Title: Hurt

Pairing: Romano x Natalya

Rating: T

WARNING: Self harm is very heavily mentioned in this. If you're triggered by it in any way, please do not read. Thank you. :)

"How do I stop?" Natalya asked. She clutched her wrist in one hand. "I… I need it to stop."

Her counselor surveyed her over his desk, then sighed. He took his glasses off, then ran a hand through his slicked-back blond hair. "Look, I… have another patient. Who is like you. He… has the same problem."

Natalya looked up at him. Her hair hung in front of her eyes, stringy and unwashed, but she didn't care. She was miserable. She didn't have enough time for doing up her hair; she hadn't even put in her customary dark blue bow. She felt naked without it, but she felt restrained when wearing it.

"So? Why does this boy matter?"

Her counselor rubbed at his forehead. "Even though I must stick to the laws of patient confidentiality… I feel that it would be beneficial for the two of you to meet."

Natalya stared at the floor. She would meet him, huh? Would he have the same scars on his arms that she had? Would he have the same miserable look in his eyes? Would he be just as broken as she?

"When?" she asked, voice hoarse.

He grabbed a file-folder out of one of his desk drawers, flipped through it, then tapped the ends on the desk a couple of times to even the papers out again before replacing it in the drawer, which he then proceeded to lock.

"I will arrange for the two of you to meet in a public area. Don't worry, it won't be anywhere like a cafe; it will be dark. The movies. Good idea, yes?"

Natalya swayed slightly on her chair, then nodded. She had a razor blade in her pocket. She had enough time between now and when her sister came to pick her up to relieve the ache she could feel building up inside of her. She felt ready to explode with it.

She got up from her chair, and Doctor Beilschmidt led her to the door. She grasped the doorknob in her hand, but before she could turn it he had placed a hand on her shoulder, effectively stopping her. She looked back at him, eyes dull.

"Be good to yourself, Natalya," he said. "Be good to yourself until you meet him. Please."

Natalya sighed slightly at his importations, but nodded. "Very well. I'll do my best."

She wouldn't do her best; her razorblade was burning a hole in her pocket. But she liked her German counselor, and she wanted him to feel as if he had accomplished something with their meeting. Though he hadn't. Though he wouldn't. Even this boy, though he sparked in her a vague interest, would not mend the hurt inside of her. Nothing would. Not ever.

But he could try.

AYE**LUV**YOU

"Lovino," he said, "I have a proposition for you."

"No," said the boy with the dark hair, the one sitting in the corner. His dark hoodie was pulled up over his head and his sketchbook was spread across his lap. He was quickly sketching some indefinable figures onto each piece of paper he looked at, but he flipped through them so fast that Ludwig couldn't make them out.

His arms, unlike Natalya's, weren't covered up; in fact, it was more as if they were displayed. His sleeves were pulled up to his elbows and one arms was outstretched across the piece of paper, showcasing the lines running across his arm, up and down from his wrist to his elbow.

"Lovino," Ludwig repeated. "I have a proposition for you."

"I don't want to hear it," said Lovino, not bothering to look up. "Feli told you, didn't he? Of course he did."

"Told me what?"

"About Isabel."

Ludwig was silent for a moment. Then he said, "Lovino, would you like to talk about Isabel-"

There was a loud ripping noise as, in a quick, sudden motion, Lovino ripped his current drawing into two pieces, one far larger than the other.

"I don't want to talk about Isabel. Ever."

"I think that it would help you to feel bette-"

"What would help me to feel better is a cigarette," Lovino said sharply, "and a glass of wine. Or maybe a blow job."

Ludwig winced. "Lovino, how many times must I tell you-"

"'At least once more, Miss Swan,'" Lovino mimicked in a falsetto. "Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. The original line was spoken by one Will Turner to one Elizabeth Swan in the original context that she wanted him to call her Elizabeth but he had a proper sense of propriety, according to her father."

"Lovino. Stop doing that. Stop with the movie-quoting… thing."

"Why?" Lovino asked, looking up to meet Ludwig's icy blue eyes with his own staring hazel ones. "Is it annoying?"

"It's unnerving," Ludwig said.

"Tch. Of course, only you don't find it annoying." Lovino looked back down at his sketchbook, then flipped back through all the pictures he had drawn, coloring over them all with the charcoal pencil he had been using this entire time.

"Lovino, would you like to see a movie with another patient of mine?" Ludwig said in a rush.

Lovino glanced up. "Why would I want to do that? The last time I saw a movie with someone was when I was dating Isabel." He snapped his charcoal pencil in half, then snapped the halves into halves and continued on. He didn't bother trying to avoid spilling charcoal on the floor, and Ludwig almost twitched with the urge to tell him to stop.

"Well then, it would be nice and refreshing to go out with someone new for a change, yes?"

"No," Lovino said. "I don't want to go out. I don't like going out, and they're not showing anything good right now."

"Aren't they showing Thor 2?"

