Writer's Note: You know what? I need to stop saying that I will post updates more often...cause I never do. God I'm so sorry for how late this is. Here's hoping that this chapter was worth the wait!

Another Note: Ah, this chapter. I adore this chapter. Mostly because this is the chapter where the plot of this arc finally gets rolling. Yes. This arc has a plot. I'm shocked too. Anyway, I have a question...what Hogwarts' houses would you like to see the avengers characters be shorted into?(Don't forget Fury, and Phil). Cause at this point of time, I haven't decided where to put these guys...so I need your help. Thanks.

Warnings: As always this is a crack story. The fourth wall is also completely destroyed. Please take a moment of you day and remember the fourth wall. May it rest in peace. Also I am so sorry for the horrible mental image of Lord Voldemort as a belly dancer. I am so sorry.

Pairings: Steve/Tony, Loki/Thor, One sided!Chekhov/Steve, Bros!Clint and Bruce/Hulk, Clint/Natasha, One sided!Phil/Steve, Bros!Phil and Tony, One sided!Dumbledore/Severus, and One sided!Voldemort/Severus.

Disclaimer: Sadly I still do not own the avengers, or any of the marvel characters that appear in this fanfiction. I also don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter, the amazing J.K. Rowling owns them. The only characters I own are the narrator, chekhov, the little old lady Freddy Gwen, Renner and the death eater-in-the-front-row.

Reading Rainbow

Chapter Fifteen- In which the plot thickens

Far from Hogwarts, in the depths of an mountain cave, sat the one and only dark lord. The dark lord was many things...crafty, intelligent, evil, and a amazing belly dancer...but he was not a patience man.

He had been sitting on this large rock, waiting for the return of his spy for hours. His butt was getting numb and he was running out of things to talk about to his death eaters. He looked around him, at his followers, who sat on the cave floor. It had been silence for hours now, and it was getting awkward.

The dark lord frowned, he hated awkward silences. But what else could he say? He had already told them his plan to take over the world, how harry potter was his to kill and he had even told them about the fanfiction he was writing! There was nothing else important to say.

'What in the world is taking that idiot so long?!' He thought angrily to himself, whipping out his wand and pointing it at the clocked figure in the front row. If his spy did not get here quick he was going to get angry. Trust me, no one likes the dark lord when he's angry.

The clocked death eater in the front row, stared at his lord's wand. Pure fear etched on his face, 'Oh god why did I become a death eater?! I should have became a doctor like my mother wanted!' The death eater in the front row thought to himself, regret filling his mind. He could see it, his live as a doctor. So very far away from his trigger happy lord.

'If I get out of this cave alive, I'm getting some polyjuice potion, and doing with my life what I should have done in the first place!' The death eater-in-the-front-row thought to himself.

The dark lord was, of course, aware of his followers thoughts, seeing as he was a mind reader but did not kill him. Cause at that moment his spy came running though the cave's opening, and right beside him was Severus Snape.

The dark lord put his wand back into his sleeve, and got up. A wide smile crawled across his face, "Severus, darling, it is so nice to see you."

Severus just stared at him, "It is nice to see you again as well my lor..."

"Please darling...I thought I told you...call me Voldemort."

Severus' right eyebrow twitched, "My lord, I have come to you with some news."

Voldemort told a step forward, lifting his hand and dragging it down Severus' arm. "Oh?"

Severus(who was quite use to getting hit on by old men, coughdumbledorecough), ignored Voldemort's hand. "The narrator has arrived. It has appeared before Dumbledore."

There was silence at this announcement. As confusion filled the room.

Voldemort stared at Severus, his eyes looking straight at Severus'(as this was how he could read minds), "Really? The narrator has finally shown itself?"

Severus nodded, "It has also brought with it some people..."

Voldemort put up a hand to silence him, "I don't care about these other people, I care about the narrator."

The death eater-in-the back raised his hand.

Voldemort sighed, before turning his attention to him, "Yes, what is it Renner."

"Who is this narrator...my lord?" Renner asked, keeping his eyes fixed at his feet.

Voldemort smiled then, a truly evil smile, for ever time he let this smile grace his face two birds fell from the sky and died.

