Chapter 55: Virmire Part III

-Heavens, Halls of Obsidian

"How long to you plan to keep her in that wheel?"

"Oh, a few years at least. Long enough for her to grow up a little bit. She could stand to lose some weight as well. Your Champion leaving her behind on missions isn't helping her figure, you know."

Palladium leaned over the wall and looked down at a miserable Liara T'Soni, running in an asari-sized hamster wheel.

"Athame, that has got to be the least effective trial ever. And you can't keep her there for years… Don't you think my Champion will notice if she just doesn't wake up? She's nearly cleared the way for her ship to land and she is going to need your child when Trelyn's lizards bring her up to speed on what is going on. We can't afford this kind of distraction."

"Don't worry, I stopped time down there," she replied absently, changing the wheel into an escalator. "And don't think I haven't noticed Trelyn's abstention from this process. You and I will have to deal with her sooner or later."

He nodded, but the lizard-god's lack of interest in thwarting the machine-gods was the least of his worries right now.

"You stopped… Athame, you can't just… stop time. And that," he gestured to the asari who had fallen and was scrambling to try to get back up on the moving staircase, "isn't much better."

"Oh, very well." She waved her hand again and the escalator was a treadmill. "Why can't I stop time? Time was one of the elements granted to me to safeguard, you know."

"Well for one, the others are bound to notice and start asking questions we aren't ready to answer. Two, time may stop for our children but the machine-gods don't bow to us. They are still moving. Three, it's just… ridiculous!" Palladium was exasperated with her. She knew what was at stake, and her growing insanity that had started the moment the machine-gods made their reappearance would accelerate them all to destruction. He needed to get her refocused.

"Fine." Athame waved her topmost right hand and time resumed once again for mortals. She turned around and leaned against the wall for support, crossing all six of her arms. "Well, I'm open to suggestions, Palladium. She has to grow up and she has to do it soon. Preferably before your champion dips her toes into Sha'ira's waters again."

He shrugged. He had managed to shroud them from mortal prying eyes, but he wasn't surprised that Athame knew about it. "And you think that this," he gestured to the miserable asari trying desperately to keep up with the speed the insane goddess had set, "is the way to make it happen?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. I did say she gained some weight as well, you know."

He sighed and hung his head. His oldest and dearest friend was so unlike him. His trials were designed to forge his half of the souls into demi-gods that would rule over his future creations, creations he'd hoped to make with her and her asari as they worked through their pair bonds. Athame didn't have any 'trials'. She was much more relaxed than he when it came to her souls. She flitted about the planet she had chosen for her children, spreading her seed here and there and treating the entire process like a party. She gifted them with long life and beauty, and encouraged them to explore pleasure with one another. As a result, they often didn't mature until well into their midlife, which unfortunately for him was hundreds of years, and that was proving to be a serious problem for the youngest of her last living progeny. And for his Champion, who desperately needed a rock to put her back against.

"Athame," he started softly. "Putting her on exercise equipment isn't going to accelerate her maturity. It's just not going to work."

"Fine." She gestured sharply and the treadmill disappeared, leaving a very confused Liara T'Soni tripping over her feet on the ground. "Happy?"

"Yes."

"So what do you suggest? You keep reminding me that we are out of time but you offer no solutions to the problem."

"This whole thing is because she won't get her inner power until she's mated, right?"

"Yes. I wanted them to have normal lives at least until they were old enough to decide whether or not to pursue the gifts I gave them. After they've bonded, my gifts activate their full potential." Athame smiled to herself, thinking of her Ardat-Yakshi. There were so few of them left, having been hunted to near extinction by the others. The ones that did exist either were in captivity or hiding, unable to use their gifts. This time she had made adjustments to the formula, and what resided in Liara T'Soni would work better. The Ardats would die out and be replaced by a new breed of walking blessings… if she could just manage to keep the bloodline going…

"Then why don't you just visit her one night? You know, take the matter into your own hands?"

