Disclaimer: I dun own it.

It was impossible. It just was.

She managed to evade or dodge, or not even care about the careful attacks he'd shot towards her. It had been a whole week, and not only had she survived, but she was thriving. THRIVING!

Gill didn't know how any of the people in town could be so stupid, or, or.. or just plain ignorant! She was the skunk of the island, messing things up for weeks wherever she walked. She had already started giving businesses advice. What the hell did she know about business? His perfect town was going downhill, all of it. She had to go, she just had to. There was no way such an eyesore could remain in this town. It had been perfect, all of it! And now...

Gill spaced out, recalling everything he'd try to do. He needed to think of something drastic... something that would send her away for good. It had to be perfectly wretched... it had to be able to scare even himself. He thought he'd tried everything. He'd sent her an anonymous package with safe looking, but very expired eggs. She'd been sick for a day, but the next day she was out giving the General Store too much to think about. He had put oil on the doorstep of Elli's house after Elli had left, but when that horrid creature walked out, she slipped, landed on her butt, and started laughing! He'd even paid off Paolo to draw a mustache on her face with permanent marker while she was sleeping. But, the next day, she came out with that and a tophat on, and suddenly everybody just thought it was so hilarious.

There had to be something! Usually Gill wasn't such a hateful person, but when somebody didn't give in to any of those things there was obviously something wrong with their brain. He'd tried only one of those pranks on Cathy and she'd threatened to leave the next day to everybody. Of course, when she admitted defeat, Gill was happy to let her stay. But this creature... not only wouldn't he allow her to live here, but now she really had to go. She was pissing him off just by breathing in the perfect air of Waffle Island and breathing out... smog no doubt.

'Come on, Gill. Think... think!' Gill grasped his hair, making it messier than usual before smoothing it back once more and sitting. And after about five minutes, he knew exactly what he was going to do.

---

Here's how it would go down. Gill would go, in the dead of night, up to the still open farm. There, he would make things a living nightmare before telling this... Angela... that she could go immediately up to inhabit it. Yes... it was perfect! If she actually lived on the farm he could wreak havoc for days and days on end until she finally had it and moved out. Maybe he'd give her a quota to live up to... just to keep her busy enough to stay away from the townspeople. Yes... it'd be absolutely perfect!

And so, Gill set out on a mission. In the dead of night, not even the crickets made a sound as he moved by moonlight up to the little field she would soon inhabit. Gill pulled out a can of clear hairspray, and carefully cut the top off before pouring it all over her field, making it as hard as rock. Smiling, he opened can after can and did the whole field, before looking around. What else could go wrong? Ah, yes. He'd forgotten the pal that he'd captured to keep her company. Gill took a box out of the large duffel bag of stuff he'd brought and shook the box, before opening it quickly, throwing it in the barn and closing the door on the vile creature. Two of a kind, the creature and the creature. She ought to be happy.

And finally, her soon to be house. Now, it was easy to know that Gill was a mastermind at almost anything. So, he knew about circuitry, carpentry, the basics of household building and keeping. Now... which one could he mess with? It was getting to be early morning... about three. He didn't have much time, and he certainly couldn't do both...

That night, Gill slept like a log.

---

Mayor Hamilton sat in for his son that day, not wanting to wake him up. So, seeing the file on the desk about Angela's inhabitance of the farm was in fact natural. So he sat silently smiling, greeting everyone who came in and out before spying Angela outside of the town hall. The short man hopped down from his seat and almost skipped outside to meet her.

"Angela! Good news!" Hamilton cried, "The farm is finally yours! In fact, you can probably go up and move in right this instant! It's all approved, and you don't even have to pay me right now! Now, all of your tools should be in the toolbox, and if you ever have any questions, don't forget to stop by!" The Mayor nodded but was taken by surprise when he was lifted up by Angela's sheer joy.

Angela spun him around once or twice and gave him a kiss on the cheek before setting him down. "Yes! I'll go right away sir! Ohmigosh I'm so happy I could cry!" Angela exclaimed, jumping up and down before running away towards the farm.

"Have a happy life!" Hamilton shouted back, watching her run up to her farm. Ah... she was such a sweet child. So happy and so carefree... maybe farming would help her grow up. Her eyes glittered, and she smelled like... roses. She would become a wonderful wife someday. But until then, he wished her luck on her journey.

