Heaven and Hell URE

Ron the True Fan: Welcome back to Heaven and Hell URE, everyone. As you are all aware, Celestial Being has encountered the Cylons and the Colonials. Here is where things start to get...fraked.

117Jorn: Understatement of the Fracking century Ron.

Ron the True Fan: That was the entire point. Now, on to the mindfrakery!

Near Katharon base

Ron yawned before he got the Katharon base on the horn. "Katharon base, this is Raptor 978:" He said, "We have the Celestial Being MS team directly behind us."

"Copy that, Raptor 978." The Controller of Katharon's base said, "Their mothership landed about an hour ago: their captain and one of their pilots were badly wounded. They're currently in surgery."

"Copy that, base command. Raptor 978 out." Ron sighed as he rubbed his eyes, and Jaden could tell he was tired. "You alright?" His friend asked.

"Barely." The CCE Engineer said, "Haven't slept in 72 hours. That's what I get, though: I was too busy getting Polaris ready for her shakedown, and then this happened."

"Even Colonial genetic engineering can't cure tiredness, it seems." Jaden said, and Ron sighed again. "If it could, I wouldn't do it." He said, "I like sleeping."

Jaden chuckled as he climbed into the co-pilot's seat. "Agreed, I'll take over." He said, "After that, you need to sleep."

"Agreed. We both need it." Ron said with another sigh. "We still need to tell them. But I don't want to tell the story twice. I think we should wait until their people are out of surgery."

"Sounds like a plan to me," Jaden said nodding. "I'm still a bit freaked out though… how could this universe have Gundams? They've got the name and look down to a T… I mean, there is no way this is just a coincidence, right?"

"Who the hell came up with that name, anyways?" Ron asked suddenly "I mean, I never asked before now, mostly because I didn't know or care. Now I'm curious!"

"Kira Yamato was the first to call it that," Jaden said "Or so the rumor goes, apparently his first Gundam, the Strike, had an O.S which read 'General Unilateral Neuro-link Dispersive Automatic Maneuver', which becomes the Acronym G.U.N.D.A.M, all of the original G-Weapons had it, and it sorta stuck in all of its successors, only slightly changing the words used. Like the Destroy Gundams used Gigantic Unilateral Numerous Dominating Ammunition, and ZAFT used Generation Unsubdued Nuclear/Network Drive Assault Module. All of them leading to the same GUNDAM acronym."

"The Morgan uses the Strike Freedom's OS." Ron said, "I just made it easier for the knuckledraggers to work with so they wouldn't have to deal with long startup times for program maintenance."

The Raptor landed gently on the unprepared hanger floor. "Explains why I didn't notice it." Jaden said as the hatch opened, and both men stepped out. "The Darts use the Murasame's OS as well-"

"Let me guess: shorter startup times?"

"We like getting our planes in the air quickly." Ron confirmed with a nod "Start up, take off, blow a Cylon to pieces."

"Commander!" A voice shouted out as they turned to see Klaus running over to them. "I'm glad to see that you're both all right. Now, I believe you owe us an explanation."

"I'd like to wait for the two in surgery to recover enough before telling you who we are, exactly." Ron said, "I think you can understand that I'd like to tell a story once and not repeat it."

"I can." Klaus said, "But Celestial Being might not."

Jaden sighed. "What, exactly, is Celestial Being?" He asked.

Klaus looked at Ron and Jaden in shock, before he sighed. "Either you two are playing dumb or you're not from around the Earth Sphere." He muttered.

"The second one's half-true, at least." Ron said with a light chuckle "Again, we'll tell all of you once those two are awake."

The cockpits in the Gundams opened, and their pilots descended to the floor via ziplines. "This seems to be a universal constant." Ron muttered. Jaden didn't get the meaning of Ron's comment until he noticed that both pilots were rather young, at least by his standards.

"Setsuna!" The one in the blue flight suit turned to face a girl with pink hair in an equally pink uniform. "Feldt?" The pilot 'Setsuna' asked "What happened?"

"We were boarded." Feldt said "Miss Sumeragi and Allelujah were shot, and since we don't have a doctor-"

"You had to come here." Ron finished, and both faced the Cosmic Era visitors. "Relax. we're friends."

Setsuna walked over to the CCE field marshal. "Who are you?" He asked.

Ron chuckled. "Commander Ronald Pinkerton." He said, "You can either call me Ron, Commander or Psycho."

Setsuna raised an eyebrow at the last 'name'. "Who do you work for?" He asked.

"We'll explain when your comrades are out of surgery and conscious." Ron said, "I'd like to explain this only once."

"And why should we believe you?" The Gundam Meister asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.

"How about the fact we saved your asses from that big Red Mobile Suit?" Jaden asked, crossing his arms. "We are not part of the A-LAWS or the ESF, otherwise we'd of just shot you, and you saw what our missiles can do to Mobile Suits. We promise you we'll explain everything after we make sure your own comrades are going to be alright."

Setsuna looked at Jaden, who stared right back in a serious gaze which rivaled Setsuna's own. After about a minute in the stare-off, Setsuna conceded as he sighed "Fine," he said, "But you had better have a good explanation."

"Mr. Grad, my friend and I have had a long day." Ron said, "I'd like to ask for a pair of bunks." Klaus nodded. "Sure, Shirin'll show you to a spare room." He said.

"Thank you."

Battlestar Polaris

While this was going on, Adama was getting a major headache. Something had been appearing and disappearing from DRADIS for the past three days. Shaw kept insisting that it could be an FTL-equipped craft, but that just wasn't possible. To their knowledge, Polaris was the only FTL-equipped ship in this Earth Sphere. Not including, of course, Raptor 987, but that didn't count as if it were Raptor 978, Ron would've informed them that it was him.

Of course, the DRADIS array could be malfunctioning. Unlike normal DRADIS, which used radio detection, visual sensors and infrared, it used all of that plus a new type of sensor technology: subspace detectors. Zeus had been working on that since the end of the First Cylon War, and he finally got the system working. The original array had been tested on Legacy, and Polaris had received the first production warship model while Raptor 978 had the Raptor-sized prototype.

