.
Major Malfunction
"Great, stuck working with Team Possible," Shego complained.
"You should be used to it by now," Kim said, smirking at her rival.
Shego smirked back. "Fair enough," she admitted.
"There's Lucre," Kim said, pointing the man out. He was sneaking through the airport parking lot.
"Then let's move," Josh said.
Swiftly, silently, the group got out of the bushes and began running toward him quietly. Frugal was about halfway across when Tara suddenly shouted, "Frugal Lucre, freeze! We've got you surrounded!" The others looked dubiously at her. "What? I've always wanted to say that," she defended.
Frugal gasped and spun in alarm, eyes wide as he clutched the Juvinator. "Get him!" Drakken insisted. Immediately the Cheer Squad and Evil Incorporated leapt at Lucre. Lucre cried out in terror and tried to flee.
"This wasn't in the plan!" Frugal protested.
"Got you!" Shego shot, leaping at him and tackling the man down. Lucre cried out in pain as the Juvinator went flying. It landed and suddenly began to whir. They all looked up sharply. Lucre cried out in alarm and shoved Shego off him, immediately bolting. The others gaped in alarm as the Juvinator suddenly reacted with a bright flash!
Lucre looked back and stopped with a gasp. What in the...? Awkwardly he looked around, then back. "Oh, this is bad," he said to himself. He hesitated, debating whether to go back or not, then decided he wanted no part of it and fled.
KP
"You're putting on the diaper wrong," Betty said to Jack.
"I know how to change a kid's diapers," Jack argued.
"It's backward! The design goes in the front," Betty said agitatedly.
"You want to change it you change it," Jack shot.
"Give me my baby!" she snapped, taking her son and reversing the diaper. Jack rolled his eyes. Just then there was a flash and the two gasped, looking over. Quickly they scrambled out from behind the bush they'd been in and their jaws dropped in horror. "Oh no," Dr. Director hollowly said. There in the parking lot lay a large group of crying infants!
Snapping out of the shock, Jack said, "Now I'm no expert on childcare, but something tells me it's going to cost a fortune to feed, clothe, and diaper them all." Betty turned to him, mouth still agape, then looked back with a squeak.
KP
"Jack, what are we supposed to do about this?" Dr. Director demanded in stress as she and Jack gathered up the large group of infants.
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking," Jack replied. "Um, which ninja is which?"
"Jack!" Betty shot sharply. "I'm surprised at you. That's very judgemental."
"They all look the same!" Jack argued, showing her the four babies.
"This one is Hana," Betty said, pointing at Hana. "The other girl will be Yori."
"I'm not checking," Jack flatly said.
"Oh real mature!" Director said, checking the naked infants after unwrapping them from their clothing. "Here she is. Yori." Betty handed Yori over to Jack, then looked over Fukushima and Hirotaka. "Fukushima's nose is unmistakable, this is him," she said, picking up the two boys and putting them in Jack's arms as well.
"We can't possibly carry all these babies!" Jack stated.
"Hold on, I'll be right back," Betty said. Quickly she raced off, leaving Jack surrounded by the infants and looking helpless. In moments she returned with two shopping carts. She picked up all the loose clothes and padded the buggies as much as possible. One by one they began storing the babies. "We need to fix this," she said. Quickly she went to the Juvinator and picked it up.
"Don't play with that! The last thing I need is another baby added to the mix," Jack protested.
"Don't worry about me," she replied.
"Famous last words," Jack said.
"Oh no, it's malfunctioning!" she exclaimed. It let out a flash that just missed her and Jack. She quickly covered it. "There's no telling what damage this thing can do!"
"And we're stuck trying to fix it, our resident genius now a babbling infant," Jack said, looking at Drakken.
"He's a cutie pie, at least," Betty offered lamely.
"Yeah, adorable. Well, this'll take a whole whack of diapers, formula, and clothing," Jack said. At least Smarty Mart was open twenty-four seven, though it pained, absolutely pained, him to purchase anything from a store owned by Martin Smarty. The man was one heck of a business rival, and the last thing he liked to do was help his competition.
KP
Jack stayed with the babies in the car, popping pills in a desperate attempt to dull his splitting headache. The crying, the screaming, the everything, it was just too much! He checked the limit of pills he was supposed to take per day and winced. He'd reached it. He didn't need to get himself hopped up on pills right now. Reluctantly he put the medication away and moaned. "Dada!" Will screamed as Bonnie, meanly grinning, pulled his nose.
"Shut up back there!" Jack yelled, viciously hitting the top of the roof. Mistake. They all fell silent for about two seconds before bursting into fresh tears and screams. "Oh gods, shoot me," he begged in a whimper. He never whimpered. Where was Betty? Humph, she'd had him pegged. When she'd volunteered to stay while he shopped, she'd deduced correctly that he would assume staying here meant an easier job. That sly vixen. She'd picked up a fair amount of his tricks for herself, it seemed. He was low-key proud, but at the same time incredibly dismayed. This couldn't be happening to him. He'd just had to open his mouth and argue.
