Tatooine: Kandor Ito sat in his darkened room staring at a display that showed a dot indicating one of the drilling devices moving across the Dune Sea towards him.
"What's your game, Jedi?" he wondered aloud at the drill's unwillingness to conceal its location.
Pod: "So what's our game, Jedi?" asked Kirby mockingly for the umpteenth time. Zoda groaned and then growled as he continued pulling levers and flicking switches. Zobba was still in the back sitting there perplexed as usual but seemingly content to go along with the ride for now. He hadn't uttered a word since Zoda and Kirby had both snapped at him a couple hours back, but he knew they meant no ill will.
"We're going to the bad guy's lair to kick his butt alright?" Zoda responded as he threw another lever and the vehicle trudged along on its treads.
"And you think he's going to just let us roll up and ring the doorbell?" asked Kirby bemused.
"No," confessed Zoda earnestly. "But I'm sick of all of this waiting around; Obi-Wan was fond of springing traps and so am I."
Kirby thought about that.
"That didn't end so well when he sprung that trap on the Death Star," the Warp Star Warror laughed hysterically. Zoda stewed at that.
"Can it!" he shouted. Kirby laughed even harder at that. Zoda grumbled even harder.
"You know, I really hate you," he declared. Kirby nodded enthusiastically.
"Awesome!"
"Raahhh!"
"Aaahhh!!!"
"Gentlemen I urge calm!" pleaded Zobba hysterical.
Coruscant: Keira was reading through her daily reports before drumming her fingers on desk annoyed. She normally loved her job, but now she couldn't concentrate knowing that Kirby, Zoda, and Neva Kee were still stuck on Tatooine. Sighing, she activated her holocomm.
"Yes?" came the response from her secretary.
"Has there been any news out of Tatooine?" she asked, practically pleading. A sound of papers rustling was heard.
"Sorry but no," came the response as Keira's head drooped onto the desk. "However, we have had a rash of calls from the planet inquiring about us covering volcano damage."
Keira instantly sat up. "Volcano damage?"
"Yes," said the secretary a little bored. "I guess the planet's suffering a little…'indigestion'."
Keira considered this, perplexed. "I don't remember hearing anything on the holonet about eruptions."
"Yeah, which is why legal thinks they're making it up," came the disinterested response and the sound of nails being filed. "I doubt we'll even send a representative after that claim that one of their towns got frozen in a large block of ice and all that other nonsense as of late."
Keira reached over and grabbed her denim jacket and slipped it on. But before she could button it up, she asked one last question.
"What do our contacts in the government say?" she inquired.
"Matter closed per direct orders from the Supreme Chancellor," stated the response. Keira grabbed her blaster and clubs and rushed out the door.
"I'll be on Tatooine!" she declared rushing for her ship.
Unknown Location, Tatooine: Kandor watched on his screen as the drilling unit shook and then Kirby rushed out being chased by Zoda with both his lightsabers extended while Zobba also emerged and followed, concerned.
"Oh hell," said Kandor disgusted. He knew he should just throw the switch and activate his 'final solution', but he was hoping he'd get at least a challenge. With the diplomat and Jabba dead, the other three had fallen apart to infighting or at worst, intense squabbling.
"Oh what do I do?" he asked the heavens of the cavern he was in, but there was no response. Instead a bleeping noise caught his attention and he pressed another button.
"What have you done, Kandor?" demanded the Supreme Chancellor. Kandor laughed.
"Nothing illegal, I know that," he laughed. Kantoros Idis scowled at him.
"And do you really think that this is going to win you any points with the Galactic Senate?" the Chancellor demanded. Kandor nodded enthusiastically.
"Yes," he admitted. "When I wipe out Tatooine's scum and villainy, the galaxy will hail me a hero and the accolades will begin pouring in! In fact, I think you know that as well because you sent Neva Kee and Zoda after me rather than let them stop me on their own."
Kantoris just blinked at him in shock. "You're insane."
A sly smile crossed Kandor's face. "We'll see. Oh by the way, the diplomat's dead."
He shut off the transmission to avoid seeing Kantoris's reaction to that. Before switching over and noticed the pod on its way again towards him.
RRRRRRUMMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"The hell," demanded Kandor as the whole room began shaking violently and he was thrown from his chair. All around him, his equipment fell down onto the floor throwing sparks and metal everywhere. And then the middle of the cave cracked open and lava and fire roared out from the hole that had been created before a massive drill plugged the hole and it stopped. Soon the fans installed removed the smoke from the room and Kandor lay there coughing as his vision cleared. And he wasn't happy with what he saw.
"Diplomat," he growled angrily. Neva Kee was sitting on the surfboard with a frazzled Treadwell as lava dripped off the droid and surfboard.
"Sorry to disappoint, by rumors of my death…," began the diplomat, intentionally trailing off the end of that sentence before looking around at his chronometer.
"Hmm, would've thought the others would've been here by now," he lamented. Kandor gave an evil smirk at that.
"Hate to disappoint you, but…," he began.
CRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The second drilling unit slammed through the wall throwing more debris into the room as Zoda, Kirby, and Zobba emerged from the vehicle.
