~ Bertolt Hoover ~
Stupid Reiner.
Stupid Reiner and his stupid man-boobs.
Bertolt is currently sulking through the woods, angsting to the max over how Reiner, in playing soldier, seems to have shoved Bertolt into a tiny dark corner of his mind.
He misses those times in the wilderness, when they were still traveling to the Walls. Back then, it was just him and Reiner (and Annie, though she always did her own thing). They were warriors together, spending every second of the grandest adventure of their young lives in each other's company. He and Reiner even slept together every night—
(hey, not that kind of sleeping! that was almost four years ago and we were just kids)
Though Bertolt can't exactly deny that, as a hormonal 14-year old now, he doesn't think about it every once in a while. You know, sleeping together. Curled around each other for warmth during the colder nights. The good times. So maybe he wishes they could reenact that within the warmth of a cabin… maybe once a month. Or once a week. Twice a week?
(every day)
But Reiner's got other things—other people—on his mind lately, as he goes around playing the soldier, becoming the soldier, and suddenly Bertolt doesn't know this new man-whore who lets a crowd of young humans shove him up against a tree and grope his chest as much as they want.
(i'm probably overreacting)
He hadn't been able to watch Reiner's fondling party for longer than two seconds; it hurt too much, and he'd hidden in the bathroom instead. Even worse, Reiner seemed to be avoiding him; Bertolt hadn't seen him during the afternoon's training session, and not even at dinner either. It was almost as if Reiner had simply disappeared off the face of the earth (and com'on, it's not like that's even remotely possible).
He almost wants to ask Annie about it. Even though she'll probably kick his butt for asking such a stupid question when she couldn't care less, at least it'll be an expected answer from somebody he knows. Somebody who doesn't change their core values on the turn of a coin.
Why does he feel like he isn't as close to Reiner anymore?
Why does he feel like he can't be close to Reiner anymore?
But he so desperately wants to. The desire to be close to Reiner is so overpowering, it almost feels his heart is screaming. The sound grows from a tinny whine to a shrieking wail as the skies above him light up with a fiery orange
(is that a burning skull in the sky)
A ground-shattering explosion sends him flying.
He regains his senses about five seconds later. His constantly-sweating body is densely-packed with muscle and fairly durable as a result, after all, and the regeneration certainly helps to—
(i'm missing an arm)
AGH WHERE DID IT GO
No, calm down. Steam is already wafting from his bloody shoulder. If he pushes through the wild pain and focuses on regeneration, he should have an arm again within fifteen minutes, long before any investigating soldiers arrive.
A brand-new sleeveless arm, since the sleeve of his blue sweater was cut off along with the severed arm. How would he explain that one to the nosy humans?
Bertolt can't think of any other solution other than taking his shirt off. It's a bit more difficult with one arm and a shoulder still loudly protesting any sort of movement, but by the time he's stripped down to the sweat-covered skin, the bleeding has stopped and his nerves are too busy re-growing to do anything more than whimper softly in pain. They've been using the 3D Maneuver Gear during afternoon training sessions almost every day now, so his smooth, naturally tanned skin is marked by red burn lines over his shoulders, straight across his chest, and down his obliques.
Okay. That problem solved. Next one: Reiner.
How… What…
Bertolt had recognized the armored face of his best friend's Titan form straight away, even when its white, cannon-proof shell glowed bright orange with heat as it fell from the sky like a gigantic ball of fire.
Just a head. Just Reiner's armored head.
Why… How did Reiner even get from his moob party to falling from the sky?
(i'll bet you'd rather have me and not annie come and clean up your mess but what if i just not)
But Reiner's still his best friend, so his feet are already moving despite his bitter thoughts
(i really have no will of my own)
The explosion had been so close that the resulting shockwave had been enough to knock over trees (and tear off limbs), so Bertolt just heads in the direction that recently torn-up tree roots point towards, pushing through choking clouds of dust until he almost topples down the slope of a fresh crater. The tiny little bud of his new arm doesn't help him descend the steep slope much, so the trip down is slow-going.
"Reiner!" he calls when he nears the bottom.
No response.
Bertolt stumbles the last couple meters to the steaming skull. It's probably scalding to human touch, but Bertolt plunges his single arm into the exposed flesh at the base of the armored head, worming his way through warm muscle until he finds the fragile body that the muscle fibers are attached to. From there, he walks his fingers up Reiner's back until he reaches the nape of the neck of his human form.
