Chapter 57: Queries by twilight

Normandy, Comm room

Vindication.

It was an unusual feeling, and one that the young commander had only felt a few times before in her short life. It is the feeling one gets when things finally fall into place; that insecure moment in between revelation and resignation. The rest of the galaxy didn't have a choice now. It was follow Jane Shepard or cease to exist. It was all so simple, now.

Capitulation.

Ah, it would feel so right when she stood before the council, and they thanked her for her hard work in taking down Saren and offered her command of the fleet that was to bring him in. Their surrender, that final bittersweet acquiesce; it would be sweet beyond measure. She would graciously accept the honor, and lead the allied forces to victory. She would set aside her suspicions and her concerns, and delight in the fact that in the end, all of them had to accept her truths and act, lest they be forgotten in the lonesome chronicles of time.

Condemnation.

Ah, but this was the one she was struggling with the most. If she had held any illusions about her strength being enough to see all of her companions through to the end before, those were all gone now. What had started out playful and intriguing turned dark and foreboding in an instant. She felt guilt, immense guilt over treating the mission so flippantly and using it as a springboard for her own personal life. Maybe if she hadn't hesitated that one tick when she had pressed Liara against the wall. Maybe if she hadn't stolen those few moments at the weapons locker, gazing into the asari's eyes. Maybe if she hadn't…

'Enough.'

The word came to her unbidden, uninvited. Jane shivered. She knew the voice well, at this point, but it still unnerved her. He was there. He was with her. He was listening to her internal dialogue, her pathetic attempt to convince herself that all the decisions she had made up until this point were the right ones. He was watching her, as she stared vacantly into the ambient led of the console panel across from her, trying to piece together the map in her mind that would have led all of them to victory with no one left behind. He was present with her, in an almost companionable silence as she tried vainly to justify all that had happened down there on the planet and find some small comfort in the knowledge that at least, the mission had been accomplished. He was there with her and… he was cutting her pity party short.

Commander Jane Shepard stared unseeing at the now empty comm room, voices almost haunting her as she sorted through her jumbled mind. Images bombarded her as she tried to categorize them, this one a stolen moment with Liara, that one a skillful shot to the back of a krogan's head, those other ones something that was literally straight out of her nightmares. They swirled and danced in front of her vision not unlike the time she had joined with Sha'ira to learn Liara's origins. She grasped for them time and again, and time and again, they slipped away from her.

"Jane?"

If the commander was startled, she didn't show it. Her eyes remained focused on a point just beyond the hull of the ship, out there where her destiny lay. Out there, the black arms of time's passing reached for her and welcome her into their embrace. Out there, somewhere in the murky dimness, a lover awaited, longing to bring her and her host of death home to the bountiful feast of flesh and bone. Out there…

'Enough.'

It wasn't a request. Jane closed her eyes and nodded, more to herself than to anything, an acknowledgement from within. When she opened them, Liara was kneeling in front of her, as she had so many months ago when they first started their awkward and inconvenient romance.

"Hey, Liara."

Liara leaned forward on her thighs and studied the human's face for a few moments, taking in the drawn features and haggard appearance. Her energy was clearly depleted, and the commander looked exhausted. Despite that, the asari took some small comfort in the fact that Jane didn't even try to put on her soldier face. That mask was for the others, not for her. Jane was here, not Commander Shepard. And Jane needed her.

"Are you ok?"

Good question, Liara. I wish I had an answer.

"I'm fine."

Liara nodded. It was a lie and she knew it, but she didn't push the matter. Instead, she stood and offered her hand. Jane looked up and her and smiled weakly before taking it and allowing the asari to lead her to the medical bay storage area. She walked as if in a trance, just putting one foot in front of the other as she had in the platinum dreams. One foot in front of the other was all she could manage, and each step she took sapped just a little bit more of her strength and gnawed a little bit more of her soul.

When they reached the storage area, Liara led her over to the small cot and Jane sat down. She scooted up so her back was against the wall and she felt the asari lift her left arm and deposit it around her shoulder. She felt Liara's head rest against her chest and she closed her eyes, letting the day's stress wash away from her. At least she had this. She threaded the fingers of her right hand through Liara's and gazed almost in bewilderment at the sight of the intertwining, so different and so similar in so many ways.

