Dune Sea: The Chariot LAV rumbled across the desert with the A-Team onboard.
"Ow!" declared Zoda nearly causing Neva Kee to lose control of the vehicle. "What on Tatooine-?"
He reached into his robes and pulled out the Oscillation Overthruster from earlier and he placed it on the dashboard.
"Hmm," he pondered. "Thought I left this back at the farm…"
Neva Kee shrugged lightly. "Maybe it'll come in handy later on. In fact, I think we'd better empty all our pockets to see what we have available to us."
The group was about to empty their pockets when the diplomat held up his hand to Kirby.
"You get one item to add to our collection and that's it!" the diplomat declared. "So choose wisely."
In the center of the LAV, assorted items such as blasters and lightsabers and other random objects appeared from blasters to lightsabers to briefcases and other assorted items.
"Not much, but it'll do," Neva Kee admitted as he held up a couple random bits and twisted them together. "So Kirby, what's ya got?"
Kirby held up his one item, it was two plastic sides and a metal bar connecting them along with a piece of string attached to the bar that ended in a loop.
"It was a tough choice but there was really only one I could make," he responded truthfully. "My yo-yo."
The Warp Star Warrior flung the yo-yo out and it zipped between Neva Kee and Zoda before returning to his appendage.
"Yeah!" he declared, pleased. "After 100 years I've still got it! Popstar Yo-Yo champion for thirteen years running! Well…cryogenic freeze aside of course."
"Of course," Neva Kee agreed along with Zoda who nodded his head, both leaving out the fact that no one else on Popstar used a yo-yo. But Kirby was a lot better than they were at any rate and could probably tangle with the best…if any existed in this galaxy far, far away.
"Zoda, take the wheel and get us to Beggar's Canyon," Neva ordered as he hopped out of his seat and headed for the back.
"Ooh, can I thread the…," began the Jedi.
"No!" came the response from other three in the back along with Treadwell who revved its engines in protest.
"Fine!" he huffed and turned back to the controls, but was soon laughing evilly to himself at what might've been by threading the tall stone needle in Beggar's Canyon in a vehicle designed to hug the surface of the planet. In the back, Neva Kee was examining the various items and components and meticulously combining them together. Zobba for his part was reading through all the literature he could find in the vehicle that belonged to its previous owners while Kirby continued playing with his yo-yo.
"So do you know what you're making or do you just…'make' it all up?" asked the Warrior curious. The diplomat regarded his contraption with interest as he turned and looked at it from all angles.
"Well, I mainly put together components I know will go together and then see what various things I've made and if they'll go together and make something new," the diplomat explained as he snapped two more pieces together. "It works and sometimes it doesn't."
Kirby laughed at that as light snoring could be heard from Zobba as pamphlets scattered everywhere from his hands. After a few moments of silence, upon which Treadwell headed up front, the blue alien looked at the pink puffball.
"Speaking of cryo, why don't you tell me more about that adventure you said you had with all those interesting characters," Neva offered to get the conversation going again. "I'll still be paying attention even though I'm working with this stuff."
"Okay," said Kirby pleased. "Well, I'm not really sure how it started, after all I expected to be frozen and then immediately come out of it seeing you and Zoda. But instead there's a flash of light and I see myself plummeting to the ground of some unknown planet."
"Weird," the diplomat said as he fished out a hydrospanner and began using it to twist and untwist various screws. "The Chiss never reported anything like that when we picked you up, not that I don't believe that your story happened."
"Well I know you do believe me," Kirby assured him. "Especially after I coughed up that turbolaser."
"And from what I gather from Zoda, you've also acquired something you don't want to reveal," the diplomat continued as he produced a rag and began wiping some oil off a random component. The Warpstar's head dropped at that, before he nodded in response.
"He's right, he's right," the Warrior admitted glumly. "But, I will deal with it, I promise."
The diplomat regarded him carefully before tipping his head at him.
"I have no doubt that you will," he answered. "All the same, if you feel you need help you only need to ask."
Kirby nodded. "So I landed smack into the ground next to a space freighter of some sort with some guy called Dashendar or something and his robot Dweeb-o and some dinosaur looking think named Yoshi."