The door suddenly opened. "I'm back," Betty said, slipping inside.
"Thank the gods!" Jack almost cheered.
"What did you do to them?!" Betty called over the screaming, covering her ears.
"I hit the roof trying to shut them up," Jack called back more than a little sheepishly.
"Great! Now we have to soothe them again!" Betty testily snapped.
"Let's just get them dressed and asleep!" Jack replied. He couldn't hear himself think. He needed to hear himself think! He'd never not been able to hear himself think before! It was starting to alarm and panic him.
KP
About twenty minutes later, the two collapsed back into their seats with sighs of relief. Finally, silence. "This won't last long," Betty exhaustedly warned.
"We need help," Jack said.
Betty looked back. "Well, we have Nanny Maim. She'll leap at the chance to help. After all, Monkey Fist's a baby too. Then there's Senor Senior Senior, Team Go, and once we manage to fix this, possibly some of the current babies," she replied.
"They're starting to dirty their diapers," Jack complained, smelling something foul.
"Right, let's get moving before it's too late. Call up Team Go, Maim, and Senior. We need all the help we can get," Betty said. Jack immediately got on his phone. No nonsense, this was serious.
KP
"Oh my," Nanny Maim said, gazing at the babies in horror along with Senior and Team Go, as they all stood in Drakken's lair.
"Shego?" the twins timidly asked, going to their now-little sister in disbelief. She giggled and grabbed their fingers. Her hands lit with plasma and the twins cried out in pain as they went flying. Hego caught them both before they slammed into something.
"This isn't happening," Mego groaned.
"Junior, Zita, oh this is very bad," Senior gravely said, cradling his son and his niece. Maim was holding Monty tightly along with Fukushima, Hana, and Yori.
"What can we do?" Hego asked.
"At the academy, I have my machine. It can turn them back," Maim offered.
"Except we're not sure how it'll react with the Juvinator," Dr. Director pointed out. "Let's start with the source. If fixing the Juvinator doesn't work, then we can move on to the Academy."
"Mama!" Monty exclaimed excitedly, giggling and wriggling in his mother's arms.
"Oh heavens," Maim worriedly said. "Quickly, let's figure this out with haste." She placed Monty on a table along with Yori, Drakken, and Shego. Betty set up the Juvinator, managing to dodge another maverick beam.
"We have to be careful," Jack said, undressing Shego, Yori, and Monty, all of whom had dirty diapers. Quickly Maim, with professional efficiency, changed the three. She was about to wrap them in blankets, starting with Monty, when all at once there was a flash. Team Go, Maim, Senior, Jack, and Betty all ducked. They peeked up and gasped. Drakken, Shego, Yori, and Monkey Fist sat there fully grown!
KP
"Well, this is awkward," Jack remarked, grimacing. Drakken was, in typical line with his luck, still in diapers and sucking on a soother. He blinked and spat it out looking horrified.
"What happened to me?!" he exclaimed in horror.
Monkey Fist gasped, looking down at himself. He was wrapped in a blanket, thank goodness. Still in diapers, but they were hidden. He cried out in terror and disappeared, quickly removing the article of clothing and tossing it down. Being naked was better than the indignity of being stuck like Drakken was, he determined. "Shego!" Team Go exclaimed in horror. Mego immediately covered the eyes of the twins as he and Hego gaped.
Shego was dressed in nothing more than the long shirt Maim had dressed her in, having managed to squirm free of the diaper. At least the shirt covered what needed to be covered. Yori, on the other hand, wasn't as lucky. She'd managed to wriggle out of the fresh diaper right after Maim had changed her, which meant she was dressed in nothing. Yori shrieked in horror going white. Before she could think, she sprang at Monkey Fist. He couldn't even react before she was covering herself in the blanket he was currently under, skin pressed against skin. He stiffened, feeling his body reacting to her nearness in ways he decidedly didn't want it to. He'd never hated more than now the biological functions of the human body. Which, by the way, could react even if you didn't want them to! "You do realize I'm indecent, right?" he asked.
Yori blinked and blanched in horror again. She said nothing, not even daring to move and hardly daring to breathe. "I would like some clothes, please," she finally managed to squeak.
KP
Soon enough Drakken, Yori, Shego, and Monkey Fist were dressed, and Jack and Betty had explained the situation. "Great, just perfect," Drakken grumbled, examining the Juvinator. "Now we'll have to be dodging beams all day long while trying to fix it."
"As well as raising our friends," Yori agreed, cradling her siblings. Hirotaka laughed and pulled Hana's hair roughly.
