Mos Eisley: "The hell left this?" Zoda asked bewildered. A crater was seen in the middle of Mos Eisley with smoke coming out of it.
"Unknown," was Neva's conclusion as he'd taken a soil sample of the crater and come up with nothing. "It's not green though, which is good."
Keira didn't know what that meant and the three continued on their course to her parked ship.
"Still, the material is…familiar," the diplomat said, refusing to let the matter go. Something was nagging him, like he should recognize the readings coming off of his scanner.
"Probably just your imagination," Keira figured. The trio entered into the spaceport and went up to Keira' ship.
"You could always come with," she offered. Both aliens shook their heads.
"Promises to keep, Keira, we have promises to keep," Neva smirked. The woman got down on her knees and hugged both of them.
"Just don't do anything stupid," she pleaded of both of them. The two regarded her strangely.
"Like what?" asked Zoda confused. Keira groaned before turning to Neva.
"Live and don't learn, that's us," came the diplomat's knowing response. Keira shook her head and got up with a smile.
"Right, goodbye you two," said Keira bittersweet. The two aliens gave her a brief wave as she walked up the landing ramp into her ship and entered into it.
"So what now?" asked Zoda of the diplomat as something beeped. Neva produced his scanning device and looked at the results.
"Subject identified…," he began before his expression turned to one of abject horror. "Oh no…"
Keira's scream could be heard coming from the ship.
"C'mon!" the diplomat ordered of the Jedi. Both raced up the ramp into the ship and down several corridors before emerging in Keira's private room.
"Just die you bum!" she yelled.
"Neva, Zoda, help, help!" came the impassioned cry from the other individual in the room. Keira was doing her best to strangle Kirby the Warpstar Warrior in the middle of her private room where all of her stuff had been thrown about.
"What are you doing here?" demanded Neva of the pink puffball.
"Can't….breathe!" rasped Kirby. Neva looked at him uncaring.
"We both know it's impossible to strangle you," he pointed out. Kirby sighed.
"I was bored," he answered as Keira let Kirby go and frustratingly began cleaning up her room. "So I ordered the ol' Warpstar to take me to you two and here I am."
"In Keira's room, going through her stuff?" the diplomat felt the need to mention. Kirby shrugged.
"I wanted it to be like old times," he offered lamely. Keira stepped in front of him.
"OUT!" she ordered. The three aliens slowly left the ship and Neva and Zoda headed down the ramp. But before Kirby could leave, Keira held him up and gave him the Heimlich maneuver as a mountain of stolen objects spewed out of his mouth before she promptly set him down and gave him a swift kick off of her ship where the warrior crashed into Neva and Zoda in a heap on the ground. A gust of wind later and Keira's ship was gone.
"Go home!" Neva said as he and Zoda got up.
"No!" declared Kirby. "Besides, my ship's broken so I'm not really going anywhere."
The trio was now at Kirby's crash site as his yellow star-shaped craft was pulled free and dropped onto the side street.
"Bob O's, tell him I need it the day before yesterday," Neva said to the tow-truck operator as he gave him a massive credit chit.
"Come on," Neva groaned at Kirby's hopeful look. "Just…don't touch anything."
"Hey, what's this?" Kirby questioned as he somehow had gotten his hands on the Aquifyning Rod and began shaking the thing trying to figure out how it worked.
"Give me that!" Neva declared yanking it back from him. "We're in the middle of something with this and you'd better not break it!"
Money signs seemed to dance across Kirby's eyes as he heard that. "Oooh…."
Neva seethed at that comment but said nothing to dissuade him.
"Let's just get rid of the thing before the day gets any worse," he mentioned to Zoda.
"Agreed," said the Jedi speaking up for the first time in awhile. The group reached the golf cart where Treadwell was and boarded it before taking off.
"Man, haven't I destroyed this piece of junk by now?" Kirby lamented looking at the cart. The thing had been damaged so many times it barely held together.
"You've certainly tried," Zoda pointed out as Neva glared at him.
"So who're we meeting then?" asked Kirby trying another tact.
"Unknown," was Neva's response. "And it's worth our standard fee."
"Well you're being gypped," was Kirby's response as he crossed his appendages in front of him in protest. The golf cart came to an abrupt halt.
