Disclaimer: I do not own or profit from this writing. OCs and plot belong to me.

Chapter 24: Rejection

"Should I be worried he hasn't come by yet?" Eleanor asked Gretchen. "Not even to yell at me."

"Allan goes to great lengths not to show his anger around you. Especially this intense anger," Gretchen explained. She knew Allan worked hard not to show how angry he was after her father because that deep level of anger terrified Eleanor.

"How can he be thoughtful after this?" Eleanor gestured to Tom who had finally fallen asleep.

"Isn't it a good sign?" Gretchen asked. "Come on, Ygrainne," she said lifting the girl to her feet. "Time for bed."

"I'm not a baby like him," the four year old said with a sniff.

Gretchen and Eleanor shared a look. "Of course not, love," Gretchen smiled. "But even big girls need their sleep. Auntie Elle and I are going to sleep as soon as we finish cleaning up."

With a sigh Ygrainne changed into her nightclothes with Gretchen's help. Gretchen tucked her into the trundle bed and told her a story that had her soon falling asleep. "This will have to do," Eleanor said as she placed a sleeping Tom in the basket that was used as a bassinet.

Gretchen sighed. "The garden is coming along nicely. We can harvest soon."

"I'll help you," Eleanor said. "At least till I decide what to do."

"You are staying, Elle. That's final. I hated you had to flee…" Eleanor snorted at the understatement. Being stoned was not 'having to flee'. "You and Tom are staying here with Ygrainne and me. We'll make our own family," Gretchen insisted.

"I can't let my mistake taint you and Ygrainne," Eleanor explained.

"Pfft," Gretchen waved it off. "That is the least of my problems with that turd walking around."

They tidied up the other room as Tom and Ygrainne slept, finding little chores, such as darning, that had to get done now that they had a spare moment till they finally retired.

Eleanor was about to climb into bed when a figure at the window startled her. She clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle any noise she might have made—she didn't want Tom to wake up before his feeding.

"Nora," Allan whispered.

She made her way to the front door and waited for him to meet her there. She waited for him to talk. They simply stood in the doorway for what felt like ages. "Not to be funny, but I have no idea where to begin."

"Good night?" she suggested.

He grinned at her saucy answer. At least some things hadn't changed. "I thought you looked even more beautiful when I saw you at the convent, you had put on some much needed weight," he said.

She snorted. "If you have just come to tell me …"

"No," Allan cut her off. "I am just saying you look even more beautiful than I remembered, and I had plenty of time to think about you. That has got to be the longest boat trip in history."

Eleanor sighed. "What do you want to know, Allan, that can't wait until tomorrow."

"Did the mercenaries, or your father, or anyone… did they bother you when I was gone?"

"Yes."

He had braced himself for that response but hearing it still hurt. "Who?"

"Guards, servants, villagers, mercenaries," she drawled. "The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. The only one who didn't was my father who would simply have said I brought it on myself."

"Don't talk like that," he said angrily. He ran a hand through his hair trying to think. He had done nothing but think all afternoon and evening and still didn't know what to think. "Did anyone…" he couldn't even phrase the question.

"No, no one forced themselves on me."

Relief flooded through him. Only to be replaced by another fear. "So…"

"So?" she wasn't going to make this easy for him.

"The babe…"

"What about him?"

"That's Tom."

She simply stared at him. Of all the questions to ask. "Yes, his name is Tom."

"Is he mine?"

"Yes." Fear was coiled in her belly, too. She had been dreading this conversation so she had planned to avoid it entirely by leaving. Allan's arrival had spoiled her plans.

He simply nodded. "You thought he wasn't?" she asked angrily. She heard Tom stir and begin to cry so she slammed the door on Allan and rushed to get Tom before everyone else woke up. Ygrainne mumbled angrily at having been woken up but fell back asleep soon after Eleanor took Tom to the other room.

