Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Hood, BBC, or profit from this writing. OCs and plot post series 2 belong to me.

Again, I am not a medicine doctor, everything in this chapter is made up. It is the 1190s, so their medicinal knowledge is vastly different than ours. Don't try this at home!

Chapter 54: A long wait

It hadn't been the warm, wounded stomach of Robin she had felt underneath her as Marguerite wrapped bandages.

It had been the cold, dead body of Michel.

Stitching the wound close… so cold, so disgusting. She had stitched a wound in his shoulder once when they were sparring and she lunged and caught him by surprised. They had laughed, happy that she was so competent. Few were able to land a scratch, let alone a puncture, on any of her brothers. Michel was always the toughest of her opponents since he could anticipate her moves.

But this wound… with his guts spilling out on her, was cold, so cold.

Lonesome Marion had said. Marguerite would never wish away her childhood with her siblings, but if she had never had them in the first place, she wouldn't be dead inside now.

No, then you would never have had Michel, Marguerite decided. She didn't know if this pain, of knowing she had the rest of her life without him, was something she could handle, though. For a few weeks, months, she had convinced herself that she had Guy, and while she wasn't completely healed, she could at least live again. Now she didn't even have Guy.

And she had been too stupid, too blind, to see it.

Your own damn fault, Marguerite chided herself. She had wanted it so badly, to have someone in her life again. She had convinced herself of something she never had.

"So start over, start a new family, away from here," Eleanor told her niece as the men made their way up the hill towards them.

Her aunt's advice from their meeting at Bluewater Bend seeped into her brain, refusing to leave. She obviously couldn't move on here, in England or France. If she went far enough away, and had absolutely no expectations of Otto or married life, she could be surprised.

It had to be better than purging your guts up, crying alone, in the middle of the forest.

Alone, always alone.

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Marguerite arrived back and went back to helping, not offering any explanations. Eleanor stooped and was happy that Much's fever seemed to have gone down a little. Much cringed as Eleanor moved to work on the branding wound. She went to apply the paste when she noticed that the skin was starting to puss.

Eleanor set the bowl aside immediately. It wouldn't do any good on that until the puss was dealt with. Eleanor got up and went to rummage through the things Marguerite brought. All they seemed to have were swords. She needed something a bit more delicate than that. "What's wrong with Much?" Robin called out, worried.

"We need Tuck," Marguerite said coming up behind Eleanor as Eleanor found the dagger. She had seen the wound and knew what Eleanor had decided. "I don't know if we will be enough."

"We can't wait," Eleanor said, weighing the dagger.

"I know, but we need to hold him down. We have Willa, you, Gretchen, Marion, and me," Marguerite listed. "That's assuming anyone besides you and I can stomach it." Marguerite wasn't sure if she could rely on any of the others except Eleanor.

"We will have to make do with what we have. Guy won't be back till evening. Tuck is out scouting," Eleanor said. "Much can't wait," she decided.

Marguerite nodded. She went and brought more water and set it to boil. "What's wrong with Much?" Robin demanded again.

"The brand became infected," Eleanor said. "I was hoping if we got the temperature down it would help but now its pussing."

"Now you are going to clean out the puss," Djaq said. "Do you need help?"

"Yes, but you can't help," Eleanor pointed out. "Marion, Marguerite, Gretchen, and Willa, if they are willing," Eleanor asked. They nodded and moved to see what she needed. She placed Gretchen at Much's head and placed a piece of leather in his mouth to keep his tongue down. Gretchen nodded as they rolled Much onto his side so Elle could see the wound better. Willa was holding Much's hips, sitting on his legs, and Marion and Marguerite were on opposite sides of Much at the shoulders.

Eleanor gathered everything she would need. Once she started she would have to work quickly. She moved the pot of boiling water closer and hoped Much didn't get loose and knock it all over her. She grabbed the handle of the blue-hot dagger. "Ready?" Eleanor asked and the others gripped tightly, nodding.

As soon as the dagger touched Much, he let out an agonizing cry and jolted, trying to get away from the heat and the hands holding him still so the heat could continue to torture him. His cries pierced through the cave as Eleanor worked on the infected wound, first piercing and draining the puss and then cleaning it. He tried to fight them off until he finally passed out from the onslaught of pain. Marion and Gretchen had tears silently streaming down their face. Willa looked like she wanted to purge. Marguerite was the only one who was as impassive and clinical about the situation as Eleanor.