"Colonel Tigh." Adama said, catching Tigh's attention as he glanced at Adama. "Sir."

"Make a note in the log." The Admiral said, "I want this DRADIS array taken apart the second Commander Pinkerton and Commander Takeo get back."

Before Tigh could answer, the contact returned once more. "DRADIS contact!" Gaeta announced.

"I can see that, Mr. Gaeta." Tigh said as he snorted, watching the contact. "3, 2, 1." he counted off, before the contact disappeared from the screen. "Like fraking clockwork. 20 seconds, then it fraking dis-" Then a larger contact appeared. And this time, it gave out an IFF code.

"DRADIS contact!" Gaeta shouted, before his eyes widened "Son of a bitch-Cylon Baseship, bearing 021 carom 097! It's launching Raiders!"

"Contact Hibu!" Adama ordered "Confirm that!" He glared at the DRADIS. "This better be a glitch."

Seconds later, Luna's voice piped in over the comm. "Polaris, Hibu: Cylon Baseship confirmed!" She announced "Where the hell did that thing come from?!"

Adama did not want to engage that thing. His ship was still under repair. "Mr. Gaeta, spool up the FTL drive!" He said, "Plot a jump to Lagrange Point 3!"

"Sir, what about Commanders Pinkerton and Takeo?"

"He'll have to meet up with us later!" Adama ordered "Our position is compromised! Tell the CAP to land NOW!"

Dualla and Gaeta followed his orders, the former ordering the CAP to make a combat landing and the latter plotting a jump to L3 while spooling up FTL drives three and four.

"FTL?"

"Go!"

"Sublight?"

"Go!"

"Status of the CAP?!"

"They're aboard!"

Adama sighed. "Then jump the ship!" He ordered. Polaris jumped just as the Raiders got close enough to fire at the massive prototype Battlestar.

Back at the Katharon base - 4 hours later

Feldt looked at the shuttle that had saved Setsuna and Tieria from the insane mercenary Ali Al-Saachez. It was clearly a prototype, as it was almost completely white with bright markings. It was pretty, in a rough kind of way. Then again, it was built for combat.

"Feldt?" She turned around to find Setsuna standing behind her.

"Setsuna." Feldt said in surprise, "I... was just taking a look at this...whatever it's called."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Setsuna asked.

"It's not a shuttle." Feldt said as she walked up towards it "Nothing like this could be a shuttle." She found what appeared to be the release catch and twisted it, opening the hatch. It nearly knocked her on her ass, but Setsuna was there to make sure she wasn't hurt. He pulled her away from the gullwing hatch as it opened.

This, however, knocked Setsuna on his ass, with Feldt landing on his lap. "...Ow." Feldt looked back, seeing Setsuna wince in pain. It was only then that she realized her position. "Oh, I'm sorry!"

"It's...alright." She got off of him, then took a look inside the Raptor. It was painfully utilitarian, but had enough seats for a crew of three and nine passengers.

"Not very comfortable looking..." Feldt said, looking around.

"Military craft usually aren't." A new voice said, causing both Feldt and Setsuna turned to face a sleepy-looking Jaden. "You know, I don't think Ron'll be happy that you're poking around his Raptor." He added with a small amused smirk.

"What are you doing here?" Setsuna asked, and Jaden shrugged "I left something in the Raptor; came back to get it." He said, "And I should be the one asking you that. What the hell are you doing here?"

Feldt had a guilty look on her face. "I was...just curious."

Jaden sighed. "I don't think Ron needs to know about this." He said, "I'll grab what I came to get, then I'm going to shut the hatch. Please don't do this again." Jaden grabbed a small bag, then stepped out of the Raptor before shutting the hatch. "I'm going back to my bunk. You should get some rest, too. We've got one hell of a story for you later." Jaden walked off, leaving them behind.

Battlestar Polaris - Lagrange Point 3

Of all the things on Adama's mind, one stood out. "Where the hell did that Baseship come from?!" He asked out loud.

Shaw, looking smug, shrugged. "They got here the same way we did, Admiral." He said.

"Captain, be glad I haven't tossed you out the airlock." Adama said, shooting him a quick glare causing him to freeze "President Roslin was extremely tempted to ask me to do just that before Admiral Avalonia asked for you to be put on Polaris."

Shaw shut up very quickly after that, losing the smug look. "Can we send a Raptor to contact Psycho?" Adama asked, "I need him back on this ship to get her combat ready."

"We don't even know where he is." Tigh said, "We'd have to jump into Earth's atmosphere, and that would involve activating the levitators."

"And if activate them, we could overload them?"

"Sir, the matter/antimatter reactor may have been based on Earth technology, but the Commander made it too powerful for its' own good." Gaeta said, "It's dozens of times more powerful than the reactors used on ships like the Archangel. To make an accurate comparison, the sun is a pie and Earth-designed reactors produce power akin to crumbs from the pie-"

"While the reactor on this ship uses a full-on slice?" Adama finished, and Gaeta hung his head. "I wouldn't put it like that, but more or less." He said, "I had to shut it down just so we wouldn't explode: we're running off of the emergency batteries, for Gods' sakes!"

"Mr. Gaeta, I want more capacitors and buffers installed." Adama said, "Build them if necessary. I need a ship that can fight."

Gaeta sighed. "That's a lot of work." He said, "I mean, Commander Pinkerton knows the ship better then I do-"

"He's not here; you are. Do what you can. And tell Athena to get out there. I need her to find Psycho and Takeo."

"Aye, sir."

Katharon base

Sumeragi opened her eyes, then suddenly wished she wasn't awake as she let out a loud shout. "Don't try to sit up." A voice said, and she looked to her left, seeing a woman in surgeon's scrubs. "You took a bullet to the shoulder and a fifty cal to the knee. You're damn lucky that you still have that leg."

"What...happened?"

"Your comrades brought you to this base." She said, "I operated on you and him." Sumeragi looked to her right. Allelujah was in the next cot over. "He took three fifty caliber rounds. He won't be coming out of it for another few hours."

A groan was heard, as if protesting the doctor's claim. "I guess I was wrong. Hell of a constitution."