Bertolt pinches the nape of Reiner's neck as sharply as he can.
Huge clouds of steam billow out from the gigantic armored skull as it finally begins to disintegrate in earnest. Limp muscle fibers peel away as Reiner groans and weakly tries to surface; Bertolt loops his one functional arm around Reiner's chest and pulls, helping him along as much as possible.
It's like Reiner's sleeping. Bertolt is holding Reiner in his arms and they're sleeping together, just like the old days when they were travelling from home to the Walls, when he would wrap his arms around Reiner's broad torso in a bear hug, or snuggle up into the crook of Reiner's neck, or run the tips of his fingers along Reiner's skin playfully… back in those good old times when simple gestures of physical touch didn't mean a damn thing, when they were the only things in the entire world that mattered (well, Annie too, but then again not really).
But this isn't like the old days at all, not when he can only use one functional arm to pull Reiner's weak form away from a dissolving armored skull that just fell from the sky, and get them both away before human beings arrive and start snooping around. Not when Reiner's disfigured face in pinched tight with exhaustion. Not when there are still obvious pockmarks underneath his eyes where Titan muscles used to be attached. Not when he was never this heavy before.
Damn, Reiner is really heavy. He definitely didn't have this much muscle on his body four years ago.
Bertolt has an elbow stump now, so he uses that as a stabilizer as he pulls on Reiner's form. Stubborn muscle fibers refuse to let go of Reiner's legs. Agh, when did Reiner become so heavy? Bertolt remembers witnesses Reiner's growth spurt last year, during their first year of being trainees—how his shoulders broadened, how muscles suddenly popped out of nowhere, how he suddenly had body odor and hair growth in unwanted places—but anything that he shared with Bertolt, he also shared with all the other guys in their sleeping quarters.
Bertolt is no longer Reiner's only friend.
(i am not special i am not noticed i am nobody)
Somebody with no resolve cannot determine the path of a relationship. Bertolt can only resign himself to letting Reiner choose his path (though every once in a while, Bertolt reminds him about what they're truly doing here).
(here you can choose to let other people touch your body in places where previously only i could touch)
He's suddenly seized by the fantasy of returning home, right now, even though they haven't even begin to accomplish anything in their mission yet. It starts out as a tiny seed that takes root and begins to grow outrageously fast. If they were to return home now, then they would spend at least a year traveling. Just him and Reiner in the wilderness, where the only things that mattered in the entire world was each other. Just like old times.
Back when he was somebody
(and back when somebody loved me)
Jealousy momentarily overcomes Bertolt, prompting him to splay his only hand across Reiner's chest possessively and squeeze.
Reiner lets out a positively breathy moan, quickly followed by, "Holy$%#&stoptouchingmethere, Connie."
This statement is also followed by a half-hearted struggle, even though his legs are still bound by Titan muscle fibers. Bertolt dodges Reiner's weak punch by simply dropping him, and Reiner flops pathetically to the ground. Indignation courses through Bertolt, but the only thing he can manage to say is a barely-audible, "I'm not Connie."
Reiner's head snaps up from his awkward position on the dirt, weary eyes blinking rapidly in the dust cloud still hovering about them before zeroing in on Bertolt. "Why are you running around topless?"
"I l-lost an arm," Bertolt stammers shyly as his face floods with hot embarrassment, and he wiggles his little elbow stump to helpfully demonstrate. "B-but Reiner… You just fell out of the sky!"
Reiner glances briefly down at his legs, still wrapped up in strands of muscle from his Titan skull, before glancing back at Bertolt's face… But his eyes keep drifting down a couple centimeters. "Huh."
"How?"
"I don't remember. Hmph, I do remember the little brats touching me where no man or woman should ever touch," Reiner shivers, instinctively shielding his chest with both hands and curling into a ball. "Nobody. ever. again."
Now or never. He has to say it now while he's still brave enough, while Reiner still lies on the ground, weakly curled into a fetal position with his hands protecting his tender chest. Bertolt takes a deep breath… and lets it all out in one rushed, smooshed word. "Reiner… I… Iwannagohomenow."
"…What did you just say?"
"Let's go home."
It only takes a second for Reiner to go from a weakling with his legs still tangled in residual Titan muscle to his normal stud mode who's able to hold Bertolt in a death choke just by flexing his biceps. "Say that again, warrior," he growls. "You're the one always talking about completing our mission first, and now you're telling me you want to go home without accomplishing anything? You know we can't show our faces again until we finish what we started. So tell me again: what did you say?"