It was easier to work once Much was passed out and no longer struggling. Eleanor cleaned the wound deeply before re-bandaging it and they rolled Much to his back. "Will he be fine now?" Robin asked. It had unnerved all of them, hearing Much's agonized cries.

"We won't know for a little while," Eleanor confessed sadly.

Marguerite and Eleanor dished up more of the soup for the outlaws, handing the food to Gretchen, Willa, and Marion. Gretchen brushed back Much's sweaty lock of hair gently before moving to help feed Djaq.

"You need to rest, Nora," Allan told her.

"When you can say that without your eyes drooping," Eleanor told him as she helped him to lay back down after eating.

"I mean it, Nora."

"I'll rest when you can make me," she told him as she moved to join Marguerite and the other women who were sitting to eat themselves.

"John's appetite is coming back full force," Willa grinned.

"How was Tom? And Ygrainne?" Eleanor asked Marguerite.

"Ygrainne wants to know where you all are," Marguerite admitted and saw Gretchen's concern. "They are both fine, though. I bribed her that I would take her riding this evening. Let me stay, at least long enough to allow the two of you to get some rest," Marguerite insisted.

"We'll rest," Gretchen promised.

Marguerite sighed. "Tom and Ygrainne are perfectly fine, and I vow I'll protect them. One less thing for you to worry about. I'll keep you posted. Luke, when he returns, and Tuck can go between us to keep us all informed. Elle," Marguerite said, turning to the woman. "Things are set in motion. We can't stop them. If they can't get involved, we will make other plans."

Marion wondered, for the briefest moment, if Marguerite meant she wouldn't stop the plan even if she could. She kept her mouth shut remembering how carefully Marguerite had taken care of Robin.

Eleanor looked to the sleeping Much. "I don't know about all of them. But you will have at least a few of the gang," Eleanor vowed.

Marguerite left for Locksley manor and Gretchen took her vigil by Much's side. The sun was already beginning to set when Marguerite left earlier and it was now dark outside. Eleanor made another check with everyone before they fell asleep. She was severely thankful that none of them were showing signs of internal problems.

Marion laid next to Robin, they were talking softly until Robin drifted off into a deep sleep. Marion watched him sleep for awhile until she herself fell asleep. Eleanor went around and tucked everyone into their makeshift beds.

"Stay," Allan asked, his hand grasping hers.

"I'm right here," Eleanor said.

"I meant you need to get some sleep, Nora. You have been on your feet for who knows how long," Allan said. "Stay here and get some sleep."

"I will rest when I can," Eleanor said.

"Nora, you can't care for us if you don't care for yourself. You're exhausted."

"I'm suppose to fret over you, not the other way around," Eleanor smiled.

Allan grinned, tugging on her skirts but he was still too weak to actually make her topple onto her butt. "Stay, Nora," Allan implored. "I have things to tell you."

"I'll wait here," Eleanor promised as she sat beside his bed. Allan looked as if he wanted to tell her something but dozed off. She moved to check on Much. His fever was down which more than anything helped to calm her nerves.

Holding her breath she peeled back the bandages. The wound was still terribly red and raw but the infection was disappearing. "Well?" Gretchen asked, worriedly.

"I think he is on the mend," Eleanor said, relief evident in her tone.

Gretchen laid her head in her hands, tears streaming down her face. Eleanor moved to sit behind her and wrapped her arms around Gretchen, her chin resting on Gretchen's shoulder. "Waiting, not knowing, is the hardest part," Eleanor said softly.

"I was so frightened I would lose him before I ever even had him," Gretchen confessed softly.

"When the sisters took me in, I was so frightened that the stoning would harm my baby. Those months were so hard…" Eleanor trailed off. "I was so worried, anxious, angry." There was silence for a moment before Eleanor spoke again. "When Tom was three months old he caught a cold. I was terrified. I stayed up with him for 2 whole days, terrified I was going to lose him, too."

"It is never easy," Gretchen sighed, her head resting against Eleanor's, side by side. "I hated that I abandoned you."

"You didn't!" Eleanor said in shock. "Greta, you were the only person I felt I could rely on. You begged me to go with you, you even came to Nottingham and threatened to drag me to Locksley," Eleanor grinned. "I was the one who chose to stay behind, then to leave."

"You should have come to me," Greta said.

"Get some sleep," Eleanor decided. "Take a few hours to sleep. We'll rotate. I'll wake you in a few hours, or the moment something happens with Much," she promised.

