Chapter Forty Two

Esme

I had hoped to avoid seeing Carlisle again because despite everything I still felt something for him. When he took my arm I almost hesitated but it would do no good and only hurt me more in the long run. I drove away from Forks and Carlisle as quickly as I could, headed for Portland. I wouldn't fly from Seattle in case I had bumped into him but that had stopped the meeting after all. I was on my way to Rose and Emmett. They had offered me a home for as long as I wanted it, both horrified to learn about Carlisle and Edward. I would have liked to speak to Jasper and Bella but Alice had warned me that it would do no good. I was just pleased that they had finally found each other. They were far better suited than Edward and Bella, two lost souls making a whole. I wondered if I would ever meet my true mate and even if I did would I be able to trust him? That was Carlisle's legacy to me, distrust of my own feelings.

Carlisle

I toyed with the idea of following Esme, make her speak to me but it was pointless, she'd made her position perfectly clear, I just hoped wherever she was going she would find solace and peace, space to heal. When my cell phone rang I had almost forgotten the main reason I was here.

"Carlisle. I understand you wished to speak to us. Are you the Volturi mouthpiece now? What a come down from the idealistic doctor I remember of old."

"Stefan, thank you for ringing me back. I have a message from Caius and Marcus..."

He interrupted me,

"No Aro? The other two brothers have finally faced up to the danger he posed them? Good."

"Aro is dead but the other two brothers are carrying on and Alec is still with them"

"Really? So one witch child still exists, pity. Do they have anyone to take Aro's place?"

"Yes, Edward"

"Your Edward? Aro got his wish then, pity he never lived long enough to see it. So I take it you are going to live in Volterra?"

"Yes I am. I think you should know that the brothers have no intention of giving up their rule of the vampire world."

"We guessed as much although we did hope that with Aro gone the other two might separate making it possible for us to defeat them. We have time though and patience, lots of patience. We will wait and watch and one day, one day, we will see our opportunity and the Vampire world will belong to us again. Goodbye Aro and wish the Volturi good luck, they're going to need it without the ruthlessness of brother Aro."

I finished packing everything we would want and left instructions for the shipping company before leaving. As I drove through Forks I saw Bella's father walking into the cemetery with a bouquet of flowers and stopped to follow him. He knelt beside a headstone bearing Bella's name and dates and an inscription,

"In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parent who loses a child."
I watched as he pulled the dead flowers from the vase and replaced them with fresh and wondered if she would ever let him know she was still alive. It wouldn't be easy as she was now one of us but I wondered if it might be better than this sorrow. I would try to get word to Bella somehow but it was ultimately her decision to make. I faded back into the shadows before Charlie turned round and drove back to Seattle to wait for my return flight.

Charlie

It was always hard coming to Bella's grave but it's where I felt closest to her. To lose my daughter, the only good thing I ever really did, was hard and if not for Billy, Harry and the other Quileutes I don't think I'd have made it. Renee rang regularly to check I was OK but we had little to say to each other now the only connection was gone. She sent money for flowers once a month which I picked up from the florist in town and took to Bella. Sometimes I felt it was a sham, after all we never had a body to bury, just a few belongings of hers which had miraculously survived but the local minister had allowed me to bury them in her stead. Sometimes there was a bunch of wild flowers left and it took me a while to figure out they were put there by Jake and his wife. I got up and said goodbye to my little girl then walked slowly back to the cruiser and drove home. I hated going in the house, I always thought just for a second that I might find her in the kitchen cooking dinner as she did when she lived with me for the last two years of school but it was just wishful thinking and her ghost would vanish like smoke. I hadn't seen Edward for a long time, he didn't visit the grave or send flowers but then I guess he was young enough to start over again and the memory was probably something he wanted to push to the back of his mind. Esme had rung regularly until about six months ago but now I didn't hear from her either and the house was now deserted, Carlisle having changed jobs. Their lives went on as Renee's did but I was alone and I thought about her a lot.

Bella

Things were better now, for a long time I had struggled with my thirst and my gift but with Jasper's patient help I had learned to conquer both and I could now trust myself to walk among the humans but I always felt safer with my family, Jazz, Peter, Charlotte, and Garrett. Christos had visited to apologise for running out on us and was forgiven by all except Peter so his visits were infrequent and short. Although Darius had rung to thank Jasper for the antique computer parts he had sent in thanks for his help he wouldn't visit. Jazz explained that he only truly felt safe in his own environment and Peter had told me that it was because Darius had lost his legs during a fight with a band of nomads, burned before he could rescue them. He live in a specially adapted place and used his massive brain power on problems. It seemed he was the go to man when technology was required but only by a select few.. Sometimes when it was quiet, when only Jazz and I were in the house, I would talk about my dad and Forks. I longed to speak to him, to see him and let him know I was OK but I wasn't sure it was a good idea.

Jasper

Bella wrestled with the idea of contacting Charlie, letting him know she was alive and happy but she knew such knowledge brought with it certain risks. I didn't think the Volturi with or without Aro would ease up on the rule about humans knowing about our world and if she did how would he feel knowing all this time she could have made him feel better but chose not too. I wasn't sure he would understand the struggle she had been through to get to this point. Her newborn phase had been short but no less of a struggle and we all carried scars from her bad-tempered phase. Bella only wore the one scar on her beautiful body, my ownership mark which I had made on her shoulder. She was mine for all eternity and she had made very sure to mark me in return. One more scar made little difference to me, there were so many, but hers was special because it was the only one made with love.

Quote by Jodi Picoult