Allelujah tried to get up, but after a few seconds, he stopped trying. "Where-"

"We're in a Katharon base." Sumeragi said, as Allelujah looked at her. "We're lucky."

"Extremely so, Captain." She looked to the door to see a blonde man in a midnight blue uniform. "Your pilots are also lucky. If it weren't for us, you'd be down two more pilots and two machines."

Sumeragi blinked "I'm sorry. Who-"

"Commander Ronald Pinkerton." The man said nodding "You can call me either Ron or Psycho: the latter's my callsign and works just as well as my name."

Sumeragi nodded. "Thank you. I'm curious, though: how could you have saved two of the Gundams?"

"They ran into an MS that used remote weapons." Ron elaborated "My Raptor was more than capable of engaging the weapons, but your pilots are skilled. you should be proud."

Sumeragi smiled a bit "I am." She said, "Is a Raptor some kind of Mobile Suit?"

"No." Ron said, "To be honest, this really isn't the first time we've met. You spotted it over a prison complex about four or five days ago."

She sighed. "The mystery shuttle." She muttered, and Ron chuckled a bit as he nodded "At least now I've got a name for it."

"I promised your pilots and Katharon's command staff a complete debriefing." Ron said, "I was just waiting for you to wake up: I'd rather tell this story once." He pulled out an old style cell phone and hit a few keys before putting it to his ear. "Jaden, can you round up Klaus and company? Sleeping Beauties One and Two are awake." He nodded. "See you in a few minutes."

15 minutes later

Jaden quickly found the rest of the Ptolemaeus' crew, bringing them to the recovery ward. When they walked in, they found Ron sitting across from Allelujah and Sumeragi, picking at his nails with a combat knife. "Hoi-oh." Ron said with nod "I believe we've got a story to tell."

Setsuna nodded. "Your friend did say you would when Miss Sumeragi and Allelujah were awake." He said, and Ron smirked and nodded.

"And awake they are!" He said, "Take a seat, kids. This is a duesy."

Jaden chuckled. "I'm surprised you know the meaning of that word, considering." He said, and Ron chuckled. "I had six months to learn." He said.

Klaus and Shirin entered the room with another woman with black hair and blue eyes. "Who's she?" Ron asked, pointing at the woman.

"I guess you could call her my former boss:" Shirin said, "Princess Marina Ismail of the Kingdom of Azadistan."

Ron chuckled. "Interesting." He said, "Well, allow me to give you a history lesson."

"We're not inter-"

"It's quite relevant, young man." Ron said, "If I don't tell you, then you'll be interrupting me for hours on end." He waited until everyone was seated. "Around 60 years ago, we created a race of sentient machines: Cybernetic Lifeform Node. This was contracted to 'Cylon'. They rebelled. We fought them in a war that lasted 12 years. Then they just up and left."

"Nice story-"

"Shut up. Last year, they came back with a vengeance. Thousands of Baseships, all armed with nuclear missiles. Imagine twelve planets, 50 billion people altogether, and imagine all of them getting hit with nuclear MIRVs. The result? Only 15 million survivors. And I'm one of them. I was born in the Cyrannus System, across the galaxy in what we call the 12 Colonies of Kobol."

"That's nonsense!"

"Then explain the Raptor! It's equipped with an FTL drive: something neither of you have! Now let me finish." A moment later, he took in a breath. "About 2 months after my ship, the Battlestar Galactica, was driven from our home system, we encountered a debris field. It came from Earth: from a battle fought in the city of Berlin. Took us a while, but we managed to reach Earth with all the survivors of the Fall. I won't bore you with the Valentine War, but I will tell you this: my ship, Polaris, jumped from Earth to Saturn. But it wasn't OUR Saturn."

"Meaning what, exactly?"

"We're from an alternate universe, Mr. Setsuna. I'm from the 12 Colonies; Jaden here is from our Earth. Not sure which country, though."

"We need proof, Commander." Sumeragi said, "Your word isn't enough."

Klaus sighed. "We encountered some kind of fighter when we met them, Captain." He said, "It was like nothing Earth's ever built."

"And if I'm right, you were boarded by a ship that looked like a box?" Ron asked, and Sumeragi gave him a look of surprise. "Frak me. I hate being right."

"Ron, that's kind of logical." Jaden said, "Where there's one Raider, there's a Baseship. And where there's a Baseship-"

"There's enough Centurions to raze a continent and enough Heavy Raiders to transport them all." Ron finished

A ring was heard, and Ron reached into his jacket. "Hang on a second." He pulled out his old phone and pushed a button. "Psycho." He narrowed his eyes. "Fraking hell, Athena, what-" The eyes widened. "Shit. We ran into several sparrows down here and-" He growled. "Frak. Where's Polaris now?" He nodded. "Understood. Get the hell back to the ship." He hung up.

"What happened?" Jaden asked.

"Looks like we were right: Polaris ran into a Baseship." Ron said, "They had to jump to L3." A massive explosion was heard outside. "And just when I thought today couldn't get any worse."

Outside the base

A dozen Mobile Suits sortied from the base to engage the enemy, but they weren't expecting horseshoe-shaped fighters and flight-capable Mobile Suits escorting box-like transports. "What the hell?" The Mobile Suits pointed large rifles at the Anfs and opened fire. The old HRL MSs didn't stand a chance in hell.

Up above was a damaged red Mobile Suit, piloted by local psychopath Ali Al-Saachez. "Tracking you idiots was easy!" He shouted "Now I just gotta let those Cylons lure you out!" The Heavy Raiders landed, then the Centurions disembarked, accompanied by several A-Laws automatons. Katharon ground forces wouldn't be able to hold the heavily armored robots off for long.

Of course, he forgot that they had a Colonial Raptor that still had a lot of bullets and a beam cannon, which blasted out of the hanger and spewed 50mm autocannon fire from the chin gun. "That's the fucker that destroyed my Fangs!" Ali-al shouted as he pulled out the GN buster sword and switched it into gun mode. "Here's payback, you son of a bitch!"