Neva Kee chuckled to himself at those names before continuing to listen with a broad grin on his face.
"So I join them and we take off and before I can steal the ship and head for deep space, we crash," the puffball continued. "And then a jaunt in the forest later we end up at some castle and there're all these vehicles run by these 'roger, roger' robots everywhere firing lasers and whatnot."
"Sounds like your kind of element to steal everything in sight," the diplomat added. Kirby laughed.
"That it was," he readily admitted. "After the battle died down and we were introduced to a bunch of losers and our loser hosts, Celda and Dink, I stole as much as I could and burned down part of the castle."
"That certainly sounds like something you would do," the diplomat agreed as he attached two more components together.
"So we had our fun, routed the bad guys, saved the Internet and then I'm sucked through a vortex again and I'm being woken up by you guys from cryo," the Warp Star Warrior concluded.
"Crazy," the Xamster concluded. "Wish I'd been there."
"Me too," Zoda chimed in from upfront.
"Achoo!!!" sneezed Zobba as everything flew everywhere in the back and that woke him up. "Sorry."
"Well, we're here," said Zoda from upfront. "Looks like something's going on though, we've got company."
The diplomat finished making his device and headed upfront to see several speeders and other assorted vehicles and tents near the edge of the canyon. The LAV came to a halt and the team piled out and looked at an empty flat plane devoid of life.
"Well this is peculiar," stated Zobba looking around. "Where could they all be?"
"Maybe down there waiting for the race to start?" figured Kirby as he looked into the canyon. The rest approached and saw stands built into the side of the canyon wall and inside the canyon was an assorted array of T-16 Skyhoppers on the ground.
"Of course," said the Xamster snapping his fingers. "This must be part of the Moisture Circuit, they are run about this time of the year. Basically it's an event where the Moisture Famers of the area compete in friendly competitions and there are occasional wager here and there for borrowing of equipment and labor. I've never participated since I haven't been around."
Zoda rubbed his hands at that. "So let's participate now!"
"Except its too bad we don't have a T-16 anymore after Zobba took ours and never brought it back," the diplomat said finishing his line of thought.
"And once again the Hutt has screwed us!" Zoda complained as he threw his hands up in the air and started down the steps into the stands.
"I'll bring it back, I promise!" the Hutt swore as he too descended the stairs. The Jedi laughed at that.
"We'll probably have to take you to court to get it back," he figured. Zobba's subsequent horrified reaction at that was the only motivation the Jedi needed to have made that statement and he lightly chuckled to himself as a result.
"Oh please, the next time we end in court will likely be because of whatever we do to stop Kandor's plans," Neva Kee figured as the group found an empty bench and each took a seat except for Zobba who sat in the row above them after the people there moved out, figuring Zobba was one of the less illustrious Hutts out there. It wasn't true of course and though Zobba did what he could to dispel that image around him, he couldn't immediately prove it to people he'd never met before.
"So, are we here to watch the whole thing?" asked Kirby curious. "It is the end of the world and all."
"Ah, it's always the end of the world with us," Zoda chimed in dismissively. "I say we stay and have a normal outing for once."
"How 'bout it Enkidu?" asked Zobba curious. The diplomat eyed the race and its participants and then at his team who seemed apprehensive as to what his decision would be. The diplomat then turned to look at the briefcase in his right hand and his decision was made.
"We're staying," he declared. "This gives me a perfect opportunity to try out my new machine. So who wants a sno-cone or ice-cream cone, she makes both."
The suitcase popped open to reveal a fully working cone maker and the orders were placed and the machine slowly puttered to life. Below, the T-16s were getting ready to launch, but just before the cones were ready and the hoppers took off, a shadow fell over the group. Looking up, the team saw the visage of Kandor Ito standing on the steps right next to them with a passive look on his face. The team stared at him and he just stared right back. And then the cone maker indicated it was done and produced the first cone, a regular vanilla ice-cream cone. The diplomat took the cone and looked at it thoughtfully before holding it up and silently offering it to the ambassador.
"It's not armed," the diplomat offered light-heartedly as the other cones finished also and he handed them out to the rest of the team. The ambassador watched them suspiciously, but as the others began enjoying their cones in the high heat and the T-16s took off, the ambassador took a bite out of it and recoiled briefly at the cold before taking a seat next to the others.