---

Gill woke up that afternoon, rubbing his eyes and pushing his blankets off. With a large yawn, Gill looked to the alarm clock and nearly wet himself. "Oh god! I'm late!" Gill cried, jumping out of his bed and stumbling through the house, getting himself prepared for the rest of the day. Nearly tripping ten times, and three sweater vests later, he was out the door. Sure, he didn't look as clean as usual, but he hated being late. He even had to improvise because he'd used all of his hairspray on her fields. Yes, he used hairspray, and it was perfectly manly.

Gill ran up to the town hall to see his father prancing around the square. Not walking, not jogging, but prancing. It was a wonder he was even created. If anybody blamed Gill of being homosexual, it was his father's fault. He was just too... feminine... His mother had been feminine too... but... Ach! He just had a weird family. But, when the town was perfect, it didn't really matter. Coolly, Gill walked up to his very short father and tapped his shoulder. Gill cleared his throat lightly and looked down.

"Did you, tell Angela about the farm?" Gill questioned, as if nothing was wrong. His father, not being the brightest on hidden intentions nodded happily.

"You should have been their Gill! Oh, she was so happy! I swear she could've lifted the whole island if she wanted to! Her eyes were shining, it was like giving a giant lollipop to the world's happiest child! Ahh, such a sweet girl. You haven't talked to her much, have you? You should! You're the son of the Mayor, and you'd do well to give her a welcome!"

Mayor Hamilton's demeanor had changed from happy and carefree to pushy. Yep... he was a weird one alright.

"Mm, I already gave her a welcome, it's not my fault if I have a job." Gill said simply, before receiving a punch in the gut by his father. Gill bent over, more in surprise than in pain before he noticed he was eye to eye with his father now.

"Hospitality son, hospitality!" Hamilton said, grabbing Gill's ear, "I didn't give you countless lessons in etiquette and business relations to just blow off a new islander!"

"Geez!" Gill said, "Alright, alright!" Gill gave up and rubbed his ear with a frown. But, Mayor Hamilton just looked up, smiling happily at his boy. But suddenly, Gill smelled something awful... terrible... absolutely disgusting, and he smiled to himself.

'Ahh... I just love the smell of skunk in the afternoon.' Gill thought, laughing inwardly. But, his smile instantly disappeared and he covered his nose. Maybe... he'd overdone it. Now he had to smell it too. But somehow... it was sweet. Revenge was always, always, always sweet. But, something was wrong. He didn't hear any screaming, or loud sobs. He didn't hear anything besides his father's loud complaining that Gill had let one go, even though it was obvious that he hadn't.

But, maybe she'd checked out the barn first. Yeah, that was it, she'd checked out the barn first and now she was on her way to her house. If what he'd done in there didn't help the eventual moving process then he'd have more thinking to do.

---

Gill had waited the entire afternoon to hear some crying or sobbing coming up to the town hall, a certain someone who smelled like skunk who would probably appreciate Elli's help in pulling herself back together. But... alas... nothing. There wasn't even a hint of information out there. Had she stayed on her farm and skulked by herself? No... it wasn't likely. Somebody was probably going to go and check out the smell and see her crying... right? Ugh! It was killing him! She had to go! There was no way anybody could pull through something like that. Fields hard as rock, a skunky barn, not to mention he'd ruined every piece of furniture in that house, and switched the light switch to turn on the blender and the blender to turn on the light.

But, when it came time to leave for work, there was nothing. Not even a rumor of the farmer herself. But, what if his wish had come true? What if she'd had enough and already left? Yes! Yes! That was it, yes! That had to be it, it just had to be! But... it was too early to celebrate. No, he had to go somewhere... the bar maybe? Yeah... they had all the rumors.

---

The bar opened about an hour after Gill got out of work, so he had some time.. Well, maybe to look a bit more... like the others? Nobody liked his fashion sense, they'd made it clear. How were they to share anything if he didn't look like them? It was a false sense of security thing... So, Gill went home, trying on various outfits and trying different styles of clothing.