A pink beam hit the weapon before he could fire, destroying it and badly damaging the right arm in the process. "What the-" He spotted a Gundam coming at him, and immediately identified his foe. "Ah, back for more, Krugis brat?!"

A comm panel opened. "Fall back now." He looked at saw his employer, Ribbons Almark. "What?!"

"I cannot believe even you would be stupid enough to engage a Gundam in a badly damaged Mobile Suit." Ribbons said, "Fall back: allow Cavil's forces to let you escape. There will be plenty of opportunities for you to fight them in the future."

Insane as he was, Saachez realized Ribbons had a point. And the Cylons could come back: no loss to them. "Oi, Letos! Keep that Gundam off my ass!" He shouted, as the Cylon-controlled DINNs rushed at 00, but he had a bigger problem: a pissed off Innovade with a VERY big gun.

"DIE, ALI AL-SAACHEZ!" He spotted Seravee, which had charged up to vaporize Arche completely. "Fuck this! Here's hoping that Cylon crackpot was telling the truth!" He disconnected the core fighter and ditched the Arche Gundam, activating a Cylon gift before the beam hit the MS: an FTL drive. The core fighter jumped away before the beam hit.

In Seravee's cockpit, Tieria punched a cockpit panel. "Damn it!" He cursed "He used whatever that shuttle used!"

Ron's voice piped in over a voice-only channel. "The term you're looking for, kid, is 'jumped'." He said, "He jumped."

"Don't call me that!"

"Don't care. I'm in my fraking 70s: I can call you whatever the hell I like."

"Ron, don't piss him off."

"Either way, Katharon needs to evac this base and you need to get the hell out of here." Ron said, "You've still got that Heavy Raider, I hope?"

Tieria blinked, honestly not knowing. "What do you propose, Commander?"

"I install that thing's FTL drive on your ship."

CBS-74 Ptolemaeus II - 5 minutes later

While Tieria was quite against it, Sumeragi had the final word. And the CCE field marshal was right: they needed to get the hell out of there RFN. So Katharon was loading everything onto the CB carrier: supplies, people and Mobile Suits. And while they were doing that, Ron, Jaden and a civilian named Saji Crossroad were busy tearing the FTL drive out of the Heavy Raider.

Of course, they had one major problem. And that problem was confusing the hell out of Saji.

"What the hell are you doing?" Saji asked.

"Popping this thing's brain." Saji didn't get it, and voiced his confusion. "You're pulling out a computer?"

Jaden shook his head "No, he meant that literally." He said, "This thing actually has a brain." Ron found a button and pushed it, releasing a foul stench.

"What the fuck is that?!" Saji shouted, pinching his nose as Ron took aim with the FN Five-SeveN and emptied the clip into the compartment. Each shot was followed by a fleshy impact.

A second later, Ron dropped the weapon and took off his uniform jacket before reaching in and pulling out a lump of flesh. "What the-"

"The Cylons were created by man." Ron cut Saji off "They rebelled. They evolved. This is a step between the Centurions and the humanoid models." He stood up, cracking his neck. "Needed to make sure the thing was dead before we pulled the drive. didn't want it jumping us into space and killing you two."

"Don't you mean all three of us?" Saji asked, but Ron thumped his chest. "Backup life support system under my diaphram." He said "I can survive for limited periods in the vacuum of space." He searched for another panel and pulled it out. "A little present from Graystone Industries after Operation Raptor Talon."

Saji was confused. "Operation what?" He asked, and Jaden looked at him. "Operation Raptor Talon. It was the last battle of the First Cylon War." He elaborated "Ron was one of the pilots involved in it."

"I blew up a Baseship." Ron said, "Trashed my Viper and my entire skeleton in the process. Had to get the bones laced with titanium and my skull needed to be replaced entirely." He dragged out a large contained unit that Saji and Jaden assumed (correctly) was the FTL drive. "DAMN this thing is heavy! We'll need a power loader just to get it out of the turkey!"

Saji was confused once more. "Turkey?"

"Colonial reporting name for this thing." Ron said, tapping the hull of the Heavy Raider before he wiped his hands off and grabbed the jacket off the plating.

"Where're you going?" Saji asked.

"CIC, or whatever counts for CIC on this bucket." Ron said, "I'll need to write an FTL program so we can get the frak off this planet before the Cylons come back!" Jaden and Saji followed him out.

"Why not use the Raptor's program?" Jaden suggested, but Ron shook his head "Wish I could, but it has to be tailor-made to the OS." He said, "Otherwise, it's like putting a 5.56 round in a gun that uses 7.62 bullets: it just doesn't work!"

Battlestar Polaris

The DRADIS picked up a contact, and Adama was damn near ready to order another jump. "DRADIS contact!" Gaeta announced "It's Athena!"

Adama relaxed, tired of constantly being on his guard. "Get her on the horn." He said.

"Aye, sir." Adama picked up onto the phone. "Athena, I need a SitRep."

"Psycho's fine, sir:" Athena said, "He and Commander Takeo ran into a few Cylons down there. He'll be up here ASAP."

"I get a 'but', Lieutenant." Adama said. The Cylon pilot didn't answer for a few seconds. "Lieutenant Agathon?"

"Sorry, sir." Athena said, "Just a feeling that I was being watched. He made contact with some of the locals: he's giving them some assistance."

Adama smiled for the first time since they got there. They made an ally. "Good news, Athena!" He said, "Get back onboard: you've earned yourself some well deserved rack time."

"Aye, sir! Coming home!" Adama hung up the phone, and Tigh chuckled. "What?"

"You look like you're a lot lighter." Tigh said.

"We finally got good news, Saul." Adama said, "Things are looking up for once."

"Knowing our luck, that's not going to last."

Battlestar Polaris - port flight pod

Captain Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace continued to do the one thing she hated: paperwork. She was a pilot, not a pencil pusher. She was supposed to be in her Viper, killing toasters, not filling out forms!

"The Viper CAG's work is never done, is it?" A voice said, and she looked to her right, spotting her MS counterpart, Lunamaria 'Hibu' Hawke. Unlike the Colonial pilots, Luna wore her uniform rather than her flight suit. Starbuck blamed that on her ZAFT training.