She thought she heard music; a soft, melancholy tune playing, perhaps it was in her head. Perhaps Pressly put it on to soothe the crew and remind them of what they fought and died for. Perhaps Kaidan was reaching from beyond the grave to comfort them.

Kaidan.

Lieutenant Alenko.

They had lost Kaidan. Oh Jane didn't regret her decision and if she had it to do over again, she would do things exactly the same way, but that didn't make it any easier. It didn't matter that Ashley Williams was simply the more valuable soldier. Jane was having a hard time seeing things in black and white these days. She rested her head on Liara's and felt the asari clutch her closer. It was comforting. They stayed like that for Jane didn't know how many hours, just enjoying companionable silence. Just enjoying each other's company. Just… existing together.

After a time, the silence was broken.

"Do all humans turn silver when they fight?"

The question took Jane by surprise. She didn't know how to answer it. What could she say? Should she lie? Should she brush it off? Play dumb? No, this was Liara. She would see through any lie and Jane didn't want to lose this closeness, this intimacy. She didn't want to run from the answer.

"I don't think so, Liara."

She felt the asari nod against her chest. It was almost as if that was the answer she had expected. They fell back into companionable silence, and Jane absently ran her hand up and down Liara's arm.

"How are you feeling? How is your head?" she asked, referring to their most recent meld, which revealed the final piece of what Saren sought.

"I am fine, Jane. The joining is getting less taxing. Perhaps we are becoming used to one another."

"Maybe. How is everyone else holding up?"

Liara shrugged. "They are all sad about Lt. Alenko. Tali seems to have an upset stomach. Dr. Chakwas has given her something for it. Chief Williams has herself surrounded by weapons down in the garages. Garrus is trying to raise DIDI in the Mako. Wrex has not said a word to anyone."

Jane nodded absently, and hoped that Tali wasn't too sick. It was probably the soup Danger had left in the Mako – a strange concoction made by a joint turian and human effort to enhance the nutrient content for operatives who spent great lengths of time in the field. There must have been a human ingredient that didn't settle well with the quarian's sensitive system.

"Do you think we'll see Rana again?"

"I do not know, Jane. Maybe."

Shepard paused a moment, unsure if she wanted to voice her concerns. Never before had she questioned her own decisions, but lately… Lately things seemed to be more than a little out of her comfort zone. The past and the present seemed to be adding up to a rather uncertain future, and Jane's choices up until now were the catalyst. In the end, she spoke her thoughts. If she couldn't confide in Liara, she had nothing left.

"Do you think I should have killed her?"

Several moments pass. Liara wasn't really certain. Months ago, when she had first joined the mission she would have immediately said 'no'. Things were so black and white then. Life was precious and important, and there were no blurred lines at all. But now? Now, she had seen firsthand what the effects of indoctrination were. Her mother was proof of its strength. If Matriarch Benezia, the most powerful asari mentalist she had ever known could be controlled, what hope did a lowly scientist like Rana Thanoptis have?

"I do not know."

Silence descended once more. Jane sat there and thought about all of the things that had happened. It had been a ridiculously long day, and it was shaping up to be a pretty long night as well, filled with bitterness and regrets. Even Liara was starting to lose her innocence and optimism, the things that Jane loved most about her. Everyone had counted on their commander to make the decisions that would bring them back home safely and keep their morality intact. Everyone relied upon her leadership to see them through the darkness, even when all hope seemed to be lost. Everyone had kept faith in her, believing her to be some sort of untouchable demigod, and she had failed. She had failed them all. She had…

'ENOUGH.'

Jane fidgeted, disturbing her asari companion and causing the creature to release her hand and twist so she was on her back, gazing up at her. "Are you sure you are ok?" Liara looked up into her eyes with considerable fondness, and Jane felt her barriers breaking down, felt herself drowning in those cool blue pools windowing the young scientist's soul.

'Tell her.'

It's too hard. She's so… She's losing her innocence you know.

