Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Hood, BBC, BBCA, nor do I profit from this writing.

Chapter 47: Similar Circumstances

All day Tom had been fussy. It was late when the outlaws returned to eat dinner after making their drop offs, Eleanor and Gretchen stayed in camp as they always seemed to do, but today was different as something seemed off with Tom. Something seemed off with all of them after the meeting with the royal family, which had certainly caused a stir; the knowledge Richard was coming home had caused high hopes in everyone, and knowing he was abducted certainly was a call to worry.

Eleanor paced throughout the entire camp and forest with him. Usually if he was held he would stop fussing, but this was different, nothing seemed to calm him down. Eleanor couldn't seem to pacify Tom no matter what. Some irrational fear crept up in the back of her mind that made her afraid that the outlaws would get angry as they tried to sleep and Tom continued to fuss.

More than anything, though, was the knowledge that something was wrong.

She was constantly checking but he didn't have a fever. Finally that evenging he seemed to stop crying to Eleanor's relief. She returned to the camp to find the outlaws had retired for the night. She was laying Tom down in his crib but he started to fuss again.

She held him close and grabbed her cloak with the other hand, half-hazardly throwing it over herself and took off as fast as she could while carrying the boy.

She was panting as she pounded on the front door of the manor house. A servant answered in her nightclothes. "Please, I need to see the lady Marguerite," Eleanor said as Tom's cries pierced the night.

Marguerite arrived before the servant even left. "Elle? What's wrong?" Marguerite asked concerned.

"He has been fussy. Something's wrong, I just don't know what," Eleanor said panicked. "It's not just his desire to be held, I can tell something…"

"Let me see," Marguerite said picking up the boy from his mother's arms. She walked into the kitchen with Eleanor on her heels, the same servant already lighting candles from the coals in the stove. "He's been going to the bathroom regularly? Eating regularly?" Eleanor nodded. Marguerite felt but there was no fever. "He's about a year, right?" Marguerite asked and Eleanor nodded again.

Marguerite stuck a finger in Tom's crying mouth. "Ah ha!" Marguerite said happily as Guy walked in sleepily. "Tante Marguerite knows what's wrong, little one," she cooed to Tom and passed the fussy baby to a surprised Guy. (a/n: Tante=aunt)

"What's wrong?" Eleanor asked, terrified, from the seat at the table Marguerite had forced her into.

"He is getting his first tooth," Marguerite said looking for something in the maid's spare cupboards. "Here we go, this should help," she said as she made a paste with the herb.

Eleanor looked back and forth between Marguerite and Guy. If she wasn't so worried it would have been hilarious seeing Guy holding her son. He clearly thought he was doing something wrong, he looked completely befuddled. "Why am I holding him?" Guy asked as Marguerite came and put the paste on Tom's gums.

"Because you look adorable holding a baby," Marguerite teased as she kissed Tom's forehead. "because I was making this and Eleanor looks dead on her feet."

Eleanor leaned her head in her hands as she studied the couple. If Guy had children, he would be terrified. The thought made her snort. Why were strong, strapping men frightened by the concept of fatherhood?

Tom's cries settled down after Marguerite applied the paste. She handed the bowl to Eleanor and took a seat across from the young mother. "It hasn't cut through the gum yet, he is going to need more of this."

"I was so terrified…"

"There is a story in my family that when Henri, my eldest sibling, was cutting his first tooth my father rubbed some ale on his gum to numb it and then drowned the rest of the bottle himself," Marguerite grinned.

"What is it about men and fear of fatherhood?" Eleanor asked Guy. She wanted an answer.

"Don't ask me, I don't have to deal with it," Guy pointed out.

"You are the only one here who can answer Eleanor's question, though," Marguerite pointed out.

Guy sighed. "Why don't you just ask Allan?"

"We always seem to argue when we talk about parenthood," Eleanor admitted.

"You guys always fought, but you always made up rather quickly," Guy reminisced. He looked down at the toddler he was still holding. He had finally stopped crying and was falling asleep. Marguerite and Eleanor shared a look and smile; it was sweet watching Guy, of all people, cradling the boy.

"Fear," Guy finally said.

"Of what?" Eleanor asked puzzled.

