Chapter Ten

Charlie

It was overcast but dry for the service which was something and I was amazed at the number of people who came to pay their respects. The Quileutes stayed outside but they were there and I saw Jake crying, he'd really loved Bella. I just hoped his fiancée would make him happy. Edward sat in the front row looking solemn but other than that emotionless while Esme dabbed her eyes with a hankie, holding Carlisle's hand tightly. The others were there too although I couldn't see Alice which surprised me, she and Bella had been so close. After the minister finished he asked if anyone would like to say a few words and some of Bella's friends told little anecdotes which made me smile, Bella's first day at school, the way she met Mike Newton, she hit him on the back of the head with a volleyball! Angela Webber told how Bella had helped her with her graduation invitations, spending all day with her, how kind she had been. Then Edward stood up and silence fell over the congregation. He started by telling everyone about the first time he had seen Bella, in the school cafeteria, how she had captured his heart and how proud he had been to make her his wife. He finished with a quotation from her favourite book, the one she had with her when she boarded the plane, from Wuthering Heights, which summed up his feelings.

"I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"

His voice broke as he finished speaking and Carlisle came to escort him out. As the music played Edward came back in having pulled himself together and stood at my side to thank people for attending. I saw that Jasper had already left along with Emmett and Rose leaving Carlisle and Esme with Edward to speak to Bella's friends.

Rose

I heard a hiss from Jasper as Edward started speaking and put a hand on his shoulder in comfort so I felt him stiffen at Edward's words and as soon as the music started he was up and out of the church. Esme got up and followed him so Carlisle asked me to go after him and send Esme back so they could go to the house with Charlie. I found Esme searching the churchyard for Jasper,

"Esme what's the matter?"

"Jasper was so upset I just thought I should try to find him. He's been acting very strangely and I think Alice's absence has put more pressure in him. I wanted Edward to make peace, after all it wasn't Jaspers fault that Bella took that particular flight but they seem to hate each other all of a sudden. Have you spoken to Edward?"

"Yes. He wont tell me what the problem is, just that he doesn't want anything to do with Jasper. It's hard all round but I really think Edward is overreacting"

"Rose he's just lost his mate have a little charity."

"I'll find Jasper Carlisle, wants you to go back in, then go back to Charlies with Edward"

She was reluctant to go but Emmett took her hand and led her back to the church while I carried on the search for Jazz.

Jasper

I listened to Edward's hypocrisy without comment, I'd felt his emotions and knew he was thrilled at all the attention he was getting as the grieving husband while happy to have Tanya at his side. They had started a relationship while he was still waiting to say goodbye to his dead wife. What kind of a man could be so callous? I was ready to leave when I heard his final words and something hit me. As soon as I could I was out of the church and running back to the house. Inside I went upstairs to our room and upended my flight bag. At the bottom was a tattered copy of Wuthering Heights, the copy Bella had left at the apartment when she packed. I had found it when I got back and read it cover to cover over and over, knowing how much she loved that book. I would have sent it back to her but I never got the chance. Edward had been mistaken...the book hadn't been on the plane with her. I held it to my chest, the nagging gnawing getting worse with every hour I was in Forks. This house was full of memories, of Bella, of Alice, of our lives together. A life I could never get back nor did I think I wanted to any longer. Alice still hadn't rung and I had no idea what she was doing, I hadn't been back to college although I didn't think dropping out would make much difference to me. Hearing the others coming I put the book back into my bag and went downstairs guarding my thoughts from Edward, no more stomping around in my head for him. I just recited philosophy quotes. Let him make something of those! He and Tanya went to hunt with Emmett and I sat with the others listening to a dissection of the service.

"I thought Edward's quote was really poignant especially as she loved that story"

"Yes, the book was in her case with her hairbrush and other things. Edward broke his heart when he saw it"

I looked at Carlisle puzzled,

"Bella packed Wuthering Heights?"

"Apparently she never travelled without it. Edward recognised it straight away."

I got up suddenly,

"I need some air. Excuse me."

Outside I found a quiet spot to consider what I'd heard. Wuthering Heights was in Bella's case that was found in the wreckage? Carlisle knew it for a fact so Edward hadn't made it up. Did Bella carry two copies? I couldn't see why she should but if not then something was wrong. The copy I'd found in the bedroom was hers neither Alice nor I owned a copy but if it was hers why did they find one in her case? Two copies sounded crazy but what other explanation was there...had she bought a new copy? The one I found was very old and tatty...which led me to wonder why I hadn't heard from Alice. Had she seen something? Was she hiding something? I had no idea but things just whirled in my head and I decided I couldn't stay in Forks so I went back and made my apologies. Rose offered to drive me to the airport and we left before Edward got back.

"You're not coming back to the family are you?"

I shook my head,

"Edward and I wouldn't be safe in the same room."

"Please don't fade from our lives Jazz. I miss you."

"I'll keep in touch".

"What happened between you and Alice?"

"I have no idea Rose. She just left before Bella turned up and never came back. I only heard from her once or twice and nothing that made any sense."

"You were fond of Bella weren't you?"

I looked at her startled,

"Is it that obvious?"

"No I don't think anyone else has picked up on it, but its true. Did you like her more than you should have? Edward seems very jealous."

I didn't answer but I guess that in itself was answer enough for my sister because she nodded her head and took my hand

"Jazz, I'm so sorry. Everything is a mess, Emmett is heartbroken, so are you, Edward is an enigma, Charlie is devastated, Bella touched so many lives. She was a very unusual human."

She dropped me off with a kiss to the cheek and I booked in for my flight, two hours to wait but better here than another minute at the house.

The flight was uneventful and I spent it reading Wuthering Heights again slowly, savouring Bella's scent on each page, unable to make sense of the puzzle, two copies of the same book, why? Having it close eased the pain just a little but I was still glad to get back to Denver and our apartment. Still no Alice as I unlocked the door and walked in, and no sign she had been here while I was gone. I threw my clothes in the laundry bin and ran a shower leaning against the wall and letting the water run over my body until it was cold then I threw on a pair of sweats and sat on the couch picking up Bella's book again and holding it close to my face to breath in the slowly fading scent of its owner. The pain started to gnaw at me again and I cursed loudly. Why? Why did I have to fall in love with Bella Swan, my brother's wife and a woman who was now dead and gone. If Edward had changed her as promised then she'd still be here, or at least in Forks, safe and ready to smile if she saw me again.