Title: Matchmaker

Pairing: Prussia x Hungary

Rating: T

Gilbird was feeling unwell. Very unwell. Though Gilbert had told him not to do it the night before, last night Gilbird had eaten so many marshmallows that he threw up all over the floor in the kitchen.

"Aaaagh, Gilbird! Why did you do the thing?!" Gilbert asked angrily. He ran a hand through his silver-white hair and sighed. "I suppose I'll have to take you to the vet now…" he moaned. Gilbird chirped feebly in agreement.

Gilbert hated the vet. No, he didn't "hate" her- he hated her. They had gone to high school together and had been in the same year, but the difference between them was that she- Elizaveta, or Eliza, usually -had been sensible and had saved up and gotten scholarships and gotten into a good school. He had, however, not saved up, not gotten scholarships, not gone to a good school- or any school at all -and had ended up, well… underwear modeling. Every time he brought Gilbird to the vet, she made sure to have at least four of his magazines sitting around the place and often asked him if her preferred boxers or briefs, because it sure seemed like he preferred briefs.

"Really, Gilbird…?" he groaned once more. "Why…?"

Gilbird just chirped weakly. He was lying on his side on the table and every once in a while he would flutter one of his fluffy yellow wings awkwardly, as if trying to stand up but being unable to manage it.

Finally, Gilbert managed to will himself to the phone. He grabbed up the vet's number out of the one junk drawer of his kitchen (which was still organized in a way that hinted that Gilbert was a bit more than a little OCD) and dialed the number.

"Eliza's Pets," greeted a happy, chirpy voice. "How may I help you?"

"Hi, my name is Gilbert Beilschmidt and I would like to set an appointment for like…" He checked his watched. "Half an hour from now, at ten-thirty."

"Okay," said the woman cheerily. "Lucky for you we're free then."

"Good," Gilbert said dryly, although he had kind of been hoping that they wouldn't be free.

"Now, which vet would you like to see?" the woman asked. Something about her voice sounded a little bit different now- a bit darker or something -but Gilbert shook his head, figuring it was a figment of his imagination.

"You have more than one vet?" Gilbert asked, feeling mirth bubble up in his stomach. "Huh. I thought Lizzy was too lame for that."

"Yes, well, we recently acquired a new one," said the woman. "His name is Roderich Edelstein."

Instantly Gilbert felt a shiver run down his spine, like the feeling one gets when they say that someone is walking on your grave. Roderich Edelstein. He had been at school with Gilbert and Eliza too, but he had been stuck-up and snotty and treated Gilbert like something less than dirt. Gilbert and Eliza had been almost-dating when they met Roderich, and then Eliza and he had instantly started going out.

To put it simply, Gilbert fucking hated Roderich Edelstein and wouldn't mind particularly if he was hit by a truck or smushed by his damn precious piano.

"I want Lizzy, definitely," Gilbert said firmly.

"Are you sure?" asked the woman on the other end.

"I'm most definitely sure," he repeated.

"Okay then, I've marked you down for ten-thirty. Thank you for coming to Eliza's Pets!"

"Yeah yeah, see you when I check in." Gilbert quickly hung up the phone and slammed it against the counter. His hands tightened into fists. Were Eliza and Roderich dating again? God dammit…! Why did he even care? He and Eliza had never had a chance together anyway, even before that damn Austrian prick had shown up!

"Lizzy…" he murmured under his breath.

Finally, he stood up straight. He grabbed Gilbird and carefully stuck the little yellow chick in his pocket, then headed to the door. He hopped onto his motorcycle and started it up, then kicked off down the street, enjoying the wind blowing through his hair and the slight rain on his face. He hoped that it would help him to get Eliza and Roderich off his mind.

Gilbert got to the vet's in no time at all. He parked his bike in a parking space and stuck the keys in the pocket Gilbird wasn't currently in, then walked into the building. He walked up to the receptionist, a cute Asian lady who almost looked too young to be working here. She was wearing a pink shirt with a panda on it and her long, straight black hair was tied into two partial ponytails.

"Hello!" she greeted in the same cheery voice from the phone, though it was less tinny in person. "Are you Gilbert Beilschmidt?"

"That'd be me," he said, flashing her the flirtiest smile he could manage with Eliza and Roderich on his mind.

"Okay! Eliza's waiting for you in room 214! I'll show you there!" She hopped out from behind the desk, revealing that she was far smaller than he was.