"I think most men would rather face a war than raise a child. It's so much responsibility… its another little life that relies completely on you," Guy said studying the baby.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" Marguerite suggested. "Anne's room is empty now. There is a crib in the attic, I'll have someone fetch it," she offered. Eleanor nodded, exhausted. She picked up Tom from Guy and followed Marguerite up the stairs to the room. It was another oddity of the night, sleeping upstairs in the family wing.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

After a restless night of sleep, Allan was the first to wake. Something had felt off all night. Eleanor wasn't in bed. That wasn't odd, she often woke early to feed Tom, take a walk, do the laundry or something.

Tom wasn't sleeping either. Allan walked out to see if Eleanor was walking or working outside.

There was no sign of either of them. Allan rushed back inside and woke Gretchen. "Did Nora say anything to you last night?"

Gretchen shook her head sleepily. "No, I just assumed she walked Tom asleep since he finally stopped crying."

Could she have walked too far? Fallen in the dark? He noticed for the first time her cloak was gone and he rushed back out of the camp.

Think… he told himself. Eleanor wasn't stupid, if she went walking, she would have stayed close to camp, stayed to the paths. She wouldn't risk Tom…

He had been so fussy. He knew Eleanor was worried about him. Could she have gone to get help? Why wouldn't she ask Djaq?

Because Djaq doesn't know anything about babies… but Marguerite did.

He took off running towards Locksley, arriving as the sun was rising. If Eleanor came all this way, in the middle of the night, she had to have been extremely worried for Tom. He let himself in the house silently and slipped up the stairs. No need to wake the household & have an angry Guy, playing at King of the Manor, try to strike him down.

He started checking rooms. He found her in the third bedroom upstairs, sleeping peacefully on the bed. A crib had been brought in and Tom was sleeping quietly inside it, some sort of green goo drooling out of his mouth.

Eleanor woke up, her maternal instincts kicking in she thought. She opened her eyes to see Allan standing over the crib, looking down at Tom. How to describe his face? Concerned, yes. He was concerned about Tom.

It tugged at her heart strings.

He looked over at Eleanor. "Ey."

"Allan?" Eleanor asked sleepily.

Allan came and sat on the bed beside her. "I woke and couldn't find you…" he looked back over at sleeping Tom. "Is he alright? What's the green stuff?"

"An herb. It takes away the pain," Eleanor said. She had placed a bit on her gum and it left a minty taste but left the area without feeling.

"What's wrong?" Allan asked concerned.

Eleanor clasped his hand in hers. "Just his first tooth," Eleanor said with a grin. "God, I thought for sure he was dying of something, I was at my wits end."

Allan lent down and kissed her temple. "You shouldn't have come on your own. What if something happened to you? Or it was something worse with Tom?"

"I would have sent word to you if it was something worse. As it was, Marguerite figured it out in five minutes, and we spent the rest of the evening mesmerized by the image of big, bad Guy holding Tom. It was a sight to behold," Eleanor grinned.

Allan grinned at the image she painted. "I'm not being funny, but that is something that has to be seen to be believed." He laid down on the bed and Eleanor rested her head on his chest. He ran his hands through her hair, thinking.

Eleanor rested easily against Allan, his fingers running through her hair relaxing and comforting. She would braid her hair at night out of habit but Allan had a habit of undoing it. The thought brought a smile to her face.

Allan studied her as the early morning light filtered in. Tom slept peacefully on in his crib and Allan was left thinking about how he had been worried for Eleanor, but also for Tom. "Nora, what do we do?"

"Hmm? 'Bout what?" Eleanor asked, sleep lacing her voice. "Just endure Tom's teething."

"What are we going to do?" Allan clarified. "This, the fight against Vaysey, won't last forever. The ransom will soon be paid. Then what do we do?"

Eleanor sat up, her hands running through her hair. "That depends."

"On what?" Allan wondered.

"On what you want."

Allan watched her run her fingers through her hair as she began to find a brush to fix her hair and pin it back, ignoring Allan as if he wasn't in the room.

That wouldn't do.

Allan got up and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I've been an ass, I know," Allan confessed and Eleanor's face would have made him laugh if he wasn't trying to be serious. "But I don't repeat the same mistakes, Nora. What I want hasn't changed."

"Which is what?"

"Today I want to spend the day with you," Allan said, kissing the back of her neck.

"You have drop offs with Robin today," Eleanor reminded him.

"Do the drop offs with me," Allan suggested. He saw the surprise in her eyes over the suggestion and he smiled. "Ey, I want to spend the day with you. We'll do the drop offs in the morning and then have the afternoon for ourselves," he promised. A plan was forming in his head as he talked. "I have a lot to talk about, a lot to make up for."

"What do you want, Allan?" Eleanor repeated the question.