Lovino shot him a disgusted look. "Why would I want to see a movie about stupid superheroes in tight clothes? I'm not fucking gay."

"No profanity, please-"

"Fuck shit cock whore."

"You're seeing that movie, Lovino," Ludwig said firmly. "I'll make Feliciano take you there. And I'll be calling him later to give him the details."

Lovino sneered. "More like sex him up over the phone." He got to his feet, brushing the charcoal off of his black skinny-jeans and smearing them purposefully into the carpet with his foot. "Don't think that I don't know what you two do in your free time."

"Lovino, this isn't about me, or even your older brother. This is about you. We're doing this for you."

Lovino snorted out a laugh, then opened the door. "Have fun with that." He slammed the door behind him, and Ludwig could hear his footsteps echoing down the hall as he left the building.

He sighed and rested his head in his hands. He hoped that he was doing the right thing.

AYE**LUV**YOU

The movie was going to be stupid. Natalya had her razor in her pocket still, and she rubbed her finger across the edge of it occasionally; not hard enough to cut, but hard enough to let her know how easy it would be to drag it through her skin.

She and her sister were supposed to meet the other boy and his brother in the lobby, right next to where you buy the popcorn. Katyushka- her sister -and the brother were currently chattering away to each other on the phone. Natalya wanted to sneak away to the bathroom, but she knew that she wouldn't get a chance. Katushka was very protective of her and wanted her to be safe; that was how she had been caught and sent to this counselor in the first place. She hadn't been stupid, like some people. She hadn't been seeking attention. She'd just been seeking the pain.

She'd tried her best to hide it, but Kat had still found out in the end.

"Oh, I see you now!" Kat said in her heavy Ukrainian accent. "I am hanging up!" She proceeded to do so, then grabbed Natalya's hand and dragged her over to where two identical-looking boys were standing. One was taller and looked a bit older; he had light reddish-brown hair and caramel-colored eyes. The other boy was smaller and slouched, shrinking his appearance even more. He had an iPod in his hand and earbuds in his ears. He was also wearing a t-shirt from a band that she liked.

But his scars weren't covered. They showed up right on his skin, and some of them looked rather fresh. Some were covered in bandages.

"Hello!" said the older boy, walking forward to shake Kat's hand, then Natalya's. "Are you Natalya? This is my brother, Lovino."

Natalya dutifully held out her hand to the boy, but he just stared at her, unimpressed. "I want to go home now, Feli," he ordered, looking back down at his iPod screen. "This girl isn't nearly as hot as Isabel."

Feli got a kind of annoyed smile on his face. "Lovino, I already told you: you're going to see the movie with this girl, and you're going to like it."

Natalya pressed her thumb hard against the razor blade in her pocket as the two brothers bickered. Kat shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, unsure of what to do in this situation.

Finally, Lovino let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine. I'll stay, but I'm leaving as soon as you leave."

Feli shot him an annoyed glare. "Fine. Do what you want."

"I will."

"I know."

The older siblings went to buy tickets for the movie while the younger siblings stood there awkwardly. Natalya felt like she should try to make conversation- she had dressed up for this, after all -but decided against it. She didn't want to talk to this spoiled little emo boy.

"You got a blade?" he asked suddenly.

She looked up at him, surprised. "What?"

"Got a blade with you?"

She tightened her grip on her blade. "No."

"Liar."

"I'm not!"

"Are too. You've been pressing against it this whole time."

"Have not!"

"Have too. Give it here, I need to cut."

She jerked away from him as he reached out. "Fuck off. Get your own blade."

He rolled his eyes at her. "Got a smoke?"

"I don't smoke."

"Why not? Don't you know it's another way to die quicker?"

"I don't want to die."

He snorted. "Of course you do. That's why you cut."

She leaned toward him, looking intently into his hazel eyes. "I don't want to die," she said slowly. "I want to hurt…"

His eyes widened and his face paled. Freckles stood out on his nose and he leaned backward, away from her.

She leaned back, crossing her arms over her chest. She was regretting wearing this dress now, but Kat had made her do it.

"I knew you would be a softie. Just like all the others," she said softly. "You are tortured and it relieves you; for me, the torture is the relief."

He stared at her some more, then moved close, very close, so close that their noses were almost touching. He stared into her eyes for a moment, then smiled a wide, slightly crazy grin.

"I like you," he said. He leaned forward randomly and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Let's be friends, shall we?"

Natalya rolled her eyes, but when he offered her his hand, she took it.

Viva: WHY AM I STARTING TO SHIP THIS NOW?! STOP IT, EPIC!

It's not my fault I'm beautiful, Viva. *flips hair*

A/N Anyway. So, that was an experience. Btw guys, you can totally request angst because I love to write it... :3

Oh yeah also I might be starting an M-rated BTT fic that will hopefully help me improve on smut but I think I'll start it when this one is closer to being finished. Just a heads-up on that.

Also, I've decided that "finished" for this fic will be a hundred chapters. I really do love to write these...