Unpleasant Conversations

Gilderoy Lockhart grinned broadly. "I don't believe it. Neville Longbottom, the clumsy little boy has become a Healer. I remember very well how you've been hung on the chandelier by those Pixies. Your face was as white as snow."

"I'm glad that you're able to remember your past so well again," Neville said through clenched teeth. "Healer Jones will be with you soon to discuss the next steps that have to be taken. Have a nice day."

He quickly left the Janus Thickey-Ward. It was silly to be so upset about this he knew it, but he still couldn't help it. Lockhart's words had awoken some of his own memories. Memories of his miserable first years at Hogwarts. No one had ever known how lonely he had been back then and no one had cared. The other students had pitied and tolerated him at best, bullied him at worst. The one who was always left behind when they had to work together in class. His family had almost killed him to find out if he was magical.

Only when he had started to get himself into dangerous situations they had begun to respect him. Still, even after the DA Harry had all but ignored him all through sixth year.

The knock on Lestrange's office door was harder than it should have been. There was a slight hint of surprise in the Death Eater's voice when he told Neville to come in.

"Good morning, Neville. What's the matter? Did someone go wrong with Lockhart's potion?"

Neville returned the greeting. "No. It worked perfectly. Hardly any side effects."

Lockhart hadn't suffered anything worse than a cold without the running nose.

"May I ask you what's made you so agitated in this case?" Lestrange asked.

"Agitated, me?" Neville asked looking down himself. He still hadn't learned to hide his feelings properly.

Lestrange smiled slightly. "You made it sound as if you wanted to break the door down."

"My apologies," Neville said. "It's nothing of importance, really. Lockhart's just fond of spreading some stories from school. My second year wasn't really my best. It's foolish to care about something like that, isn't it? After everything that's happened since."

"Not at all," Lestrange said. "You're not the only one who's still struggling with the memories of his Hogwarts times. Ask Professor Snape about his own sometime. Or rather do not; he'd probably take it badly."

Neville could hardly imagine Snape as clueless and ignored student. If he truly knew what it was like, he should have treated him better.

"Let's move to a more pleasant subject, shall we?"

"Yes, certainly," Neville said, wandering what the pleasant subject could be.

"I've found you an apprentice. Her name's Dorothy Prewett, a former Gryffindor."

"That's good news indeed," Neville said.

Lestrange wanted to carry out the job interviews himself and he seemed to be very hard to please. So far, he hadn't come across a suitable candidate for the Spell Damage department.

"So you think she's the right one for the job?"

"I'm quite certain. Not unlike you, she's very fond of Herbology and was able to explain well, why this subject is vital for being a successful Healer. She's the niece of Lancelot Prewett and has helped take care of him during the Yaxley-period."

"Oh yes, I remember her now," Neville said.

Lancelot Prewett had been tortured by Yaxley, Rowle and Dolohov because he had refused to carry out some order from the Death Eaters. His family had taken care of him himself until it had become known that there was a cure available for the after effects of the Cruciatus curse. Neville had been able to help Mr Prewett and met his young niece as well. She had reminded him a bit of himself.

He remembered very well how he had felt when he had been able to offer the help he had longed for but never received when he had been this age himself. Moments like these had made him feel that the truce with the Death Eaters had been worth it.

"Reading between the lines I got the impression that you're one of the major reasons for her decision to come here," Lestrange said. "Her marks have been highly satisfying as well though. I'm sure you're going to get along well."

"Yes, I'll do my best," Neville said. The idea of being a teacher himself did frighten him a bit as did the thought of someone admiring him as Lestrange had implied. He had never done anything special, only his job.

"Do you wish me to teach her about the cure for the Cruciatus curse as well?" Neville asked.

"As quickly as possible if she does well," Lestrange said. "I don't think it's wise to keep this knowledge between the two of us for much longer. I hope it will work out. She doesn't seem to be very comfortable with the subject matter."

"Most people aren't," Neville said.

"You're right of course," Lestrange said.

Neville asked himself why passing on this knowledge had suddenly become so important to Lestrange.

Neville only had a chance to find out if he asked.

"May I ask why this is so important to you all of a sudden? Is there some sort of threat?"

Lestrange gave him a grave look. "Yes, there is. The situation in Germany is becoming increasingly bothersome. You know about those new Grindewald supporters. They're not only fighting against their government but also against our people gathering there. And they rely heavily upon the Cruciatus curse at the moment. When we took care of Mia Kramer it was something like a declaration of war, as strange as this may sound. We have probably both become targets for them."