"Taka, no!" Hana screamed, pushing her brother who was now as young as she, away.
"Hirotaka, Hana, enough," Yori chastised immediately.
Monkey Fist, in the meantime, held baby Fukushima who gazed up at him adoringly, sucking his little thumb. Monkey Fist blinked blankly at the boy, memories of Jack's probing interview questions during the whole PDVI situation, tugging at the back of his mind. With the exception of a couple of features, the child looked unsettlingly like he did in his own baby photos. Fukushima giggled and waved his arms, managing to snag Monkey Fist's finger and bring it down to his mouth. Contentedly he began to teethe on it. Monkey Fist was torn on whether to be disgusted or not. "Finally I get my grandchild," Maim bit at her son. Monkey Fist frowned, shooting her an annoyed glare.
Jack and Betty held Will tightly and looked around. Shego was cradling Amelia and DNAmy who looked to be about a year old each, older than most of the other babies. Drakken held Duff, again who looked to be about a year old. Hego was carrying Felix, Ned, and Justine. Senior held Junior and Zita protectively. Mego held, with disdain, Gemini and Monique. The twins held Kim and Ron, one for each, and a baby Rufus who Mego thought looked absolutely hideous.
"We go to fix the mess and this happens," Betty said, looking around.
"At least it is more manageable now," Senior offered.
"For all the good that'll do if we can't fix it," Drakken grumbled.
"My twin brother. All you ever wanted was for me to acknowledge you as the older sibling. Now look at you. You're younger," Betty teased, smiling worriedly at her twin. Gemini stuck out his tongue almost as if he understood his sister's words.
"Drewbie! I thought you said you didn't have any grandbabies for me!" Mama Lipsky suddenly exclaimed from behind.
"Wait, what?" Shego and Drakken asked together, turning quickly in horror. Mama Lipsky was beaming and glowing at the infants, having just walked in!
"Ooh, I knew there had to be a reason for the sudden wedding!" Mama Lipsky continued.
"What?!" Shego blurted in outrage.
"Quick which ones are yours?" Mama Lipsky questioned.
"M-mother, that is, uh, well, err, none, I mean…" Drakken stammered.
"She is!" Wego One said, pointing at DNAmy.
"And she is," Wego Two agreed, pointing to Amelia.
"And, um, him," Wego One said, pointing out Duff Killigan. Not the wisest move, perhaps, seeing as they were trying to stick to believable genetic combinations, but Mama Lipsky did have red hair.
"Three in all," Wego Two finished. They couldn't push it much farther.
"This is so wonderful, Drewbie! Grandbabies!" Mama Lipsky exclaimed.
"Actually, they…" Shego began.
"Give me them!" Mama Lipsky shot, snatching the three infants the Wego Twins had pointed out. Drakken and Shego winced, exchanging looks. This was going to be a nightmare.
Later
Monkey Fist sat on a couch, bottle-feeding little Fukushima. Fukushima was gazing at him again adoringly. The infant giggled and reached up for his guardian's face. Monkey Fist sighed dramatically, annoyed, and bent down, allowing the baby to feel his features. "Da!" Fukushima exclaimed. Monkey Fist couldn't help but chuckle and grin, nuzzling him.
"You are very much drawn to him," Yori remarked suddenly.
Monkey Fist looked up, slightly startled, and saw her standing there, rocking her two siblings to sleep. He raised an eyebrow. She crossed over to him and sat beside the noble. "I have been forced into the position of his provider, that is all. There's nothing more to it," Monkey Fist replied. Hana whimpered and Monkey Fist reached over, softly rubbing her belly and cooing to the girl. Soon she settled again.
"How is it you are so good with children?" Yori wondered.
"I'm passable with babies. Children and I don't get along, but that hardly means I don't know how to handle them. Mother was a nanny. She ensured I knew it. I simply choose not to take her advice," Monkey Fist replied, frowning.
"It is good that we have you and your mother as well as Hench-san and Dr. Director to aid us," Yori said.
"Humph, the little brats shan't be infantile much longer," Monkey Fist replied.
All at once, there was a cry of alarm. The two gasped and looked up. Immediately they rose with the three children and raced out to see what had happened. Their jaws dropped on seeing it. Maim and Senior were now children of about twelve, and Jack and Betty were teenagers!
"Ooh, not bad Jack," Shego remarked, eyes lighting up. A pity he wasn't a little older. Like around her age.
"Oops," Drakken said as Betty and Jack scowled at him.
"I say," Maim stated, looking over herself.
"Ah hah! Not so much a mother now, are you?!" Monkey Fist exclaimed.
"Montgomery, hold your tongue!" the twelve-year-old Maim snapped. "Child or not I am still your mother."
"Dr. Drakken, fix this!" Senior Sr. demanded.