"Oh, don't be disgusting Palladium. She is not far enough removed. Besides, that might have… unpredictable… results. It wouldn't be a true bonding. She must be completely bonded, not just a meaningless roll in the dark with her goddess. Although," Athame contemplated, "She does look a little like her mother. I had considered visiting Benezia until Liari showed an interest in her…" Athame looked at the darkness surrounding them and shook her head. "No, it would not work, Palladium. That could be catastrophic to our cause."

"Yes, I suppose you're right. Then give her some sort of grand revelation. A vision. Something. Anything. Or even just talk to her."

"You go talk to her. She's right there."

He stared blankly at his long-time friend and crossed his arms. "Don't be ridiculous. It would just confuse her more if that's even possible after that." He gestured to the scene before them, which had turned into a six walled room. Mirrors adorned each of the walls and the floor was rubberized, ideal for exercise.

"You know that revealing ourselves like this is delicate as it is. Do you know she isn't even aware of her lineage?"

"Indeed?"

"Indeed," she replied dryly. "I should have seen it coming but Benezia was so... so strong. She was perfect for Liari. It seemed like such a perfect match. How could I have known she'd murder the child's father and then keep all knowledge from her? You know that normally I encourage a little bit of violence now and again to get the blood pumping but that was extreme."

"So then just tell her."

"Do you think I haven't considered it? But let me ask you this, if I revealed to her this knowledge, would she believe it? If she did, would she make the choices we want her to? I dare not explain to her. What if she believes herself to be like the Ardat-Yakshi and checks herself into one of those monasteries?" Athame nearly spit out the word and Palladium took a step back. The ardat-yakshi had been her most beloved of daughters, and they were persecuted wherever they went because the gifts they had were just too… strong. She didn't often talk about the subject, as over time more and more of that bloodline had died out and she occupied herself with her newest brood, but the edge in her voice was still there when she did. Athame closed her eyes and waved her uppermost hands, dismissing the idea. "No. I won't tell her and risk her deciding never to activate her gifts."

"Fine. So in the end, you will do nothing."

Athame turned again and leaned over the wall next to him. "I guess I don't have much of a choice."

"What about her?" He gestured to the asari, who was sitting on the ground looking terrified and confused.

"What about her? I rather like how quiet she is being. It wouldn't kill her to pick up some of those weights, either…"

"I mean, my Champion has reached Trelyn's children. She needs your daughter."

"Oh, very well." Athame reached down and flicked the asari. A very frightened Liara T'Soni flew off into the horizon. "There. She will wake up in a few minutes."

He nodded and wrapped an arm around her. "It's going to be fine, Athame. We'll figure this out, somehow."

"I hope you're right." Just then, movement far below on the asari homeworld caught her attention.

Oh for the love of… What is my meddling High Seat doing now?

"Palladium, I must retire. I will see you tomorrow." She lifted herself into the sky and disappeared, leaving the platinum god standing alone, and curious, in her courtyard.

Normandy, Med Bay Storage Areas

Doctor Liara T'Soni opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. She was back on the Normandy. She was on the small cot that was laid out for her so she wouldn't have to use the common room sleeper pods. She was back home again.

It was just a dream. It was just a bad dream… or maybe… it was not. I wonder if…

She scrunched her face up and came to a revelation.

I had no right to judge Jane.

Liara sat up and groaned. Her skin felt like it had been hammered flat and her joints felt like they were stitched together with barbed wire. She activated her biotics to help her stand, and she stretched her hands to the ceiling.

I never imagined that she was so beautiful… and so terrible. The stories… they really do not explain fully.

The asari sat back down on the cot and looked around the room. She felt like all her senses were heightened. She could hear everything; see every imperfection in the smooth steel that adorned the walls. She was more aware of everything, especially her own mind and… body.

I wonder if this happens to everyone she visits? It is funny; I did not believe my mother when she told me stories of Athame, but now… Now I am not so sure. What was it the goddess had said? 'You are a direct descendant of my line'. What did she mean by that? Are we not all children of Athame? We are all asari, anyway. And why did she put me on those…

Liara shuddered at the memory. It hadn't been frightening, precisely, but it was certainly confusing.

