"Dad is dead," he whispered through his tears.

Four days had passed since Billy died. Jacob stayed in what used to be our room but had now become his own room. No lights were allowed to be on, no curtains were to be open and no one was to bother him.

Even though I wanted to just burst open the door I knew I couldn't. I had to respect him, give him time to grief.

I was holding down the fort to the best of my abilities while handling Anthony. Sarah had pretty much been shipped off to my parents cabin. Whenever she was around she snooped around in our minds, trying to figure out what was making us sad. And I didn't want her to deal with all of this. She is too young.

And she happily spent time with my parents just like they happily spent time with her. She called me morning, afternoon and nighttime before she went to sleep to update me on what was going on.

Anthony and I spent our time coloring, cleaning, reading books and playing outside. And since Jacob's frustration drained us of energy by just being in the same house we took a lot of naps.

Whenever I suggested for him to go to my parents cabin that was just across the forest he protested saying he wanted to be here for daddy.

How can I argue with that?

We were in the guest room where we had been sleeping in a small bed together. Jacob was to unreliable at this moment. He kept waking up in the middle of the night and phased in anger. So I kept Anthony as far away as possible. But Anthony didn't even seem bothered by his dad being angry.. and turning into a huge wolf who trashed the room. Fortunately he never left the room. Only at night when we were sleeping. But I was sleeping so lightly that I always woke up. I heard him cry in the bathroom every night.

I had Anthony on my chest, snoring, as I had the volume of the TV on 1%. I was waiting for Rachel to call me up. She usually called around this time to ask me about how Jacob was doing. If she asked him herself he would freak out and break the phone.. we had gone through three phones in four days.

I became worried when twenty minutes had passed over the usual time she called but didn't want to bother her. But as I kept waiting, with the phone in my back pocket, I had time to clean the house, make lunch for Anthony and Jacob, (I had to leave his outside his door on a tray and leave before he took it) bath Buddy and still no call.

I sat on pins and needles beside Anthony at the table as he colored a picture for Jacob, desperetly waiting for a call. I kept bouncing my leg, tapping my fingers on the table and biting my nails.. until Anthony became annoyed and threw a pencil on me since I didn't answer him. I didn't even hear him.

Finally I decided to take matters into my own hands and call her. But before I could dial her number someone knocked on the door. I ran to answer it and threw the door open.

"Rachel?" I gasped.

"Can I come in?" she mumbled with a horse voice. She had a black coat that matched the dark rings under her eyes.

"Of course," I quickly moved to the side and took her coat as she walked in. "Is something wrong?"

"No I just need to talk to Jacob," she coughed.

"Rachel I don't think that's such a good idea. He won't even talk to me," I sighed.

"I need... to talk to him," she said sternly. "Now."

I didn't want her to go up there and get hurt. And at this point anything could happen. Even though it's highly unlikely that he would hurt him.

"He is upstairs in what used to be our beautifully decorated bedroom," I mumbled to prepare her.

Jacob POV

I couldn't sleep. My body was drained of energy. It felt like there was a hole in my body for someone who was no longer here..

Every moment I got a second of sleep I dreamt of him. I dreamt of mom. I dreamt of the goodbyes I never got.

Why could I never have closure? Was I such a terrible person?

Several scenerios went through my head every night. Or day.. how could I know what time of day it was? It was always dark in the room.

One morning one of the curtains had somehow moved to the side, letting some light in. When I went to close it I caught a glimpts of my own reflection in Renesmee's favorite mirror.

It now lays broken on the floor.

There wasn't one person on this earth I could or even wanted to face right now. When ever I tried to deal with my emotions I phased and trashed the room. And it had to stop!

I want to see my kids, I want to see my wife.. I want to go to the funeral.

I had been on the phone planning the funeral with Rebecca and Rachel a couple of times. We all agreed on having it in Forks.

"Rachel?" I heard Renesmee gasp. I snapped out of whatever I was in, a freaking coma prehaps? How could I have missed the doorbell?