Bertolt weakly pulls at Reiner's arm, wheezing for breath. Maybe it's the lack of air that makes him so stupid, but he manages to squeak, "I can't stand to see you giving yourself out so freely."
A beat of silence. Then Reiner wordlessly crushes his windpipe.
"Are you insane?"
Bertolt blinks blearily as he rises back to consciousness a couple seconds later. "Ruh… Reiner?"
"You think I'll just offer myself to any bloke who squeezes my manly moobs? Do you have dirty thoughts running through that perverted little mind of yours?"
(yes oh yes to both questions – no wait shut up stupid brain)
Bertolt silently rolls away from Reiner and curls up into a defensive ball.
"I swear to you, Bertl, I'm going to kill Connie. Eren first, actually, for coming up with that stupid boob-jiggling idea, and probably Sasha for drawing so much damn attention aftershe 'accidentally' ran face-first into them, and Connie next for making such a freakin' big deal out of it. Even Marco and Jean. I'll kick their asses into space, just like Mikasa and Annie… never mind. Forget I mentioned those last two. They don't have anything to do with anything."
Bertolt stubbornly remains in his tight little ball, pointedly not reacting to Reiner's complaints.
"What they all did to me was a complete accident. There's no way I'd willingly let anybodywhoop my ass. Or touch it. They're not going to get away with it. I'll kill them all! I'll wipe every one of them off the face of this earth!"
Bertolt does not respond.
Then there's rustling noises as Reiner carefully seats himself on the ground next to Bertolt. Bertolt keeps his eyes squeezed shut… up until the point when Reiner's warm hand lands on his shoulder. "But, uh… hey, Bertl…"
Bertolt keeps his mouth closed, but he can't stop his breath from quickening as the tips of Reiner's fingers slowly slide their way up his shoulder towards his back
(just like the old times when I used to play my fingers across your skin)
Once Reiner's hand reaches Bertolt's back, his fingers zip straight down the spine—and all of the nerves in his back fire, forcefully uncurling him as he arches and gasps for breath. Bertolt can only lie there, exposed and vulnerable and panting dammit when Reiner says softly, "I… I wouldn't mind if it was you. Touching me, I mean."
Bertolt freezes. His mind keeps drawing a blank. He… and Reiner… and a full year of growing distant, thinking that he was losing Reiner and losing the only person who knew him as Bertolt Hoover first and the Colossal Titan second and could love him and who he could love back and—
Reiner huffs and starts to lift himself off the ground. "Man, why am I suddenly as shy as a little girl?" he sighs. "Never mind, Bertl—"
Bertolt launches himself onto Reiner's body, bringing the stocky blonde back down to the ground. Dust and Titan vapor swirl around them as Bertolt finds himself unexpectedly straddling Reiner's hips, both arms finally whole again and resting on the either side of Reiner's head, and Reiner's just looking up at him expectantly and he's pretty sure he doesn't know what he's really doing…
Until he rephrases his way of thinking to one in which he constantly has had to remind Reiner of who he really is: a warrior fighting for a cause, fighting to return home again, fighting with Bertolt and Annie because they are the only two people who love Reiner Braun (or, at least in Annie's case, won't kill him) because they know him as he truly is: the person first and the Armored Titan second.
Despite the fact that he keeps telling himself that he has no drive, that thought is all it takes for Bertolt to make that first step of lowering himself gently onto Reiner's body. From there, it's no longer drive or determination but passion and emotion that carry him the rest of the way down to Reiner's lips—
—Right before Annie, who's wearing a black hoodie, materializes out of the darkness of the forest and kicks both of their asses so hard that they rocket away from the scene of the crime and completely out of the forest.
She watches their tiny forms disappear off in the distance for a moment before turning to the mostly disintegrated Titan skull. She stomps around on the larger pieces, breaking them into smaller chunks that disappear much quicker; then she pulls the hood of her black sweater over her blonde head and disappears into the darkness of the approaching night on her next mission.
Tch. Leave it to Reiner and Bertolt to make her clean up their stupid love messes.
Next time: Jean has a manly cry in the bathroom.
"Marcooo, the stairs to maturity are too steep…"
"From what I could see, you were already halfway there…!"
"Shut up. Just shut up."