"I can watch…" Gretchen began but Eleanor cut her off.

"I know you can. But you need some sleep. Then I'll get a few hours," Eleanor said. "Sleep."

Gretchen nodded. She knew it made sense, but she was so worried about Much still. She laid some of the blankets and made a pallet next to Much's bed. Eleanor sat between Much and Allan so she could be close to both, keep an eye on both.

A few hours later Eleanor woke Gretchen who jerked awake. Gretchen sat up and resumed her vigil over Much as Eleanor made a pallet next to Allan's bedside. She ran her fingers threw his hair again, and curled up beside him.

Gretchen watched Much's face in the flickering firelight. Eleanor had placed another log on the fire before going to bed so it would last a bit longer. She rested her head in her hand. She had nightmares that Much died. It had been the fire in her cottage months ago but instead of her being trapped inside, it had been Much. And he didn't make it out.

The thought of him dying brought tears to her eyes. Much, who always managed to find something to be cheerful about, who was loyal to Robin as she was to Eleanor. Much, who had stolen a piece of her heart the first time they met with his grin and that ridiculous minstrel hat. And who, even as she fought against her attraction and tried to chase after John, was still there. She had cried so much the last two days, stolen tears when she had a moment to herself.

Much struggled to open his eyes. His side was on fire, he felt as if he had been filleted. But he had to open his eyes. He couldn't understand the urgency but he wanted to know what was happening. He only had vague recollections dancing through his cloudy mind. Of the pain, of Vaysey verbally debasing him, of Robin's cries of pain. He thought he saw a guard fondle Gretchen, but how could he have seen anything like that? Maybe he had witnessed it when she worked in the castle. He wanted to go and cut off the hands of all the men in Nottingham for daring to touch and proposition Gretchen. He heard someone talking about Ygrainne. Was she okay? Was she lost again? He opened his eyes to find Gretchen sitting beside him, her eyes closed as she silently cried.

She couldn't be sad. It hurt his heart seeing her hurt or sad. He tried lifting his hand but it was extremely painful. He tried not to focus on the pain but on his goal as he lifted his hand up to wipe away the tears running down her cheek.

Gretchen's eyes flew open in shock. This had to be a joke. Eleanor must have woken up and was taking pity on her. But no, she saw Much was awake.

Much was awake!

She caught his hand in hers, holding it where it was against her cheek. "Don't be sad," Much's voice said softly. If she hadn't have seen his lips move she would have thought she was delirious.

"You're awake," Gretchen said, kissing the palm of his hand. She brushed back a lock of his hair. "You've been asleep for so long. Do you want some water?" she asked and Much nodded. Gretchen fetched the dipper and eased it to his parched lips. She put it back and went to wake up Eleanor.

Eleanor felt as if she had just shut her eyes when she was being shaken awake. Eleanor jumped up, just knowing something was wrong with Allan or Tom. "Much is awake!" Gretchen whispered excitedly.

Eleanor shot a quick look to Much, sure her friend was delirious. But Much was actually awake. Eleanor moved over quickly. "How do you feel?"

"Do you have to ask?" Much asked. "Awful."

Eleanor smiled. "Besides your side, what else is painful?" Eleanor asked, checking him. She felt his forehead and was happy his fever was gone completely. She checked over his other wounds and finally checked on his branding. "It looks much better than it did," Eleanor told the couple. "This should help ease the pain," Eleanor said, handing the cup to Gretchen who helped Much to drink. "A full cup every hour until the pain is more manageable."

"How is everyone else?" Much whispered.

"They are mending," Eleanor assured him. "Just take it easy. And I mean that—every hour until the pain begins to dull." She turned to Gretchen. "Wake me and I'll take over," she reminded her as she curled up again beside Allan's bed.

"You don't have to stay awake," Much insisted.

"I don't mind," Gretchen said. "I want to."

"How's Ygrainne? Where is she?"

Gretchen was surprised he asked. "She is with Marguerite and Guy in Locksley."

"Good," Much sighed knowing the wee girl would be scared to see them all like this. Gretchen simply ogled him. "Rest, Gretchen," Much insisted. "How can I recover when I am worried you are going to fall over any moment?"

"Let me worry. You just rest," Gretchen insisted.