"Hey-!" Kirby protested when Neva cut in.
"We're here," he declared as he twisted around to face Kirby. "Now c'mon."
The two hopped off of the cart and walked to the warehouse in front of them as Kirby reluctantly followed along with Treadwell.
"Wouldn't you rather I stayed out here than risk something bad happening in there?" asked Kirby innocently whistling. Both aliens turned to face him at that.
"I'm not risking you causing destruction out here, not after Csilla," Neva stated. Zoda snapped out his lightsaber to emphasize the point and then put it away.
"You could get arrested for stealing once, imprisoned in ice for a hundred some odd years and then you're paying for it the rest of your life," Kirby lamented. "Well I'm not going in there unarmed."
He ripped off the door handle on one of the warehouse doors and then swallowed it whole.
"Let's rock," he declared. Zoda raised a non-existant eyebrow.
"Isn't that my line?" he inquired. Neva meanwhile just knocked on the doors of the warehouse, which slowly parted to let them entrance. The group walked into the darkened area as the doors slowly closed behind them and a single spot of light appeared in the middle of the vast area. The quartet stood in the center of it as Treadwell probed the area with its infrared sensors.
"Do you have the item?" came a booming voice. Zoda held it up.
"We wouldn't have come if we didn't," he pointed out. "So what now?"
"Place the idol on the ground and kick it ahead of you. The money will then be returned in kind," said the voice. Zoda slowly lowered it to the ground, but right before it touched, he snapped it back up again.
"No…I don't think so," he stated.
Silence.
"We had a deal!" the voice shouted. Neva and Zoda shook their heads.
"No, we still have a deal but you are required to tell us what you're doing with this idol," they both said, looking around anxiously for their unseen person.
"You know what I'm going to use it for," came the response. Neva sighed.
"Kandor, just show yourself," the diplomat groaned. The Aqualish, Kandor Ito appeared in his robes from earlier.
"Now…hand it over," he demanded. Neva shook his head.
"No," he responded. "Because I know what you're planning on doing with it and it's wrong."
"You two deserve to be punished for what you did to me!" shouted Kandor. "This planet almost made representational status and then I could've been out of here!"
Neva and Zoda slowly circled the Old Republic representative as Kirby just stood there confused.
"Who did you two piss off this time?" he asked. Kandor Ito regarded the pink puffball for the first time.
"And who are you?" he demanded icily. Kirby looked up at him innocently.
"I…ummm…I'm…," he stuttered, before a thought occurred to him and he gave a sly grin. "I'm Korby the Star Warrior of Dreamland."
"Korby?" Kandor asked, stressing the 'o'. "You don't look like a Korby to me."
"You'd be surprised," Kirby confessed. "But I want in with whatever you're planning on doing with the idol."
Kandor regarded him in a different light after this. "And you know what I'm planning?"
Kirby slowly nodded as Neva and Zoda continued circling the representative.
"From one hell raiser to the next, it's pretty obvious," the Star Warrior admitted before looking at the outfit Kandor was wearing behind his robes. "Judging from that insignia on your garb, I'm guessing you're the Galactic Republic's representative to this dreary place. Clearly you can't convince the Republic to let you leave unless certain circumstances arise. But…if this planet were declared uninhabitable then they'd naturally have to reassign you. But clearly Tatooine isn't one of those planets where you can just hire some space pirates to raze the population so you have to think outside the box. With that totem, clearly you've got a plan and this planet's going down."
Kandor tipped his head at the Star Warrior as Neva and Zoda were stunned by this revelation.
"How…?" Neva began perplexed. "That totem can't pull that off."
Kantor gloated at the diplomat's lack of knowledge when Kirby again spoke up.
"But it isn't meant to. Its absence…that's what really matters," he revealed simply. That sent gears turning in Zoda's head as Kandor glared at the puffball.
"Yes, because if you flooded Tatooine then obviously something would be amiss. And eventually they'd find out that you were responsible and put you on trial and then you'd be recalling this event right now and it may lead to an amusing story…" Zoda rambled on before stopping himself and blinking strangely at that sentence.
"The point is, is that you can't afford to flood this planet," Neva finished. "Outstanding Kir…Korby."