'Tell her.'

Jane brushed her fingers over the crest of Liara's head. It was such a unique feeling, at the same time soft and strong. It wasn't anything like running her fingers through a woman's hair, she decided, but found herself smiling at the fact that it didn't bother her in the least. Up close like this, she was afforded time to truly gaze at the woman lying in her lap. She let her eyes wander over the perfectly formed forehead, to the tips of the tentacle-like structures that seemed almost as a crown, to the skin at the base of her neck that appeared to deepen in color the further back it went. She reached out to take Liara's hand, and to her surprise the asari took it in both of hers and held it close to her chest. Jane could feel the pulse beneath it, beating a soft melody that soothed her soul.

I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her.

'Tell her.'

I love her, you know.

'And that is why you must tell her.'

Jane closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It hadn't occurred to her before how very… alone she was in all of this. Her best friend was on Thessia and beyond her reach, she had never known her parents at all, and she had no siblings that she knew of. Liara was the closest thing she had to any family, and they were mostly just good friends. She opened her eyes and looked down at the asari in her lap, searching, hoping. Liara steadily returned her gaze, and Jane felt that maybe the voice was right. Maybe, it was time after all.

"No, I guess I'm not ok, Liara. Today was… pretty bad."

"Yes…" Liara whispered; an absent reply, a quiet agreement. She didn't feel there was much more she could say. Jane's internal struggle was understandable, and Liara had been a willing participant. The two of them had flirted their way to Saren's lab, conveniently forgetting that they were on a dangerous mission and instead appropriating every opportunity they had to make Tali uncomfortable. It had become a game, and it wasn't until they were literally face to face with the VI representation of an actual Reaper that they sobered up and remembered what they were there for. After that, things had just spiraled out of control. Saren attacked them. Jane tried to talk him down. Ashley got overwhelmed. Kaidan took a large piece of shrapnel to the leg and was immobilized. They were rushing up the tower to help the chief. The Normandy was picking them up. Kaidan's voice was heard over the secure channel attempting to absolve the commander of any guilt… and then all was strangely silent as they filed into the comm room for the usual debriefing.

They hadn't all made it out alive, for the first time since starting this journey together. And it hurt.

A message was sent to the council. Normandy was called back to the Citadel. Time seemed to stand still and leave them all breathless and misplaced and… forsaken.

And now, she was here with Jane, knowing that she had to share the human's burdens but not really knowing… how. How many times had she been right here in this very place? How many times had she looked toward the human commander, seeing the struggle clearly visible on her face and done nothing? How many times had Jane reached out to her, seeking comfort, assistance, hope, only to be turned away because Liara was too scared to face the darker aspects of their union?

No more. It is now or never, Liara.

Liara closed her eyes and reached out into the void, looking for Jane and offering her comfort. Only seconds passed, and she felt the human's mind link up with hers. A wave of relief washed over her though the link, telling her that she had made the right choice. This was just what Jane needed from her, and maybe, it was just what she needed from Jane as well.

Visions

"I am here, Jane, though, I do know really know where 'here' is."

Jane Shepard stood just a few feet away, staring into the distance, at something that Liara couldn't really make sense of. She heard sounds, strangely metallic melodies that filled her senses with longing, with joy, and with dread, all at once. She saw light, but it wasn't bright like sunlight, nor was it soft like twilight. It was modest, and it was decadent, and it just… was.

"This is what I see when I dream, Liara."

Liara moved to stand beside Jane and gaze at the planet in the distance, a strange thing with dancing swords circling it.

"Every time?"

Jane glanced at the asari. "Well no, not every time. But sometimes when you ask me what I am thinking about, this is it. This place. The things that... that He made me do in this place."

"He?"

"I… Well I don't really know. I meant to take us to see Dr. Warren but we never had time…"

"Who is that?"

"Well she is just someone who might know about these sorts of things. I met her on Eden Prime, just before I came to find you. So many other things happened and I just lost track of things I wanted to do I guess."

"What is this place, Jane?"