Neville took a deep breath. The last thing he needed was another group of dark wizards after himself and his family. The situation inside Great Britain was difficult enough without the addition of an outside threat.

"The codices of healing magic demand us to help anyone who asks for our help," Neville said. "It hasn't been anything political."

"By sending me, the Dark Lord turned it into something political," Lestrange said. "They've probably assumed you'd be a Death Eater as well. Guilty by association, no matter how much you dislike the idea."

Neville did indeed dislike this idea. He really didn't want to be blamed for Lestrange's crimes which had not least been committed against his own family members.

It had never occurred to him that he might endanger himself and much worse his family by agreeing to help little Mia.

"You've probably heard that the Dark Lord will soon be travelling to the continent with Bellatrix and a few of her people," Lestrange said. "It's a diplomatic mission of course but they're also going to test the waters there. We'll know more about it all when they're back."

"Are you going to tell me?" Neville asked.

"Certainly. You're involved in this as well."

Neville sighed. He didn't like that but it probably was a fact he couldn't deny.

Lestrange looked at him. "There's something else, Neville. The Dark Lord has become far more clement than he used to be during the war. It's still not impossible that we might find ourselves on the wrong side of him for some reason though. You probably know what I'm talking about."

Neville felt as if his blood had turned to ice. Lestrange couldn't know about the Order, could he? No, that was quite impossible. If he did, he wouldn't sit here calmly talking to him.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about," Neville said.

"Well, a few people have been questioning the continuing need for you to keep your mother under your guardianship," Lestrange said. "You know that this was a temporary arrangement with the Dark Lord and not one that's supposed to last for eight years. They think she should appeal for clemency with the Dark Lord and become an official citizen as his other former enemies have done."

Neville looked out of the window behind Lestrange's chair. This was a little bit better than it would have been if Lestrange had found out about the Order but not much.

"Would you mind telling me who "they" are?" Neville asked.

If it was someone like Theodore and Daphne Nott he could talk to them.

"Lisa Turpin has approached Bellatrix," Lestrange answered without hesitation. "She decided that it falls into my department rather than hers and told me. I don't know who the others are but Lisa supposedly said there were more."

Neville resorted to his Occlumeny skills so Lestrange didn't find out what he was calling Lisa Turpin in his head. The former Ravenclaw had been against the Carrows like everyone else but she had changed her mind completely as soon as Lestrange had started teaching. Lisa had been one of the few people who had chosen to learn the Cruciatus curse and she had been quite "talented" in that field.

Neville didn't think that talking to her would be very promising.

"Lisa believes that the same rules should apply for everyone and she does have a point," Lestrange said. "Still, I didn't think there was any need to bother the Dark Lord with that but you can't be sure that it won't reach him some other way."

I will never understand why some people can't simply mind their own business, Neville thought angrily. His mother was still anything but healthy but how should he prove that to Voldemort? If he decided to give them trouble, he probably wouldn't care anyway.

"It's difficult to predict how the Dark Lord's going to react if he hears about this," Lestrange said. "He might be satisfied if you bring him a certificate signed by one of your colleagues. The possibility that he's going to want a trial of strength can't be ruled out either though. She's fought him three times as you probably know."

Neville did not know though he wasn't going to admit that. Why couldn't they simply leave his mother alone? She was miserable enough as it was.

"He'd surely accept if she did appeal for clemency of her own choice though," Lestrange said. "It would be the most sensible course of action. You know that the Dark Lord doesn't ask for anything impossible."

Neville remembered the day of his own "appeal for clemency" very well. He had to meet Voldemort in the presence of all the Death Eaters. Under their mocking and laughter he had to walk towards Voldemort, kneel down in front of him and declare his surrender. Afterwards he'd had to ask for Voldemort's mercy. Two Death Eaters had to serve as witnesses, in Neville's case it had been Lestrange and Snape.

It had been the hardest day of Neville's life so far. He had felt so treacherous. Neville had known that he only did this for the sake of appearances but this hadn't changed his feelings very much. The triumph on the faces of people like the Carrows had made it all even worse. Neville had wanted nothing more than to shout at them all that he wasn't going to play along and let Voldemort kill him.

The thought of his mother and his grandmother who had been ill already had been the only thing which kept him from doing so. And the hope that he could become a Healer as well. If Neville wanted to be honest with himself, he had to admit that.

