Hey guys! What's up? So.. uh.. last chapter got only…1 review and I was guessing what went wrong… I was thinking that maybe you didn't get the update in your email or something like that and then I thought that maybe the reason THAT happened is because the chapter sucked. If so I'm very sorry about it and I'll try to write better. Unfortunately, this chapter is still not gonna have a lot of tike because it's actually the most important one from all those "blina related episodes". But I'll se what I can do for you… So anyway… Enjoy!
Tina's POV
It's Diva week in Glee club. Hell yeah! Finn and Mrs. Pillsbury announce it in Glee club today. It's time to kick some serious butt. Mrs. Pillsbury gives us the definition of the word – boring, I know exactly what being a diva means – and as it seems the rest of the glee club finds her example boring too cause everyone is paying attention to Unique –it makes me smile. I'm sure he'll say something about him and his inner and outer diva.
"You all might as well just quit while you're ahead cause there's only two ways of spelling Unique and one of them is D-I-V-A. Diva" I'm on the urge of rolling my eyes when he suddenly points at me while saying "by the time you even pick out a wig" I point at me self too stunned to understand at first. I see Marley smirking so I HAVE to speak before he says something else… oh wait he just did "looking at you clocking that shirt" I see Artie looking at me with his mouth open so I respond to Unique putting my confident face on.
"I have more Diva in my little finger than you have in your whole angry inch Wade Unique" I say back and I hear Sam chuckling so I smile at my words. Unique seems speechless. I smile wider while Marley speaks.
"Tina you kinda 've been talking some ridiculous trash for months unchallenged and that stops now"
Oh Marley, Marley, you stupid kid. You don't even have the right to look at me, you can't speak to me like that. I raise my finger ready to speak back but Blaine interrupts me saying that guys can be divas too. Yes Blaine sweetheart they can. But please let me finish my sentence first sweet pie.
"You guys" speaks Brittany so I turn to look at her "I'm gonna win diva week. And you know how I know that? It's because I am a DIVA" she points out and that's when Mrs. Pillsbury ends her story and I clap uninterested. When we get out of the choir room everyone is looking at each other.
"It's a competition" says Unique and I raise an eyebrow.
"Even though it's a group number we're gonna perform on our own for the real Diva week" I point out and everyone's nodding.
"Who's participating?" asks Blaine and after giving him a quick smile I almost shout.
"Me of course"
"And me of course" says Unique. Marley, Blaine and Brittany enter the competition too and I turn to look at the others.
"You are going to help us" I almost threaten them and they seem scared enough because they agree. Sam is helping me and I order him to brush my fury coat while I fix my makeup. He passes his hand from my butt and I slap his hand quickly – what the hell is going with him lately?
I, Unique, Brittany, Blaine, Marley –and out of nowhere Kitty- walk on the catwalk and perform Diva by Beyonce. I do my best. It's another opportunity to shine and I have to grab EVERY opportunity to shine. And I did!
The next day I walk down the halls when I spot Blaine in front of his locker. He's been sick those days. My poor baby. I walk up to him and while he coughs I smile.
"Here I put together a little cold buster kit for you"
"Cool… How did you know?" he seems surprised.
"Your nose was red yesterday"| I say pouting a little bit at his face. When I tell him so he looks at his nose in the mirror so I try to tranquilize him.
"Start off with cough tabs, then two packs of…"his face is priceless. He looks like a puppy "…a cup of my homemade Chinese soup and finish with my secret weapon nighttime cold medicine"
"Awww thank you" he says smiling "I really appreciate it" he says and I feel extremely satisfied with myself "This is gonna make me feel better in no time. Except from maybe the nighttime cold medicine"
"Why? It's amazing" I say shocked.
"It just makes me really sleepy and lousy. Which is something I can't afford to be right now, not with Diva week and…" he seems so stressed but also amazing. He's so cute when he's ill. I wonder what other part of his character I haven't seen yet. Focus Tina he's talking to you. Oh and he started walking, follow him "I wanna be able to prove that men can be divas too" Smile Tina, nod, great. Go on "It's why I'm gonna give 'em a full dose of some Freddy Mercury just to show how the boys can really bring some diva attitude"
"Mr. Anderson you find ways to inspire me every day" I smile touching my arm slightly to his.