"Spend the day with me and find out," Allan teased making Eleanor roll her eyes. Allan leant up to capture a quick kiss that turned into a slow, leisurely kiss. "I have to get a few things, I'll be back in half an hour," he promised. Eleanor nodded as he quickly walked to the door.

Tom had woken up sometime during their conversation. He was sitting up in his crib watching his parents. When he saw Allan coming he gave him his brightest grin and reached up with his arms.

Allan grinned as he picked Tom up out of the crib. "I'm not being funny, but he has got my charm."

"Heaven help us all, then," Eleanor drawled, smiling.

Allan wrinkled his nose. "And he needs a changing."

Eleanor rolled her eyes as she took Tom from him. Allan grinned, kissed her quickly, and went to put his plans into motion.

Half an hour later Allan returned and Marguerite, who quickly volunteered to watch Tom, watched as the couple left hand in hand to handle the drop offs at Clun and the other villages to the east.

The morning went smoothly as they worked together. Eleanor didn't realize until then how much she missed working with Allan.

They were at the last village and Allan was chatting with one of the locals. Eleanor saw something achingly familiar out of the corner of her eye. She made a show of not looking at any one person in particular for too long, but she saw enough to tug at her heart.

"You ready?" Allan's voice asked behind her.

Eleanor took one last sweep of the village and nodded. Allan grabbed her hand and they walked leisurely through the meadow once they left the village. Allan was clearly up to something, but Eleanor didn't ask what; she wanted to be surprised. She was happy to have the entire day with Allan, just the two of them. How long had it been?

Too, too long.

She didn't want to ruin the moment by talking about any of the complicated matters they needed to discuss. Instead, they talked about anything and everything else.

"Here," Allan announced.

Eleanor looked around to see they were in the middle of a meadow. Flowers and shrubs were everywhere but not much else. "Here, where?"

"Lunch," Allan announced and ran over to the tree line. A basket was left under one of the trees. He brought it out and laid out the blanket first.

"What's this?"

"Just the next part of our day," Allan grinned. He leaned over to where she was sitting and stole a quick kiss. "I had Marguerite's cook prepare it for us. Marguerite promised it would be here waiting for us," Allan explained as he spread out the food that was inside the hamper.

Eleanor grinned. She couldn't explain it, but this was just one of the most wonderful days she had had in such a long time. She was doing something to help others, she was with people she trusted, actually felt like part of a family, and she was with Allan. "Best be careful or I'll let all this flattery go to my head, Allan-a-Dale," she teased.

Allan grinned. "Not being funny, but you deserve to be treated like this every day."

"See, this is just going to inflate my head even more," Eleanor said as she grabbed some of the food. It tasted even better for the fact she didn't have to cook it.

Lunch was divine: the food was delicious, the company perfect as they spent most of their time flirting with each other. "Have you made up your mind, Nora?" Allan finally asked.

So they were getting to the hard questions. "To stay or go?" She clarified and Allan nodded. "I haven't left, have I?"

"Why not?" Allan asked.

"You want me to go?"

"That's ridiculous. That's the last thing I want. I just can't understand why you would consider staying, Nora. I've been an ass, and things were not easy for you."

"You don't sound as if you are trying to convince me to stay," Eleanor asked confused. "And why would you sleep in your hammock?" she finally asked. She had wanted to know for so long, it was driving her crazy. "If you want me to stay here, then why stay away? I know I said I wasn't ready for anything that intimate again, Allan, and I'm not, especially in the middle of the camp, but …" she trailed off. She was not going to admit to having missed cuddling with him, not when he didn't even explain himself.

"It sounds like you missed me, Nora," Allan grinned impishly. Eleanor elbowed him. "Ey!"

"I want answers Allan-a-Dale," Eleanor frowned.

"I thought you would want space to decide what to do. I know you and Greta would put Tom and Ygrainne first…."

"I'm not as self-sacrificing as Greta seems to be," Eleanor sighed. "I seem to be stuck, even when I know I should go. I told myself for the year you were gone I should move on, and still I stayed…"

Allan traced fingers lightly up and down her back. "The first thing I did as soon as we reached English soil was look for you. Even Robin knew I couldn't be trusted to do anything else first. When I couldn't find you…" his voice trailed off. "I couldn't tell you when I left that we were going to the Holy Lands. Then I was fighting with Robin again, and having to go after Marion. There wasn't time to come to you. I wanted to, Nora."

"I know," Eleanor whispered, gently placing her hand on top of his.