"Senior was pretty cute as a kid," Shego remarked, eyes glittering in amusement. Even at twelve. She wondered what he'd been as a young adult.
"On it," Drakken said. He tampered a little more and suddenly Maim and Senior were young adults.
"Ooh, not quite back to normal, but this'll do," Shego said, grinning approvingly at Senior. Wishes did come true. She definitely liked Spaniards.
"Mum?!" Monkey Fist exclaimed in shock.
"That's your mom?!" teenage Jack asked in shock. Wow, Maim had been something else.
"Do you mind?!" Monkey Fist snapped.
"Get out of our faces, old man," Betty snapped back with a surly attitude.
"Excuse me?!" Monkey Fist demanded.
"Apparently Dr. Director was quite, as you say, 'a handful' as a teenager," Yori remarked.
Senior ruefully sighed. "A pity we could not stay this way," he lamented, looking at his young self in a mirror. He'd almost forgotten what he'd looked like as a young man. And Maim. He glanced over at her and smiled. She was gorgeous. She blushed and glanced away, smirking to herself. That look he was giving her had once made her melt, even after she'd been married. Granted, back then she'd quickly pushed any such thoughts from her mind.
"Fixing it, fixing it," Drakken insisted. In moments, Jack and Betty were back to their proper ages, but Maim and Senior were now children again. "I'll recover the…"
"Enough! We still maintain the mentality of adults," Senior ordered.
"For as long as that may last," Maim uncertainly said. Senior winced a bit at that. She had a point. It was probably only a matter of time before they were reduced to the minds of twelve-year-olds. Maim turned to the others. "We need my machine. It will undo all of this. The risks we take combining its effects with the Juvinator certainly can't be much higher than they are now," Maim said. There was a flash and suddenly Drakken, Duff, and Monkey Fist were toddlers, looking blankly around. "Ach, A'm a wee laddie," Duff said.
"Drakken, why on Earth are we toddlers?" Monkey Fist demanded.
"Don't worry, I'll fix it," Drakken assured, scrambling back onto his chair and tampering with the device again. There was another flash and he, Duff, Gemini, Maim, and Senior were their proper ages again, but Monkey Fist was still a toddler.
"Mumsy, help me!" Monkey Fist demanded, running to her.
"Oh I've missed my little boy," Maim said, grinning affectionately and scooping her child into her arms, kissing him.
"Mumsy, no kissing me in front of my friends!" Monkey Fist insisted. He looked at Fukushima and pointed. "What about the baby?" Fukushima was weeping, so Maim picked him up as well, holding him comfortingly.
"Really now, this is getting ridiculous," Betty said, annoyed. "Jack, Gemini, and I will take Will and go get the machine. We can disassemble it and bring it back here. It shouldn't take long."
"Oh no, I'm not involving myself in this any further. I have WEE to run. Good luck," Gemini bit. A beam shot out hitting Monkey Fist and making him grow into an adult. Maim gasped, legs shaking. She almost fell under the weight before Senior held her up. Monkey Fist leapt from his mother's arms in horror and took back Fukushima with a scowl. Gemini blinked blankly and frowned, adding, "You'll need it." With that, he left.
"Right. We're out," Jack said, picking up a slumbering Will and taking his wife's arm. Quickly the two left to get Maim's machine, the others watching helplessly after them. They hoped they'd get it soon. A beam shot out suddenly and caught Killigan off guard, turning him into a baby again. They could have sworn they heard him curse.
KP
"Shego, pass me a diaper!" Drakken called desperately.
"Here," she replied in annoyance as she tossed one back, having just changed Kim. Drakken caught it and went to work on Killigan.
"Lord Monkey Fist, I am in need of a bottle!" Yori called.
"Can't you see I have my hands full?" he demanded, juggling three infants at once.
Hego was soothing DNAmy while Mego juggled Felix and Monique. The Wego twins hurried up to Yori, handing her two bottles with which she could feed Hirotaka and Hana. "This is crazy," Wego One said, looking back at the rest of the infants.
"What are we going to do?" Wego Two asked.
"Change another diaper," Drakken complained, wrinkling his nose on smelling a crying Ned.
"We cannot keep this up. Surely there is a better way!" Yori said.
Maim and Senior held Zita and Junior, rocking them to sleep. "My machine is our best bet," Maim said.
Senior chuckled and replied, "She means the infants, my dear."
"I suppose we do have an awful lot to take care of," Maim said. "So, what do you propose we do about it?"
"It may not be a popular idea, but perhaps it would be in our best interests to return the infants to their true parents. We certainly cannot take care of all of them ourselves," Senior replied.
"With exception of DNAmy, Amelia, and Killigan, of course," Maim said. "After all, they are needed to maintain the careless lie that was spouted at Mama Lipsky."
"Let us not forget Hirotaka," Senior said.