"Aww, thanks Tina" he smiles and I giggle.
So Blaine sings Don't stop me now and he's amazing –as always. Everyone is singing with him and then we're all clapping at him. I wonder when I'm gonna make my own thing. Hmmmm, maybe tomorrow. Or not.
Cause the next day Finn and Mrs. Pillsbury gather us in Glee club to show us a guest who's a Diva…. And that is… Correct. Who else? Santana Lopez. I roll my eyes and exhale deeply. I try to put a straight face but I'm pretty sure that my nonchalance is visible and clear. Everyone cheers –except from me- and the reason she's back is revealed. Ok… Maybe it's my fault she's here again. Maybe, just maybe I called her some time ago informing her about Brittany and Sam but only just to get revenge for taking my part in Grease. Stupid and immature, I know… But I had to do something. I was so excited back then.
"One word. Bram. Gotta go hun" Those were my exact words… I'm paying my own actions now I guess…
It's a day after Santana's appearance that I finally look at everything more seriously. So… in honor of Diva week let's just cut the crap and keep it real. Tina Cohen Chang deserves better. I got upstaged yet again by Santana. She doesn't even go to school here. As I walk down the halls I see Blaine in front of his locker again. Look at him… He's like a precious Tiger beat shrinkey with dark pound puppy eyes and his… What am I doing? Mike would totally laugh… I should call Mike… NO I shouldn't. Divas don't call ex boyfriends Tina. Stop being afraid of going after what you want. That's why I walk straight up to Blaine with a confident look on my face.
"Hey Bling Bling. Feeling better?"
"Hey Tina I'm not. It's worse" he speaks and I try to concentrate to what he's saying.
"Here I got you this. It's vapor rub" I explain where I got it from and he looks so thankful.
"Aww thanks Lady. You're so sweet"
And by that he ruins everything. Great. Just perfect. Tina Cohen Chang is a sweet girl. Just great. Why don't you better slap me in the face? Sweet? Really? Maybe that's why no one takes me for serious. My back finds the lockers next to Blaine's locker and I see from the corner of my eye that he's looking at me.
"What? What I said?"
"I don't wanna be sweet. I wanna be the girl that kicks in the door and makes the mans and gets what she wants. But let's be honest. No one things Diva and pictures me"
"What are you talking about?" he interrupts me "There are tons of badass Asian Divas. Lucy Lu, Bai Ling, BD Wong…"
Yeah so? I am not one of them okay? And I won't ever be.
"Ok you're coming to my house after school tonight. We're gonna bring out your inner diva if it kills me"
"Aww Blainey days" I say and try to look cool but my heart beats fast. His house? Alone? Me and him? Like… today? This is so sudden… But I have to take this chance to my advantage. Blaine want to let him help m, he wants to be closer to me – I know it's more like… in a friendlier way than I see him but still I want to try this out. Maybe it's time to be honest to him. Talk to him about… us. About what I feel. I call my mom to tell her that I'm gonna go to Blaine's house and I hear her suspicious tone but I ignore it. Some hours later Blaine let's me in his house. God I'm so nervous. This is it. I'm gonna be honest about my feelings to this awesome person… What if he rejects me? No, I shouldn't be thinking like that. Think positive. I sit on his bed and look at his photos after I take my shoes off. I hear him coughing so I turn to look at him but I quickly take my look away from his when I ask the next question.
"Have you ever been with a girl?"
"No… perfect gold star gay, except one time I kissed Rachel Berry"
"That doesn't count" I smile.
"Well… I don't like girls… I love them. They 're very kind and sensitive" he lays on the bed looking at me with his gorgeous eyes "their bodies are beautiful…" he continues and I sit properly so I can look at him better.
"Thank you. You know… on behalf of girls everywhere"
"But loving one… that way… It's not who I am" Well he's honest. Although it's not what I really want to hear from him.
"We're young. We'll have time to find ourselves" I say and he smiles.
"Exactly. Which is why… you're about to find your inner diva. I took the liberty …" he goes on and the only thing that matters now is him. His will to help me… he's so perfect. Perfect for me "You should open the laptop I don't want to give you my germs" I hear him saying so I open his laptop and take a look at the list.