"I thought of you the entire way to Acre. I thought of how to still be with you while you were in the castle, hoping you would have a plan," he grinned, happy to see she smiled. "But I was kidding myself." The frown suddenly flooding her face made him fight back a laugh. He brought his hand that had been rubbing her back up to brush back some of her hair that had fallen loose. "I realized when we were in the desert what I wanted. Robin and Marion started their vows and I realized I wanted that to be us. Just not in the middle of the desert, half the world away from home."

Eleanor laughed as she mentally repeated everything he had admitted. She had turned down his proposals so many times when he first found out about Tom, she didn't want him just because he felt obligated. She couldn't live with him if he fell out of love with her. But … this didn't revolve around obligation.

"So what do you want, Allan?" Eleanor repeated the question.

"What I've wanted since I first caught a glimmer of light in that bloody dungeon," Allan said as he turned to grab the bag they had used for drop offs. He took out a package, the only thing left in the sack. It was light and flimsy, she hadn't even noticed it was in the bag. "I want to make up for you ever doubting you were what I wanted, Nora."

She eyed the present surprised. Allan smiled to himself; he knew Nora wasn't use to getting gifts, even from him. He loved surprising her and wanted to spend the rest of their lives surprising her.

Eleanor gently untied the ribbons. They in themselves were beautiful so she couldn't imagine what was inside.

Green flooded her vision as a beautiful green fabric was revealed, gold threaded to inlay with the emerald shade. "It's beautiful," Eleanor smiled as she ran a finger over the fabric. It was unlike anything she had seen except for some of Marguerite's gowns.

Allan grabbed it and draped the shawl over her shoulders. "I saw it in a market in the Holy Lands and thought of you," he grinned. He ran a lock of her hair through his fingers.

"You are an idiot, Allan-a-Dale," Eleanor pronounced, laughing at Allan's puzzled face. "Why on earth didn't you give this to me before? It would have smoothed things over, I'm sure."

Allan grinned sheepishly. "I had plans of wooing you with gifts when I got back, I knew you would be mad at me. But we've been busy: you were in the dungeon, then people wanted to stone you to death, then I found out about Tom…"

His fingers caressed the side of her face and she leaned into them. "I wanted it to be a special moment," he finally said.

This time she was the one to caress his face as she leaned in to kiss him. "You are special, Allan. And you make me feel special. Aggravated at times, but special." She leaned in to enjoy another kiss, Allan's hand holding the back of her head as the other snaked around her waist.

"What do we do then, Nora?" Allan asked some time later.

"I don't know," she admitted.

"I'm not being funny, but you always have a plan. You are like Robin in that respect."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment," Eleanor decided.

"It was a compliment for Robin, actually, for being like you," Allan teased making Eleanor laugh.

"Honestly, though, I don't know. Even if I had a plan, it wouldn't do any good. I know what is best for Tom, but I can't make myself leave. So I am staying."

"I would only go after you, Nora."

She eyed him wearily. "I don't make the same mistake twice, Nora. If you left, I would go after you."

"You're lucky I'm not going to test that declaration. Lets just worry about surviving this war with Vaysey," she decided as she leaned her head against Allan's shoulder.

xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx

Eleanor slipped silently from the bed that night, making sure not to wake Allan. A quick glance told her Tom was sleeping peacefully. She was thankful he was sleeping through the night, unlike his mother. Eleanor still woke up twice a night, only once on a good night, and she wondered if she would ever break of the habit.

She pushed such thoughts aside. Tonight was not the night to deal with her ghosts but someone else's.

Gretchen eased out of the bed she shared with Ygrainne, tucking the sheets back around the girl. The two women grabbed their shawls—not the ones from Allan—and slipped silently out into the night. Neither spoke for sometime, afraid their voices would travel back to the camp in the quiet of the night. (a/n: i didn't show it, but Allan bought a gift for Gretchen abroad as well)

"I want to help just as badly as you do, Elle, but what can we do? What if she isn't like you and she isn't ready to leave?" Gretchen asked.

"All we can do is show her a way out and hope she is strong enough to take it," Eleanor said.

They had to go slow since the moon didn't give them a lot of light but they finally made it to the village Eleanor and Allan had done drop offs earlier that morning. "How do we speak with her?" Gretchen whispered. "We can't knock on her door."

The thought of it made Eleanor shiver. Getting the girl in trouble was the last thing Eleanor wanted to do. "We'll just wait. You can go back to camp if you want." Eleanor was going to wait all night if she had to.