He tried Luke's style, but it was ill fitting, and he was fairly sure nobody wanted to see him even with an unbuttoned vest on, let alone a bandanna. He tried Calvin's style, but he felt too much like Indiana Jones. He was sure there was a whip in the closet somewhere, but he really didn't want to get it out. He was going to the bar, not trick or treating. He tried Julius... but that was a no go. A definite no go. He didn't want to go from borderline gay to all the way.

Gill shook his head. twenty minutes had already passed, and here he was, looking like a prince backup dancer in Owen's outfit. All he needed were some earrings and he'd be good to go. Everyone else's styles just weren't for him. Toby's was too relaxed, and Chase constantly looked like a restaurant worker. And all the older men had more relaxed fitting clothes that just weren't for Gill either. He tried a blue tux, similar to his fathers but... it was just too eerie.

And finally, after about forty five minutes of mixing matching and scorching, he found the look. Relaxed fit slacks, a plain white t-shirt, a messy hairstyle and some nice tennis shoes. He looked like a completely different person... and what was better, he looked like a person that would fit in with the rest of the odd bunch of people. Why he had made such a fuss about something so simple he would never know. Heck... it was probably just a guy thing.

It was a good thing he'd decided against the emo look.

---

So, it was onto the bar. He opened the door and walked inside, trying to avoid any strange looks that would have come his way. He sat at one of the tables and waited. It was Maya that finally approached him and gave him a menu. Gill smiled up at her and Maya looked like she was about to faint.

"Uh.. uhm.. Hi." Maya finally said, "Would you like something to drink, Gill?"

Gill looked at the menu and then smiled up at Maya. "How about some tomato juice?" Gill questioned.

Maya looked disappointed for a moment and her brow furrowed. "Uhm..."

Gill looked at her face and wondered for a moment. "Well... something wrong?"

"Yeah actually." Maya said, looking to the ground, "We had to run a tomato bath for the new farmer. She was sprayed right on by a skunk, the poor thing. We used all of the tomatoes, we'll have to get more before we have tomato juice back on the menu."

Gill was only slightly disappointed. "Oh." Gill said, but not for the farmer, for the juice. It was his absolute favorite. But, hearing that she'd gotten sprayed lifted his spirits slightly, "I'll have a blueberry cocktail then." Gill said with a small apologetic smile.

"I knew you'd understand." Maya said with a smile before walking back and ordering for him. Well, she'd gotten sprayed. Step one was complete... but... she hadn't moved yet. Man, it took a lot to break that farmer. There still had to be something... a weakness maybe? It was driving him crazy.

But then, Gill heard news of the farmer again, this time a whispering between the blacksmith and the carpenter at the next table. So Gill, being the cunning one he was, acted normal and bored as he listened in on their conversation.

"Could you believe that?" Ramsey questioned to Dale under his breath, "All of the tools, demolished! I knew they were rusty.. but not that bad!"

"I know what you mean." Dale cut in, "I hadn't made those beds a year ago, and no damage had come to any of them! And the cabinets... some of my finest work! They don't just fall off of the hinges and split into pieces from a mere hundred pounds, not even from a thousand pounds."

"Should we just give her new ones? I mean, we don't really have the money to give things away, but the girl is penniless!" Ramsey said, taking another sip of his beer.

"No. She'll have to get them like everyone else. She'll have to pay for it. It's a shame too, after today I'd think that she'd need a little TLC."

"Here's your drink!" Maya said cheerily. Gill looked up to her with a raised eyebrow and then smiled. "Uh, thanks." Gill said, receiving a smile from Maya. She left and let him drink by himself. Step two was complete. Her furniture and tools had been ruined, or weakened to the max. Not that it mattered. She couldn't get through her land without anything more than a golden hoe... until it rained of course. That would send it deeper into the soil and make all of her crops decent or less. See, he'd thought this through pretty nicely. If she wasn't already bawling, she would be soon enough.

After about an hour and three more drinks, Gill set out from the bar and started walking home before he heard a noise from a bush behind him. He shrugged it off as nothing, but when he heard it again, he couldn't help it. Gill walked over to the oddly noisy bush and peered through, coming face to face that... thing... known as Angela.

Gill let out a surprised yell and stumbled back, landing on his butt before watching her emerge from the bushes.

"Gill... will you... help me?"

Surprised!? :D I am. :3 Enjoy, cause the next chapter may or may not take awhile.