"Wow I can't believe you went old school diva… Aretha, Madonna. Do you really think I can pull this off? I don't even know what to wear…"
"Are you kidding me? You'll kill it. I was thinking we could use… one of those…" he starts yawning and I try not to laugh at his cute face "I'm sorry, it's just the cold medicine that is really… really strong"
"Why don't you lie down?"
"Okay" he says and suddenly he comes really close to me before falling on the bed murmuring "It's a good idea"
This is my chance. This is my green light. I've been hiding my crush for Blaine almost a month now. I… I can't wait anymore. Blaine has to know… And even though he's stated numerous times he's gay and all… I really want to be near him cause he makes me feel so good.
"You know I've been reading a lot about Divas" I say and I feel my voice trembling.
"Mhhhh"
"And the biggest thing is that they're brutally honest and… If I'm going to be a diva, then I have to be honest too"
"Totally" I hear his voice behind me. Come on Tina be strong.
"Blaine" I say his name while my heart beats fast "I'm falling in love with you… and I realize this could be a tragic one way thing but even if we end up" I take a deep breath trying not to let the tears fall "having a sexless relationship, which many Asian girls and gay guys do… it'd be worth it" I stop and bite my lower lip. He doesn't respond. He must be shocked "So please say something here before I die" I chuckle but he doesn't answer at all so I stop smiling and put up a straight face "Blaine?" I ask turning around only to find him sleeping. He's slightly snoring and I go next to him. He didn't hear a thing. Which means that it's like I said nothing. Which brings me back to my earlier misery. What to do now? He hasn't heard me at all, he will wake up seeing me as a friend and he will still be sick needing my friendly comfort.
What if… Maybe it's too much. Oh but… he's asleep. He won't understand it. And it will make him feel better when he wakes up. He will be healthy again. And he will help me with my song too… I start opening his shirt feeling kinda awkward. He's the second boy whose shirt I'm unbuttoning. The first was Mike. Ha! Thinking about it I have unbuttoned Mike's shirt so many times. When Blaine's shirt is open I climb on him and putt my legs on each side of his torso. I start putting the vapor rub in his chest.
Why everything has to be so difficult for me? Why can't I be happy? I'm not asking for much. I'm asking for someone to love me, to always be by my side and care about me. To never leave me. That difficult it is? Mike left me here, we broke up. Blaine is here but at the same time he's not. He's gay. He's in love with Kurt… And Sam. Both Mike and Blaine were perfect. And I'm always the one who ends up with a broken heart. As the tears roll down my face I wipe them away and rest my head on Blaine's chest caressing with my thumb his arm.
When he wakes up I'm ready to go home and he accompanies me to the door. When I arrive home my mom raises an eyebrow and I look away awkwardly. So my plan to tell Blaine failed. Great, just great. I should be feeling sad right now but for some reason I'm more angry than sad. If he hadn't slept he would have heard me. Of course I can't blame him for being ill… but this is not an excuse. And I've been taking care of him all these days.
Three days later the rage is so powerful that even by looking at out photo makes me wanna scream. I pull the photo and throw it in my locker while I walk towards Blaine and Artie.
"Tay-Tay I was just telling Artie how awesome I…"
"Would you excuse us please Artie?" I interrupt Blaine without even looking at Artie.
"But… uh… oh" I hear him say and he has this kind of voice… He knows I'm ready for a fight. So he goes away.
"Is everything ok?" asks Blaine . If everything is ok? NO IT'S NOT "Oh the chicken soup you made me it was magic, I feel great today"
"You wanna know why? Because of me. Because I took care of you" I respond.
"Oh and I guess I used the most of this. I don't know how it happened but it's all gone… Sorry" he smiles and I look at him. I'm pretty sure that if I could do so… I would be fuming "Wait are you mad?" he asks extremely surprised. LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED.
"Look I give you all of my heart. Gladly. And I love hanging out with you. I love y…." Stop Tina. It's not time for confessions "It's sad. Because you don't see that's me that gives you that support"
"Why are you acting so pissed off?"
"Because I get it now. A dive doesn't settle for less of what she wants and she won't apologize for wanting it. And I can't get that here so next time don't come crawling back to me I'm all out of soup" I step back because in some way I approached him when I gave him my speech and when I walk away I hear his voice behind me.
"That seems a little crazy" he says. WHAT? I turn around slowly.
