, and she doesn't know that I want her? Really? Really?!

Danger shifted her position so she was still leaning in the rover, but facing the elder asari. "No Terra, I'm not. Don't you know that by now? I'm not at all interested in Jane…" She inflected the sentence just so, remembering the matriarch's declaration so long ago regarding the commando Yhamira. She also hoped beyond hope that giving her a nickname would set the asari's mind at ease. It was something Danger had been thinking about for a while, but was always so afraid to use.

The matriarch opened her mouth to forcefully correct Danger, but then hesitated and bit her lip. No… that was certainly different, but it sounded… less formal. More personal. Something almost whispered, in the dark, late at night, by her lover. By Danger. Danger, who didn't see her as an old political windbag with one foot in the grave. Danger, who wasn't interested in the young and beautiful human commander. Danger, who saw her as a companion, a friend, and a lifelong romantic partner. Danger, who wanted to touch her, to expose her, to shield her, and whisper that name in reverence… cry it out in passion… promise it aloud in love.

She decided that yes, she liked it. That was acceptable… but only from Danger. It wouldn't do to have the rest of the world start calling her… Terra.

She swallowed her response and inwardly grinned at the nervous look on the mercenary's face. Danger was clearly expecting a 'Terriana Storm' as the household workers liked to call it when they thought she wasn't listening. She gestured to the array of controls and said, "Shall we continue?"

Danger just grinned, slapped the top of the car and slammed the driver's side door shut. She nearly vaulted over the vehicle to the other side and got in beside the matriarch.

Hell yea! I totally got away with that!

"All right then, hit that button to start her up and use that lever to move her forward. Be careful, this car is super responsi.." Danger's last word was cut off as the matriarch manipulated the controls as instructed and the car took off speeding down the old road towards Danger's favorite hiding spot on the mountain. "Whoa! Slow it down there!" She slid over and reached for the controls, skillfully bringing the vehicle to a more manageable speed. She was also painfully aware of her proximity to the matriarch.

Yea well, this is what you get for listening to Jes. If you were driving one of the ones with the 'ridiculous stick' in the middle... Gah, why does she have to smell so fucking good?

Terriana glanced to her side, trying her best not to stiffen and potentially send the wrong signal. It wouldn't do to be too forward, but she didn't want to discourage Danger, either. It didn't matter in the end, though, because almost as soon as the car was back under control, Danger slid as far to the other side as she could.

"All right, now just keep it at around that speed and use those controls," Danger indicated the pad on the console to her left, "to manage the steering." It was here that Terriana saw her opportunity.

"These controls?" Terriana lightly touched the console in completely the wrong place and the car jerked dangerously to the left. She braced herself, but it had the desired effect. Danger had slid back over and was trying to get the car under control once more. Since the steering was so far to the left, Danger had to lean over the matriarch to reach the necessary part of the panel. Terriana grabbed the back of Danger's shirt with her free hand and the mercenary crushed against her as the car righted itself and continued down the road.

Danger started to pull away immediately, but this time the matriarch had a grip. "Maybe you should stay here," she suggested. "Remember, this is my first time driving." It wasn't entirely a lie… She'd never driven a sport rover before… And well… it felt good to be closer to her sworn protector, after all. There was nothing wrong with that.

"Sure. Right. Of course."

Oh, my GOD. This can't be happening. I better try to explain this better. I thought she knew how to drive…

"Ok, these controls are pretty touchy, so you have to be careful. Here, give me your hand." Danger reached across for the matriarch's left hand and placed it gently on the console, trying to ignore what the simple touch ignited in her core. "Now just keep steady along here, and you'll get used to it in no time." She grinned and looked at the matriarch, but Terriana's eyes were closed.

"Matriarch! Keep your eyes on the road!"

Terriana opened her eyes and jerked forward, knocking her head into Danger's, effectively pushing the mercenary into the console panel and causing the vehicle to speed dangerously.

This is a fucking disaster. Why didn't I go to Jes before deciding to do this?

"Shit, DIDI! Get your ass in here!"

"Accessing: Voice verification complete. I see you are having some trouble, Operative Danger. Would you like me to take control?"

"Yes, dammit, yes!" Danger pushed herself off the dashboard and slumped back next to Terriana as the AI took the helm and easily brought the vehicle back to a reasonable speed and put them back on course. "Just take us to that place where I had that wreck."

"Understood."