Eleanor awoke at dawn after only sleeping for about 2 more hours. She woke at some point thinking someone was trying to wake her but since she didn't hear her name she doze back off. She needed more sleep, she never slept as much as a normal person but 4 hours in 2 days was not enough, but there was nothing she could do about it now. She sat up and realized that somehow, she had moved closer to Allan. As in, she was on his makeshift bed. If she didn't know better, she would have guessed he had moved her.

Fool, she chided. Risking his injuries for something as miniscule as a bed.

Eleanor carried in more firewood, stirring the embers as she put on another pot for tea. Marguerite had brought enough glasses for everyone so she made individual medicinal recipes for each person, and poured a really strong cup of tea for herself, Willa, and Gretchen who dragged themselves to the fire. She had heard John wake up a few times in the middle of the night from the ache in his shoulder from where it had been dislocated, and Willa keeping him company.

Eleanor gulped her tea down and poured herself another cup that she took with her as she went through the sack of food provisions Marguerite had brought. "Much won't be up for solid food today," Eleanor said, mostly to herself but loud enough Gretchen could hear her. "She left us some game, though, which will make an excellent stew for us and rich broth for the others," Eleanor decided.

"I make a very good rabbit stew," Willa spoke up, feeling confident she could contribute something. Willa began to prepare the game as Gretchen started on making breakfast. Marion stirred and gratefully accepted the cup of tea. "Much woke up?" she asked excitedly. "Do you think they will be able to fight in time? Be honest, Eleanor," Marion asked. "I don't want to risk Robin, but I know I can't hold him back. If you think he is going to be able to fight…"

"It is too soon to say for sure how well they will be then," Eleanor said, pouring the boiling water into the individual cups as some people started to stir awake. "We'll know more in a few days. If I had to guess… John and Will are making exceptional recovery. Djaq's wrist should be better, and Allan…" Eleanor trailed off. She hated the thought of him getting better just to go off and fight again. "Allan I think will be fine, as well. I want to see how Robin's wounds are before we give him a bow and arrow—he could reopen them if not careful. Much got over the toughest part, but with him I don't even want to guess yet."

"Whatever you say. If we have to tie Robin up to keep him— any of them— from going, we will," Marion told Eleanor, trying to convey the faith she had in the woman's healing and judgment.

"This one is for Robin," Eleanor said, handing the cup to Marion. She took one cup to Allan as Willa took a cup to John and Gretchen took Will's and Djaq's. She settled by Allan. "Don't tell me you made yourself worse by moving me in the middle of the night," Eleanor chided.

"I'm not being funny, but maybe you wanted to be closer," Allan teased.

"Allan a Dale, if you make yourself worse, than you can take care of yourself," Eleanor threatened. It was an empty threat, but she wanted to show her disapproval.

"You're light as a feather, Nora. And 'sides, you needed sleep just as badly as I. I…" he trailed off, suddenly not sure what to say.

"Allan a Dale, lost for words?" Eleanor teased him.

"Only around you," Allan grinned as Eleanor blushed ever so slightly. He wanted to be 60 and still make her blush.

"Seriously, Allan. You have to get better, not worse," Eleanor said. Allan patted the bed beside him. "I can't give you all my time, Allan. Even though I want to," she confessed.

"I won't be selfish and keep you from the others. Not yet," he grinned saucily. "Just for a moment, while the others are still too drowsy to need you."

Eleanor sat the cup down and stretched out on the bed, keeping a good foot of space between them. "I'm not going to keel over if you touch me, Nora."

"I know only too well how bad those wounds hurt, Allan," Eleanor said sadly.

Allan stretched out one arm so it lay under her head, the other he reached across his body to try to pull her closer, rolling on his side with a wince. "Stay," Eleanor said, scooting closer.

Allan ran his hand through her honey colored hair. "Not now, but … sometime I want to tell you something that happened down there," Allan said. "I had a lot of time to think, Nora. Half the time it might have been delirious delusions," he admitted. "But whether I was conscious or not, I was always thinking of you. Of Tom," he confessed. He saw her eyes widen in shock. "How on earth did you ever give me another chance?"

"What?" Eleanor asked confused.

"Why did you give me another chance? Us another chance?"

"I wasn't going to," Eleanor admitted. "I was leaving, remember? I couldn't bear it if you turned me away. You just have a certain charm about you, though, Allan," she teased. "I honestly don't know why. I was so set on leaving all of you behind, then Vaysey took me… I thought I was staying for Gretchen, but I know I was really staying because at least if I couldn't have you, I could still see you. See you back with Robin. It was torture," she confessed.