"Of course. Hirotaka has no one to go to, the poor dear. No one but his sister," Maim ruefully said.
"Oh right, so we return Kimberly, Ronald, Monique, Felix, Bonnie, Josh, Ned, Justine, and Tara to their parents, with no logical explanation as to why their children have been turned into infants?" Monkey Fist bit.
"And meanwhile Drakken and I are responsible for Amelia, DNAmy, and Killigan?" Shego added, equally unimpressed.
"It's certainly a better solution than this is. Fukushima and Hirotaka will be left to Yori and Monty. Senor Senior and I shall take on Zita and Junior. Now, will Hana go to Monkey Fist and Yori as well, or back to her adoptive parents?" Maim asked.
"That we shall determine as we need," Senior replied. "In the meantime, we must get the rest of them to where they belong."
"Such a bother," Maim said with a dramatic sigh.
"Give me a little longer to try and fix this and maybe we can spare ourselves the hassle," Drakken said.
"Very well, Senor Lipsky. If that is what you wish," Senior said.
Airport
"William Du, get down from there immediately!" Jack yelled at his son as he and Betty watched in horror as the baby crawled across a roof ledge.
"How did he even get there?" Betty demanded.
"I took my eyes off of him for three seconds!" Jack defended.
"And he somehow managed to climb out the airport window and across the ledge in three seconds?!" Betty shot.
"I'm not exaggerating!" Jack insisted.
"Jack Hench, you climb out there this instant and get our baby back!" Director insisted.
"Tell me you're kidding," he flatly said. She screamed suddenly, covering her mouth with eyes widening in terror. He turned quickly and saw the infant almost lose his balance, nearly toppling over the edge!
"Will!" he exclaimed. He and Dr. Director both dove for the window, bumping into each other. They exchanged looks and frowned. "I'm on it," Jack said.
"Maybe I'm better suited to this sort of risk," she doubtfully replied.
"I'll be just fine!" he said, crawling out the window. Carefully he shuffled towards his child who was crawling to the edge and peering over, teething on the cement. "Hey buddy, there you are," Jack cooed. The baby paused, mouth in an 'O' shape, and looked curiously back. Seeing his father on the ledge made him laugh and point. Daddy looked silly there, and scared. The baby frowned. He didn't know if he liked seeing daddy scared. It just didn't seem right. "Come here kiddo, come on. Daddy and mommy are bringing you on a fun trip, yes we are."
"Dada!" Will exclaimed, smiling again and turning. He turned and gasped, almost slipping.
"Will!" Jack exclaimed, leaping forward and catching the baby. He backed up with the infant quickly and handed the child through to his mother. Betty gasped and took the little one, tucking him into his sling. Jack made to enter, but suddenly the ledge gave out under him and he shouted in terror, starting to fall!
Betty screamed and lunged, grabbing his arms and holding him tightly. "Hold on, baby, I have you," she said.
"Great, now don't lose me!" he insisted, looking down in terror as other people in the airport raced to help her get him back in.
KP
Soon enough they were on a plane, heading for England. "Well, that was an adventure," Dr. Director remarked, bouncing the child up and down.
"I hate my life," Jack grumbled, holding an icepack to a bump he'd received.
"Don't talk like that in front of the baby, Jack," Betty insisted.
"Why aren't I being babied?" he whined, knowing full well how unlike himself he sounded right now. Hmm, maybe he had a concussion.
Betty raised an eyebrow. "Honey, I think you might have hit your head harder than we thought," she said.
"No, you think?" he asked.
She smirked. "Oh poor baby," she cooed, pulling her husband's head down onto her shoulder. He whimpered, a spike of pain shooting through his head, but didn't bother attempting to pull away. Instead, he settled, accepting the resting place.
"Will I die if I fall asleep?" he asked, eyes clouding in confusion and worry. He'd heard stories like that before.
She grimaced a bit in uncertainty. "Hey, don't go dying on me," she said. "Don't fall asleep." He glanced up at her, eyebrow raised, then sighed deeply and forced himself to sit up, frustrated.
"We should have gone to a hospital," Jack complained.
"We will, love, the minute we get to England," Director promised worriedly.
"Mmm, I love you," Jack murmured, shaking his head dizzily.
"I love you too," she replied, leaning against Jack.
Middleton
"Shh, shh, shh," Monkey Fist cooed gently as he bounced Fukushima up and down in his arms. The baby was whimpering.
"Haha," Fukushima whimpered.
Monkey Fist cringed and looked down. "No… No, there's no haha, just papa," the noble said. The baby began to cry. Monkey Fist held him tighter and switched to Japanese. "No, do not do that. My child, do not cry. I am here. I will always be here."