"The narrator is the god of stories, my servants. Now think, if one was to get control of the god of stories...what could one do?"

The death eaters spoke among themselves, suddenly Lucius Malfoy raised his hand.

"Yes, Malfoy."

Malfoy lowered his hand, "One would use that god to gain control of the story and change it to his liking..." He trailed off, nervously. Looking up at his dark lord in fear, hoping against all hope that what he had just said was what his lord wanted to hear.

Voldemort smiled that smile, bird fell to their deaths, "Yes Malfoy, that is why we must act fast. We must capture the narrator and forced him to change this story." He laughed then, loud and long. "We will change this story, so that we the bad guys shall win!"

Cheers went up at the dark lord's announcement. Only Severus was not cheering, in fact he looked horrified for about a second before quickly putting on his stern face.

For you see Severus Snape was a double agent, sent by Dumbledore himself to spy on Voldemort. In fact it had been Dumbledore's idea to have Severus tell Voldemort about the narrator.

'What ever your up to now Albus, I hope you know what you are doing.' Severus thought to himself, as the death eaters continued to fill the cave with cheers.

Meanwhile, one Steve Rogers was still asleep. The rest of the avengers had refused to leave his side, despite Madam Pomfrey's attempts to get them to leave. Dumbledore had also stayed, only leaving for a few moments to send Severus off to the dark lord and send a message to his professors to be on the look out for two gods.

Thor and Loki were still no where to be seen, Steve was still out cold, and everyone was glaring at Tony. All in all, the hospital's room was not a nice place to be in at the moment.

"So Stark, going to tell us what happened now?" Clint said, finally breaking the silence that had fallen over the avengers as they watched over their fallen leader.

Tony said nothing, his attention focussed on Steve. He petted down Steve's hair, hoping that any minute that Steve would open his beautiful blue eyes.

Clint, naturally, did not like being ignored, so he threw a small rock at Tony's head. Thankfully, Tony lived with Clint and thus had a second sense that told him that Clint was throwing things at him, so he ducked out of the way.

"What the hell man?! What are you doing?!" Tony yelled, letting his frustration and anger at himself out on Clint.

Clint narrowed his eyes, "I was trying to get your attention..."

"By throwing a rock at my head?"

"It was a pebble, and anyway you still haven't explain what happened!"

Tony turned away from Clint, "Explain what?"

Before Clint could answer, Bruce did for him, "Tony, what happened between you and Steve?"

There was silence, Tony didn't move and for a minute Bruce believed that Tony wasn't going to say anything at all but then...

"I bite him." Tony said, his voice full of pain. His eyes focussed on Steve's sleeping face, "I lost control and hurt Steve. That is what happened."

No one knew what to say, they stop glaring at him because they couldn't be angry at Tony. Not when they could clearly hear in his voice how much he hated himself for hurting Steve.

It was then that Dumbledore spoke up, "From what the narrator has told me about your adventures in the twilight world. Steve Rogers gave you permission to drink from him..."

Tony snapped around, "Yeah he did but he is a self sacrificing idiot and I should have told him no."

"A self sacrificing idiot huh?" said a very familiar voice.

"AGENT COULSON?!" Fury grasped out, standing up to turn and look at the doorway. Sure enough standing there, calm as always, was one Phil Coulson.

He wasn't alone, because at his sides were Thor and Loki.

"Thor! Loki! Where in the world have you guys been?" Clint asked, and then turned his attention to Phil, "And when did you get here?"

"A day ago." He answered, before nodding a hello Dumbledore's way. Who, was quite shocked by Phil Coulson's suddenly appearance.

"I think a better question would be is HOW did you get here?" Natasha asked.

Phil just raised a eyebrow, "I walked though the portal."

"YOU MEAN I FORGOT TO CLOSE THAT THING!" The narrator cried out. Sending everyone but Natasha, Phil, and Dumbledore, flying from their seats(or in case of Fury falling on his butt).

Phil looked up at the ceiling, "Yes. You did. And thanks to that portal, New York has been under attack by fictional characters."

"Oops." The narrator laughed then, "Can I asked which ones?"

"A hour after you took the avengers...New York was attacked by hobbits."