"I told you I'd get us here," said Zoda triumphantly as he brushed his hands together. Kirby nodded, folding a chart.
"Thanks to my awesome navigating," he added before swallowing the map.
"And my…ummm…knowledge of the pod's controls," Zobba also pointed out.
"Anyway," said Zoda before looking at the scene before them as the other pod opened and Jabba dropped out of it and onto the floor in a huff. "Did we miss anything?"
"Not really," Neva confessed before returning his attention to Kandor. "So, ready to surrender yet?"
"Not really," Kandor commented dryly before adding darkly. "But did you really think those two lava displacement devices were the only weapons at my disposal? I am going to crack this planet in half!"
As the ambassador continued on his ramblings, Zoda reached into his jacket and reached for his lightsabers and twirled them out before both extended their blades while Kirby waddled off and began sorting through the destroying electronics with Treadwell.
"Ugh, how cliché," stated the diplomat a little annoyed at the ambassador's remarks. Kirby motioned for Zoda and the Jedi approached and the two began conversing in hushed tones.
"I suppose you're right," Kandor conceded. "But I've been planning this for years and I highly doubt you have any experience in blowing up planets."
A shadow crossed over Neva's features. "You'd be surprised…"
SHRUUUUUMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then Zoda's lightsaber sliced through Kandor's neck, decapitating him. Neva watched the head roll away in silence before walking over and picking it up as sparks flew from the bottom of it before looking over at Zoda who was poking the other half of the android's body.
"The A-2s always were a bit twitchy," the Jedi commented wryly. Neva Kee shot him a doubtful look before returning his attention to the head.
"Well, it was a boring conversation anyway," he conceded before tucking the head under his arm. "Let's go."
He headed for the Zoda's pod as Kirby swallowed all the electronics before entering into the pod as well and the vehicle rumbled off leaving Jabba alone with the destruction.
Cafeteria: "Ew," said the Judge despite himself at the turn of events this trial had taken. "You don't still have that head do you? If it shows up at this trial I'll immediately rule in the prosecution's favor."
Neva, Zoda, and Zobba all shook their heads in dead silence.
"Good," said the Judge relieved. "Now continue."
Farm: Zoda was working with the junk he had collected from the overturned sandcrawler while Zobba watched him curiously as Neva Kee had hooked up various diagnostic systems to the robot head and Treadwell while Kirby watched mystified.
"Are you sure Kandor wasn't always a robot?" he felt the need to ask. Neva had to think long and hard about that one.
"Well, then we're either screwed or not," the diplomat figured. "Which, truth be told, isn't any different than if he is flesh and blood and is out there now plotting against us."
Kirby felt disappointed by that statement as Neva Kee switched on his diagnostic de vice. "This sucks."
"Tell me about it," said the diplomat as the head came to life and stared blankly at them. The diplomat took one of the leads of the wires and struck it against the generator he had as the head began speaking.
"Cyberdyne Systems Model 10-," began the head before Neva Kee shut it off.
"Oh hell, whoever memory wiped this thing didn't do a very good job before Kandor got it," the diplomat said, extremely aggravated as he hit the lead again.
"I admire its purity. A survivor... unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality," began the head again as Neva Kee again disgustedly shut off the head. He turned to Kirby for inspiration but only got:
"I see you're making little 'head' way," laughed the Warp Star Warrior maliciously. The diplomat groaned even harder than he had in a long time.
"If you start making puns I'll kill you," he growled. Kirby held up his appendages in surrender.
"Okay, I won't," he relented. "I'd hate to lose my head."
The puffball turned and ran out the door as Neva contemplated chasing after him before deciding it wasn't worth the effort.
"Can't we just send him home?" asked Zoda finally. Neva shook his head as he rubbed the bride of his nose as Zoda assembled what looked like a throttle mechanism and a joystick.
"Not until Bob O. fixes his ship, Kirby really totaled the thing," he responded before hitting the lead again.
"Unit 212, registered owner: Kandor Ito," began the head. Neva breathed a sigh of relief before flipping some switches on his diagnostic device.
"At last," said Enkidu pleased as he took out a pen and paper as Zoda gave up on what he was doing and took a seat next to him while Zobba began examining his work on the floor.
"High functions offline and we're set," said Neva adjusting one more switch. "Okay my little friend how 'bout some answers. Who are you working for?"
"Well we already know that," said Zoda cutting in. Neva glared at him and the Jedi clammed up.
"Kaaannnddddor Iiiiito," came the slurred response as Neva adjusted a switch and then looked over at Treadwell.
"That was the truth," he said to the droid. "Any reaction you get other than that is a lie and I need you to monitor the head for any lies that come our way."
Treadwell nodded its head as Neva returned his attention to the robot.
"Is Kandor Ito on Tatooine?" asked the diplomat.
"Yes," came the response.
"Where is he?"
"This conversation can serve no further purpose," came the response from the head as it starting turning red and throwing off sparks.
"Oh, great," complained Neva as he and Zoda took off and the head exploded throwing chunks of it everywhere. "As if this day couldn't get any worse."