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"Of course," Renesmee sounded so shocked. I heard her walk inside.

I can't face her...

"Is something wrong?" Renesmee asked.

"No, I just need to talk to Jacob," Rachel murmured.

I began to freak out, pace back and forth in the room while I broke out in a sweat. It felt like my body was on fire. Am I about to phase? I can't hurt her!

I heard someone walking up the stairs and I literally whimpered in panic. I was acting like a scared dog..

KNOCK KNOCK

I froze.

"Jacob?" Rachel asked softly.

"Rachel I can't right now," I whimpered. "..I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't," she insisted. When I didn't answer I heard her put her hand around the door knob.

"RACHEL I WARN YOU," I pleaded to her. "I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you."

"Well then suck it up!" she snarled at me. It was like someone slapped me out of it.

She stomped into the room, broken pieces of the mirror breaking underneath her shoes.

"Holy crap it's dark in here," she muttered as the door closed behind her.

"I think we should keep it that way," I mumbled to her. She didn't need to see the mess.

But of course.. she ignored me and turned the lamp on. The one thing I haven't broken yet. Her jaw dropped as she looked over the room.

The broken mirror by her feet, a chair that was broken into three pieces, the table in front of it was broken in two, the leg to the table was jammed into a wall and the beautiful bed was crumbled on the floor.

"Alice is going to kill you," she mumbled.

"What are you doing here, Rachel?"

"I wanted to see my brother," she gave me a weak smile and began to walk up to me.

"Rachel please.." I began.

"Oh stop it!" she interrupted me and slapped my chest which was only like a nudge to me. "You won't hurt me."

We stood silent for a moment. She did the same thing she did when we were kids.. looking at me until I looked back at her. When I finally turned my head she gasped.

"JACOB!" she whispered and grabbed my face, turning it towards her even more. "What happened?"

"I ran out of things to hit," I muttered and pulled my face out of her grip.

A big bruise covered my cheek and eye.

"You look awful," she mumbled and looked at me up and down. She grabbed my hand that was wrapped in a piece of the sheet to keep the blood from running all over the place. "I'm guessing this was before you ran out of things to hit," she muttered and let it go.

"Smart girl," I mumbled and sat down on the bed. Somehow it broke some more.

"Renesmee says you have been in here since you found out," she mumbled and sat down beside me. "Is that true?"

"Yeah," I muttered. "So what?"

"Stop acting like such a brat Jacob," she hissed and I felt my body beginning to tremble.

Everything turned red. I slowly turned my head to look at her as I exposed my teeth. She quickly stood up and I kept looking at her. She raised her hand and planted a slap across my face.

What the..

"You heard me," she said sternly. "This is hard for us all and you have NO right to shut yourself out. You have NO right to have us worrying over you. Do you know that I haven't slept in four days because I have been waiting for Renesmee to call me crying saying you killed yourself?!"

I was dumbstruck.. she was right.

"You are shutting yourself out just like you did when mom died," she muttered and it was like she slapped me once more. "...we have already lost enough of our family. I will NOT loose you, Jacob."

She trembled trying to hold back tears with a finger pointed sternly at me. I didn't know what to say..

"Do you hear me?" she yelled and I nodded. She wiped away the tears before they fell down and placed her hands on her hips.

"I'm sorry, Rachel.."

"I am to. I really shouldn't have slapped you," she almost whispered and I chuckled.

"It's alright. I was just like someone pinching me lightly," I teased her and she rolled her eyes smiling.

"I'm still sorry," she mumbled and sat down beside me for a hug. She ran her fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck, soothingly like my mom used to do. "..but I have to admit it felt good."

I laughed as she pulled away with a sigh.

"Rebecca is meeting us in Forks next week. Will you be there? I don't think I can handle her alone," she chuckled.

"Are you two having a fight again?" I sighed. They could have such dumb fights.

"She is just so annoying," she whimpered. "..she insists on bringing that boring husband of hers."