"Oh my god really?! I can't believe I missed that."

"No worries, someone filmed it and put it on youtube."

The narrator laughed again, "Awesome."

Phil turned his attention back to the avengers(plus Fury, the Harry Potter characters and Chekhov), "So what in the world has happened to Cap?" He asked them, anger clear in his voice.

Chekhov looked up at him then(he had been busy this own scene staring at Steve's beautiful face), was it just him but did this Phil Coulson sound a little too angry?

"In the last world we were in..." Peter started, and stopped, sending a worried look Tony's way.

" We were turned into vampires and I bite Steve." Tony finished for him, looking at Phil in wait for the man to beat him black and blue.

Phil turned a deep colour red, but did not say anything.

Chekhov suddenly realized that he had more contest for Steve's heart. He may have once been a tree but Chekhov was really good at reading atmosphere. This man was also in love with Steve.

Dumbledore saw this as well, and couldn't help by smile. 'You must be a amazing man Steve Rogers...to have so many people that love you.'

Phil finally turned back to his normal colour, and took a couple calming breaths. "Tony, its not your fault."

Now that was unexpected.

Phil continued, noticing the look of shock on Tony's face, "Yes, I am angry but I know Cap, if you were hurting in any way...he would do anything to help. Even if it meant putting himself in danger." A look of sadness passed over his face, so quick that only Dumbledore caught it, "Cap cares about you Tony. So yes, I'm angry that Steve is hurt but I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at the being that turned you into a vampire and put Cap in a position where he needed to help you."

He glared up at the ceiling, 'I don't know if you can read thoughts or not, but mark my words narrator...I will find a way to hurt you for this.'

Tony could only stare at him opened mouthed, Phil was always surprising him but what he had just said took the cake and the pie.

He knew that Phil was in love with Steve too, so he had expected Phil to beat him till he was numb for even touching Steve.

"Phil...I..." Tony started, but stopped, what was he suppose to say? Thank you for not blaming me even though it was all my fault?

He didn't have time to think of something to say, cause at that moment one Severus Snape walked though the door carrying the shorting hat.

"Ah, there you are Severus!" Dumbledore said cheerfully, walking up to Severus and running a hand down Severus' arms.

"You wanted the shorting hat sir?" Severus asked, ignoring Dumbledore's hand.

"Yes...yes, I'm glad my message got to you. Just set it over here..."

Severus nodded, kneeling down to place the shorting on the chair that had appeared out of no where.

He was then suddenly attacked by Loki.

"OH MY GOD YOUR SEVERUS SNAPE. I AM YOUR GREATEST FAN." Loki cried, hugging Severus with all his strength.

"Brother! Control yourself! The poor man is turning blue!" Thor cried, pulling Loki off Severus(who had been turning a nice shade of blue), and pulled Loki into his arms. Upon returning to Thor's arms, Loki smiled and started to kiss up Thor's neck.

"Sorry brother, I just could not help myself. Severus Snape is my second favourite fictional character, don't you worry though..." He smirked, bitting down on Thor's neck, "Your still my number one."

"Okay stop with the breaking of the four wall jokes, I don't think the poor thing can take any more punches." Peter said.

Natasha nodded in agreement, before turning to address Dumbledore(who had pulled Severus into his arms and was glaring at Loki), "So why do you ask for the shorting hat to be brought here?"

Dumbledore smiled at her, "Well if your going to be staying in this world for awhile...you may as well be shorted into houses."

"How can we be shorted into houses... went we are not wizards.?" Steve asked, stretching out his arms.

"Well yes you are, you see the narrator has blessed all you with magic powers and..."Dumbledore froze. As did everyone else, at the suddenly realization at who had just spoken.

"OH MY GOD STEVE. YOUR AWAKE!" Chekhov cried out in joy, throwing his arms around Steve.

Tony soon joined him, as did the others. Until Steve was completely covered by people(even fury had gotten in on the hug).

"Umm hi guys, how long have I've been out...AND OH MY GOD IS THAT HARRY POTTER?!"

Sure enough, standing in the doorway, his hands in his pockets stood one Harry Potter.

"Hi. So who are you guys?"

End of Chapter 15~