She led him to room 214, then peeked inside. "Oh! It seems that she's not here at the moment! Wait here a second and I'll go find her!"

The Asian lady waited until he was safely in the room, then closed the door. He could hear her small pattering footsteps as she walked down the hall. He frowned. Something about this seemed suspicious, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what…

The Asian lady- whose name was Mei but who usually went by Mei-Mei -knew that GIlbert had every reason to be suspicious, for she had a plan. She had talked with Eliza a lot since she had started working here as a receptionist, and she had learned that Eliza had had this huge crush on Gilbert all through high school and it hadn't ever gone away, not really.

She walked into the break room, where Eliza was sitting on the floor with one of the new stray kittens they had recently taken in.

"Eliza," Mei-Mei said gently. "There's a customer in room 214. He says that his name is Gilbert Beilschmidt and he has something important to tell you."

Eliza looked up, eyes far away for a moment, then suddenly her attention snapped back to Earth. "Gilbert? Something important?." Her cheeks flushed slightly and she got to her feet and dusted off her jeans, then picked her white labcoat off of a nearby table and slipped it on. She smiled at Mei-Mei as she passed her, and Mei-Mei smiled back.

Mei-Mei waited a couple moments before following Eliza- not from any sense of decency or anything, but just because she didn't want to be caught before she could listen in on what happened inside room 214. Her friends and family had often told her that she was incredibly nosy, but she didn't care enough to remedy her behavior. Besides, she considered herself a Matchmaker, and she knew a good Match when she saw one.

She waited until the door had been closed behind Eliza for several long moments before creeping forward.

"Lizzy," she heard Gilbert greet tersely.

"Gil," said Eliza coolly. Mei-Mei rolled her eyes at their antics. Crap, if they didn't kiss and make up then she would eat her blazer. They totally had the hots for each other.

"What're you in for?"

"My bird is sick. He ate something he shouldn't have."

"What'd he eat?"

"Like a whole fucking bag of marshmallows."

"What the hell? Why did you feed him marshmallows?!"

"I didn't. I told him not to eat them, but he didn't listen."

"Wow," Eliza said dryly. "Imagine that; a bird not listening when you speak to it in English."

Gilbert sighed angrily. "Ugh, just shut up and fix him so I can leave."

"The hell are you so pissed about?" Eliza asked, clearly miffed.

"Well, don't you have that stupid Roderich around to keep you company," Gilbert sneered.

"There's nothing wrong with Roderich!" Eliza defended, even though the piano-playing genius had left her after high school because it turned out he was asexual and hadn't realized it yet.

"'Cept that he's a fucking wussy," said Gilbert sourly.

"God dammit Gilbert, can't you just-" Eliza began, but Gilbert interrupted before she could finish.

"I wanted to be your boyfriend…" he told her. "Me. How did you miss that?"

Eliza stammered for a moment, probably trying to think of something to say. It made Mei-Mei want to giggle, but she just pressed a fist over her mouth and kept silent.

"I-I… How did you not see that I was trying to make you jealous?!" Eliza asked.

"What?!" Gilbert said, surprised and confused, from the sound of it. "What do you mean?!"

"I only went out with Roderich because you wouldn't make a move and I didn't want to make the first move because sure you flirted with me, but you flirted with everyone, and so I thought that if I made the first move you'd just say that you were joking-"

"I wouldn't have said that…" Gilbert said softly. Mei-Mei could practically see him moving closer to Eliza, cupping her cheek in his hand. "Lizzy… I…"

There was a short pause and the faint sound of whispering and then Eliza said, "Oh, shut up and kiss me already."

Mei-Mei grinned victoriously to herself and she crept away from the door. Heh. Another Match made by an expert Matchmaker. That would show Lien! She did know what she was doing!

She walked back to the receptionist's desk and sat smartly down, checking the time. In ten or so minutes she would interrupt what she hoped was a very passionate makeout session, and hopefully after that Gilbert would take Eliza to his house on his awesome motorcycle, and then all would be well.

A/N HOT DAMN. GILBERT AS AN UNDERWEAR MODEL. *heavy breathing* Oh the things I would do...

Viva: LOL, excuse us for a moment, I have to go buy some towels before Emma bleeds to death.

ReniahTehFireBender brought this to you, ya'll! Wanna know how to say ya'll in Spanish? "Ustedes." There. Now you all know a thing.