~ Reiner Braun ~

The carnage really wasn't as bad as the local gossip is making it out to be. When Reiner and Annie stumbled upon the heap of moaning, bloody bodies in the abandoned factory, he had set Annie to watch over them as he reported back to Instructor Shadis. The teacher subsequently dismissed him, and though he protested, he eventually had to trust that Annie would still be helping their wounded companions until the camp's medics reached them.

Plus Reiner really needed to change shirts, as one of his fellow comrades had thrown up on him the moment he tried to help.

He sheds his puke-covered shirt the moment he's entered the privacy of the 104th squad boys' dormitories. Ugh. He'll have to get Bertolt to clean this up. (Not saying that he shoves all his dirty work onto his best friend, but Bertl offered, and it's not like he's gonna refuse, right?)

He's searching through his trunk for clean clothes when he hears muffled sobbing. Glancing upwards, he scans the room—and finds the source almost immediately, a quivering lump underneath his bed's blankets: Dazz. Out of everybody in the squad, Dazz is almost as physically incapable as Armin is; however, what sets Armin leagues above Dazz is that Armin excels at physics and logical analysis, whereas Dazz is just… normal.

Dazz is just a normal human. He wears his heart on his sleeve, openly displays terror and rage and panic and anguish—all the very, very human emotions that Reiner wishes he could express and not cover up underneath impenetrable plates of armor.

He gets to his feet but then hesitates… because he still hasn't found a shirt, and he's noticed Dazz staring before. And it's not like Reiner doesn't appreciate other guys checking out his hot bod—even he can't help but take a moment to admire himself every once in a while—but… uh… well… Dazz isn't his type.

(who could love that monkey butt face)

"Dazz?" A freckled boy with a wide forehead appears out of nowhere, seating himself next to the shaking, moaning lump that is Dazz. "Tell me what's wrong. Talk to me."

(Question answered, thank you Marco Bodt)

"Marcoooo… Mikatha punthed me in tha mouth and I thwallowed on my two thront teeth."

Marco pats the top of the quivering pile of blankets. "I'm sorry, Dazz. Do you think you'll still be able to eat lunch? You can sit with me and Jean."

With Dazz properly taken care of, Reiner resumes digging in his trunk. Unfortunately, even after searching through his dirty pile, he can't find anything that doesn't reek of man. Which is totally okay in a cabin full of dudes, but he wouldn't ever want to subject Krista to that.

Krista deserves only the best.

So he steals one of Bertl's shirts. The guy washes his clothes almost every day because he never stops sweating, so it's practically guaranteed that Reiner could steal one or two without putting his friend at too much of a disadvantage. They're about the same height, so it should fit fine, right?

He forgets that he has particularly wide shoulders and that Bertolt is much leaner than he is: thus the shirt stretches tight over his torso, outlining the bulge of every muscle in his chest and shoulders. It's so beautiful that it makes Reiner shed a single tear of joy (though he also has to make a conscious effort to breathe because the shirt is so tight... but hey, details). If Krista could see him now…

Maybe he can catch Krista in front of the mess hall! They still have half an hour till lunch, but the majority of the squad members usually gather around outside and chit-chat until the food's ready. He rushes outside, so lost in his daydream that he doesn't notice Sasha until her face is ricocheting off his chest. Of course, because he is 100 kg of pure muscle, he moves back by maybe half a centimeter; still, ever the gentleman, he grabs and anchors her before she can bounce too far. "Whoa there, Sasha," he grins. "You okay?"

Sasha doesn't move a muscle for a couple seconds. Her eyes are glued to his chest, so Reiner half-jokingly, half-narcissistically flexes. When she finally turns her face up towards him, her expression is one of pure wonder. "You too?"

"I'm fine," he assures her, unflexing (and discreetly gasping for air; wow this shirt is constricting). "I was just more concerned about—"

"Fine?" Sasha exclaims. "You're more than just fine! You're…" And then, for no apparent reason, she places her hands on his chest, fingers splayed across as far as they can reach. Even then, her small hands don't even encompass the entirety of his pectorals.

Admiring the art is just fine in Reiner's books; touching it, however, is a step too far (even if it is Sasha, who, along with Eren, hasn't even heard of the birds-and-the-bees talk). Reiner takes a step backwards, but Sasha merely steps forward one and keeps her hands in place. "Eh, Sasha..."

He's in for a shock when, upon taking another step back, Sasha mirrors it with another step forward. It's almost as if she's reading his mind because she moves at the exact same time that he does, even though her eyes are trained solely on his chest—and then she starts massaging and poking and Reiner's is more shocked that Sasha is being so aggressive with something that isn't food, rather than the fact that she's copping a feel. "Hey, Sasha, could you not—"

"This is… damn. CONNIE!"

Connie magically materializes from behind Reiner's back. "Yeah?"

Sasha grabs Connie's hand and guides it to Reiner's left pec. "They're just as bouncy as mine!"

"Wha… what are you—"

Connie's eyes widen slowly. "Reiner, how can a stud like you have such soft moobs?"

Reiner frantically backpedals, but Connie and Sasha pursue him doggedly, their hands only leaving him to grab other evaluators.

~ Eren Yeager ~

After an hour of fruitless searching, Eren finally admits that he might need help in locating Armin Arlert. Since Mikasa is showering, Eren reluctantly seeks his next best bet: Hannah. The redhead just seems to know everything that happens within the personal lives of everybody on the 104th squad; sometimes it's like she knows what's going to happen before it even happens. He usually ignores the excited chatter she shares with Mina, Krista, and some of the other nameless girls among their squad, usually because said nameless girls also tend to swoon whenever Jean's nearby, and Eren doesn't need to deal with that kind of crap.