Danger looked at the ceiling and wanted so badly to just start laughing maniacally. She almost wished she did have a vid cam set up in here. Jane would have loved to have seen that – Darla nearly getting the matriarch killed on their first date.

Fuck.

"Matriarch, I'm sorry. This isn't quite how I envisioned this was going to go."

"Danger," Terriana started quietly as she timidly slipped her hand under the human's larger one, which was resting in a loop on the leg of her cargo style pants. "I thought we already went over you calling me 'Matriarch'…"

Danger closed her eyes. This can't be happening. She's just… It's a mistake, right? Accident, for sure. She just doesn't know my hand's there. Oh god, this isn't happening… All thought was driven from her mind, though, when Terriana slipped her fingers through Danger's and squeezed tightly. Shock waves rolled through the human and she swore that she was seeing stars. The electricity was blinding. Danger was losing control…

I can't look at her. I can't look at her right now. Damn it damn it DAMN IT!

"Danger?" Terriana hesitated. Maybe it was too soon. Or maybe… her face darkened… maybe she really had misread all this time. Danger was no more interested in her than she was in Rolus. The matriarch was a paycheck, and nothing more. She loosened her grip and pulled her hand away.

Oh no, why?

Danger twisted in her seat and turned to face the asari. "Terra, what is it?"

Terriana was looking out the side window, trying not to let her emotions show. This whole thing had been foolish. A foolish game to play, and the matriarch, the bitter old crone, had lost. She had lost it all, but she would never let it show.

"Terriana, please look at me." Danger reached out and brushed her hand across the matriarch's cheek. "Don't do this."

"I… can't look at you Danger." She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her torso, as if she could protect herself from the pain that was sure to come when Danger finally rejected her once and for all.

"I'm not going to let you shut down on me this time, Terra." Danger braced herself for whatever the retaliation would be, but this time she wasn't going to just go away quietly. She did that once, and the results were disastrous for them both. She'd been given a second chance, and she wasn't going to waste it.

Danger shifted her weight so she could lean on the back of the rover's seats and reached across to gently grip the matriarch's chin. She turned the elder asari's face so that the diplomat was forced to look into her eyes. She felt the beginnings of a biotic field, and though it felt much different, more ominous, more potent than normal biotics… and eerily like a biotic field she had felt only once before, she didn't care. Let it scorch her. Let the matriarch call forth her full power and rip Danger's flesh from her bones. It was better than burning alive in desire, never knowing if the fire could have been extinguished had she just been brave for one time in her entire life.

"I can't let you do this to us again, Terra. Not again." The matriarch's eyes were wild and wide as Danger moved her hand from the perfectly formed chin to grip the back of the asari's neck. Her eyes told it all. Danger let all her emotion, all the frustration and all her desire flow forth in that one look even as the black biotic field enveloped her, just before she pulled the matriarch toward her to seal both their fates with..

…

*thump*

…

"OUCH! Fuck you, DIDI. Just fuck you."

"I apologize for the abrupt halt, Operative Danger. We have arrived."

"So I noticed." Danger rubbed the back of her neck, which she was sure was whiplashed after DIDI's unexpected stop. "Was that REALLY necessary? I know I programmed you better than that."

"I'm sure I don't know what you are talking about, Operative Danger," DIDI replied in her monochromatically innocent voice.

"Right." Danger looked around. The black biotic field was dissipating, and Terriana was looking at her with an expression Danger couldn't quite read. She decided not to think on it too much. The moment was over, it had once again passed her by, and she might as well just… Fucking kill herself.

"Well, we're here."

Terriana looked outside, unsure what Danger was talking about. "Where?"

"Here. Jes packed us some dinner. I thought we could spend some time up here, and you know, look at like, the stars and stuff." Danger grumbled a little under her breath as she kicked the door to the rover open and walked around to the other side to let Terriana out.

The matriarch slowly stood up and took a split second to decide how to handle what had almost happened between them. Her disappointment was consuming her, and she wanted to make sure that Danger knew that. She needed to make sure that her bodyguard knew her effort wasn't going to go unnoticed… or… unwanted. She reached up and put a hand on the human's shoulder as she stepped out, leaning into her slightly before whispering in her ear, "I really wanted that too, Danger. Don't give up on us, and I promise that I won't either."

The human's breath caught in her throat and she didn't dare move. It was too surreal… And just as quickly as it was there… it was gone again. Terriana had left and was walking around, exploring the local area, completely oblivious to the human who had nearly melted into the ground. It was as if it had only happened in Darla's imagination.

