The pounding on the door grew more violent. Buffy and Spike braced themselves, as Buffy finally turned the knob.
"I hope you're aware it's illegal for two unrelated members of the opposite sex to share the same hotel room. And please don't tell me you've got a marriage certificate!" Xander's bulky frame loomed in front of them, eyebrows stitched together in a quizzical stare.
"Well, nice seeing you too...Willow!"
Her red hair peeked around the hall, she came running out of breath to where the other three were already standing.
"What are you two doing here." Buffy demanded in a no-non-sense tone of voice. Normally she'd appreciate the visit, but this was a bit too much.
"Buffy it's true, isn't it?" Willow asked, face white as a sheet, despite the long climb up the stares.
"Yes, Will," Xander gestured emphatically at the two blond heads standing just inside the hotel door, "It's true, feast on it with your very own eyes. The dog returns to its own vomit."
"Okay, Xander, that was excessive," Buffy stated with bulging eyes, somehow still managing to keep her voice level and commanding.
"Yeah, sorry, about the dog part..." Xander dropped his eyes and let his hands wander to his pockets.
"He didn't mean," Willow jumped in breathlessly, "that you were a dog," Willow shook her head and looked pleadingly towards Xander, "it just slipped out...you know, we're both really concerned about you, Buff."
"Concerned, how?" Buffy put her hands solidly on her hips and waited for the explanation.
"Well, Xander was visiting and well, there was this rumor...and when we did a locator spell on you...we saw...and then I've got this new trick where I can teleport, so we..." Willow struggled not to lose her breath between words.
"We saw you were with him, and decided it was prime time for an intervention, before things got any more complicated," Xander finished.
"What's so wrong with me being with Spike? He fought with us last big battle. You remember that. He...um...died...helping us." Buffy responded and cast a glance over to her now incredibly irritated boyfriend.
"Well, for one, Buff, he's not human. He's a vampire..." Willow began.
"And two he's Spike...and he hurt you," Xander cut in.
"Gee whiz, why are you two still allergic to Spike? And you didn't hurt Anya when you left her at the altar? Plus, Anya when from bad to good, then bad then good again...sorry," she looked apologetically at Xander, "and you were bad for a while too Will, you never hurt the people you loved?...sorry..." Buffy hated having to apologize for bringing up sensitive stuff, but it drove her crazy to think they were still so judgy about her and Spike being an item.
"You have a point," Willow punctuated by a sharp intake of breath, "We'd just thought," she said with concern wrinkling the skin above her eyebrows, "that you'd moved beyond him..."
"Evolved beyond him," Xander cut in with extra emphasis.
"Okay, I'm pond scum. Is that what you've come all this way to say? Lovely, we've heard it, now please move along." Spike, who'd thankfully thrown his jacket on, crossed his arms and tried to look tough.
"I mean, Buff, you're not really sleeping with him again, are you?" Will pleaded as Xander pulled a face and tried to pretend he hadn't heard the question.
"Woah, since when am I not an adult? And since when are you my relationship police? And who are you to judge who I'm sleeping with?" Buffy lanced an eye at Willow.
"I mean, really, how would you feel, Will if I knocked on your door to keep you sleeping with a woman, or you Xander, if I came to your place and gave you a speech for sleeping with demon chicks?" Buffy knew she was treading on raw ground, but they had really outdone themselves this time.
The two stood in uncomfortable silence.
"And where were your objections when I had that fling with a vampire in Italy?"
Spike swallowed. He remembered that fling all too well.
"We thought you just needed to get it out of your system..."
"Like maybe you were missing...him..." Xander cut in, nodding his head in Spike's direction, disgust still obvious in his tone.
"Or that maybe you just needed to experiment and explore your freedom, you know, taste exotic and mildly forbidden fruit..." Will tried nervously to soothe.
"Oh, Will, so was Tara just an experiment?" Buffy felt bad for saying it, but she meant it all the same.
"No...definitely not, no, I mean, how dare you?" Willow's face turned pink.
"Buff," Xander tried to interject.
"Well, how do you two dare come barging in like this on me? This is my life!" Buffy was almost shouting, while Xander and Willow began simultaneously throwing objections laced with apologetic quips.
Spike stepped forward out into the hall, addressing the lot of them.
"Sorry to interrupt, while you all discuss my existential worth, or lack thereof," at that last comment he lanced a look at Buffy and then turned once more to the others, "but if you keep this up, then the real police will come, and I don't know who of you feel like spending a few hours in jail today, but I certainly don't."
"I'm sorry for this, Spike, Will..." Buffy corrected – it was strange calling him William in front of everyone else.
"Oh, you Will him now?" Willow's eyes got big as she exclaimed in a dramatic whisper.
"Get in, you sorry lot. Come take over our private hotel room, please, be our guests!" Spike soured sarcastically, ushering them in so he could close the hall door behind them.