"He is her husband. Of course he will be there to support her," I rolled my eyes. "..but he is annoying."

"Thank you!" she exhaled. "Paul tries to be so polite about him all the time. I'm tired of it."

"He has gotten so soft since you guys decided to get married," I snarled.

"Trust me.. he is anything but soft now a days," she grinned.

"That dosen't make me want to hit anything," I snarled.

"Sorry," she chuckled. "..but there is another reason I came here today."

"What is that?" I asked. She put her hand on mine.

"Will you walk me down the aisle?" she smiled.

It felt like something warm burst inside me. And with everything I had inside me I held back tears.

"Of course I will," I smiled back and she wrapped her arms around me. As she nussled her face into my neck I relaxed and let the tears roll down.

Even though she is my older sister I have always felt extremely overprotective and almost superior to her because of my strength.. never did I think I would be crying on her shoulder.

"You are so crying right now aren't you?" she teased. I quickly wiped my face and pulled away from the hug.

"No. Not at all," I cleared my throat and looked away.

"You are so crying," she laughed.

"Shut up," I mumbled and heard the door open.

Renesmee POV

As Rachel talked to Jacob I decided to give them some space. Well as much as humanly possible for someone with super hearing can manage..

I was bouncing Anthony on my hip and cleaning up the kitchen from the mess he made coloring when I heard it..

SMACK!

I dropped the glass of dirty coloring water and it crashed on the floor, breaking into pieces. Before I could exhale Rachel began scolding him.

"You heard me," she said sternly, her voice muffled from the distance. "This is hard for us all and you have NO right to shut yourself out. You have NO right to have us worrying over you. Do you know that I haven't slept in four days because I have been waiting for Renesmee to call me crying saying you killed yourself?!"

My heart broke.. That's why she had been calling everyday? And all I could give her was 'I don't know. I don't want to bother him,' everytime she called.

She is an amazing sister, I thought in amazement.

"Is daddy in trouble?" Anthony whispered to me. I had forgotten I was holding him.. Oh god.

"No honey," I chuckled. "..can you run and get mommy a towel while I pick this mess up?"

"Can do!" he smiled and ran away as soon as I let him down.

I started picking up the glass as quickly as possible to make sure Anthony wouldn't cut himself when he came running back.. plus I could listen to what they were saying.

"Thank you!" I heard Rachel exhale. "Paul tries to be so polite about him all the time. I'm tired of it."

"He has gotten so soft since you guys decided to get married," Jacob snarled.

Who the heck are they talking about?

"TOWEL MOMMY!" Anthony came running back, holding a towel out to me.

"Thank you sweetie," I smiled and grabbed it. As I wiped away the dirty water Anthony carefully studied me. Everything is facinatiting to him..

But when the mess was cleaned up I could no longer stay down here. I grabbed Anthony and walked upstairs. Slowly I pushed the door open and what I saw SHOCKED me..

"Oh dear heaven," I whispered. They were sitting on the bed.. well what was left of it and everything around them was ruined. Everything from the mirror to the dresser.

When I looked over at Jacob he was just as ruined as the room was. I covered Anthony's eyes and motioned for Rachel to follow me out. She quickly did so.

"WHAT THE HECK?" I whispered to her.

"I know, I know.. But let me take him to your parents. It's on my way home and you two can talk all of this out. Okay?" she said calmly.

"But you two need time to talk things through," I sighed. "..and apparently he needs time to ruin our house!" I whimpered at all the extra work he had created.

"Ness," she put her hand in front of my mouth. "..hand over the baby. I have done what I need to do but now YOU need to do what you gotta do. Okay?"

She is right.. I do need time. I haven't seen my husband in four days even. Plus she wouldn't offer this if it wasn't okay with her.

I sighed and handed him over to her.

"Honey, you are just going to spend one night with grandma and grandpa. But I will pick you up early tomorrow. Okay?" I murmured to him.

"Is daddy okay?" he mumbled.

"Daddy is fine," I smiled and stroked his cheek.