"Shouldn't you be doing this, too?" Starbuck shot back, and Hibu just smirked and shrugged "Finished it yesterday." She said, "I've been busy on Viper CAP ever since."

Starbuck snorted. "Came to gloat?" She asked, but Hibu shook her head.

"No; to help." She said, "Seriously, Kara, you need my help if it's this bad."

"It's not that." Starbuck said as she leaned back. "I feel like I'm going to die here."

"you REALLY need me help."

"Not this." Starbuck said shaking her head "In this place. This...universe."

Luna sighed. "Starbuck, we're going home." She said, "We just need to survive long enough to-"

"FUCK!" A crash was heard, and Luna ducked her head out of the room to spot Second Lieutenant Asuka Langley Sohryu on the deck, with enough boxes of bullets to fill an small arms locker.

"Asuka, what the hell are you doing?" Hibu demanded, as the redheaded Extended looked at her redheaded Coordinator superior officer. "Getting these down to the shooting range." She said, "We ran out of ammo during target practice!"

Luna sighed. While Cottle and others offered to remove the modifications made to them, Asuka refused until they did Shinji first. Problem was, Shinji was a Class 4: basically Kira's Extended counterpart, but unlike Kira, Shinji was a shock trooper. Phantom Pain's general idea was to give him a nuclear powered MS, say his block word and get the hell out of there. You don't control shock troopers: you unleash them and wait for them to be sated. And removing the modifications was almost impossible without killing him.

And with Asuka refusing, Mari followed suit. Rei, being a Combat Coordinator, simply volunteered to stay with them. As such, Admiral Adama gave them all commissions in the Colonial Fleet, Shinji being a First Lieutenant, Asuka a Second Lieutenant and the other two girls as Ensigns, at least until they could operate without killing Shinji. After that, they would be discharged.

"You could've asked for help." Starbuck suggested.

"Fuck that!" Asuka shouted "Captain Farron scares the living shit out of me!"

"I thought Lieutenant Colonel Katsuragi-"

"She stayed behind: she's at the Colonial Embassy in Orb." Asuka explained, "Vice Admiral Avalonia sent Captain Farron to take her place."

Luna didn't like that. Yuna Farron was one of the nastier parts of the CCE: she broke people using psychological techniques. No one wanted to be anywhere NEAR her. Only Adama, Zeus, Ron and Jaden could stand being near her for extended periods of time.

"Ask one of the Marines for help." Luna said sighing "And make sure that-" The lights suddenly flickered, then died. She groaned "This is getting annoying. When are they bringing that reactor back online?!"

"When it doesn't blow up half the systems on this ship!" Starbuck said, "Commander Pinkerton overengineered the damn thing!"

"That seems to be his problem." Luna said, "Polaris seems to be overcompensating for something."

Starbuck chuckled. "Smaller numbers for greater firepower was the general idea." She said.

"I'd say." Luna said, "A Mercury's main guns are only half as powerful as one of Polaris' turret-mounted ones. And I REALLY don't want to think about Polaris' main batteries."

"I don't think ANYONE does."

CBS-74 Ptolemaeus II - bridge

While Feldt was good at computer programming, she had no idea how to create a program that would allow them to use the FTL drive without snapping the ship in half. So she didn't have a choice but to let Commander Pinkerton write the program for them. "This is going to be a royal pain." Ron muttered, "I HATE writing FTL operation programs from the ground up." He sat in Feldt's chair, then eyed the keyboard. "Wonderful. I hate holographics, too."

"Well, it's what we've got to work with, Commander."

"I said I hated it. Never said I wouldn't use it." He said as he began typing out the beginning of the program, making sure that it was compatible with the ship's OS as he went. "Can one of you keep an eye out for enemy contacts on whatever counts for DRADIS around here?" He asked, "I'd rather like to avoid a hack job."

Mileina got to her post, then activated the E-Sensor readouts. "We've got something: five contacts, in formation." She said, "They're 50 kilometers out."

Ron shook his head. "Never rains, always pours." He said, "Can you tell how big they are?"

"Too big for long range missiles, too small to be Mobile Suits." She said, and Lockon scoffed. "Easy to take out."

"But why only send out five?" Feldt asked, "One of the Katharon MSs can take one out with ease."

Then three more contacts appeared on the screen: smaller and much faster. And suddenly Ron's radio wen off "Ron, something's going off in the Raptor!" Jaden spoke, as Ron tapped his earpiece. "What is it?!"

"I don't know!" Jaden said, before A shrill alarm blared over the wireless, and Ron's eyes widened. "Oh, shit. RADIOLOGICAL ALARM!"

Tieria turned to face Ron as the CCE field marshal started typing even faster. "What?!"

"That Raider just launched three nukes at us!"

"We've got to stop them!"

"With what?!" Ron demanded "Beam weapons just set them off and you don't use projectiles!" He tapped the earpiece again. "Jaden, get that FTL drive hooked up! We've got three inbound nukes, and I don't think this ship can survive even ONE!"

"NUKES?! Fucking Christ, this day just keeps getting worse!" Everyone started getting strapped in, not knowing if they had enough time for Ron to do what he needed to do.

"Frak! I'm going to need to need to skip a few things here!" Ron shouted "We might damage a few systems during the jump; just warning you!"

Tieria looked at Mileina. "How far?!"

"10 kilometers and closing!"

Feldt looked at the screen as the field marshal continued working. "Commander?!"

"I'm working on it!" Ron shouted "The program's a hack job, but it'll do! Jaden, status on the FTL?!"

"We just got it installed! It's spooling up now!"

Ron typed in a set of coordinates. "Where's that going to take us?!"

"Lagrange Point 3! Hopefully we can rendezvous with Polaris!" He looked out the forward viewport, then spotted the nukes. "Jump on my command. We might be able to disable them using the distortion: Pegasus did the same thing during the Fall."

"3 kilometers! 2500 meters! 2000!"

"Stand by!"

"1500!"

"Stand by!"

"COMMANDER!"

