Beads of sweat covered his forehead as Steve tipped his head back, closed his eyes and continued, "I was carrying Billy, and Freddy had Peter. The force of the blast catapulted us forward and we fell into the snow. We later found out that the third thug was the brother of Vladamir Kozerski, the ringleader. Igor Kozerski had recently been released from prison after serving twenty years and Vladamir told the CIA that Igor had vowed he would never spend another day behind bars…."
As the memories flooded over him Steve, his voice began to shake. Danny reached over and placed a hand on his partner's forearm, "Steve….you don't have to do this"
"No, I want you to know…..I need you to understand Danny" Steve ran a hand over his face and then he continued, "Freddy had been a few steps directly behind me with Peter over his shoulder. Peter was hit in the head by flying debris from the explosion and he was killed instantly. Freddy was hit in the back of his thigh and calf with several pieces of metal shards and he was bleeding badly. Their bodies had shielded me and Billy…. Billy was unconscious from the torture and we had fled the building without his clothes. I took the parka, snow pants and boots from the guard I had killed and I dressed Billy. Then I used the dead man's shirt and belt to bandage and apply a tourniquet to Freddy's leg" Steve paused and sighed deeply, "Luckily the group had not yet transferred the weapon components to the building or we would have all been killed. We had to leave Peter lying dead in the snow and I began walking...I had Billy over my uninjured shoulder and I was supporting Freddy on my other side..."
Danny said softly, "And you had a bullet in that shoulder?"
"Yeah. I was losing a lot of blood and honestly...if my head was clear, I would have just stayed where we were. My instincts kicked in and all I could think about was getting Billy and Freddy out of there and back to the van...God Danny, it was so fucking cold"
Danny watched on as Steve continued, his voice choked with emotion, "The explosion and the subsequent burning of the building drew the attention of our two other men and they left the van on the roadside and began to move towards us. We had walked about half a mile when Freddy began to falter. I was losing blood fast but I couldn't stop Danny….I was carrying Billy and dragging Freddy and I'll never forget how damn cold I was" Tears welled in his eyes and he blinked them away, "I walked for another twenty minutes or so before Omar and Chris got to us….they took Billy and Freddy and then we made our way back to the van. Once we were inside, we raced to the rental home that the CIA had been using as their headquarters. I don't remember a hell of a lot about the next twenty four hours but the CIA took good care of us. We all needed blood transfusions and they took the bullet from my shoulder and operated on Freddy's leg to remove the metal shards. But Billy….. Billy was in bad shape. The agents had done everything they could for him but his vitals were very unstable and he hadn't regained consciousness. He had started to bleed from his ears and nose and it was obvious that he had a severe head injury but we couldn't take him to a hospital without compromising the mission. The Russian government knew nothing about the takedown. The CIA had taken possession of all the nuclear components, including the plutonium and while I was out they had gone back to the demolished building. It had burned to the ground and they identified my guys by their dog-tags and recovered their remains along with Peter's body…."
Steve ran a hand across his face and Danny said softly, "I'm so sorry Steve"
"I lost three outstanding men that day Danno and there was no way in hell that I was going to lose Billy too" Steve was quiet for several moments before he added, "Danny...I need a few minutes okay?"
"Sure babe...I'll be inside" As he walked past his friend he reached out and squeezed his shoulder.
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Back inside the room Danny went into the bathroom and as he was exiting he heard Steve's phone ringing. Moving over to the nightstand he picked it up and saw the name 'Cath' light up. Glancing out at his partner he answered softly, "Hi Cath"
"Danny...is Steve alright?"
He walked to the far side of the room so Steve couldn't hear him "Not really, but he's not your concern anymore"
He heard the emotion in her voice as she replied, "Danny...please"
He was angry as he glanced back at his tortured partner, "What do you want me to say Catherine? He's devastated both emotionally and physically right now and whether you want to hear it or not, he's not going to be alright for a long time. But I'll be there for him, so like I said...he's not your concern anymore"
"Can I talk to him please?"
He hesitated slightly before saying, "I don't think that's a good idea right now, but I'll tell him you called"
After a brief pause she replied, "Okay...thank you...for everything. Danny, please take care of him"
"You know I will"
After hanging up the phone Danny moved back to the beds and looking out onto the balcony he saw that Steve had stood and he was leaning up against the railing. The SEAL was looking out over the vast Ocean, once again searching for peace and comfort in the calming of the waters that he so loved.
Sitting down on the bed he pulled out his laptop while keeping an eye on his partner.
Steve remained on the balcony for a long time and eventually Danny moved back to his side.
Without turning his gaze from the water Steve said softly, "I'm sorry partner"
Danny replied, "About what?"
"Everything….." A weak grin crossed Steve's face, "When you agreed to become my partner, you had no idea of all the baggage that would come along with that, did you?"
Danny smiled back, "If you remember correctly Steven I don't recall being given a choice. You told me I was going to be your partner and if I remember the words correctly, I think you said 'we would get along fine'…well you were right. Look Steve, I've told you this before and I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it…you're much more than a partner to me, you're my best friend and my brother and I love you. Do you have baggage? Yeah sure you do, but who doesn't huh? Everything we go through in life makes us the people we are but that doesn't mean that the events are always easy"
Steve chuckled softly, "So this is just an 'event' Danny?"
"It might feel catastrophic right now, but yes…it's just an 'event' and you'll get over it"
"What would have happened if I had asked her to marry me years ago Danny. None of this would be happening now"
"You don't know that Steve. I could NEVER have even imagined that Rachel would want to divorce me, especially after we had Gracie. It's like I said earlier buddy, unfortunately you can't make another person love you and as much as that sucks it's the truth. If you had married Catherine years ago this still could have happened and it might have even happened sooner. She loves you Steve and she always will, but she's 'in love' with Billy and I know how much that hurts. It's ripping your heart out and I'm so sorry for that"
Steve's body began to shake as he was wracked with sobs and as Danny placed a hand on his arm he let his defenses down and turning to his partner, he fell into his arms. Danny held him tightly saying over and over again, "It'll be okay Steve, get it all out buddy"
Several minutes passed before Steve pulled back and as he wiped his eyes he said simply, "Thank you Danno"
"You're welcome…do you want to head inside?"
"Yeah"
Keeping a hand on Steve's arm, Danny guided him back into the room asking, "Do you want to lay down?"
"No, we need to finish talking"
"That can wait Steve. You look exhausted"
"Yeah, I guess I am. Okay D', I'll lay down"
After he was back in bed Danny asked, "Do you need any more meds?"
Steve was sweating and in obvious pain but he replied firmly, "No, no drugs Danny…..I just need a few minutes okay?"
Shaking his head in frustration Danny responded, "Okay Superman, okay"
Steve continued to mumble softly, "No more drugs Danny" and moments later he was snoring softly as sleep overtook him.
Danny ran his hand through his hair and then after tucking the blankets snuggley around his partner, he took his cell phone out onto the balcony and phoned Chin with an update.
****** I hope you're still enjoying the story and as always I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'll try to get another chapter up before Thursday, but if it's not ready, I hope you all have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING and thanks for reading and reviewing! ******