The two were slowly getting to their feet when Kirby appeared in the doorway and looked at the destruction and the singed backsides of the two aliens.
"So…," he began whistling innocently. "Are now ahead or behind? Wahahahahaha!!!"
Elsewhere: Kandor Ito sat in the restaurant located at the top of the crashed spaceliner, The Dowager Queen and sipped some caf as he reviewed his reports. The android had done its purpose in letting the Chancellor know the truth and also done enough to whet the appetites of his two nemeses. Now all that remained was to make his final move and that was it, Tatooine was history and he'd finally be free.
Farm: Neva Kee finished rooting through the scorched remains of the android and pulled out a particular component and attached it to his portable scanner and looked at the results.
"I've never seen such a high midichlorian count in a life-form before!" Zoda declared as the ambassador groaned and rolled his eyes and continued reading the display.
"Interesting stuff," he admitted before shutting it down and putting it away and headed to the outside. The diplomat looked into the distance in silence before producing a golf ball and his driver and smacked the ball into the distance.
"Let him mull over that for awhile," he declared and headed off to join Kirby and Treadwell in deciding what their next move.
Dowager Queen: Kandor was about to leave after having finished his meal when the glass exploded next to him and his table flew apart throwing food and kindling everywhere. In its place was a golf ball that had streaked in from out of nowhere and the ambassador looked at it with a mixture of fear and disgust before exiting the establishment amongst the ensuing panic.
Cafeteria: "That reminds me, the Dowager Queen has sunk two levels into the quicksand thanks to your little weather stunt," IG-72 stated as he produced some documents that had math and various pencil marks on a schematic of the ship's position relative to the surface of the planet. "May I ask how you managed to not have the Bar and Restaurant Association members pursuing litigation against you?"
"Find out," responded the Jedi with an evil smirk. Neva Kee just shrugged but offered nothing further. Zobba looked like he wanted to add something helpful but decided against it.
"Moving on…," the Xamster continued.
Farm: The quartet was clustered around the table as usual with Kirby dressed up in a four star general's outfit and riding around the table on Treadwell while carrying a whip in his hands.
"We're going to go in and dominate! We will show our enemies no mercy because they can run, but they can't hide! Now let's go out there and kick their-!"
"Ease down, Patton!" said Neva Kee as he slammed him into his seat. "We're not going to be killing anybody, we're going to stop Kandor's plan to turn Tatooine into a cinder by saving Tatooine before he can instigate his plan."
"…Huh?" asked Kirby bewildered.
"We are going to make things so that when Kandor activates his endgame, it will automatically be nullified," the diplomat responded. "So since Kandor is planning on submerging the whole of Tatooine in lava, I ask you, what is the one thing that can stop lava?"
The four others thought about it.
"Kirby, when he's on a power trip," Zoda said offhand. "Or at least he thinks he can."
Kirby jumped up onto the table. "What do you mean 'think'?"
"Krakatoa, Vesuvius, St. Helens…need I go on?" asked the Jedi pointedly.
"Hmmph," came the response as the pink blob sat back down. "I would've prevented those events if you'd let me!"
"Then how do you explain Tunguska?" asked Zobba finally chiming in.
"I-," he began when realization hit him. "How did you know about that?"
"Because that's why Neva and Zoda won't take me there," said Zobba sorely disappointed that Kirby's stunt prohibited him from visiting the world the two aliens talked about so highly. But before Kirby could argue, Treadwell beeped and the group looked at the droid as it turned to look at the vaporators and then back at them.
"Well done, my stout friend," said Neva pleased. "Hydrogen Oxide is the answer!"
"Ah!" said Zobba understanding at last. "Of course, it's so simple!"
Kirby thought about it. "I thought plastics made it possible?"
"More like ceramics, I'd say," responded Zoda as he held up his putter and gave it a brief kiss.
"You don't even use that except to hit people with it," Neva Kee pointed out, annoyed. Zoda sighed and looked at the club.
"True," he declared and flipped it away before turning back to the group. "So…two parts hydrogen, one part oxygen, right?"
"Yeah," confirmed the diplomat as he produced the acquifyning rod from earlier. "And we'll find it with ol' faithful here."
"So we turn Tatooine into a giant vat of quicksand," Zoda figured. "Well, that would be fun but somehow I see it still fulfilling Kandor's plans anyway."
"Well we'll just cross that bridge when we come to it," said Neva Kee as he headed for the Chariot LAV that was now hauling one of the drilling machines from earlier. "Let's go!"
"Coming!" said Zoda as he brought his rocket powered surfboard with him. Zobba got into the back. Kirby was also about to board when a screech was heard nearby and Bob O came to a halt in his hover-tow truck and dropped off a yellow star shaped vehicle.
"All fixed!" he declared. "I'll bill ya later."
The truck was gone, leaving Kirby in a state of shock. He then looked over at the others with pleading eyes. The diplomat just shook his head in humility before swinging his arm towards them.
"Let's go Kirby!" he declared. The Warp Star Warrior beamed a wide grin and raced to the vehicle and soon the group was underway.