"I didn't want to leave you the first time, Nora. The more I learned about what happened in that year I was in the Holy Lands, the more I know you went through, I'm amazed you ever forgave me because I don't think I have forgiven myself."

"I was more mad at myself than you," Eleanor told him.

Allan leaned forward to place a kiss on her forehead. "I fully intend on spending the rest of my life making it up to you."

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Marion frowned at Eleanor. "I mean it. I can pull my weight here. You've indulged me long enough, letting me just stay with Robin. Let me help you now," Marion insisted.

"Fine, I'm going to take a quick walk, stretch my legs," Eleanor said grabbing a bucket for water. She took her time on the walk to the river, her muscles enjoying the lazy stretch. Eleanor walked a little further upstream and found the plants she was looking for.

She was walking into camp when Marguerite took the pail from her. "Oh, I'll add these to the stew Willa started."

"When did you arrive?" Eleanor asked confused.

"Just a moment ago. And Marion and I are in agreement," Marguerite said making Eleanor wary. She didn't think she would ever hear Marguerite and Marion agreeing on anything. "We are both going to help and run things today. So you just rest."

"If you want to help get Gretchen to sleep a little," Eleanor said.

"I'm going to let you both have some much needed rest," Marguerite insisted. "I know what each person is taking and how often. I know the signs of infection," she insisted.

"If you think you can watch over them, I think I'll take a minute for myself," Eleanor agreed. She knew she wouldn't win an argument against Marguerite.

"Bon," Marguerite smiled. She gave Eleanor a knowing look. "Go, do what you need to do, ma bichette" (a/n: My little dear)

Eleanor nodded, slipped outside the caves again. She walked just to walk, get away as if she got far enough away she wouldn't worry, it wouldn't be real.

She found a large tree and decided to take a seat and lean against it. Marion had expressed her moments of sorrow while Robin was unconscious, Gretchen had cried unnumbered tears over Much, even Willa fretted around the sleeping form of Little John. Now it was her turn.

She drew her knees up to her chest, resting her forehead against them as she thought back over the last 3 days, ever since the gang left on this ridiculous mission. The fear of hearing they were caught; the pain of seeing Allan's beaten and broken body; the fear and worry over each and every one of them; the fear she wasn't capable enough.

The fear that threatened to consume her—that she would lose Allan and be alone.

She wiped away the tears and blew her nose. They were all on the road to recovery, even Much. They were only days away from dispossessing the sheriff.

What the hell were they going to do after that?

She had tried not to think about it but it couldn't be ignored forever. Robin and Marion would be reinstated as the Lord and Lady of Locksley. That was a given. Even Guy seemed to accept it. Well, why not? They had 5 estates to pick from from Marguerite's holdings when deciding on where to live.

But what about the rest of them? John would probably stay somewhere in the shire. She and Gretchen both assumed Much would remain close to Robin but now… Eleanor decided to accept the fact that it was a real possibility that Gretchen and Much would both stay close to Robin and she could possibly loose her best friend. Will and Djaq were planning on returning to Djaq's hometown.

What the hell was she going to do? She had Tom to worry about, and she didn't know what to expect with Allan. She didn't know what he wanted; she didn't even know what she wanted.

So what do you want Eleanor? She asked herself.

She just wanted to keep that sense of family she had acquired since joining the outlaws. She wanted Tom to grow up healthy and happy, never know the same pain and fear and self-loathing Eleanor was raised with. She wanted Allan. That had never changed.

She decided not to dwell on it. She would make plans for whatever scenario played out.

Eleanor made her way back to the caves, afraid to spend too much time away from them. She walked in and splashed cold water on her face. She looked over and saw Gretchen had fallen asleep on her pallet.

"You should sleep, too," Marguerite insisted. "Especially if you are going to be up again tonight. I'm staying here for a little bit longer. Between Marion, Willa, and I, we will be able to handle anything."

"If you're sure," Eleanor said, too tired to argue. As soon as she lay down she fell into a deep sleep, the murmurs of the others in the cave not bothering her.

Allan studied her as she slept. She had been working too hard, he knew she had to but he hated seeing her so wary. He was so proud of her.

He thought back over their capture. The things he would never tell her, the things he had to tell her. He looked over to Much, the closest to him even with Eleanor and Gretchen sleeping between them. They were all going to make it thanks to his Nora.

Huge thanks, as always, for my wonderful readers! Next chapter will go up soon!