"No that seems a little Tina Cohen Chang. Respect" I say looking him directly in the eyes and then walk away. Later this day I perform my song for diva week. Hung up. Everyone seems so impressed by me. I see their surprised looks as I appear with the stereo in my hands. The last two days after the incident in Blaine's house I've been practicing with backup dancers. I even asked help from Unique. And when the song ends everyone is looking at me just like I wanted to. Like a diva.
"Wow Tina" says Finn but he seems too shocked to say more.
"Tina, that was the most amaz…" says Mrs. Pillsbury but stops stunned.
"Don't even worry about it" I say with the towel on my shoulder and walk away… just like a diva.
When I arrive home I'm literally jumping up and down from joy.
"Judging by your face I can tell that it went pretty good" says my mother and I laugh.
"Good? Oh no mum. It went excellent! Everyone was speechless"
"I'm proud of you" she smiles but then her smile falls "I'm pretty sure he would be proud too" she adds and my grin disappears.
"Why? Why would you say that mum? Why do you always ruin my mood?" I shout and get in my room hitting the door.
Yeah he would be proud too… Who cares? I don't need his opinion. Or his cheering. Or his hug. Or his warm hands around my waist. Nothing at all… I hear a knock on my door.
"Come in" I say and I see my mum opening my door.
"Can I talk to you?" she asks and I try to stop the urge of rolling my eyes.
"Sure" I answer and she gets in and sits next to me on my bed.
"Look Tina… I'm your mum and you know that I love you more than anything in the world. And I don't want to make you feel sad or bad. I just want to help you"
"You don't mum. Referring to him doesn't help"
"You can't see it of course and you won't ever admit it but every time someone refers to him your pretty eyes get bigger. They shine. And even though you deny it despite the fact that he's your wound, he's your medicine too"
"Mum" I try to say but she interrupts me.
"Just listen to me…" she raises a hand "I know it's hard for you and it seems like you are afraid that if you go back to him you will lose your oh so new personality… which isn't new at all because you always were straight and honest to everyone. You just do it louder right now. But you are the same Tina Cohen Chang everyone loves and cares about"
"No one cares about me" I whisper and she looks at me confused.
"What are you talking about? Everyone cares about you. I care about you. Your dad cares about you. Your friends too. And Mike… He called last afternoon to ask me if you are ok. He told me not to tell you but I don't think I want to keep it a secret anymore. He cares so much about you…"
"He… called? Really?"
"Yes he did. Because he wants to know if you're happy and ok"
"Ok so what?"
"Unblock him, send him a message that you're ok, communicate with him. Because even though he tried to forget you, it's hard for him. As hard it is for you too. So please do me this favor… Don't take him out of your life just like that ok?" she asks and I look at her biting my lip.
"Kay" I murmur and look at the floor.
"Ok so… I.. I'm going down ok?" she says and I nod. And then I'm alone again.
I don't know what to think right now. I don't know whether I should listen to my mum or just keep on doing my own thing. I've been ok without him… Really. I mean… I found a new love interest too… A dysfunctional one but still it's a love interest. And we decided to move on with our lives… Mum said that it's difficult for him as it is for me. How am I sure she's right? Because I feel the only one hurt in this situation.
When I get up from my bed and approach my computer the same exact words echo in my head. Unblock him, send him a message that you're ok, communicate with him. Because even though he tried to forget you, it's hard for him. As hard it is for you too.
So I unblock him. But I don't send him a message. I'm not ready yet. Unblocking him was a great step for me. It means that I might leave him an open window to get in my life again. It's too much for me.
The next day everyone sits in Glee club and we wait for Finn and Mrs. Pillsbury.
"And the winner is…"
I look at Blaine feeling a lot calmer towards him so I try to joke…
"If it's Santana I swear…"
"Tina Cohen Chang"
…
…..
Me? I won? I won Diva week? There… There might be some mistake… But.. no. It can't be a mistake… I… I deserve it. They selected me… I hear everyone cheering and the confetti falls on me. I'm pretty sure my face is priceless right now. I get up smiling and everyone claps and I get my award making a curtsey.
I won Diva week. This is amazing. I feel so appreciated. I can't believe it. For the rest of the time I have a silly grin on my face and I look at my award every five seconds. It's when I hear Blaine's voice behind me.
"Hmm no diva performance is complete without flowers" he approaches me with a handmade red rose.