The baby began to settle. Monkey Fist smiled softly and laid the young one down. Fukushima gazed up at him with big adoring eyes, sucking on a finger and blinking innocently. "Chi?" he asked. Monkey Fist chuckled softly and nuzzled the little boy. He dropped a kiss on Fukushima's forehead and tucked him in.
"Yes, chichi," Monkey Fist said, placing a hand on the baby's stomach and rubbing it in a circular motion. Fukushima giggled. Monkey Fist grinned. Gently he drew two fingers down the baby's forehead, going over his eyes. Instinctively the infant closed them each time Monkey Fist did so until eventually the baby yawned tiredly and settled, letting himself be soothed to sleep by daddy. Soon he was peacefully and steadily breathing.
"Excellent work, Montgomery. I couldn't have done better myself," Maim said from behind, startling her son.
Monkey Fist spun quickly, eyes wide as if he'd just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Mother!" he exclaimed.
"You would have made an excellent father. That is if you hadn't let your obsessions rule you. For a moment… For a moment I could have sworn you really were his father," Maim remarked.
"I'm not doing this right now," Monkey Fist replied, eyes darting quickly away.
"Doing what, darling? I'm simply trying to talk," she said, sitting. She was obviously too tired to argue.
Monkey Fist looked at her curiously. He noted her haggard state and sighed, sitting across from her. "Mother, get some rest. You're exhausted," he gently said.
"I am," she confirmed. She sighed deeply. "I'm too old to be raising children anymore," she lamented. Monkey Fist winced a bit and looked down. It had been a long time since last he'd registered her as old. All he'd ever seen was his mother. As time had aged and changed her, he hadn't even noticed. Not until confronted directly with it. He glanced up at her. Some would say she wasn't long for the world, but he knew his mother. She was strong. She would live well into her nineties before she let something so menial as death take her. That gave them twenty or thirty years more with her. Or less… He wasn't sure anymore of her age. Hmm… He frowned, thinking. Had he truly become so detached, so lost, that he didn't even register the passage of time anymore? He didn't remember his mother's age… He hardly remembered his own.
He took a breath and looked up at her. "I'm afraid," he suddenly said.
"Of what, darling?" she asked.
"How long has it been? How many years have passed? Mother, I hardly even know my age anymore," he replied.
Maim looked up at him and felt her heart breaking. "Oh darling," she hollowly said, drawing her son close and hugging him tightly. Gently she stroked his hair. "My darling, what have you done to yourself?" Monkey Fist said nothing. He didn't know anymore… He didn't know…
KP
Yori watched silently from the shadows, tears of pity and sadness burning in her eyes.
Oh my lord, what is there left that I can do for you anymore...?
She sniffed and leaned her head back against the wall. There was little she had cared for in the alternate universe they had visited during the PDVI situation, but if she could have chosen one thing from that world to take back to theirs, it would have been the peace and serenity she had seen in Monty Fiske's eyes. She wanted to see Monkey Fist freed of his madness and hatred.
Yori walked into another room where her brother and sister lay sleeping. She gazed down at them and gently stroked her brother's hair. "Hirotaka, I wish you were here to speak to me. It has always been you I looked up to. It has always been you who knew what to say and do." The baby's eyes flickered open, falling on her. He smirked the cocky smirk she'd become so accustomed to and fell back to sleep. She sighed deeply and covered her siblings up, kissing each of them.
KP
"Oh, my grandbabies. They're so adorable," Mama Lipsky gushed, cuddling with Amelia, DNAmy, and a recently awakened Killigan. Drakken and Shego watched awkwardly, forcing grins.
"How are we getting out of this one, Dr. D? They can't stay babies forever," Shego muttered through clenched teeth.
"Working on it," Drakken replied through his own clenched teeth. Usually, he was against memory wiping, but in this case, he would have to make an exception. He hated to do it to his own mother though. He supposed he could tell her the truth. Maybe that would be easier. Nah. Memory wipe it was. Probably best not to let Shego know, though. She got touchy over any sort of plan that involved the warping and manipulating of the mind. Ever since the brain control incident and then later the Moodulator and Attitudinator... Yeah, it was a touchy subject with her.
KP
"When on Earth will Jack and Dr. Director return?" Monkey Fist asked his mother, watching over Fukushima protectively.
"Patience, Montgomery, it is only a matter of time," Maim replied.
Monkey Fist was quiet, considering something. "Mother, there... there's something I have to tell you," he quietly said.
"Oh?" Maim asked, raising an eyebrow curiously.
Monkey Fist was quiet, reevaluating his decision for a moment, but ultimately decided to press on. "During the PDVI incident, I ended up on a certain TV channel with Jack Hench. A late-night talk show of some sort, I believe. He was the host. I was the guest," he began. He paused, hesitating a moment, then sighed heavily and bowed his head, closing his eyes. "He... he probed me about Setsuka and my relationship with her and Fukushima. There were... certain questions he asked. Ones that-that caused me to take pause and think seriously about... something. Something I'd never once considered before."