"Should be a good race this year," the Tatooine ambassador tentatively opened the conversation with.
"I…really haven't been around much to know for sure," Neva Kee confessed.
"I used to come here with my father back in the old days," Kandor elaborated. "Seeing the races, the friendliness amongst the moisture farmers, this is the part of Tatooine nobody really sees. All they see are the criminals and the corruption, not the goodness that exists here. That's why I felt that if we somehow entered the Galactic Republic that things might turn around."
The diplomat nodded. "Sorry we had to ruin your opportunity."
Kandor waved him off. "I don't blame you. If it hadn't been Jabba hiring thugs to destroy his own sailbarge, it just would've been something else that would convince the Supreme Chancellor to call it off. No, I won't allow myself and Tatooine to suffer anymore under this disease of scum and villainy, which is why I'm going to destroy Tatooine before things get any worse."
"I think that's the wrong decision to make, but I suppose that's all there is to be said on that subject," the diplomat figured. Kandor nodded in response.
"So what do you think about the war bill currently on the floor of the Senate?" asked Kandor curious. Neva Kee groaned at that and rolled his eyes.
"That bill to create an army always seems to come up every fifty years or so and is shot down every time. It'll take an actual crisis for it to even have the slightest chance at succeeding I say," he answered dismissively.
"Ambassador Zobba, shouldn't you be part of those deliberations?" Kandor then asked the Hutt. The giant slug let out a massive sight at that statement.
"Normally yes, but this is the one time out of a thousand that the Hutt Council told me to butt out," he answered. "Either they figure I'll endorse an army that'll cause problems for them or I won't in which case they'll try and make one to sell to the Republic at a ridiculous cost. I can only wonder."
Kandor nodded his head. "But do you think it'll ever pass?"
The diplomat and the other ambassador nodded. "It's inevitable," Neva Kee responded.
"Especially if Neva is to be believed and the Trade Federation starts causing problems in a few years," Zobba recalled from a brief conversation he had overheard Zoda and the diplomat talking about. Neva Kee cringed inwardly at that, since it was the truth, but he and Zoda took steps to try and not alter the course of history.
"You really think so?" asked Kandor to the diplomat. Neva just shrugged.
"Well if the current talks of trade restrictions slowly build over time, I could see it happening," he commented. "But that's a long way away even if it does."
"Mmmm," said Kandor dismissively. "Well I suppose the Jedi can defend us against oncoming threats."
"I wish that were so," said Neva Kee sadly as he thought ahead of The Clone Wars, Palpatine and Order 66.
"So how fast can they go?" asked Kirby to Zoda as he sucked on his sno-cone. The T-16s raced past on their second lap to the cheers of the crowd.
"1200 kilometers an hour with open sky," said Zoda. Kirby whistled at that figure.
"Meanness put to music," the warrior quoted. "But how fast have you gone in one?"
"Escape velocity," the Jedi responded rather pleased with himself. That got a hearty laugh from Kirby.
"Nice," he declared. "So what do you think you and ol' red eyes over there will do once all this madness is done with?"
"Move on," Zoda responded truthfully. "We're nomads at heart, staying in one place for a long time just gives us cabin fever. Besides, the longer you stay the more the past can catch up with you."
Kirby nodded solemnly. "I used to think that way too. But what was a temporary stop in Popstar became longer and longer and after spending 100 years in cryo, I realized I cared for these Cappies and their problems that only I could solve. Only I realized it too late and now they don't need me anymore. You can never go home again, you really can't."
Zoda nodded reluctantly. "So you gave up any hope of convincing the Cappies they still needed you and the overgrown puffin of an archenemy?"
The Warp Star Warrior nodded. "As far as Pop Star is concerned, yes, however, the Cappies did some interstellar awhile back and there's a smaller colony called Dreamland with somewhat primitive technology. Dedede and I decided to go there to set up shop, but it'll take him some time to finish getting ready and I figured I'd come here for one last ride."
"But all the same, don't you think the 312 initiative has some pull with the CorSec and those in the Corellian Lobby?" asked Kandor. Neva gave a half-hearted frown at that one.
