Writer's Note: Let's take a moment of silence and remember the fourth wall. *takes a moment* Okay, moving on! I really hope you guys like this chapter, as it is the most cracktastic thing I have written so far. I specially like the old lady.

Another Note: By the way, the twilight arc is almost over. The next chapter will be the last one...and here's a little spoiler. One of our couples gets together! Who will be it be? You have to wait until the next chapter to find out.

Warnings: The four wall is destroyed in this chapter and will not be coming back. The crack levels have risen and things are going to be weird. If this scares you...its best to leave now. Things, after this chapter, are only going to get weirder.

Pairings: Steve/Tony, Loki/Thor, one sided! Chekhov/Steve, Bros!Clint and Bruce/Hulk and Clint/Natasha.

Disclaimer: Sadly I still do not own the avengers, or any of the marvel characters that appear in this fanfiction. Woe is me. Well at least I still own Chekhov and The Narrator! That something right? *sobs endlessly*

Reading Rainbow

Chapter Twelve-In which the fourth wall is complete destroyed

To say that the Hulk had defeated the armies of evil vampires would be a bit of a over statement.

The remains of the army were scattered around the field, heads were resting in bird's nest and a toe had somehow found its way across the field and in a old lady's pie. Her screams the only sound, for the avengers(plus Fury and Chekhov) were to busy standing around in shock at what they had just witnessed.

The almighty Doom, who had only survived the Hulk rage because he was a series regular, was the only one left standing. He stared up at the smiling face of the Hulk, he stuttered out, "EVEN THOUGH, I THE ALMIGHTY DOOM, COULD EASILY DESTROY YOU...DOOM HAS OTHER IMPORTANT BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO. NOW IF YOU EXCUSE ME..." The almighty Doom then ran off. Leaving a trail of white smoke behind him.

The Narrator just snorted, "Wimp." He/She/It then turn his/her/it's attention to the avengers who were finally coming out of their states of shock.

Clint was the first to speak, "That...that was amazing big guy!" He cried out in amazement, running up to the Hulk's side to slap his arm.

The Hulk just turned to smile at his friend, "Thanks. Hulk enjoyed killing the vampires..." His smile then fell from his face, as his stomach let out a large growl, "But now Hulk hungry."

It was at this statement that everything got tense. As the vampires of the group realized that they too were hungry. Horror came then, when the smell of Steve's blood came to their noses. Fury, Chekhov, and the rest of the werewolves acted quickly, surrounding Steve in about a second.

The Hulk roared then, sounding very frustrated, "Hulk hungry. But Hulk does not want to hurt captain!"

Tony could nod, "Neither do we buddy, we need to find something to drink and fast." His own frustration clear his tone. His whole body was tensed from holding himself back.

He didn't have to say it twice, as Natasha and Clint quickly ran off to look for animals. The other vampires followed after them. All but Tony, who was still frozen.

Steve noticed this, and attempted to walk around the werewolves but was stopped by Chekhov.

"What do you think your doing?" Chekhov asked, pulling Steve closer to himself. His fear controlling his harsh movements. "If go out there now Tony will hurt you."

Steve glared at the formal plant, "Tony would never hurt me. So could please let me go? Can't you see that something is wrong with Tony?!" He said, pointing over to Tony's frozen form.

Chekhov had noticed, and made him want Steve by his side more. Who knew what Tony could do to Steve right now, hungry as he was. So he just held onto Steve harder, and turned his head to nod at Fury. Who nodded back, before leaving the protective circle and walking up to Tony.

"Stark. You doing okay there?" Fury asked, keeping his voice low and comforting, like he was talking down a wild animal.

Tony laughed, a low and broken sound, "What do you think Fury? Does it look like I'm enjoying myself?" He growled then, as his fangs grew in his mouth, "Fury...promise me. Protect Steve. Don't let me near him no matter what I say...okay?"

Fury could only nod before Tony lost it, jumping over the werewolves's head and racing towards Steve.

The werewolves acted quickly gathering closer together to protect Steve from harm. Chekhov, moving quickly placed the shocked Steve behind him.

"Steve, baby let me have just one drink...I'm so hungry baby...and you smell so good." Tony moaned, lashing out at the werewolves with his new vampire claws. "Oh please Steve...I'm so hungry..."

Steve, hearing the pain and hunger in Tony's voice, went to go to him but was stopped by Chekhov's hand. Which was still holding his arm.

"Chekhov let me go." Steve said, putting on his best I-am-Captain-America voice, "Right now."

Chekhov stared at him like he was insane, "What...NO. I know you want to help him but in the state he is in now he could kill you!"

Steve just glared at him, "I told you Tony would never hurt me Chekhov. Also I'm not completely helpless. I could fight him off if things went to far you know."

Chekhov just held onto Steve's arm harder, which served to piss Steve off.

You think pissing off Bruce Banner was a bad idea. A angry Hulk was one thing. A angry Captain America was another.

This was the man that had punched Hitler in the face.

Before Chekhov could even blink Steve was throwing him over his shoulder.

"Sorry Chekhov but Tony needs me." Steve said calmly, as Chekhov hit the ground with a resounding thud.

With that, Steve ran off, jumping over the other werewolves and punching one in the face. Fury seeing this, went to stop him. Only to end up like Chekhov, as Steve lifted Fury muscled body over his head like he was made op tissue paper and threw him across the field.

"SORRY!" Steve cried out after him, as Fury landed next to the old lady.

The old lady stared at him. Fury smiled, "Hello there. Sorry for dropping in, I be on my way now." With that Fury ran off, hoping he could get back to the group in time before Steve did anything stupid.

The old lady watched him go, holding her toe pie close to her chest, "And my daughter wonders why I don't go outside...this is the second time this week something like this has happened."

Meanwhile, back at the plot, Steve had finally gotten to Tony. Who tackled him in pure joy.

Steve placed one arm around Tony's waist, "Go ahead Tony. Take a drink."

It was then that Tony came back to his senses. Yeah, he has great timing.

"No...Steve let me go. I'll hurt you." Tony cried, trying as hard as he could to stop himself from biting into Steve's neck.

Steve laughed, "You wont hurt me Tony." He pointed at the knocked out werewolves, "This may be a twilight world but I am no weak Bella and you are not Edward..."

The Narrator and Tony at the exact same time cried out in amazement, "You read Twilight?!"

Steve flushed, "I was bored and it was just sitting there on the table. I thought I give it a try. Trust me I regret it." Steve finished that sentence with pure disgust in his voice, "That book was a waste of trees."

Tony could only stare at him with a open mouth.

Steve sighed, clearly getting annoyed, "Would you bite me already? Come on you're a vampire! Vampire's drink blood!" He then changed tuned, a sad look coming across his face, "If you don't...you'll die Tony."

Steve put his other arm around Tony, bringing Tony closer to him, "I don't want you to die Tony. So please..." He whispered sadly, placing his neck to Tony's teeth., "Please..."

Tony could no longer fight it, he bite down

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb, but then the lion got hungry and the lamb let him eat his left leg. Cause you only need one good leg right?

"That...was a horrible, and out of place metaphor." The Narrator groaned at the author.

The author just smiled.

So Tony drank from Steve.

And the Narrator started planning for his next world...

End of Chapter Twelve~!