It is too bad she did not visit me for the purposes told in most of the stories. Liara couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. Maybe if she had, I would know better what to do with Jane.

Liara closed her eyes and thought about the image of the dark goddess again. She had seemed to fill the room with night, but the darkness was light in its own strange way. She was tall and as shadowy as the midnight sky, beautiful and terrible as the twilight, icy and arctic as the winter dawn. Liara felt that she would surrender herself in an instant and offer up her body and very soul if the goddess had asked it of her.

But the goddess did not ask it of me… I do not see what she could have possibly meant by that statement, 'you are a direct descendant of my line'. Unless…

Her eyes shot open and she leaned forward, looking for something but not quite seeing what it was.

What if… What if the reason Benezia never told me about my father is… No.

She shook her head violently.

No.

More forcefully.

It is just not possible.

She clamped down her jaw and gripped the edge of the cot until her light blue knuckles were almost white. A biotic field activated, and the room darkened with her anger. She lost all sense of time as she reviewed every memory of her mother, the former spiritual leader Benezia T'Soni. She went over every single one in earnest, looking for any sign, any clue, anything at all that would support this new theory about her lineage. As a child she had all sorts of fantasies about who her father might be, but never had she considered it might be the dark goddess herself. It seemed like an age passed during her distraction, but she did not care. This was important almost beyond comprehension, and there was something just on the edge of her understanding that would finally fill in that missing link and clear the way for her to break the standoff with Jane.

Just as she felt she was getting close, the familiar chirp of the Normandy's comm system sounded and the pilot's jovial voice came booming over the speaker.

"Hey Liara?"

The biotic field dissipated and Liara calmed. She needed more time to examine the dream and her memories. Time is your gift, but it is also your curse, both bestowed upon your race ages ago. The words came to her once again, and she remembered sitting in this very room, struggling with herself after a very painful separation from the commander. She closed her eyes and mastered herself.

I have to talk about this with Jane. Perhaps it is time we both were completely honest with one another. When this mission is done, I will meld to her and show her my vision, and will demand to see hers. She must show me hers! I need her to help me figure all of this out. I need her.

She whispered, "I need her…"

"Pardon?"

She had forgotten about Joker. She shook her head a little to clear it.

"Yes, I am sorry. Do you need something, Joker?"

"We've touched down. The commander wants everyone on the ground asap."

"Thank you. Tell her I am on my way."

"You got it, Liara."

She wasted no time in grabbing her small weapons and rushing out the door.

-Salarian Base Camp, Debriefing

Commander Jane Shepard's face was grim as the salarian captain brought her up to speed on the situation. They'd somehow managed to not only find Saren's base of operations, but also alert the rogue spectre that he was being raided and every aa tower within ten miles knew they were there. Saren had also found a 'cure' for the genophage, and he planned on using a krogan army to wipe out the rest of the races. Things were going from bad to worse, and fast.

She nodded throughout his update, keeping her face expressionless, and then turned to her unofficial second in command.

"What do you think, Ash?"

"Wow… I think that we're all in trouble. I think that the council is hiding something. And I also think that Wrex is about to blow his top." She thumbed over her shoulder at the smoldering krogan standing by himself near the water.

"You think I should talk to him?"

"Probably. This can't be easy for him."

"Right. I'll go take care of that. You and Kaiden find out what you can about this compound. Schematics, diagrams, I'll even accept crayon drawings. Anything that gives us the layout. Have Liara pull anything and everything she can from the Alliance records."

"Yes, commander. Are you going to talk to her?"

"Um, I'll just go get started," Kaidan said, saluting and heading toward Tali.

Both women watched him go before turning back to one another. "Yea, I'll let her know about the roster change. I won't jeopardize the mission any further."

"That's good, but it's not really what I was getting at you know."

Jane nodded. "I know, Ash. I'm going to talk to her. Don't worry. You were right back there at the checkpoint. Not taking her along has been just as distracting, but in a seriously negative way. I'll talk to her.

"Good."

"Go find whatever you can. And you should probably take your own advice, while you're at it."