But his past search has turned up empty. Armin hadn't been hiding out in his usual locations: the classrooms were deserted, the tiny library was abandoned, the mess hall was still closed, and the boys' dormitory was empty (well, Dazz might have been hiding in his bed, but Eren gives exactly zero fucks there).

Nobody had mistaken Armin for a lady and shoved him in the girls' dormitory either.

When he approaches Hannah at her usual gossip hangout at the jungle gym between the boys' dormitory and the mess hall, she just so happens to drop Armin's name. Eren immediately leans in to hear more.

"Sasha's getting desperate!" Hannah intones softly as if telling a ghost story. "Bread isn't cutting it for her anymore—she's moved onto small children!"

Mina gasps in horror, then wrinkles her brow in confusion. "Wait a second, we don't have any children here!"

Hannah jerks her head in one girl's direction. "Some of us aren't officially teenagers yet," she says ominously. "Some of us haven't had that special occurrence."

The girl in question covers her mouth with her hands. "Wah, I want my period!"

"Said no one ever," Mina grumbles quietly. Eren figures that whatever a period is, it must be pretty bad. Maybe he'll ask Mikasa about it. Or Armin, whenever Eren finds him. Armin tends to know a lot about everything.

"Sasha's looking for very tender flesh," Hannah grins wickedly. "Think… Armin."

"Oh, his skin's so soft!"

"I would die to have skin as moisturized as his!"

"She'll suck him dry and eat him out!"

"She might already have," whispers Hannah. "I saw her dragging his unconscious body off into the woods."

Eren explods into the center of their exclusive circle then, sending gossiping girls flying in all directions. "Where?" he thundered. "Where did she take Armin?"

Hannah flinches slightly, but she informs him, "Into the forest behind the girls' dormitory about two hours ago." Her voice drops to a low whisper. "I'm sorry, Eren. I know that it was supposed to be you and not Sasha who sucked—"

Connie materializes out of nowhere and snatches Eren away before he can hear the rest of Hannah's sentence (which Eren is eternally grateful for). "Forget about shota love, man, you've got to check this out!"

~ Marco Bodt ~

Dazz leans heavily on Marco as they walk to the mess hall.

His friend is just a little more fragile, okay? Both in heart and body. Because Dazz is easily injured, he needs somebody to support him, to keep him alive and on the battlefield, and Marco will gladly be that person. He's that friend to others too—people like Armin, like Franz, like Connie and Mina and Jean. He'll listen and talk and comfort and love because that's how his widowed mother raised him: to weave a strong network of family and friends, all supporting each other, all keeping each other alive and happy whether they're within the safety of the walls or in the killing fields of the Titans.

Mikasa really did a number on Dazz, apparently; with all the weight that Dazz is putting on him, she might as well have broken his leg. However, since Dazz had put his boots back on without much difficulty earlier, Marco is more inclined to think that Dazz might be faking injury in order to get physically closer to him. Which is okay, he guesses, but Marco's going more at brotherly love… oh well.

Still, by the time they reach the mess hall, Marco is practically carrying Dazz, bridal-style. When Mina chuckles, winks at him, and turns away to giggle with Hannah, the air around Marco rockets up a couple hundred degrees.

Ahem. Uh. Mina. Brotherly love. Totally.

"Marcooooo!" Sasha comes blazing out of nowhere, yanking one hand out from underneath Dazz. The other boy stumbles slightly and gasps in pain, and Marco momentarily snatches his hand away from Sasha to support him.

"Sorry, Sasha, but I'm a little busy—"

"This is important, Marco. I mean it!"

"Another OTP sighting?" (He doesn't remember what it stands for, but it's code for the entire table of potential relationships that Sasha confessed to him about once at three in the morning. It's pretty much her greatest secret besides the location of her food stash, which Marco has also faithfully kept confidential.)

"No, this is more life-changing than that! Mind-blowing!"

Marco furrows his brow. "The soy chickens went on strike and the mess hall has to serve real meat now?"

Sasha pulls up fistfuls of her hair in frustration. "I can't explain it! You have to touch it to know it." She holds out her hand, this time respectfully waiting for him to take it. "Com'on, Marco! I need you to help me with this! You're the best judge out of all of us, especially because I know you're not a pervert!"

Of course, the moment she says this, Marco's mind reflexively thinks up a million perverted things before he manages to shut them away again. Putting on a pure face of innocent concern, he turns his attention to his weak companion. "Dazz, can you stand alone? For me?"

Dazz's eyes wobble regretfully, but before the other boy can sadly protest, Ymir swoops out of nowhere and claps Dazz on the shoulder. "Sure he can," his also-freckled female comrade growls. "Riiiight, Dazz?"

Dazz nods frantically.

Marco smiles warmly. "Thanks, Dazz." Then, as an afterthought, he aims to land a quick, comforting kiss on Dazz's forehead.

Before he can make contact, though, Sasha interrupts, "Wait, you probably need a comparison! Remember, I'm only doing this because you aren't a pervert," and guides his hand onto a soft part of her body.

Marco's mind is suddenly very much not thinking about comforting Dazz. "Show me this important thing, Sasha," he growls, whirling to face her. "Show me now."

Next time: Jean seems to have landed himself in the middle of a drool-worthy chestfest.

"And I see that you're still trying to cop a feel of Reiner's boobs, but you're not even going to spare a glance at Annie's? At this rate, Sasha's going to ship you with everybody."