Maybe it did.

"Well, let's see what the wonderful head chef sent." Danger closed the driver's side door and lifted Jes' box onto the hood of the rover. She started to unpack the care package and grinned at the contents. Jes certainly had set her up for a good night. Dinner was light, and there was a variety of Terriana's favorite Thessian wines. Danger picked one and wasted no time in cracking it open. "Hey Terra, it's your favorite!" she held up the bottle for the asari's inspection, and got a tight nod in return.

Danger poured the glasses and walked over to the matriarch. Handing her one, she nodded and smiled. "I'm not giving up, Terra. Not by a long shot. You don't ever have to worry about that."

Terriana took a step closer, oblivious to the glass Danger had given her but holding it out of sheer muscle memory. At that unexpected declaration, nothing existed but her human bodyguard, whom she hoped would soon transform into her lover. Nothing else existed for her, and at that moment, she felt that nothing else ever would. Her left hand, the hand that held that ridiculous glass, fell to the side, spilling the contents and dropping whatever it was that Danger had given her. She ignored the human's sharp intake of breath as her other hand made its way to her neck. The time for confusion was long over. They were alone here. Danger's arms were stealing around her waist. Her body was being pulled almost forcefully against her human soul mate… Here, it was just her and Danger. Just Terra, and … Darla. Just them. Just the twilight. Just the promise of the coming dawn, comfortable and content in her lover's embrace. Just a lifetime of secrets, finally shared with another, entrusted with another... surrendered to another. Just...

"Operative Danger?"

"Wow… DIDI, are you kidding me? No really, are you fucking KIDDING me?"

Danger pulled away, nearly activating her mild biotics in her anger. Not once but TWICE her AI had titblocked her from moving forward with Terriana. She shook her head, and the asari matriarch turned away, looking into the night.

"Operative Danger, I think you will want to see this."

"Fine." Danger threw herself in the driver's seat and crossed her arms. "Whatever. It better be fucking life and death. Do you hear me? Life. And. Fucking. Death. What is it, DIDI?"

"Here. Look."

Danger leaned forward as DIDI showed her the surveillance footage. "Shit…" she stared in a low voice. "Is this the same one we've been seeing shadowing the compound?"

"Affirmative, Operative Danger. I recommend 'Darla priority one Terriana' immediately."

"Agreed. Make it so. Damn it. What does she want with the matriarch? I thought Justicars only came back to the planet to get laid and shit."

"Unknown, Danger. I can access no records that relate to what she could want with the matriarch."

"Ok DIDI, I'm going out there, if for no other reason than to distract her. I'm trusting you to keep Terriana safe. If I'm not back in thirty, you are to take her to Jane. Do you understand me? If I don't come back in EXACTLY thirty minutes, take her DIRECTLY to Jane Shepard, or get destroyed trying. Jump to whatever vehicles and relays you have to, but get a message to Jane. Get the matriarch to Jane."

"I understand, Operative Danger. There is no need to repeat yourself."

Darla nodded and made to get out of the vehicle when a strange electric shock stopped her.

"Operative Danger?"

"Yea DIDI?"

"Thank you for my life and my freedom."

"Don't mention it, DIDI. Like… especially to the Alliance."

"I understand, Operative Danger."

The human mercenary fought her own heartbreak as she knew her time was at a close. Someone was after the matriarch, and it was finally someone who was good enough to slip past her constant vigilance. It was someone she knew there was no hope of beating. Finally, it was someone who DIDI needed to point out, someone who slipped in and out of shadows as if she was somehow stitched together from their very essence.

It was bound to happen. Just sucks it had to happen on our first date.

"Matriarch, I need you over here now."

Terriana hesitated a moment, and then acquiesced. Danger quickly overshadowed the slightly shorter asari frame and hustled her into the car. "I can't explain now, Terra. I need you to stay here and stay low. Can you do that?"

Was Danger kidding? Was this her way of getting out of the intimacy that was surely to end the night? She nodded absently, and looked at Danger in complete confusion.

She's so beautiful. How can I explain to her?

Danger brushed her hand across the magnificent woman's cheek and then leaned forward, replacing her scandalous fingers with her even more scandalous lips. "I'm coming back for you, Terra. I'll never let anyone hurt you. Not ever. You are my whole world. Remember that."

Danger stepped back and slammed the door shut.

"DIDI, Lock it down. You know what to do."

And with that, Darla "Danger" Vance turned from everything she had ever loved, and disappeared into the night.