~ Chapter Thirty — Off To War ~

Jasper POV

I watched my love go off to war, and my heart broke. It physically pained me to watch her go, and I knew it would hurt me until the moment she was back in my arms again.

Our farewell at the door of the castle was simple and brief. She implored me to stay safe for her and I did the same. It was not the parting I wished for, but she was already changed. The mantle of leadership was upon her; she was a general leading her troops into war.

A small hand slipped into mine, and a hand clapped me on the shoulder. Alice and Edward had come for me.

"Are you okay?" Alice asked.

It was a stupid question, and I didn't bother to answer. I was far from okay, as was obvious.

Edward bumped my shoulder. "She'll be fine, you know."

"If it were Alice going off to fight, would you be as sure?"

He stiffened reflexively. "You make a good point. Is there anything we can do for you?"

I turned my attention to Alice. "You can follow their progress."

She shifted uncomfortably. "I told her I would look for Maria."

"And you can," I said reasonably. "But when you are not doing that, you can look for Demetri's path. I know you can't see Isabella if she is shielding herself, but you can at least see their reactions."

She and Edward exchanged a meaningful look and then she nodded. "I will do it, but I will watch Maria first. I made a promise and I don't want to break it."

I pulled her into my arms and embraced her fiercely, pressing a kiss to her spiky hair. "Thank you, Alice."

We walked together back to the throne room. It was crowded with my family and the remaining Volturi. Isabella had left Corin to appease the wives, and Santiago and Renata alone of the guards I knew by name to protect us. There were a dozen of the secondary guard here too. Despite the fact the castle was emptier than I had ever known it, it still felt claustrophobic to me. My anxiety for Isabella made me irascible and tense.

I paced the perimeter of the room, watched by the anxious eyes of my family. I kept my gift focused on Alice, wanting to know the moment her low anxiety shifted to something else portending trouble for us or Isabella.

On my umpteenth pass of the thrones, a hand snapped out and gripped my shoulder. I turned to see Marcus looking at me with a solemn expression. When he spoke it was in a calm tone that did not belie his emotional chaos. "Walk with me."

I had nothing better to do, so I followed him across the room and out of the door into the hall. When he tried to lead me out into the castle grounds I balked. I wanted to stay within range of Alice's emotional climate. He didn't speak, but led us to a stone bench set in a niche in the wall and sat down.

"You are afraid for her," he said. "But you need not be."

I scoffed. "Are you going to pretend you aren't scared too? I can feel your discomfort."

He shook his head slowly. "That is not worry for Isabella, but discomfort for what I am about to do."

"And what is it that you are about to do?" I tried not to show my own discomfort. Irrationally a vision of him attacking me fled through my mind.

"I am going to tell you the story of Isabella and I."

My attention suddenly snapped from Alice to Marcus. I had longed to know more about Isabella and Marcus' relationship, and now I had my chance.

"I know Isabella has told you some of her early years already, but I believe she has left out some salient details for my sake."

I nodded. "She has told me little of you."

He did not smile, but his tense features relaxed somewhat, lightening his expression. "That was good of her, but now it is time for you to know it all. I met Isabella over a millennia ago…"

As he spoke he created clear images in my eyes. I felt as if I was there with him as he met the woman he would one day love."

"Aro had taken the guard to England to deal with a coven of rule-breakers. I expected him home sooner than he arrived, and my anxiety was clear. It transpired that he was slower in returning as he had to accommodate a newborn vampire: Isabella. The moment I laid eyes on her I knew she was something special, though at that time, she was a very different woman to the one you know. She was scared and in pain. She has told you of the difficulty she has when feeding?"

I nodded.

"Well, we did not know it at the time. She was carried into the castle by Antonio—a guard that was with us at the time. Her clothes were stained with the blood of her latest kill, and that seemed to distress her considerably. Sulpicia and Athenodora scolded Aro for leaving her in such a state, and they took her to be attended to. When she returned, she was infinitely better groomed, but she was still extremely distressed.

"We assumed it was the pain of the thirst. You will well remember your early days to this life and the constant burn in your throat. Aro called for a meal to be brought to her. I paid little attention to Isabella during this time. I was still locked in my agony of grief following the death of my mate, Didyme."

As he spoke the name of his true love, his face became twisted with pain. I wanted to comfort him somehow, but I did not know how.

He shook his head briskly and continued his story. "When the meal arrived, Isabella became more distressed than ever. She tried to flee from the human, but Aro ordered her to be held. He said since her first feeding, upon the moment of her awakening, she had reacted like this to every offering of sustenance. Caius cut the throat of the human, and the blood flowed freely. As we knew it would, it tempted Isabella and the bloodlust was upon her. She fed rapidly, but as soon as she was finished she began to howl with pain.

"I had never seen anything like it, though I recognized it immediately for what it was. I had been the same when news of my Didyme's death reached me. Unconsciously, I rose from my throne and crouched at her side. She took one look at me and launched herself into my arms. She saw the same pain in me that she was feeling. It was in that moment that the binding of grief loosened and the first ribbons of love crept toward her. For the first time since my love's death, I was needed."

The first ribbons of love… With those words I knew how the story would end. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear more, but he gave me no choice.