"Normally I would agree, but after the incident with the rules committee with the soft money bribes fiasco...," he trailed off. Kandor briefly nodded but then shrugged it off.
"I think they'll still be able to pull it off, CorSec and the Corellian System are basically no man's land for the rest of the galaxy and so few other systems would care about it's provisos for mining pulse mass in their own hyperspace jurisdiction in the rest of the galaxy," he responded. Zobba nodded his head in agreement.
"Well we'll see," the diplomat said amicably as he took a lick from his cone. The T-16s crossed the finish line on the final lap and set down to the cheers of its participants.
"That's it?" asked Kirby annoyed. "Nobody crashed!"
"Well some almost did," Zoda noted. "But they had a helping hand 'force'-ing them not to."
"Ugh," said Kirby at hearing that pun as he got up. "I think I'll just mosey on down to winner's row and give my congratulations."
Neva Kee slammed him back into his seat. "I'm not going to be held responsible for explaining how twenty-one competition worthy T-16s suddenly vanished when you walked past them."
"Nuts," came his disappointed response. The diplomat nodded, thankful that that was one crisis averted when he noticed something was missing.
"Where did the cone maker go?!?!" he demanded at the empty bench in front of him. Kirby whistled to himself innocently.
"Oh look at the time, better be off before I get sunstroke," he stated and took off as Zoda's dueling sabers shot from out of his sleeves and snapped on.
"YOU GET BACK HERE!" he roared as Kirby ran off screaming while Zobba chased after them asking for the safe return of the ice cream maker. The trio raced down the stairs and soon was headed off down Beggar's Canyon for parts unknown. The diplomat gathered his thoughts and headed up the stairs with Kandor Ito and Treadwell trailing behind.
"Well this has proved an enlightening conversation," Kandor admitted. "But as much as I wish we could stay and chat forever, it has to end tomorrow."
Neva Kee shook his head in disagreement. "It won't end tomorrow."
"But," began Kandor looking down at the alien when a ship passed by overhead and the resulting shadow made the diplomat's soft red eyes turn into deep red harsh ones.
"It ends today," he declared. And then he and the droid were gone as the Chariot LAV rolled off over the edge of the cliff and down the stands before hitting the bottom of the canyon and racing off after its wayward passengers. After it had done so, the LAV continued deeper into the chasm until it was gone from sight as Kandor watched them go sadly before shaking them at the emotion away and pulling out a detonator and placing his finger on the trigger.
"I thought you might say that," he said. "Goodbye diplomat, as you might say 'may the force be with you'."
He hit the trigger and across the planet, massive explosions churned up sand as out of the two bombs that had been placed on the planet earlier that intended to submerge the entire planet in lava, one had been disabled and another detonated. What the group wasn't aware of was a third bomb that was completely inert and offline. Those two alone had the power to tumble Tatooine off of its orbit around Tatoo I and Tatoo II and plunge it directly into them. Though every instinct in his body was telling him to flee, Kandor would wait it out until the very end. The group that had just left him had foiled his, and others, plans one too many times and he had to see this one to fruition. Everything depended on it.
Beggar's Canyon: The whole canyon began shaking as rocks rained down from above on the helpless LAV.
"Way to go Enkidu," Zoda complained as a boulder slammed down next to them. Neva Kee jerked hard on the wheel and the LAV slingshot around the boulder and kept going.
"I needed Ito to activate the other bombs or we'd never be done with him," Neva Kee yelled back through clenched teeth. "So this is one egg we had to break to get our omelet."
"Okay," said Zoda slowly beginning to understand as another rock came crashing down. "So how do we explode this omelet all over Kandor's face?"
"Simple," said the diplomat as he revealed the acquifyning rod and placed it on the dashboard next to the Oscillation Overthruster. The rod began glowing and then pointed off at the nearby canyon wall. "By going through solid rock."
"Oh great," said Kirby strapping himself in with his seatbelt as the others followed suit. "Another rip roaring entry for the 'Neva Kee and Zoda almost got me killed' list."
"Not this time," Neva Kee promised as the wall loomed ever closer. "Today, I'll succeed in killing us."
Kirby broke out into a smile at that. "It's about time!"
The LAV slammed straight into the wall as a giant boulder came crashing down on top of it.