"JUMP!" The CB carrier disappeared in a flash of light, but failed to disarm the nukes, which exploded inside the base. The ship reappeared at Lagrange 3, slightly worse for wear. "Holy shit. Remind me never to do that again!" Groaning was the response to Ron's statement. "Oh, come on!"

Battlestar Polaris - CIC

"DRADIS contact! No IFF!"

Adama wasn't going to waste time trying to figure out if it was friendly. "All hands, battle stations!" He shouted, "Set Condition One throughout the ship!"

Tigh looked at the DRADIS. "Fraking gods! Launch alert five!" He ordered, "Get me some more fraking birds in the air!"

Alarms blared throughout Polaris. "Gun batteries, stand by for target bearing!" Adama ordered, it jumped in, so he had no choice: he had to assume it was a Cylon vessel.

"Sir, alert Vipers are away!" Dualla reported, "Alpha Team is on the catapult and requesting permission to launch!"

"Granted! Power up the reactor and bring us around! Main batteries to bear!"

CBS-74 Ptolemaeus II - bridge

Setsuna was the first to recover from the rough jump. And the first besides Ron and Jaden to notice the giant shark-like warship hanging outside turning toward them. "Commander, I believe we have a problem." Milenia said, and Ron got over to her post, finding the communications system.

"Polaris, Psycho: respond!" Ron said, "Vessel is friendly: officers aboard!" Static was his answer. "Oh, shit." He muttered, "Jump fried the comm! We're mute, and if Polaris fires on us, they'll destroy us!"

"What about the GN field?"

"The main guns are powerful enough to punch through positron reflectors! It'll go right through!" Ron made his way to the door, then tried to make his way to the hanger. "Jaden, get to the Raptor! If you can't tell Polaris not to fire, we're all going to die!"

ZGMF-X10A Freedom - Alpha team lead

Luna took the long way off, taking off from the longer length-wise catapult inside Polaris' port flight port. Her Darts took off from the launchers that would normally be used by Raptors on Mercury-Class ships. "Alpha team, target is at bearing 333, carom 215 at 15 MSU. Engage and destroy!" The ship was directly ahead of them, mostly white with hints of blue. In a way, it looked like the Minerva. "Alert Vipers, arm Titanomachia and target anything that launches from that thing!" "Copy that, Hibu!" Luna took in a breath. "Weapons free!"

CBS-74 Ptolemaeus II - Deck two hanger

Jaden scrambled to get the hatch open. If he couldn't get it open, Polaris would shoot them down. "Come on! COME ON!" He shouted as he forced it open, then got to the ECO panel, starting up the communications system. Once it was active, he pushed the 'talk' button. "Polaris, this is Jaden Takeo! The ship's friendly! Call off the attack! Repeat, Polaris, we're friendly! Call off your attack!"

Battlestar Polaris - CIC

"WEAPONS HOLD!" Adama shouted the moment the voice was heard, halting all actions on the CIC "Hibu, Starbuck, break off attack run!"

"Confirm, Actual: breaking off!"

Adama sighed in relief. He wasn't sure he wanted to fire Polaris' main batteries, anyways: they might end up like everything else on board that was fully powered. And that wouldn't be as easy to fix. "Contact that ship!" Adama ordered.

"Sir, it's not responding." Dualla said, "The jump might've fried the comm system on the ship."

"Then contact Raptor 978!" Adama said, "Pinkerton owes me an answer for this!"

"Aye, sir."

Adama was getting tired of surprises. "Ron had better have one HELL of a good explanation for this!"

CBS-74 Ptolemaeus II - bridge

Jaden made his way into the bridge, looking very ragged. "Polaris-"

"Kid, the fact we're still here means you managed to contact Polaris." Ron said, smiling a bit "Nice work."

Jaden sighed a bit "Still too close if ya ask me." he said, "Right now, Adama wants us on the ship so we can explain what the frack is going on."

"This ship needs repairs as well." Ron said, "You stay here. I'll brief the Admiral." Ron took the rank pins off his collar, then his flight officer wings off the jacket. "Admiral Adama will want someone that has authority on board coordinating with Polaris. I, unfortunately, suit the bill for that."

"But you need to report to Adama." Jaden said, as Ron took off his jacket, revealing his undershirt and flight suit.

"Exactly, which is why..." He said as he did his best to walk over to Jaden before draping the jacket over the younger man's shoulders. "I'm doing this." He smoothed it out and it looked like Jaden was wearing it in normal gravity, who was now blinking in confusion "Wha..?"

"As long as you've got that on, you speak with my authority." Ron said with a small smile "In a way, I just made you a CCE field marshal."He tried to get to the door via walking, but soon accidentally jumped and hit his face against the door. "Godsdamn it, I hate zero gravity!" Jaden was too busy laughing to be supportive. Ron did his best to ignore it. "When, and I mean WHEN, I get to the Raptor, I'll ask Admiral Adama to send a Raptor over to take 978's place." Ron said, "Until the ship's communications are back up and running, we're going to need a Raptor over here to relay messages."

He continued his attempts to walk, which, of course, ended with him tumbling over, head over ass, hitting walls and cursing repeatedly. "I FRAKING HATE ZERO GRAVITY!"

Raptor 348 - inbound to CBS-74 Ptolemaeus II

"Raptor 348, callsign Athena to Raptor 978, callsign Psycho:" Athena said on the comm, "Inbound to docking port."

"Confirmed, Athena." Ron said, "Portside hanger bay is clear. They'll open the doors. You do the rest." The first Cylon to be a mother briefly chuckled. "Copy that, Psycho." She said, "Be advised: the Old Man's foaming at the mouth back on board and we're having power trouble."

"Trouble?"

"Your reactor's too damn powerful for its' own good." She said, and a bark of laughter answered her. "Copy that." he said, "I'll see what I can do."

The portside hanger door opened, and out came Raptor 978. "See you back on Polaris, Athena." Ron said as the sleeker Mk IVA passed Athena's old Mk II, then rocketed toward Polaris.

"You sure we should trust these people, Athena?" She looked back at her ECO, who happened to be Racetrack. "Commander Pinkerton seems to." She said.