She sat at the chair in the simple room, looking out at the stars, as she rocked him back to sleep. "What are we going to do, little one?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Everyone pestered Allan but he wouldn't budge on a single detail, not even after his late night visit to Locksley. Robin had invited Tuck to join them for dinner and over dinner invited him to join them in Sherwood. "I am honored, and I accept," he said eyeing the sullen Allan. "I will have to travel back and forth, but it is an honor to fight in your cause."

"I can't take it anymore," Much complained seeing the sullen Allan. "What is going on?"

"I have never seen him like this. Ever," Marion said as Allan stayed to himself. "I mean, I never imagined Eleanor to refuse Allan, but if she had, I didn't imagine him acting this way." She always pictured him sweet talking her into taking him back, or arguing with her, or something a little more proactive.

"I think this is something different," Robin said. "I don't know what, but it feels like something different."

"He will share when he is ready," Tuck said.

"Easy for you to say, you already know what it is," Much complained.

"We can make some drop offs tomorrow in Nettlestone and Clun," Robin announced. Everyone looked at him in surprise, it was a day early for those drop offs. He winked behind Allan's back. "Allan, if you need to go to Locksley again…"

"Yeah, thanks Robin."

Everyone shared confused looks, shrugging. They would learn more on the morrow.

Eleanor and Gretchen woke early, Tom also deciding to have his morning meal at dawn. Gretchen made them something to drink as Eleanor tiredly fed Tom. Again. He had been fussy all night, as if trying to assure himself that his mom was back again. "Do they ever eat food?" she wondered.

"Ah, you will miss having the excuse to hold him close," Gretchen teased. "I see the way you dote on that babe."

"He is an adorable one," Eleanor grinned, caressing Tom's face. After Tom was fed, Ygrainne was woken and dressed, breakfast was made, the room tidied up after. "Can I play with Jess?" Ygrainne asked.

"Come on," Gretchen said opening the door. Ygrainne bounded out. "I have no idea where she gets so much energy," Gretchen sighed as she followed after. After making sure Ygrainne could stay with Jess in her mother's cottage for the morning, Gretchen returned and the two of them set out to get as much work as they could done without Ygrainne underfoot.

She was pulling the last of the weeds in the garden, happy to see Gretchen's garden had done so well. It wouldn't be enough to last through spring, but it would get them though winter. Hopefully. "Nice to see my garden being tended to," a male voice spat out.

Eleanor looked up and glared at the mercenary. "You know quite well this is Gretchen's," Eleanor said, standing and wrapping the shawl tightly around her.

"It will be mine soon enough," Gideon, the mercenary, smirked, sensing Eleanor's discomfort and timidity.

"We won't leave," Gretchen vowed, coming up beside Eleanor. "You can take your threats and bully someone else."

"No one else is as pretty as you, except maybe your friend. Even with her reputation," he sneered.

"Go back and crawl under whatever hole you've crawled out of!" Gretchen yelled. "This won't be yours so long as there's a breath in my body."

"It doesn't have to come to that," he said cryptically. "You remember my offer."

Gretchen sneered. "That won't happen so long as there's a breath in my body, either."

After spitting on their garden and a final threat that if they involved their outlaw friends he would do more than just take the cottage, he left. "I'm not good in these situations, Greta. I told you I can't help," Eleanor pointed out.

"You did fine," Gretchen encouraged. "You have come a long way, Elle."

"Mainly thanks to Allan," Eleanor admitted.

"Thanks for what?" Allan said coming up behind her.

Eleanor stomped her foot. "How do you still do that, Allan a Dale? Sneaking up on me at the worst times?" she demanded. "What do you want now?"

"I spose we need to marry."

She broke into a fit of laughter making Allan stare at her.

"Ey, I wasn't being funny," he said angrily.

She waved at him as she caught her breath. "You think you can swoop in her, charm me, and ..."

"Make an honest woman of you," Allan said.

Eleanor glared at him. "So you think the same as everyone else? It is your fault I'm not an honest woman!"

"That's why I was saying…"

She held up a hand to stop him. "I am not going to marry you, Allan."