"Hell no, I'll wait all night if that is what it takes," Gretchen vowed making Eleanor grin.

"Greta, thanks," Eleanor said, startling Gretchen. Before Gretchen could respond the door to the cottage they were watching opened silently and a small figure slipped silently into the night.

Eleanor had expected her to come out. After all, the night when everyone else was passed out was one of the few times she had to tend to the beatings her father and brother had given her.

The girl silently made her way to the stream at the end of the village. Gretchen and Eleanor followed after her and waited till she was in the forest before they made themselves known. "Shh," Eleanor said, raising her hands palm up when the girl jumped at seeing them. "I was here earlier today," she reminded the girl. "With the drop offs."

"I remember," the girl said, eyeing the two women. "What do you want? What are you doing here now?"

Eleanor tried to make herself as unthreatening as possible and didn't make a move to reach out to the girl. "I wanted to talk with you. My name is Eleanor, this is my friend Gretchen," Eleanor introduced.

"Willa," Willa nodded, arms tightening around herself. "I should go back."

"If you don't wash the dirt off, you risk the wounds getting infected," Eleanor said as Willa tried to back away. "And working with a fever makes everything even more miserable," Eleanor said knowingly. "They think it is your fault for getting sick, it just shows how incompetent you really are, and then you get in more trouble for allowing yourself to get sick and your work slacks."

Willa was looking down at her feet but her head snapped up when Eleanor started talking. "I'm… it's not like that, you make them sound like…"

"I know what it is like," Eleanor tried to explain.

"Why are you here?" Willa asked. "Just let me bathe in peace."

"Bathe? The stream is icy cold, it is the middle of the night," Gretchen commented. "You should be allowed to bathe in your own home, Willa."

"You don't determine what I am allowed, I am well taken care for…" Willa's voice trailed of.

"Everyone looks at you, they all know or at least suspect, but no one speaks up, no one stops to ask if you need help, if you need a friendly shoulder. They all silently allow this to happen, giving their consent by turning their backs on you as my village did with me," Eleanor said angrily. "Have you even ever heard a kind word, Willa?" Eleanor asked. "Do you live with your father or your husband?"

"My father, for now… I am to be wed next week."

Eleanor and Gretchen couldn't tell if she was happy or not over that. "Is he like your father?" Gretchen asked gently.

Willa shrugged, looking at her feet again. Eleanor crouched down by the stream and motioned for Willa to join her. "Let me help you with your wounds. I've picked up a lot of tricks over the years."

Willa nodded and knelt. Eleanor was gentle and careful not to make any sudden moves. She knew what it was like, to be like a skittish colt. Gretchen took a seat so she wasn't towering over the other two.

"My father and brothers believed a woman had a proper place, and it was their job to train me," Eleanor started talking. "I ate after them, whatever was left over, which wasn't usually much. I was trained like you would a dog, punished like one, too," Eleanor admitted. "Everyday I am amazed I survived. But I haven't, not completely."

"You got away," Willa pointed out.

"You can, too," Eleanor said, pleading for Willa to believe her. Willa had to believe she could escape, want to take that risk. "I was set to marry one of my brother's friends. I knew he was just like my brothers, I would simply be exchanging one demon for another. I would not risk having a child: a son would be raised to be just like them," Eleanor spat out. She couldn't even contemplate what it would have been like for a daughter.

Eleanor took a pouch out of her pocket. "You can leave too, Willa. We will help you. Robin Hood can help you, too. You can leave the shire, far enough away they won't find you. Start over where you will meet friends," Eleanor grinned, pointing to Gretchen. "She has been my backbone, until I grew my own."

"I can't," Willa shook her head.

Eleanor dug a hole in the ground and placed the pouch with the money inside it, then placed a large rock over where it was buried. "It is what I have left over from working at the castle in Nottingham, Gretchen and I pooled our money. Willa, we can't force you. I can only tell you that there is a better world, there are good people, ones who fight for you. Even love you."

Willa shook her head, standing. "You were the lucky one, then. Because we can't all escape. I can't escape," she said as she quickly returned to her cottage before her absence was missed.

Gretchen and Eleanor watched her as the first rays of the sun began to peak over the horizon. "Do you think she will ever find the strength to leave?" Gretchen asked Eleanor.

"I hope so," Eleanor sighed sadly.

They looped arms on their walk back to camp. "I'm glad you did," Gretchen said.

Huge thank you to my readers and reviewers! As always, you guys keep me motivated!