Things had improved from this point and nowadays Neville was treated with respect by almost all the Death Eaters.

Still, the idea of making his mother go through this as well made him physically sick. It would rob her of the last vestiges of self-respect she had left.

Neville feared it would kill her.

Was that what Lestrange wanted? But why all this fuss about trying to help her first in this case? Only to get Neville on his side? Did Lestrange really believe he'd remain there if it came to that?

"Neville?"

Lestrange's voice drew him away from those thoughts.

"I assume that you've never attempted to get information about this before, is my suspicion correct?"

Neville was wondering if he had managed to read his mind, despite of his Occlumency attempts.

"Well, no, I didn't think it was necessary," Neville said.

"I see. So you don't know that the procedure has changed considerably either, do you? It's a mere formality nowadays. The applicant has to speak with one of the marked Death Eaters and if he or she is considered honest, a declaration will be signed. It contains the same statements you've made to the Dark Lord directly. He doesn't see any need to do this anymore. Instead, he just gives his okay, the declaration is kept at the Ministry and that was all. Usually, there will be a year of probation where the applicant will be closely watched but there probably won't be any need for this in your mother's case. She's spent the last eight years here without causing any trouble after all."

If that was true, the situation was indeed quite different. Signing a declaration shouldn't be completely impossible, should it?

"You should at least discuss the possibility," Lestrange added. "Look, the way things are now your mother is formally required to ask your permission for every major decision. She can neither take up a job nor become a member of any association or similar group. Do you really think this better than signing a piece of parchment to admit what is obvious anyway, that the Dark Lord has won this war?

Neville didn't answer right away. He made sure to hide his thoughts very carefully now, if Lestrange found out about this, it could prove disastrous.

Keeping his mother's situation in life the way it was now permanently was far from optimal that much was true. She had never been really able to accept the new realities. In a way, she had still been living in the past during the last few years. All those pictures of people long gone, Neville didn't even know most of those names when she mentioned them. Her life had mainly consisted of memories, almost only those of the worst kind. As if she had been living in her own personal Azkaban, though there had been neither Dementors nor walls to keep her there. The children had been her only link to life.

During the last few months, this had changed a bit. She had made tentative journeys into the new magical society and she had met with the Order.
Neville knew it was at least partly his fault that she had stayed in her prison for so long. He had never wanted to force her to into the Death Eaters' society and he had tried to protect her from the dangers knowing about the Order would bring.

These new developments from the Death Eaters' side made one thing clear though, it was time to make a decision now. One possibility was to accept the Dark Lord's victory, sign the declaration and try to find her place in the new society. The second possibility was a more dangerous one. She could choose against the new order and join her former allies in their secret struggles. Neville would make sure that she could find a way to escape if she chose this path.

It was her decision.

"We're going to discuss it when the right moment comes," he said aloud. Whatever the outcome, he'd support his mother's decision.

There was one thing Neville still hoped for, at least if she did decide in favour of living in the Dark Lord's wizarding Britain. It was reconciliation. Maybe she would find some form of closure if she knew that no one had the desire to harm her anymore. Neville looked at Lestrange and wished that he was able to look through him the same way Lestrange did it with him. Neville wanted his mother to believe that he had no desire to hurt, no to destroy her anymore, but he could never be quite sure about that himself.

"You shouldn't wait for the "right moment" too long."

They would wait as long as necessary, Neville thought but didn't say it aloud. He would have to gather information beforehand so they could make an informed decision. Neville still didn't know what exactly had happened that night. His mother never told him and the Memory Charm kept him from remembering.

"Do you want to hear how the Memory Potion worked with Lockhart?" Neville asked.

Lestrange did seem slightly surprised at this sudden change of subject. Neville was relieved. This meant he had not followed everything he had been thinking about.

Lestrange looked at the clock on the wall. "You're right. My apologies for keeping you so long "

Neville had been up all night and the meeting with Lestrange was the last thing on his schedule for this day.

"No problem."

Neville informed Lestrange about the effects of the Memory Potion. "It worked really well," he said in the end. "He fell asleep and when he woke up this morning; his memories were back to normal. I asked him a few questions as we had discussed and he was able to answer them all."

"I'm glad to hear it," Lestrange said. "You should write a detailed report in this case."

"Of course," Neville said.

"Very well, if there's nothing else you'd like to discuss-"