"I don't see how you can argue," Allan said. Gretchen had returned at that point bringing a fussy Tom and Eleanor took him from her. "That proves my point."

"Shhh," she hushed Tom, rocking him. She glared at Allan. "You think you can just leave me, Allan, and pick up where things left off? That I'd gladly welcome you back in my bed?"

"Why are you being stubborn?" he yelled, making Tom cry.

Eleanor glared at him as she carried him back around to the front of the cottage. "Can you change him for me?" she asked Gretchen. "I'll be just one minute," she said turning to Allan.

"Why are you being stubborn?" he repeated. "This is what has to be done."

She snorted. "I'll live with my reputation."

"And let him be known as a bastard?"

"Are you just set on angering me?" she demanded. "I won't let a thing tarnish Tom. I am only staying for the winter," she decided. "Help Gretchen, although I am not the help she needs," she said. "I can't do what needs to be done. But come spring I won't be a burden to her any longer."

"You are not a burden, Nora."

"Don't Nora me," Eleanor said.

"Have things gotten that bad between us?" Allan asked surprised. Even during their worst fights in the castle he had called her Nora.

"You left, Allan," she choked out.

"We had to save Marion and the king," he explained.

"And what does that mean to me? What does the king mean to me? You are off chasing demons and crowns while I was here to fend for myself! If you think Nottingham with the sheriff is bad, do you have any understanding what it was like being run by that mob of mercenaries?" she demanded angrily, bordering hysteria. "or what its like when the people you've worked with join against you with the mob who want to stone you and the unborn child you carry?" she demanded. "You left me, Allan."

"God, Nora," Allan said trying to reach out but she stepped back.

"No. I knew you couldn't have both, Allan. And I knew you would be part of Robin's gang. Tom was just the unforeseen consequence of what I wanted from you," she said. "Just go, Allan."

"So that's it? You don't have anything but contempt and regret for me?" he demanded.

"You don't even know what I feel, Allan, let alone what I feel for you," Eleanor said as she turned and returned to the cottage.

Allan watched her walk away from him. He didn't know what to say, or do. He knew she didn't want to see him right now so he returned to Sherwood, and discovered the gang on the edge of the forest, clearly having observed everything.

He didn't even have anything to say to lighten the mood so he just walked on past them. He didn't stay to see if they had sympathy or censure, he wasn't sure which he deserved.

The longer he walked the angrier he got. He had to leave. He didn't know, hadn't even suspected she was with child.

What if you had known?

He slammed his fist against a tree trunk. The more hints he got about what happened to her the past year horrified him, he was sure he didn't want to know the whole picture.

"This is how you react? Walking away?" Little John's voice demanded behind him.

"You walked away, John," Allan reminded him.

"And I regret that action every moment of every day," John told him.

"John, you and Alice were married," he reminded John. "You left her because you became an outlaw. You didn't even know about little Little John."

"That's my point, Allan," John said. "I left the one I loved, and she suffered from it. Then when I found out about it, I couldn't do anything to help. And that tears me up inside to this day. I'll never get to know my boy. That doesn't have to be your fate."

"I'm not meant to be a father, John."

"So you never thought about it with Eleanor?"

He shook his head. "I thought about her, of us, but not of anything like that. I mean, look at me. What kind of father would I be? I'm just a fast talking outlaw with nothing to recommend himself except himself. I mean, look how royally I messed up."

"She had faith in you before. She obviously loved you before. You can win her back. If you want it, Allan," John advised.

"I'm not being funny, but this is not how things were suppose to go," Allan sighed.

"She probably told herself the same thing."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Why are you back?" Eleanor asked surprised when Allan appeared later that evening. "I told you Allan, I don't want anything from you."

"Just let me talk," he said forcefully. "For a year I thought about you. If we didn't have to rush off to find and save Marion, I would have sent word myself to you about what was happening. I swear."

She eyed him but nodded. At least she was listening.