Jane thought for a moment, and looked around. Her memory had started out barren, just a lonely path leading toward the planet with the singing swords, much like the very first dream that had brought her here. As she turned her head and surveyed the expanse in front of them, things took on a different shape, the air warped and the ground receded. All of the trials she had been through slowly started to appear, and she closed her eyes, not wanting to see Liara's reaction when the stone slabs covered in blood rose out of the ground.

"I think it's heaven." She opened her eyes. "And I think it's hell. And I think that there is a force at work here that makes me blur the lines between the two."

Jane looked down as Liara threaded their fingers together. "It is beautiful here, Jane. It is beautiful in a quiet and lonely way. It reminds me so much of you."

"I don't understand what you mean."

"When I see you fight, you transform. You do not look like yourself. You look like… This." She gestured to the scene before her with her free hand. "You look like all of this. And all of this looks like you. It is bright and shining and devoid of color. It is silver and arctic and the edges are so sharp. It is frightening and comforting and just so familiar. What is on that planet?" She pointed in the distance at the swords that were lazily circling each other, occasionally clinking together.

"His throne."

Liara nodded. "You have seen it?"

"Yes. I have seen it. He put me on it, once."

"Do you know why?"

"No."

They lapsed into silence once more, and Jane allowed herself to be pulled along as Liara's curious nature got the better of her. They walked quietly for a time, the asari just gazing around her at all of the things that Jane's memory had called forth. Here was a bridge that still bore the mark of her passing. Blood and flesh that had been seared from her forearms as she inched her way forward adorned the silver ground leading up to it, and the mercury it led over swirled with the tempest of her passing, even now. Further down the path was a canopy that had been neatly sliced, providing an oddly placed backdrop with a window to the stars, next to a mountain that had been torn asunder and left to crumble.

Liara continued to lead them along the path, and after a time they passed through a sort of tunnel. As the curious asari gripped along the wall her hands caught on something metallic. She stopped, and pulled at the object but it would not budge.

"Jane, what is this?"

Shepard came up behind her, set a hand on the item and gently pulled it from the wall. "It's something that helped me complete this trial. This tunnel was in that planet, and I had to dig my way out of it. It was… unnerving." She handed the small object to the asari and Liara turned it over and over in her hands.

"Jane, my mother gave me a shovel exactly like this. Have you been looking through my things?"

Jane shook her head. "Of course not, Liara. I have no idea where that came from. It was just… here when I needed it the most."

Liara was silent for a time, contemplating. She believed Jane, of course. She didn't think Jane was the type to snoop nor had she ever noticed any of her things being disturbed, but it was still… odd.

"My mother gave me a silver shovel. She never told me why. She just packed it in my things when I left home."

Jane took the object from Liara and stuck it forcefully back into the wall. "You told me about that once before. Have you ever looked into its origins?"

The asari shook her head. "No. I always thought it was my mother's way of accepting my chosen profession, but I am not so sure now. It is an artifact from thousands of years ago and it is made of some sort of silver alloy, but I cannot pinpoint the exact composition. It feels… focused when I touch it. I do not know how to describe it."

"Maybe you can show it to me later."

"Yes. I will show it to you later." The asari nodded enthusiastically, surprised the idea hadn't occurred to her sooner.

Liara resumed her walk and felt her way along the tunnel until it dropped off, leaving them back on the path heading toward the throne.

"Hmmm…"

"What is it, Jane?"

Jane had turned around and was looking at all the trials they had so far passed. "I was just thinking that it was odd that this trial was in the order it was. I wonder if there was any significance to that, or if maybe he just… messed up the timeline when he put me through them."

"I do not understand."

Jane gestured to the tunnel. "Well that tunnel was actually on that planet." She turned and pointed toward the planet with the dancing swords. "When I completed it, I fell out."

"You fell out?"

Jane nodded. "Yea, I fell out. It was a little scary. But, what's odd is that I ended up back down here again. I hadn't thought about it until now, with all the trials laid before me." She shrugged and pointed down the path. "Well, I don't know. This is way above my pay grade. Do you want to continue?"

Liara nodded. "Yes, Jane. I want to see the rest." She started moving along again down the path, the commander following behind her. "What is that?" she gestured to a fountain, that had faint specks of blood on the ground around it.