"Yeah, that's not an answer, boss."

"Answer enough." She said, and the Raptor entered the catapult, which closed and repressurized, allowing the Raptor to enter the very crowded hanger. Mobile Suits of all kinds were crammed into every available area, and there was barely enough room for the Raptor to maneuver, let alone land. A number of people were nearly crushed or ran over by the rather large Colonial craft before Athena could set it down. "How the hell could Psycho fly in this shit?!" Racetrack asked.

Athena shrugged. "He's a hell of a lot better at flying then we are." She said, "Activate the wireless: we're this thing's voice now."

Racetrack snorted. "Great: we're glorified massagers now." She said.

"Better then hack." Athena retorted as she opened the hatch, and nearly ran into a girl in a pink uniform. She looked VERY familiar, but Athena couldn't place it.

"Welcome aboard." The girl said with a small smile "I'm Feldt Grace. your friend, Mr. Takeo, is on the bridge."

"Thanks." She stuck out her hand. "Lieutenant Sharon Agathon. You can call me Athena, though-"

"It's your callsign." Feldt said nodding, "Commander Pinkerton told us the same thing about his...other name."

"Psycho." Athena said with a small chuckle "I know. It's well-earned, though."

Feldt shook her hand, and Athena tried to step onto the deck. Too bad that, like Ron, she wasn't used to zero-g. "Frak!" She floated upward. "Please be careful! Don't-" BANG! "Hit that railing." Racetrack stuck her head out. "I'll just, uh, stay here, if you don't mind."

Battlestar Polaris - CIC

Ron walked into CIC, not wanting to meet the eyes of one of the few people he truly feared. And no, I'm not talking about Tigh. "Commander..." He quickly froze, then looked toward Dualla's station. Adama, looking very much like an angry god. "Admiral-" He began but was cut off.

"While you were down there, my ship has been trying to kill us!" He snapped, "We can't activate the reactor without overloading half the systems on this ship!"

Ron sighed. "I'll brief you on what the hell's been going on, then I'll fix Polaris' power issues." He said "Or at least, I'll try." Both approached the plotting table. "This Earth Sphere is controlled by something akin to the Alliance called the Earth Sphere Federation. They have a force akin to Phantom Pain called A-Laws, but there's a bigger problem than that."

"Meaning?"

"They're allied with the Cylons, or at least they're being controlled by someone allied with the Cylons." He elaborated "We got attacked by a squadron of Raiders down there. At the same time, a Heavy Raider attacked that ship. Then just before we jumped, the base we were at was attacked by a force of Raiders, Heavy Raiders and Letos."

Adama nodded, knowing that the latter was the Colonial reporting name for the AMF-101 DINNs used by the Cylons. "They were led by a Mobile Suit from this universe." He continued, "Someone's fraking with us."

"And we all know that I hate being screwed with." Adama said, "Commander, I'd like to meet with their captain as soon as possible."

"There's two, actually: one's a lead in a rebel organization called Katharon, the other's the CO of that ship."

Adama nodded. "Dee, launch another team of Vipers and three flights of Mobile Suits." He ordered "And inform that ship that we'll be escorting them."

"Aye, sir."

CBS-74 Ptolemaeus II

"Bridge, this is Racetrack: Polaris is launching Vipers and Darts." Racetrack said on the Comm "They'll be escorting the ship. Admiral Adama also wants to meet with the ship's captain and the Katharon guys RFN."

Sumeragi, who was well enough to take command, looked at Jaden. "RFN?" She asked.

"It's Colonial shorthand." He said "Basically, Right Fucking Now."

Sumeragi chuckled. "Tell him that we'll be there in about an hour." She said, "We'll be heading toward one of our bases, though, so Polaris might need to disappear for a while."

Jaden grabbed the CB radio-style mic from the portable wireless. "She says yes, but Polaris isn't exactly stealthy."

A few seconds later, Racetrack relayed the response. "Commander Pinkerton just told me that stealth won't be a problem." She said "He's launching Sierra Flight."

Sumeragi looked at Jaden, who shrugged. "Don't look at me." He said, before a flight of Raptors took off from Polaris. All had domes on their dorsal and ventral sides.

Jaden's eyes widened "There is no way." He muttered, "He might be good, but that's not possible. Even if it was, there's no way that-" Small beams of light shot between each Raptor, emitted and reflected by the domes. Seconds later, Polaris disappeared.

"What the hell?" Lasse shouted, "Optical camouflage?!"

Jaden shook his head. "Mirage Colloid." he said, "Ron modified the same system that Patrick Zala used to hide GENESIS. But that thing needed an AI to work and the Colonials outlawed AI development! Even the CCE obeys that rule!"

Battlestar Polaris - CIC

"Mirage Colloid system online." Ron said smirking "Prisms are stable."

Adama looked at Ron. "Commander, would you mind explaining?" The Admiral asked.

"Sierra Flight are Raptors with Mirage Colloid prisms." Ron explained "Patrick Zala used a similar system to hide GENESIS during the First Bloody Valentine War."

"Commander, that needed an AI to work." Adama said, "And if you developed an AI-"

"I didn't develop it." Ron said, "I modified it and copied it. The law's extremely vague on that."

Adama realized exactly what he was saying. "The Stargazer." He said, "You got your hands on the Stargazer's AI."

"Yes, sir, I did." Ron said smirking "The DSSD weren't exactly happy with me, but when we gave them that Galactica-Class that they're using as their new base of operations, they quickly shut up."

"Commander, use of AIs is illegal."

Ron sighed in annoyance. "Sir, I didn't have much of a choice." He said, "Besides, the Secretary of Defense and the Quorum of Twelve authorized development of the Sierra System. And they knew about the AI from the start."

"You are tempting fate, Commander!"

"I know that." Ron said, "I hate the fact that I have to use AIs for this. But how many people do we have left, sir? Answer that, and you know that I had no choice."

Adama wanted to snap Ron's neck, but he knew two things: one, he needed the son of a bitch. Two, he was right. "I hate it when you have a point." He growled out.

Meanwhile...