"Montgomery, you have me most intrigued," Maim said, curious now.
Monkey Fist was quiet, looking troubled. "He asked me if... if there was a chance Fukushima was mine by blood. Because I had been her lover before the child was born," he said.
"She told you the child's father was dead. Why on earth would she have lied about such a thing?" Maim asked. Her attention was certainly caught now.
Monkey Fist was quiet. "Because a pregnant, unwed woman in an extremely traditional village in the heart of the Japanese mountains would hardly be a good look for her family?" he dryly replied like it was obvious.
Maim did some quick calculations in her head. As she did, her eyes slowly widened. "That was the year you disappeared on a trip to South America. The year everyone thought you had perished," she said.
"Including you. Including Setsuka," Monkey Fist said.
"She married only months later. She came to me apologizing profusely in tears because she knew I would be so very, very angry that the woman my son loved, the woman he'd sworn himself to, had taken a husband so soon after his death... Fukushima was born that year," she realized numbly.
"And was named after the place I first met her. The place that she knew had been one of my favorite prefectures. The place where we first..." he began before stopping himself. "I think... I think he may me mine, mother. By blood."
"Then you must test for it immediately!" she blurted, shooting to her feet with eyes wide.
"No! No, I can't! I don't... I don't want to know, mother, and he certainly wouldn't want to. What would it even accomplish at this point? What would it matter?!" Monkey Fist demanded.
"He may be your child, and if he is, he has every right to know it!" she insisted angrily, eyes flashing.
"It would destroy him!" Monkey Fist insisted.
"Him or you, Montgomery?!" Maim demanded.
"Look at it through his eyes!" Monkey Fist insisted.
"You never knew it was even a possibility until this very year!" Maim argued. "He can hardly blame you for that!"
"Oh, he can blame me for quite a lot. Especially if he's mine," Monkey Fist replied. "No one plays the blame game better than I do."
"Monty! This isn't something you can hide away from. Not anymore! No more running, no more hiding, no more avoidance... Damn you, Monty!" Maim freaked, standing quickly and starting to pace.
"Mother, you're going to wake him," Monkey Fist urgently said, looking nervously at the cradle.
"You will test for it or so help me!" Maim shouted.
"Alright, alright, just be quiet!" Monkey Fist desperately begged. Maim looked quickly to the cradle, then back at her son, mouth quivering. She nodded once curtly and went back to sitting and knitting. Now, though, her hands were trembling, and Monkey Fist wished he had just kept silent about any of this. He damned Jack his probing questions.
England
Betty waited nervously as she held her son. The concussion couldn't be that bad. The doctor came out of Jack's room, and Betty rose quickly. "Doctor, how is he?" she asked quickly.
"Oh, he's all right. Mild concussion is all," the doctor assured. "We'll observe him for a few more hours than release him."
Great, more delays, Dr. Director wryly thought, but her husband's wellbeing was more important than reaching Nanny Maim's academy. "May we see him?" she asked.
"Go right ahead," the doctor replied
Dr. Director smiled and rose, quickly walking into the room. She gasped the moment she was inside. Jack was standing there getting dressed! "Jack, what are you doing?" she asked immediately.
"I'm not staying in a hospital!" he replied. "Honey, I'm a sitting duck in this dump without bodyguards and whatnot. I have more enemies in Europe than I'd like to admit. IV's, lax security... Assassinating someone here is like taking a walk in the park!"
"You're being paranoid," Dr. Director said.
"Sweetie, sweetie, look at me. I mean, I'm not exactly Europe's darling," Jack said.
"Scared of someone, love?" Dr. Director asked innocently.
"No! I'm scared of what someone could do to you and our son!" Jack snapped.
Dr. Director started, eyes widening in realization. She narrowed them immediately after, wary. "Wait. There's someone here, isn't there?" she asked.
Jack went silent a moment, but then sighed through his nose and looked around. "Okay, all right, yes. Yes there is. An Angel of Death, to be precise, and the woman's as much an angel as she is a demon. Some psychopath claiming she's 'doing the right thing' and 'showing them mercy'. Bad news all around, and if you must know, she despises me. I slighted her once upon a time. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' and all that. You must be intimate with the phrase by now. Look, I'm unarmed, you're unarmed, and even if we had weapons, we couldn't do much while carting around an infant anyway. We're dead in the water here," he replied.
"You're scared of your ex," she said, vastly amused by this.
"Fright's stretching it, but what man isn't?" Jack demanded. "She makes me uncomfortable, Betty, and in all seriousness, when I tell you the woman is freaky, I mean she's freaky."
"Hello Jack," a sultry voice cooed from the door. He looked over with a gasp. Betty turned quickly as well, holding Will close, and started. There stood a drop-dead gorgeous redhead, and her jaw dropped. You had to be kidding.