"He made me drink from that. It tore me from the inside out."

Liara looked at Jane in horror. "Why… why did you never tell me what these dreams were about?"

"I didn't want to burden you with all of…" she gestured widely, trying to encompass everything. "This."

Liara looked into the commander's eyes and felt a stab of remorse. All this time, Jane was being crushed by her own mind, and all this time, Liara had just brushed it off as if it was nothing. It wasn't 'nothing', and as the asari looked around at the trials she felt something eerily familiar to her own… encounter. It was similar to Athame's kingdom, but so very different at the same time. How had Jane described it? Heaven, Hell, and a blurred, almost indistinguishable line between the two? That's exactly what Athame's throne room had been like. Reassuring and comforting at the same time, but with danger just bubbling beneath the surface and a thinly veiled threat on top of it all.

"I wish you had, Jane." She took the commander's hand again and started making her way toward a courtyard.

"Liara?"

"Yes?" Jane had stopped, pulling the asari with her.

"I don't think you should see that one."

Liara searched the human's eyes, and searched her own mind for any clue as to why she was so reluctant about this trial. She looked back toward the courtyard, and thought she could make out the faint outline of metal slabs. After a few moments, she nodded her head. "Jane… you told me about a dream once, when I sent you away. You told me you had to kill some of us in it. Is that, that dream?"

Jane nodded slowly. "I don't know if I want you to see it, Liara."

Liara came to stand in front of the human and took both hands in her own. She breathed deeply, and closed her eyes, listening to the strange melody from far away, strengthening her resolve. "Jane, I think that it is time we both stopped running. I want to face the things you face, and I want to be the one you run to when you become overwhelmed. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I sent you to the consort. I should have been stronger, and I should have been able to stand beside you then. I cannot change what I did, but I can stand with you now." She let go of the commander's hands, turned and started to walk toward the courtyard.

Jane didn't move, just watched the asari as she made her way through the gateway to the metal slabs. Those words were easy to say, but much harder to follow through on. When Liara was face to face with what she'd had to do to them… to her… she might change her mind. So Jane just waited, and watched as Liara walked around the courtyard, in the same order that she had done in her trial so many moons ago.

The asari brushed her hand along the quarian girl's mask first, a softness gracing her features, activating her maternal instincts. It wasn't unlike what Jane had felt when she had stood there, with that horrible rusty sword poised just above the child's heart. After a moment, Liara moved on to the chief's pedestal. She touched Ashley's hand and nodded quietly to the dead soldier, reflecting on the extra help the chief had provided her during their training exercises and the secrets that had never been revealed about the day she destroyed a cargo bay. A few beats passed, and she moved on to Kaidan's slab, pain contorting her features. Kaidan was actually dead, not just metaphorically dead in one of Jane's nightmares. Jane watched as Liara leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on the man's forehead before turning away and walking to the other side of the courtyard.

"I'm so sorry, Lt. Alenko."

When Liara reached the other side, she looked quizzically at Wrex. The krogan had a sort of smile on his face and looked almost peaceful. She gently touched one wound, then another, and then brushed her fingers along his face. He had died a good death, at the hands of a warrior he respected. He would have been happy with this. She turned and moved on to Garrus, that unusual C-Sec officer and unofficial mechanic that confided in her one night that he had grown fond of a certain quarian machinist. She felt sorriest for him, and wondered if this was more than just a dream. Perhaps it was an alternate reality, or another dimension, and somehow Jane's actions had destroyed his one chance at romance. Perhaps Jane had destroyed all their chances in this deserted land.

Finally, and with a heavy heart, she approached the final slab, the slab that held her own body.

"Jane…"

"I'm here."

At some point the commander had moved behind her. The asari glanced over her shoulder, and then back at her own body lying there, a sword piercing her heart. This slab seemed to be messiest, blood spattered over her clothing and everywhere along the cold steel. The sword was still sticking out of her chest, and it was stained red all the way up to the hilt.

"What happened here, Jane?" Liara slowly walked around the metal slab, looking at it from every angle.