"For a long time the same pattern was repeated. We would force Isabella to feed and she would suffer. For every feeding, I was there, and I was the one to comfort her when the pain took her after. The weeks passed and there was no improvement. In fact, there seemed to be a decline; she withdrew into herself even further. Eventually, it was Caius that wrested the truth from her. Until that moment Isabella had been practically mute, only giving voice to her pain following a feeding. He badgered her for days, trying to make her speak, and eventually, she did. She told us in her own halting way that the people she would feed from would hurt her mind.

"As I am sure you can imagine, we were confused. It was I that came up with the theory that eased her suffering. I ordered a human to be drained and the blood to be brought to Isabella in a flask. She fell upon the blood immediately and for the first time fed easily."

This was the moment Isabella had told me of. The time that she finally began to feel peace return to her.

"The years passed," he said, cutting his story shorter that I believed he intended to originally, "and Isabella thrived. She was still not the woman you know now, but she was better than ever before. As the years passed into centuries, I began to recognize her for what she really was." He took a deep steadying breath and looked me in the eye. "I loved her."

Though in some part of my mind I had always known this, I still felt a thrill of anger towards the ancient beside me. Isabella was mine, not his, to love. As if he had not noticed my reaction he continued.

"I believed she felt the same. She certainly sought my company more than my brothers. As she blossomed, I began to plan. Isabella was never a mere guard, and I knew her rightful place was in a throne at my side, but she never seemed to want that life. Finally, as the 1600s drew to a close, I made my move."

Again a thrill of anger swept through me. I didn't want to hear more, but I could not bring myself to walk away. This may be the most important conversation I would have since Isabella and I discussed our mating. I forced myself to listen.

"I called her away from the guard and walked with her in the castle grounds. I professed my love and begged of her to take me as her mate. I knew in my heart that there was only one mate for every vampire, and Didyme had been that for me, but I ignored the voices that whispered the truth in my mind."

He was selfish, I thought. He knew Isabella had a mate out in the world waiting for her, but he ignored that to satisfy himself.

"I was selfish," he said, echoing my thoughts. "And she knew it. She was scathing of my fumbling explanations and scolded me for my attempts to change our relationship. I became angry and shouted at her; I told her that I was not her father. She became angry in return. She accused me of wanting to curse her to a life alone. She, as you know, did not want to be mated. She had seen my suffering and feared that fate for herself."

I thought Isabella believed mating was to make oneself weak, now I understood the truth. She feared being left broken as Marcus had been. The pieces clicked together in my mind, and I wished she was there so I could embrace her. My poor silly Isabella, never seeing the positive in a situation, only focusing on the negative.

"She left me," he stated it coldly. The pain of the moment was still fresh in his mind. "She fled from me and my brothers. I feared I would never see her again."

"She came back, though," I said.

"Indeed. After three decades, she returned. She returned a different person. Before she left, Isabella was always a darker shade of the woman you know now. She took joy in the fight but little else. When she returned, she took joy in everything. I loved her more than ever."

My hands fisted in my lap. I had hoped, foolishly it seemed, that he would tell me his love had faded in her absence. It was not his place to love Isabella; she was mine.

"I did not attempt to press my case upon her return," he said. "I relegated my love for her to that of a companion for centuries. I believed she would never accept a mate, and that pleased me. And then…"

"Then I came," I said bitterly.

He nodded. "Then you came, and I was forced to make a choice. I could have one last attempt at sharing my love for her, or I could help to orchestrate your mating. I chose to aid you."

I had not expected that. I thought he was going to tell me of his one last stab at gaining her love for his own. I didn't know how to react. He seemed not to have noticed my shock. He continued his tale.

"I spoke with Eleazar and encouraged him to keep the truth from Isabella. I knew if she understood what you were, she would have fled from you. The rest of the story you know better than I. Your mating has been sealed and you are one. My place in her life has been replaced by you, and I am what she always wanted from me. I am a father."

"And do you feel like a father?"

He shook his head. "No, Jasper. I am not her father, and I never will be. I love Isabella as much as I did the day she threw herself into my arms for the first time. You need not fear me, though. I love her so much that my main priority is for her to be happy, and you make her happy."

"Why did you tell me this?" I asked.

"Because you deserved the truth. You suspected it already, I know. Now it has been confirmed."

We sat in silence for a long time as I tried to marshal my thoughts. I didn't know what to say to him. I supposed I should be grateful to him for his assistance, but the cruel bite of jealousy kept those feelings at bay. I didn't want to owe him anything, least of all thanks for bringing Isabella to me. In the end it did not matter that I could not find the words, as a sharp thrill of fear and then pain brought me running to Alice's side.

I cradled her face in my hands. "What is it?"

She gasped and shook off my hands. "Maria! It's a trap. She has Tanya, Kate and Irina hostage. If Isabella attacks, they will be killed."

A shudder swept through me. I loved the Denali sisters; they were family. More important that that was the fact I knew Isabella loved them, too.

"Someone has to warn her," Esme said fretfully. "She can't attack."

"I will go," Marcus said immediately.

"No! I will go." I said hurriedly.

Marcus clapped a hand on my shoulder. "Your job is to stay safe for Isabella. I am the right person for this job."

"And why is that?" I snapped. I felt that he was manipulating the situation to be with my Isabella, leaving me behind.

He smiled ruefully. "Because it is you she loves, not me."