"Commander?"

Jane inclined her head toward Kaidan, who was pointing to something on Tali's omni tool and gesturing at the Normandy. Jane thought she caught him say something about Liara. "I'm talking about you and him. I haven't been so completely wrapped up in myself that I didn't notice what's going on there."

Ashley sighed. "Well, that's complicated."

"Uncomplicate it."

"That's not even a word, skipper."

"I'm the commanding officer and that means I can make words up."

"Oh? Is that in the Alliance Field Manual?"

"Yea, it's right there under 'don't drink your own pee'."

Ashley laughed and Jane's face broke into a grin. "Seriously though, the two of you just seem to fit so well together. Maybe when all of this is over you guys can hit the Citadel up with me and Liara. Like a double date. It'll be fun."

Ashley crossed her arms and the laughter left her face. "Yea, when this is all over we'll all probably be reassigned."

Jane's chest constricted at the thought, but something occurred to her. "Maybe, but I'm a spectre now, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep this crew together." She glanced at Wrex, who was shooting at the water. "All of us."

Ashley nodded. "I believe you, Commander." She gestured to Wrex. "You'd better go see if you can diffuse that."

"Right. I'm going to try to talk him down, but standby just in case. We can't risk him sabotaging the mission, no matter how much we might sympathize with him. Be ready."

"I'm always ready, commander. I've got your back."

Jane clapped her unofficial second in command on the shoulder and walked off toward the angry krogan.

-Salarian Base Camp, preparation

"I need you to pull anything you can find on this compound, this planet, hell this whole star system." Kaidan had found Liara and was filling her in on what was going on.

"Yes, Lieutenant. I understand. Is this really Saren's base of operations?"

Kaidan crossed his arms and nodded. "It looks that way. Look, here comes Ash. She might have additional information." He moved to the side to allow the gunnery chief to take up a position at his side. "Chief."

"Lieutenant." Ashley smiled at Kaidan and then looked at Liara.

"Do you think you can get the data?"

"I can try. Is everything ok over there?" Liara pointed to the commander who seemed to be in a heated conversation with their krogan crewmate.

"That's delicate. Did Kaidan tell you what Saren's doing in there?"

Liara nodded, "yes, they have apparently found a cure for the genophage."

"Hrmph, yea well Saren's idea of a cure and ours are probably two different things." Kaidan said.

Ashley looked at him, then back at Liara. "Wrex doesn't want the place destroyed."

"I can understand where he is coming from," Liara started, holding her breath as she saw Wrex draw his weapon and train it on Jane's forehead. "Chief Williams…"

"I see it." The chief replied grimly, her hand hovering over her own weapon. "Give the commander a moment to calm him down." Slowly, so that the krogan wouldn't notice her, she drew her pistol and pointed it at the back of his head. All three of them held their breath for what seemed like an eternity, just watching Wrex and Shepard square off.

Jane was the first to lower her weapon, and the three of them visibly relaxed when Wrex lowered his as well.

"That was close," Ashley said as she attached her pistol back to her armor. "The last thing we need is to start shooting each other in the back."

"Here comes the commander," Kaidan said, stepping back to make room.

"Actually, Lieutenant, I was wondering if you could help me with something… over here." Ashley grabbed Kaidan's arm and led him away, leaving Liara alone to talk to Jane. The young asari doctor smiled as the commander walked up and stopped just in front of her.

"Your ability to calm the krogan is impressive."

"Liara." Jane crossed her arms, thinking about how to approach this. She didn't want to turn on 'commander mode', but couldn't forget that they were just outside of Saren's base of operations. "Do you think you will be able to find anything on this?" She gestured to the compound.

"Possibly. I will consult with the salarians and see what intelligence they have and match it up to whatever the Alliance has. I will do my best, but it may not be easy. They are covert operatives and the council did keep this operation from us."

"I know you will do what you can. I trust you, Liara." Jane studied the asari's face, and just couldn't bring herself to make the roster change. She couldn't knowingly put Liara in danger, and she couldn't ask any more of the young scientist than she already had. Ash was wrong. Everyone was wrong. Jane had to do this alone.