"This was the hardest, Liara. He wanted to know if when the time came, I could make the choice. The things that he showed me… The things I knew would happen if I couldn't…"

"Why is there… why is there so much blood here."

In response, Jane held out her hand, which was suddenly cut to the bone and bleeding. She advanced, and wrapped it around the blade as she had in the trial, and she placed her other hand on the Liara replica's head.

"Because I couldn't let you go, Liara. I wanted to go with you." She blinked back tears as she stared at the asari's lifeless eyes. "I wanted to go with you, and I couldn't let all my friends die… couldn't let you die, and suffer no injury myself." She gripped the sword more tightly, and the blood flowed freely over the lifeless body and into the ground. "I couldn't let you go…"

"Jane, stop this." Liara reached for the commander's hand and gently took it off of the sword. She turned the human toward her and held her as they both sank to the ground, sitting in the pool of blood.

"This is why I didn't want to burden you with all of this, Liara. This is way more than you bargained for, I'm sure."

Liara just held the human against her chest, holding that bleeding hand closed and rocking her back and forth. "No Jane, it is not. I am here for you. I could not be then, but I can be now. Now I understand what burdens you bear."

Jane closed her eyes and nodded, not entirely believing but not wanting to ruin the moment, either. She just wanted to accept this comfort, and keep this memory for all time. She sensed the blood flowing through her closed hand, over the asari's and onto the ground below them. Dark red, it felt like it was coming straight from her heart and time seemed to slow down as she pushed from within, willing more of her life's essence to leave her body. Her eyes darkened. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve to be held and comforted, not here, in this place, sitting in a pool of her friends' blood. She didn't deserve the reassurance and understanding, while sitting at the foot of the altar on which she had sacrificed, had been able to sacrifice, her one and only love. She didn't deserve…

'ENOUGH.'

The wound closed. The blood disappeared. Jane's vision cleared, and Liara pulled back to look at the human, slightly confused, but resolved.

"Are there any others?"

Jane took a deep, calming breath. "There are, but this… this was the worst one. The others were just more of… him making me figure stuff out."

Liara nodded. "I have something to show you as well, Jane."

"Oh?" She was grateful for the distraction.

"Yes." She stood, helping the commander to her feet. She closed her eyes, and took over the meld, guiding Jane to a new place.

The vision started to swim in Jane's mind, and settled on a different view. Time lost meaning.

"Where are we?" Jane looked at the darkened surroundings. Something was familiar, but different. She couldn't quite put her finger on what it was, though. Something about… the power. Yes, that was it, the unadulterated power of the room. That was familiar. The ambiance? The darkness that was light in its own right? The deep midnight black that covered the floors, the walls, the very throne itself? That was different. It was… opposite… complementary…

Balancing.

"Would you believe me if I said Athame's throne room?"

Jane looked sharply at the asari, but there was no hint of laughter around her eyes as there often was when she teased the commander. Her face was set in stone, and her posture and crossed arms indicated that she was serious… and irritated.

"Athame… but I thought you didn't believe in the goddess?"

"I do not," she replied dryly. "At least, I did not, before this." She gestured to the ornate chair, which was black as night and delicately carved. It was also enormous, and foreboding.

"I don't understand, Liara."

"Neither do I, not really." She sat at the foot of the throne and put her elbows on her knees, chin in her hands. "Athame said some very strange things to me. Something about being a direct descendant of her line, and an embarrassment. I have also been hearing things in my head, things that I thought were indoctrination, but now I think that maybe they could have been her. I do not know. None of it is clear."

Jane looked at the miserable asari and felt her heart breaking. She knew. She knew everything, and she had all the knowledge locked away neatly where it couldn't be accidentally stumbled upon. She searched Liara's face, not sure what it was she was looking for but knowing somehow that she had to find it. She knelt down before her companion and tilted her head up, forcing the woman to look into her eyes. Jane held her gaze for a few moments, wondering, contemplating.

'Tell her.'

There it was again. The Silver Voice, her everlasting companion was urging her along, even in this place so far from his kingdom. He was giving her permission, giving her direction, and she closed her eyes, silently acknowledging him.