Not for long, Rachel mouthed to me and I chuckled.

"Love you," I said and kissed his cheek. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye!" he smiled and I kissed Rachel's cheek.

"Thank you," I whispered to her.

"Don't worry about it," she smiled and walked downstairs.

When I heard the door close I stormed inside the room.

"I'M SORRY!" Jacob yelled and held his hands up to me. I threw my arms around him and passionately, oh so passionately kissed him.

"God I have missed you!" I murmured against his lips as we laid down on the broken bed. I wrapped my hands around his face, pressing our lips together. He laid me on top of him as he caressed my thighs.

I had been so worried. I had yearned for him. Wondered day and night if he was alright. If he would ever be alright. But as I straddled him I could clearly feel.. he was alright. And thank god for that because I had made a hard decision.

I tugged on his shirt, pulling him up in a sitting position and continued kissing him. He grabbed the sides of my waist and stood up as I wrapped my legs around his waist. His fingers began to dig into my shirt that he quickly ripped from my body. I did the same to his and pushed him back on the bed, jumping out of his embrace in time to not go down with him. I unbuttoned my pants. When they got stuck around my ankles I ripped them apart and threw them away.

As he laid on the bed with wide eyes in surprise at the speed I had done it all. A grin formed on my lips and I threw myself down on him. We began to passionately kiss once again and he rolled on top of me. Unfortunately I got carried away and continued rolling on the bed.. making us end up on the floor. And I ended up underneath him.

"AOW!" I whimpered and we chuckled. My back began to ache but the hot kisses he placed on my neck made me forget about it.

My hands unbuttoned his pants and felt him in my hand. All of him. Skin to skin.

"Oh," he moaned and stopped kissing me. I chuckled as I nibbled on his shoulder, encouraging him to let it out. I lead him towards me as I was ready for him but only let him feel with the tip. He began lightly coaxing to come deeper with thrusts and I stopped him. I would make him suffer for these last couple of days in a most pleasant way.

He began to groan and violently pressing our lips together again. But as he moved around my entrance he teased me in the most unfair way. I released him from my hands and took a handful of his hair to deepen our kiss.

He entered me quickly and forcefully, filling me with one single movement.

"Oh, yes," he gasped and I began to caress his chest. His groans and moans provoked something inside me..

I pushed him off me and he landed on his feet. I quickly got up and pushed him up against the wall and jumped up into his arms.

With swift movements he was inside me once again. He wrapped his arms around my back and I let my head fall back, dangling in the air as I thrived in pleasure.

"You feel so good," he moaned and began walking. He ended up putting me on the broken dresser. He held his hands up against the wall to gain leverage as he thrusted deep inside me.

We ended up ruining the last pieces of furniture in the room, happily so I might add.

A wall had began to crack when he pushed me up against it, the last pieces of glass on the floor were now dust, the sheets were ripped into a million pieces as we both twisted in pleasure and the curtains laid on the floor, letting the sun shine in as morning embarked on us.

My fingers made small circles on his chest next to where my head rested. He laid on his back as I had my leg wrapped around his. The little pieces on sheets that were left covered up us to the best of their abilities.

"I must say Rachel has some balls," I said and we chuckled. "..slapping an emotional unstable werewolf takes courage."

"It sure does," he laughed and placed a kiss on the top of my head. "..I probably have to leave by the end of the week."

"I know," I sighed and took a deep breath. "..we should start packing and get the kids ready."

He froze and sat up, intensely looking at me. "..what?"

"I'm coming with you," I smiled to him.

"Really?" he smiled back.

"Really!" I nodded and he threw himself over me..

Round two.

So here is the reason for Billy's death. Renesmee feels she has to come to Forks, even though she shivers by the thought of doing so, to support Jacob.

+ some things are about to change in the story before it ends so hope you don't freak out on me. But I promise I will do my best to give you some good last chapters :)

If anyone wants to know something, discuss or whatever, just PM me.

Hope you all enjoyed, love myside.