"Give whatever you can compile to Williams and then report back to the Normandy. You are not to leave the ship."

"I…" Liara began, not sure what to take away from that statement. Jane's eyes were soft, but her stance and expression belied that tenderness. She recognized 'commander mode', but also saw something deeper. She saw fear, and disappointment, and something else that didn't seem to suit the beautiful young human: denial. Liara shook her head and crossed her arms, challenging the commander.

"Why are you doing this, Jane?"

Jane considered for a moment, and then decided on a reply. "Because this is what I do, Liara. This is why I am here. I lead a dangerous life, and I can't change that now, as much as I might want give the universe the finger and go my own way. I have to destroy this research and I need you safe on the Normandy while I do it."

"That is not what I mean and you know it. Besides that, you do not have to protect me. I was a powerful biotic before we met you know. I didn't just activate this yesterday." She ignited the black fire that burned in her soul and darkened the area around them to illustrate her point, raising her arms and lifting Jane slightly in the air.

"Liara, I didn't mean that. I meant,"

"I know what you meant." She let the commander drift back to the ground and deactivated her biotics. "I have grown a bit too, Jane. We are all in this together, and you and I both need to get past whatever it is that is holding us back. I am coming with you, and that is final."

"Liara.."

"Final, Jane. You cannot go in there with Williams and Tali. You need a biotic and I am the best you have. You need me."

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"Jane, did it ever occur to you that I do not want you hurt, either? Did it ever occur to you that it kills me to sit in that storage room, not knowing if you are alive or dead? Not knowing if you need me? Not knowing if you are lying in a pool of blood, calling for me and I cannot get to you? We are stronger together than apart, and it took much too much sacrifice for me to see that. We have wasted too much time. I made a mistake sending you away, and I will regret it forever. I do not want to repeat that mistake."

Jane looked down at Liara, and saw the beginnings of tears in her eyes. So much hurt, and we've only just begun. There's been so much hurt already. How can we overcome it?

Jane just stood there and turned it over in her mind. No matter what angle she looked at it from, the asari was right. They were definitely stronger together than apart, and Jane was actually kind of grateful the young doctor forced the confrontation. It meant she cared, and that there was still a chance to fix all of it. They might just get out of this alive after all, and Jane let herself smile just a little at the thought of her retirement from the Alliance, when she and Liara would hole up on some uncharted planet and happily spend their days and nights far from Conduits and Genophages and… just all of this.

She nodded once, and Liara visibly relaxed. "You're right, of course. I don't know what I was thinking. You know, when you first came on board, I wanted you with me all the time. I put you on every away mission because of exactly what you just said. I knew that we were stronger together than apart, and the best way to keep you safe was to keep you with me. Then, things started to change and I got really confused. You were sending me a lot of mixed signals, Liara, and I didn't know how to handle it. There's a lot going on, and all I ever wanted from you was understanding and support. I started leaving you behind because it hurt too much to have you with me."

"I know that, Jane." Liara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I have not been there for you and you deserve…"

"Don't," Jane interrupted. "We're not having that conversation again. In fact, this isn't really the place to be having a conversation about this at all. We don't have time right now. Can we take a raincheck on this one?"

Liara nodded and took a step back. "Of course, Commander."

"Oh no you don't," Jane said as she reached for Liara and pulled the asari close to her. She buried her face in the woman's neck as she felt arms wrap around her torso. "When it's just us, I'm just Jane to you. I'm going to have to talk to the salarian captain in a minute. Just let it be us for that minute."

Liara smiled and closed her eyes. The moment would be over in a heartbeat and they would be back on their way into the unknown, but right here, right now, she could feel how much Jane needed her… and it felt good.

A/N - the next updates may be some time. I need to take my CCNA on Tuesday and finish the second half of the Virmire mission, but I hope to get all of our heroes into big, big adventures and maybe into a little more intimacy in the next few chapters. We're nearing the end of part I of this work, and I wanted to thank all of you who are taking this journey with me.