'I understand.'

"Liara… there are… some other things. I don't know if you are ready to hear it."

The asari shook her head and smiled weakly. "Jane, I do not see what could possibly shock me after all that we have been through today. I mean… look at this place." She gestured to the throne room and the silver expanse that was just beyond the horizon, where Jane had murdered all their companions.

Jane licked her lips and inhaled deeply. Once she did this, there would be no going back, and Sha'ira had been very certain that Liara wasn't ready yet. She had been very clear when she offered to share all of this with Jane, and Jane had accepted her terms and conditions. Jane had promised to…

'Tell her.'

She closed her eyes, and nodded. Sha'ira was wise, but Jane got the feeling that the Voice was eternal. He was right; she had to tell Liara, now more than ever. She stood, and held her hand out for the asari. Liara took it, a look of confusion on her face.

"Jane?"

"Just trust me." She pulled the asari close and turned the creature's head into her shoulder, wrapping her other arm possessively around her waist. "Please, just trust me, Liara."

The vision started to swim in Jane's mind, and settled on a different view. Time lost meaning.

And then it happened. She opened her mind, her entire mind, and let the asari pick through the pieces, all of them. She opened herself to her companion, and pushed forward for the very first time all of the things that weighed on her, and all of the things that she had been holding back. Liara's emotions through the shared link ran the gamut from mildly entertained, to exasperated, to overjoyed, to confused, to resigned, but it wasn't until she came to a dark corner of Jane's psyche though that she became restless, and agitated, and despondent. It wasn't until she saw the visions that Jane had taken such care to hide away, that she gripped the human tightly and seemed to lose control over the muscles in her body. Jane eased them both to the ground, and held Liara as she played the visions over and over again in her mind, examining them from every angle, every perspective, looking for some clue, some reason for all of it. Some motive for her mother to have kept it all from her these long years. Something… anything…

Jane looked up to the sky and sensed that the Voice was pleased with her. She closed her eyes and leaned back against Athame's throne, gathering the asari against her chest and holding her tightly. "It's ok Liara, I'm here. I'm always going to be here."

"Jane… why did she never tell me?" Liara whispered, barely audible.

"I don't know, Liara. I don't know. She was hurt, and scared, and not thinking clearly."

"So this is what you went to Sha'ira about…"

"Yes."

Liara clutched Jane even more tightly, regretting the horrible way she had behaved. "I am so sorry, Jane. So sorry…"

"Shh, it's ok." The commander ran her hand along the asari's crest, and squeezed her more tightly. "Don't worry about it. Are you ok?"

"I do not know, Jane. I do not know…"

Silence descended upon them as Jane lightly caressed Liara, and Liara clutched at the commander's shirt as if it was her only salvation in this vile nightmare. She continued to replay the visions in Jane's mind, not trusting her own and drawing comfort from the link they shared. Their breathing slowed, and it seemed that a canopy of warm darkness fell over them. Silver stars fell from the heavens and covered them, warming them with dull light and soothing their disorderly minds. The song of the swords in the distance resumed, a sweet lullaby caressing their skin and inviting them to slumber. All was still, in this place halfway between Palladium's heaven and Athame's hell. All was still, as Jane and Liara, the best and the brightest both gods had to offer, drifted off to sleep, content in each other's arms, no secrets left to come in between them.

Normandy, Medical Bay Storage Area

Hours later the call came, and Jane reluctantly disentangled herself from her asari companion.

"I have to go ashore. Do you want to go or should I take Ash?"

"Take Chief Williams. Go make sure the council knows what we are up against. I am going to… reflect on things for a while. I have… a lot to think about."

Jane nodded and brushed her fingertips across Liara's cheek. The asari caught it and held it there for a moment, closing her eyes. "Thank you for telling me, Jane… for telling me everything."

Commander Jane Shepard nodded and stood, straightening her casualwear and stepping back. "I'll see you in a bit, Liara." She turned and walked away, and Liara closed her eyes, leaning against the cool steel of the wall and praying in earnest for the very first time, to Athame to give her the strength she needed to see all of this through to the end.