Kirby rolled his eyes at that name but otherwise turned his attention back to Kandor.
"So…am I in or not?" continued Kirby of Kandor.
"No," the representative glowered. "I've had a change of heart."
"Nuts," said Kirby dryly. "So…I'll be honest, that's all I've got, care to fill me on the rest?"
Kandor considered it. "No. You'll just have to find out…oh wait, you won't."
A curtain dropped revealing an anti-matter bomb on the far end of the room.
"Ooh…," said Zoda impressed with the hardware. "Blast radius of three miles, it'll take out Mos Eisley, that's for sure."
"But most importantly the idol," Kando finished. "So goodbye you twin terrors and your rotund friend."
And with that, Kandor's image fuzzed and then vanished, revealing that he had been nothing more than a hologram.
"Well that answers that question," Zoda concluded as a timer appeared on the weapon. The quartet ran up to it and read the gauge.
"Fifteen minutes?" Kirby declared disgusted. "That's plenty of time to get away."
Neva shook his head. "That's not the point. He knows we'll die getting it out of here thus saving the city."
"So don't," Kirby figured. "Go get his butt and kick the crap out of it."
"No!" came the dual response. "Not until we fix this."
Kirby crossed his arms. "Fine, we'll fix this."
The Warp-Star Warrior went into extreme convulsions and then…
"WHEN THE HELL DID YOU SWALLOW THIS?!" demanded Neva Kee. A TX-130T Saber-Class Fighter Tank was now in the middle of the warehouse with green gunk coming off of it.
"I was hoping to sell it to these stooges but I guess that's no longer going to be the case," Kirby lamented before he sneezed and a hover-trailer shot out into the warehouse before drifting to a halt.
"Well we'll make the most of it, Treadwell, hook up the trailer to the tank and then get the golf cart out of here. Zoda, put the bomb on the trailer and then get the 130T fired up, I'll take the top cannon in case Kandor decides not to let us go so easily. Kirby…"
The blue alien turned to the pink puffball where he was assembling something with three pieces before it all merged together into a device called: The Dragoon.
"Vaya Con Dios!" shouted the warrior as he leapt onto the craft and it rocketed upwards through the roof and out of sight leaving a rainbow in its wake.
"Alright, let's move!" the diplomat declared after a moment's silence. The trio moved out and then moments later, Treadwell zipped out of the warehouse as the TX-130T ripped out through the sidewall and down the street with the bomb.
Trial: "Kandor Ito?" asked the Judge perplexed. "Are you sure?"
"Pretty sure," Neva assured him. "Moving on…"
Mos Eisley: "My kingdom for a horn," Zoda declared frustrated as passerbys raced out of the way of the tank.
"You weren't this passive when we had Jabba's sail barge," Neva pointed out from the top mounted cannon.
"Yeah, and if we didn't have a bomb strapped to our backs that's liable to go off with the slightest impact, this'd be a repeat," the Jedi declared as he fired off a couple shots from the side-mounted cannons that ripped apart the road in front of them.
"Let's roll!" declared the Jedi as the vehicle broke free from the city and rocketed across the Dune Sea.
"Ah," said Neva knowingly.
"What?" demanded Zoda impatiently as the tank moved past a sandcrawler.
"As soon as we left the city the remaining time cut itself in half," the diplomat answered looking at the bomb. "Better stop, we'll have to figure out how to diffuse it."
"Suit yourself," the Jedi responded as he slammed on the brakes and the craft came to a halt. The Jedi then hopped out as Treadwell came to a halt towing the golf cart.
"He didn't mean bring it here genius!" yelled Zoda at the droid. Treadwell turned and saw the bomb and then raced off, only to trip over a rock and fall flat on its face. The Jedi groaned and then ran over to the bomb and popped off the covering and looked at all the wires.
"Any thoughts Enkidu?" the Jedi asked looking at them. Neva wiped the sweat from his forehead and squinted off into the distance.
"Just one," he answered and then aimed the cannon and capped off a single shot.
Silence.
"What was that supposed to…," began Zoda.
The Dragoon crashed right next to them and Kirby flew off and hit the ground in front of the bomb and Zoda.
"Oh, it's not fair!" the puffball complained as he hit the ground. He then looked up and saw Neva Kee standing over him.