"For a year I thought of you, of coming back to you. You were right, I needed to be part of Robin Hood's gang, I wasn't the good man you saw until I was part of it," he said. "But it wasn't …"

Guy was riding into the village and Allan jumped aside to hide from view. The episode brought a smile to Eleanor's face it was so ridiculous. "Bye, Allan," she snickered as she walked off.

He tried to take the fact she at least listened to him as a good sign.

Walking into the camp to find everyone bombarding him with questions wasn't unexpected. "I'm not being funny, but the lot of you gossip worse than the servants in the castle," Allan grinned as he took the plate of food. He took a quick look and saw Tuck was gone.

"Well? You know we are curious," Djaq said.

"About what?" Allan asked and they groaned.

"Eleanor and the baby," Marion said. "Is it yours?" she was worried about the answer. She wanted it to be Allan's—if it wasn't, she couldn't imagine how horrible the experience had been for sweet Eleanor.

Allan nodded. "He is."

"Well?" Much asked. "Does this mean you are getting married? What will happen then?"

"You don't have to worry about that part yet," Allan said. "She won't marry me."

They looked at him as if he was trying to be funny. "Absurd. Of course she is going to marry you," Will said. "I mean, no offense, but her reputation is ruined and so is your son's."

Something inside twinged at hearing it come from someone else. "She won't. I told her we would and she refused."

The others chimed in on how that was ridiculous. Marion raised a hand to get a word in. "I can believe it, sort of," she decided. "But she knows it is going to have to happen."

"She is trying to get to London."

"I'd bet anything that is what she was going to meet Tuck about," Robin realized. "When he went looking for her the day the sheriff took her."

Realizing Tuck was involved more than they knew made him wish the man was there. "She wants to get away, to London."

"But…" Marion said thinking about it. She realized what Eleanor was trying to do, go far enough away that no one knew her or her history so she could start over, and decided to keep it to herself. "Why is she being stubborn? Did she say?"

He decided to keep that to himself. "Alright, what are you going to do, then?" Will asked.

"I think the bigger question is what do you want, Allan?" Djaq asked kindly. "This has been a big surprise for you. You need time to think. Eleanor has had a long time to think. You need to, too."

He nodded. He looked at Little John. He knew what John wanted him to do. But what he said still held true—he would be a horrible father.

He waited until the following evening to return to Locksley. They had two travelers through the forest which was good to start replenishing their stockpile. In the year they were gone even more people were depending on Robin's generosity.

He came out of the forest on the back side of their cottage. He was debating on whether he should wake her when he didn't hear any noise coming from inside. The shutters were all closed but after a few minutes, just as he was about to return, he heard movement inside as a baby started to cry before someone hushed and hummed a tune. He heard the footsteps lead into the other room and he saw the window open after a few minutes. A blanket was swaddling the baby but he could see Eleanor's face as she watched outside and looked down on her baby. Their baby, he corrected himself.

He ran his hand through his hair. His plan had been simple. Return to Nottingham, find Eleanor, woo her—he had no doubt that she would be angry he left with no word. But he thought she would have been pining away for him. And he would show her the gifts he bought her on the way home.

And then what, Allan? Have her set in Nottingham under the sheriff's thumb? That part of the plan had always been a little less coherent, he figured it would come to him once he had won back Nora. Nora was always the strategist, she would tell them what they would do.

But winning her back now would be even more difficult. Winning her back… he realized his train of thought and realized he still wanted her back. That hadn't changed, he realized with a grin as he watched Eleanor close the shutter after a last look up at the stars. Some things hadn't changed, he realized. His Nora still relied on the stars for peace, and he still relied on Nora.

Thanks to House of nickel (thanks!) CrazyLilReadHead (my sister and I got into a long debate hashing out Allan's reaction. Glad you thught it was perfect!) Katieee (have a fun Holiday! Allan/Nora, and Gretchen/Much have a long road ahead of them. And Guy is definitely a good guy in this story ^_^) Lady de Winter (Allan and Nora have a lot to work out... but I am a fan of happily ever after) and 111 (I hope you liked this chapter too!)