Chapter Forty Four

Carlisle

I sat waiting for my flight to be called annoyed at the long delay when I saw her, Esme coming towards me through the crowds. She still looked as beautiful as ever and I hated that I had hurt her so badly. Was she coming to talk to me? To give me a chance to explain after all? She stopped and sat next to me looking around.

"Your flight is delayed a long time Carlisle. I wasn't sure I'd make it in time to speak to you. Could we go somewhere private, what we have to say to each other isn't for other ears."

I nodded and got up,

"Of course, I'm so glad to see you. I hated the idea that we would part on angry words."

I took her arm and guided her out of the terminal and over to a sheltered part of the parking lot away from other eyes and ears and we sat down on the railings.

"Well thank you for coming to see me again Esme. I'm so sorry about the way things turned out but I couldn't help the way I feel about Edward, you know we have no control over that. I didn't know it when I changed you. I really thought it was you who was my mate, my life partner, but as the years moved on I knew something was wrong, I started feeling more for Edward and less for you but I tried very hard to keep you happy"

"And ignorant"

"Yes Esme ignorant too. I didn't know how to get out of the hole I'd dug for myself without hurting someone and I never wanted to hurt you. Edward suffered too you know. The thought of us together, you at my side recognised as my mate by everyone while he had to play the dutiful son."

"My heart bleeds for him Carlisle. It must have been hell especially all the times the two of you went away to recitals and conferences, leaving trusting poor Esme behind. Did you have a good laugh at my expense? And when I was so happy to see you back again, when I ran into your arms and welcomed you home? Did you laugh at that too? At my stupidity or were you too busy feeling sorry for poor Edward who had to watch and keep quiet? Tell me Carlisle, I really want to know."

Esme

I waited, I really hadn't expected him to try and protect or feel sorry for Edward, not in my hearing and it just went to prove that he cared nothing for me or my feelings. What would it take for Carlisle to understand what he had done himself and allowed his mate to do to poor Bella. I felt guilty for the enthusiasm I had shown when Edward asked her to marry him, she had so obviously been in love with him, she would have followed him to the gates of hell, in fact she had. Bella had travelled to Volterra and stood between Edward and death, standing up to the most fearsome trio in our world and how had he repaid her? With lies and deceit. Thinking about that trip it dawned on me that Marcus must have seen the relationship between Bella and Edward. He knew they weren't mates so why hadn't he spoken up? He could have saved Bella from all this but then if Aro had known Bella and Edward weren't mates he would have ordered her death then and there so Marcus kept her alive with his silence. The whole thing was a tangle of lies, deceit, and duplicity and I was tired of it all.

"Well Carlisle? Don't you have any answers for me?"

"No Esme, nothing that would help. I do love you even now"

"But not enough to leave Edward in Volterra and stay with me?"

"Would you have me back knowing all you do?"

"What do you think Carlisle? I may be a stupid trusting woman but even I know when you've been deceived once it will happen again and I won't allow you that much power over me. Not again."

"All I can say is I'm sorry Esme. I think that's all we have to say to each other don't you? Any further conversation would just being going round in circles and hurt both of us."

"Well we wouldn't want you being hurt now would we Carlisle?"

He whirled hearing Bella's voice, to see her standing with Jasper and Peter.

Carlisle

The appearance of these three made me nervous because I knew they would stand with Esme, with good reason if I were being truthful.

"Bella, I know you were very hurt by Edward's actions and I should have warned you or got you away from danger. The fact I didn't is a guilt I will be forced to live with until the day I cease to exist."

"Well then Carlisle I don't think you'll have to suffer too long. I think Esme and I have every right to exact revenge for what you did and didn't do. I used to look up to you as a model of what could be achieved, even by one of our kind but it was all a lie. Your whole vampire life has been one lie. The good compassionate Dr Carlisle Cullen, an amazingly self-controlled vampire who devoted his public life to healing the humans. The private face of the doctor was somewhat different wasn't it? The monster still lived in you but it showed itself to those you were supposed to love and care for. Why didn't you have the backbone to stop Edward? To set Esme free years ago so she could find her true mate?"

I shook my head, how could I answer her questions without making things even worse for myself.

"It seems the cats got the doctors tongue Bella. Difficult isn't it when you're faced with your own weaknesses? Did you really think you were just going to trot back to Volterra and make cosy with your precious son? Fuck me, you're even more deluded than I thought."

I tried to ignore Peter's taunts but it was difficult. Jasper stood back holding Bella's hand but not commenting.

"Jasper, please try to explain what its like, how hard it is when you find your true mate and you are already in a relationship. Tell Bella."

"Carlisle, you talk to me and don't you dare try to equate your sleazy filthy lying life with my mates. You stood by and watched as Edward ruined my life and you were prepared to keep silent even when he planned to take any baby I might have and kill me to get total control of it. Just how did you justify that depth of depravity to yourself?"

"Bella I did what I had to do in order to keep my mate content. I'm sorry it caused you pain and Esme but I would do it all again, I had no choice. Now you know everything, you have Jasper and Esme had her freedom to find her true mate. Everything worked out in the end. We all got what we wanted, well except Esme but I know she won't be alone long, she's too good a woman for that and I wish her all the best. Now I have to go, my flight will be called soon."

Bella

I listened to Carlisle's words with amazement, he truly believed he would be walking away from the mess he'd caused and if allowed he would do it feeling that everything turned out right in the end, how self-deluded could you get?

"Carlisle, now I know you're a fucking loony toon. You'd have to be one to expect these two ladies are just going to wave you goodbye on your way back to the ass hole son of yours"

I smiled at Peter's words and looked at Esme,

"Do you want to say anything to Carlisle? Or in his defence?"

She studied her ex husband for a few seconds then turned to me,

"No. I'm all done Bella."

I nodded,

"Do you want to stay?"

"Yes, I'd like to see justice served"

"Just a minute Bella, surely you aren't going to harm me? I know I didn't do the things I should have but please don't make me turn you into a monster, you can rise above all that."

"Yes I did Carlisle because I believed the lie."

"Lie?"

"Yes the lie you lived. That we could be compassionate and strong enough to rise above our vampire nature when what you actually did was to demonstrate that you can't. It's in the nature of the beast, it will find a way to express itself. Now you can feel that beast at first hand."

Wind whipped around her, swirling her hair like snakes around her face, and her eyes glowed with a strange blue light. I felt a terrible pressure as my body was picked up and whirled round faster and faster.

Esme

I watched fascinated as Carlisle's body disappeared in a swirl of smoke and dust from the parking lot. Jasper and Peter had moved back slightly and I noticed he was no longer holding her hand. The mini tornado went on for some minutes before Bella stretched her hand backwards and Jasper took hold of it. Immediately the wind dropped and her hair fell to her shoulders once more, the smoke and dust settled to the ground and Carlisle had vanished, at least I thought he had but then I saw a heap of ash in a pool of melted tar.

"Esme, I think its over now don't you?"

"Edward?"

"The Volturi wont want to let him go now and if he knows what's good for him he'll stay there. If he sets foot in the States again he'll get the same treatment as his mate. In the meantime I'll collect what remains and send it to him with the warning. I hope you find your mate soon Esme, the way I found mine."

She turned into Jasper and he put his arms around her,

"Let's go home darlin'"

THE END