"Deal with this!" he ordered pointing at the bomb. The puffball got up and brushed himself off before turning to the weapon.
"Fine, I'll save the day as usual," he stated sarcastically. He then opened up his mouth and a massive vacuum erupted from it as he sucked the bomb, trailer, and the tank down his gullet.
"Hmmph," he stated and then gave a tiny burp as a muffled boom was heard. And then Kirby began shaking as he clamped down his mouth and covered it with both hands.
"She's gonna blow!" he barely managed to squeak out as Neva and Zoda look at him terrified.
"Well hold it in!" declared Neva Kee. Kirby looked up at him angrily.
"If I do that it's going to come out the other end!" he barked out before once more holding his mouth shut. The diplomat and the Jedi's gazes turned to panic at hearing that.
"What do we do?" asked Zoda borderline hysterical. Neva briefly pondered it.
"RUN!" he declared as the two took off. Treadwell revved its motors helplessly as Kirby stumbled about in a seemingly drunken state.
"This is gonna be one for the record books," he declared to Treadwell before steeling himself for what was to come.
BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!
The mass of pungent air picked up sand and blasted Neva Kee and Zoda off their feet as Kirby was hurtled backwards from the outburst and Treadwell vanished into the stratosphere with the golf cart trailing behind.
Trial: "So that's what happened with that freak sandstorm," the Judge discovered. "You ruined a good family picnic, you know."
Neva nodded. "But at least you can still enjoy another one thanks to us."
"Apparently," the Judge figured as IG-24 cleared his 'throat' to try and continue the trial.
Dune Sea: Neva and Zoda burst up from underneath the sand and gasped for air having been buried for several hours.
"That was great!" declared Kirby appearing over them.
"That was terrible!" shouted Neva Kee back at him. Zoda was going to respond when he tackled both of them as a grand piano crashed in the spot where they had just been.
"What the-," began the diplomat when the TX-130T and the trailer slammed right next to them, the tank nose first, before tipping over onto its top and both kicked up sand and dust. Neva and Zoda both turned their attention on Kirby who cowered briefly before straightening out.
"Kirby," said Neva simply. "Have you lost weight recently?"
Kirby looked at him faking being perplexed. "Why? Does it look like I have? Must be this new outfit."
"You don't wear clothes!" Zoda pointed out. Kirby looked down at himself as if noticing this for the first time.
"Aah, I'm naked!" he shouted, holding his face in abject horror before he began laughing as Neva Kee and Zoda slapped their foreheads when an eighteen-wheel tractor trailer also slammed down on it's front before falling onto the tank and trailer.
"Do you…do a lot of transporting of goods?" inquired Neva Kee looking at the two vehicle-trailer combos.
"Westbound and down," came the Warp Star Warrior's response as he reached into his mouth and produced a trucker's hat, a pair of reflective sunglasses, and a toothpick that he chomped down on. A bathtub with a distillery attached to it came down next.
"Bootlegging?" asked Neva Kee doubtful as slick black Lamborghini came down and crumpled upon hitting the ground. "But alcohol isn't even banned on Pop Star. At least not anymore after you were temporarily frozen on Csilla."
Kirby nodded before sidestepping a speeder bike that came down, destroying its maneuvering spokes. He then caught a glass jug in his hands and held it close to him.
"Yeah, but that stuff is watered down, this'll knock your socks off!" he pointed out before unscrewing the cap, waving the bottle around, and screwing it back on. He then produced a lighter and lit it as a brief fireball erupted.
"Wow," said Zoda impressed. Neva meanwhile was considered other things as a Mecbeth-class automated defense robot fell nearby throwing a brief wall of sand that the trio weathered through.
"You know we're really pushing the K+ rating with this stuff," the diplomat pointed out. "But I digress…"
A massive shadow fell over them and the trio looked up to see the Halbeard dropping through the sky at them. Zoda turned to Force-run out of there when Treadwell and the golf cart crashed down on him, pinning him to the ground.
"Ah heh-heh," laughed Kirby nervously as the shadow grew ever larger around them.
"You need to cut back on your iron intake," was all Neva Kee managed to say before the Halbeard slammed into the ground in a massive fireball.