"Aww how sweet. Literally" I look at the rose and smile at him.
"Well no one deserved to win this bigger than you. I've been waiting for people to finally see the epic diva that is Miss Tina Cohen Chang" he says while we walk to the halls and I chuckle at his words "I also owe you an apology" he says and my face turns serious "I'm sorry I've been ungrateful this week, the truth is I wouldn't have survived without you. That little cold buster kit you made me not only annihilated my cold but it made me realize that you are the most important person at me at the school right now" he says making me smile at his words "I haven't felt this close to anyone in a long time"
"You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that" I smile at him widely.
"I have a proposition for you" he says and I raise an eyebrow "Would you be my date to Mr. Schue's wedding next week?" he asks and I feel I'm about to fly in the sky.
"Yes" I say grinning like a fool "Of course" and he turns around giving me his arm and I pass my arm in his while we walk to my locker. When I arrive home I show my mother my award.
"Tina sweetheart this is amazing. Congratulations" she hugs me and I hug her back.
"Thanks mum this means a lot to me" I respond and I hug my father too.
"Congratz kiddo. I'm proud of you"
"Thanks dad" I smile and look at my trophy again. Everyone is so proud of me. Blaine, my parents, me. I'm pretty sure Mike would be proud too. Before I can control myself I send him a message. It's a small one but it feels liberating. When I lift my head I see my mum looking at me and I smile sheepishly while she responds the smile widely.
Mike's POV
"Hey dude your cell phone is ringing" I hear my roommate's voice and I stop making my sandwich to go get my phone.
"Who called?" I ask and he shrugs.
"It's a message" he says bored and I roll my eyes. I take the cell phone in my hands and open the message. And my hands numb "Who is it?"
"It's… It's Tina…" I respond and my roommate stands up immediately.
"Tina as your ex girlfriend Tina Cohen Chang?" he asks but I ignore him. I read the message.
From Tina:
Hey Mike. How are u? Thanks for calling to see if I'm ok!
So Mrs. Cohen Chang told her… This woman just can't keep a secret. Although I don't care that much. If she hadn't told Tina, she wouldn't have texted me. I type back quickly.
To Tina:
Hey T! Yeah I was wondering if you're ok cause you didn't answer to any of my messages all this time. I'm fine thanks. What happened with Diva week?
Her answer comes in a few seconds. Like she was waiting for my message all this time.
From Tina: How do you know about Diva week?
So simple… No reference to her ignorance to respond to my messages.
To Tina: Puck's dating Kitty. He told me… So what happened?
Puck didn't tell me who won. He kept on describing the last date he had with Kitty with creepy details… Not the best experience.
From Tina: I won!
She won. She won Diva week. My girlfriend… I mean my ex girlfriend, won Diva week. This is… amazing. This is incredible. She must have done such a good job. And I wasn't there to see it… But I have to keep my enthusiasm low. We're not together anymore and it would be crazy to just call her right now and tell her how much I love her and how perfect she is.
To Tina: Tina this is amazing! Congratulations. I'm so proud of you!
Yes that's better… And I'm pretty sure that's what she needs to hear too…
From Tina: Thanks Mike! So… You're coming to Mr. Schue's wedding right?
To Tina: Yeah of course. I wouldn't miss it for anything!
From Tina: So I'm gonna see you there?
Does that mean she wants to see me there?
To Tina: Yeah sure. Who are you going with?
From Tina: Blaine, but as friends… you know…
Last time I checked this "relationship" Tina seemed to be crazy about him… like… in love or something. I don't even want to think about it.
To Tina: Great, I'm gonna see you there then
From Tina: Kay. We'll talk later… Take care!
Take care? The last time she said that was when we broke up. The very first time.
To Tina: You too!
"So?" I hear my roommate's voice and I look at him.
"I'm gonna see her next week in Mr. Schue's wedding…"
"Is that good or bad?"
"I think good… Actually… I think it's very good" I say with a smile in my face and I return to make my sandwich. I'm gonna see her next week. It's so close yet so far away…
Patience… That's what I need to do. Still this feeling in my stomach won't go away so easily...
Sorry guys! I hope it didn't suck as the previous one! Next one is gonna have SO much tike that it will make you have a smile on your face. Our babies are gonna be so good in the next chapter! See ya!