Jack, jaw clenched, said, "Trisha, sweetheart, long time no see."
"You just love the women with T's in their names, don't you?" Betty jealously bit, turning sharply on him with eyes narrowed. "Tiffany, Trisha, who next? Trudy?"
"Trudy was nothing," Jack replied quickly. Betty started then scowled at him, eyes beginning to glitter furiously. "Wait, that came out wrong," Jack quickly said, realizing his mistake.
"And I suppose what we had was nothing as well?" Trisha cooed, swaying her hips seductively as she approached him. His eyes darted quickly back to her.
"You look great, Trish," Jack replied, slowly moving ahead and gently pulling his wife and son back, placing himself between them and her. Betty was taken aback by the gesture and started to feel a little more uneasy about this. This wasn't typical behavior for her husband, and if his behavior wasn't typical, it meant trouble.
"You think I'll hesitate to kill you?" she asked.
"No, but if you take the time to kill me, they have a higher chance of escape," he answered.
"Why are you so willing to give your life for these two?" Trisha seductively asked. "Certainly not just because she's a pretty face."
"Trisha, I've missed that mad jealousy of yours. It was always a turnon," Jack growled lowly. Trisha wasn't the only one who could be seductive.
The 'Angel of Death' laughed. "Oh, even still you can make shivers run up and down my spine, Love. After the cruel, heartless way you treated me, I didn't think it would be possible."
"Get out," Jack murmured to Dr. Director.
"Spy, remember?" Dr. Director replied, smirking as she reached subtly for a concealed gun. "Don't think for a moment I'm leaving you here to face this alone.
"The baby?" he asked. Dr. Director turned away and softly began singing. She went towards a chair and laid the sleeping infant down before returning to her husband's side. Now Will was out of the way.
"You think I won't finish off that brat?!" Trisha demanded. "Once you two are dead, where will his protection be?"
"Trisha, come now. We're all friends here. What do you want from me? What can I do to make you happy?" Jack asked. "Name it, really, there's no limit."
"Who is she, Jack? Who's the baby?" Trisha asked.
"I'm his wife," Dr. Director answered for her husband.
"And the baby is your son. How precious," Trisha said, laughing coldly. "Oh, I have a great idea."
"I always loved your ideas," Jack replied. The woman came up with some pretty crazy ones. She was smart, she was psychopathic, and she was frighteningly creative when it came to sadistic ways to torture a person.
Trisha summed up the three, considering her answer, then looked to Jack, a dark smirk on her lips. "Here's what I think I'll do. First, I'll kill your lovely little harlot there. Second, I'll pump you so full of drugs you won't be able to tell up from down. Third, I'll take the baby and you, and I'll drive you both far out to a secret little cottage of mine. There you'll be locked up in a secret chamber in my underground cellar, chained naked to the wall. I'll raise your son as my own, fester in him such wickedness and cruelty you'll never see the like again. I'll torture you for a good long time, and when the child becomes old enough to help, well… How agonizing will it be, I wonder? To know your own child is the one ripping your flesh from your bones with complete knowledge of what he was doing. If I train him up properly, he may even start to think it's a way of showing someone love." Jack, nervously grinning, subconsciously held his throat. See? frighteningly creative.
"You're sick!" Betty shot sharply at the woman
"I know. It's delightful," the woman replied.
"Oh I'll cure you of that!" Dr. Director snapped, storming past her shocked husband and getting right into Trisha's face. "You're finished, lady! I'm Interpol!"
"You just made a very grave mistake in coming this close to me," Trisha said. Suddenly she went to stab Betty with a sharp needle filled with some sort of drug. Probably an execution method. Director grabbed her wrist, forcing the needle away from her body. She seized Trisha and the two women struggled throughout the room.
Jack backed away, shocked. This was unexpected. He looked down at his son and picked up the child. "When did I become the damsel in distress?" he wryly asked the boy. Will laughed, reaching up for his father's face.
"Drop the needle, you little witch!" Dr. Director barked furiously, slamming Trisha's wrist repeatedly into the hard ground until the woman dropped the needle. Betty dragged her up and slammed her against the wall. She pried Trisha's arms behind the back and cuffed her quickly. "You're under arrest for conspiracy to commit murder and attempted murder too if I can get away with it!" Director snarled viciously.
Jack chuckled and clapped while holding the baby, a cruel and admiring glint in his eyes. "This is why I fell so madly in love with you," he said to his wife. "Oh Betty, if I had you in a hotel right now…"
Betty grinned devilishly to herself. "Not tonight, sweetheart. We have other priorities."
"Want a bet?" Jack asked, glad Will couldn't understand them in infant form. At least, he didn't believe the baby could. Probably for the best given all the plans he had for the kid's mom.