While Celestial Being and the Colonials were busy repairing their respective ships, Ribbons Almark was resisting the urge to shoot John Cavil in the head. Thanks to him, their Resurrection technology was back online. Shoot the bastard, he'll just come back in a new body about an hour later. "Cavil, my friend, there was no need to use those nuclear weapons on that base." Ribbons said, "A-Laws could have dealt with them."

Cavil snorted. "Please." He said, "Your fraking merc got his ass handed to him by a fraking Raptor! Clearly, I needed to step in and get the job done!"

'Urge to blow Cavil's brains out...rising...' Ribbons thought as he sighed "I also need those GN drives intact, not irradiated."

"Well, good news for you, then!" Cavil said, "Grandpa's still a fraking genius! He managed to jury-rig a Heavy Raider's FTL drive to work with that ship of theirs! They jumped into space; don't know WHERE, exactly, though."

"I have a few ideas." Ribbons said as he accessed Veda, sending information to Homer Katagiri about a CB base at L3. It was the most likely place they would go. "I suggest you prepare a Baseship to deal with that Battlestar. In fact, prepare two. That thing seemed more heavily armed and armored than a normal Mercury-Class."

Cavil downed the rest of his brandy, then got up. "Frak, I wish I could put myself in a Centurion's body!" He muttered, "This flesh and blood shit my parents forced on me is annoying!"

Ribbons ignored Cavil easily, focusing on the Gundam that would soon be his. And on the Battlestar that he would take over once Cavil weakened its' defenses.

Shuttle inbound to BS-135 Polaris

Both ships were now hidden from sight: the Ptolemaeus in part, Polaris completely thanks to Mirage Colloid. "How the hell did he do that?" Lockon asked, looking at the now invisible Polaris

"Mirage Colloid bends light." Jaden answered "Doesn't matter if you're moving or not: the cloak is nearly perfect. Of course, it's expensive as all hell to make warships that use the stuff regularly. My ship, the Hell Vulture, was designed as a stealthy hit-and-run attack vessel before I...liberated it from Phantom Pain." Setsuna made a note to find what the hell he was talking about later as the shuttle entered the cloaking field. It was only up close that they realized how BIG Polaris was. One of the flight pods could easily fit Ptolemy inside it! "Whoa. Who the hell NEEDS something this big?" Allelujah asked.

"The Colonials do." Jaden said, as the shuttle landed on a lift, and it began descending into the hanger. At this, everyone felt the same thing Jaden felt when he boarded Galactica 7 months earlier: gravity where it should not have been.

"What the-"

"Gravity? That's impossible!"

Jaden simply chuckled. He was in their boat once. The shuttle entered the hangar, and came to a stop as deckhands swarmed around it, making sure it was safe. Chief Tyrol gave Jaden the thumbs up. "Ok, we're free and clear." Everyone (Jaden, Sumeragi, the Meisters, Marie, Feldt, Klaus, Shirin and Marina, the latter insisting to come) left the shuttle, and they ran into Ron, who was wearing one of his spare jackets. And he looked pretty bad. "Admiral Adama must've been pissed." Jaden said, smirking.

"Oh?"

"You look like you got glared at."

"I-"

"RONNIE!" Ron froze. Thankfully, this wasn't Nova Avalonia. It was almost as bad, though, as a red-haired woman jumped the CCE field marshal. Feldt looked at the woman who seemed to be trying to rape the man. She looked like a red haired, older version of Feldt!

Unfortunately, Cally decided to blow the whistle as soon as she saw the two. "CYLON! CODE BLUE!" She shouted, as Five Marines ran into the hanger, Cx4 carbines raised and ready to fire. The Meisters and Marie pulled out their sidearms, pointing them at the Marines. Ron got the woman off of him, then stood up.

"Stand down!" He shouted.

"Sir, you've gotta admit-"

"I know they look alike!" Ron shouted "We're in another universe! Someone's gotta look like someone from our side! LOWER YOUR FRAKING WEAPONS!"

The Marines followed the command, but only to a point. "Protocol dictates that-" He began, but Ron held up a hand to shut the Marine up, then looked at the visitors. "Don't want to do this, but I'll have to ask the young miss to submit to a blood test." He said, "If only to prove that neither your operator or my...subordinate...aren't Cylons."

Sumeragi looked at the Marines, then her people. "Feldt, go with the Commander."

"Ms. Sumeragi-"

"Feldt, please." She looked at Ron. "If she's hurt-" Ron pulled out his knife, then cut his finger. "I will make sure she won't be harmed." He said, "My blood is my word, Captain."

Sumeragi blinked, but nodded. "Please follow me." Ron said to the pink haired girl "Doc Cottle'll be done with your test in less then an hour." The redhead tried latching onto Ron's shoulder, but the Marines grabbed her before she could successfully do so."You're all getting raises for that." Ron said gratefully.

As soon as they were out of sight, Sumeragi faced Jaden. "What was that about?" She asked, "And who-"

"The woman was Captain Yuna Farron." He said, "Never stay with her for more then five minutes: she destroys peoples' minds. As for what happened...The Cylons were created, rebelled and evolved. They look, feel and sometimes even THINK they're human. Good news is that there's only a few models. But there are many copies."

"And they have a plan?" Sumeragi asked jokingly, and Jaden snorted in amusement. "Not so sure anymore." He said.

117Jorn: And there we have it! Chapter 3 is done! What should we expect next chapter Ron?

Ron the True Fan: That's for the readers to find out. What I will tell you is that the Cosmic Era isn't done crossing over yet. And guess who's joining us next time? (Camera pans to Patriot-112)

Patriot-112: Wazzup Beeotches! That's right, I'm helping out in the next chapter! Even though I'm new working with Ron, I think it's not gonna waste my time. What say you, my friends?

Ron the True Fan: You know by now that my answer will always be 'yes'. The question is, is the Cosmic Era and Anno Domini ready for three of the best authors on the site?

Patriot-112: Why don't we just find out... (Pulls out a bottle)...after a good ol' bottle of rum. Sorry, Ryu rubbed off me.

Ron the True Fan: Both universes are screwed. I just know it. We'll see you guys next time! Ja Ne!