When Neville returned home, the rain had stopped. His mother and children took advantage of the relatively good weather and held a Herbology class in the garden. They seemed rather cheerful. Neville tried to slip into the house unnoticed. He didn't want to trouble them with his problems.

This attempt wasn't successful though. His mother caught up with him. "Neville dear, what's the matter. You're so pale. What did they do to you?"

"Nothing. We only talked," Neville said. He tried to make his voice sound calm but it didn't work very well.

"Alright. Francis, Debbie, listen," she called. "I need to talk to your Dad. You draw your three sets of leafs and flowers and show them to me later."

The children gave their okay and Alice put an arm around her son, steering him into the house. Neville hadn't wanted to tell her right away but maybe it was really better that way. He'd have it over with quickly if he did it right away and his mother seemed to have a relatively good day.

They walked up the creaking staircase and into Alice's room. "The Silencing charms will come useful," she said. "Even though our children aren't into eavesdropping as far as I know. Sit down and have a glass of water."

Neville drank and took a deep breath. He didn't really know how he was supposed to break the news to his mother gently.

"What's happened? Does Lestrange know about the Order?"

Neville gave her an astonished look. "How do you know that?"

"Merlin and Morgana help us," Alice exclaimed. "I've simply added two and two," she said more calmly. "He has been here and used Legilimency on you while you were severely weakened. It wasn't hard to guess."

Neville swallowed. "He says he's known about it before. No idea if it's true."

Alice shrugged. "Doesn't really matter. So he doesn't want to tell You-Know-Who at the moment? If you're asking yourself why I know, you're here which you wouldn't be if he wanted to hand you in. You don't seem to believe we're in immediate danger either or else you wouldn't have tried to sneak to your room without warning us."

"Yes, you're right," Neville said. He was glad that she wasn't panicking or anything. She actually took the news much more calmly than he had.

"From Lestrange's point of view, telling the Dark Lord right now wouldn't make much sense," Alice added.

"Why do you think so?" Neville didn't understand why Lestrange had made this choice and he understood even less why his mother considered it the most likely one.

"Well, I don't think he has ever been very devoted to You-Know-Who on a personal level. Maybe you remember the situation in the Pensieve with Cordelia Savage's treatment. He didn't respect him but actively challenged him. I don't think this has ever really changed. I believe he joined because he wanted power and someone who told him that he could use dark magic without those bothersome moral scruples other people expected him to have."

Neville had always believed that Rodolphus Lestrange like his wife strongly believed in the Dark Lord's way of ruling a country and his belief in pure-blood supremacy. The idea that Lestrange had committed his crimes because of something he believed was much easier to bear than the thought he had simply done it without any really reason.

"I think he's on his own side and maybe on his family's as well," Alice added.

Neville thought that this was probably true. What had he told him? He'd try to get information about the Order out of Neville if he was sure that it would benefit Bellatrix.

"Lestrange wouldn't gain anything from telling You-Know-Who the truth," Alice said. "He's skilled enough at Occlumency to hide it efficiently therefore the danger for him is minimal. If he told him, he'd have to admit that he has failed when he and his wife were given the task to get you on their side. They would lose standing but win nothing for handing you in. Not something a Slytherin would do. He'd also be forced to stop this little game he's been playing all along. If we're both dead it's over. I don't think he wants that either."

What his mother said made sense, Neville thought. At least the first part did. It was the very first time he was discussing the current situation with his mother like said and he was glad that it was possible. She had more insights than he gave her credit for, he had to admit that.

"This could be true," Neville said.

"I'm quite sure. It's not You-Know-Who we have to worry about at the moment, it's Lestrange. He wouldn't have told you if he didn't intend to use it against you or against both of us." She sighed. "I've told you already, I've spent plenty of time trying to figure out what he might want with us but so far, I haven't reached a conclusion. Maybe the closeness between the two of you is all he wants. Acting like a fatherly friend to you while your father can't be there because of him. Giving you the feeling the two of you are in this together would strengthen this of course."

"I don't see him as a "fatherly friend," Neville protested. "If I would, I wouldn't be scared of him turning me in to You-Know-Who, would I?"

"This is only speculation on my part," Alice said. "I didn't intend to accuse you of anything. You're right, speculation won't lead us anywhere. I'd be glad if you'd be a bit more open with me in future though. Some things are easier to understand if two people think them though. We might be able to spot danger earlier this way."

Neville sighed. "I don't want to bother you with all those things and make it even harder for you."

"Really Neville. I've been an Auror and I've probably received far more bad news during my life than you ever did. I am able to cope with this kind of thing. Yes, I'm still suffering from the after effects of the Lestranges' Cruciatus curse but that doesn't affect everything else. You can stop treating me like a small child!"

Neville inhaled sharply. A flush crept over his face as he remembered how Lestrange had told him the exact same thing a little while ago. He surely wasn't going to share this bit of information with his mother. Maybe it would really be better if he told her about the Dark Lord's new policy though.

"Alright. I'll try to tell you more in future. There's another problem for us. Something else Lestrange told me about. It concerns you."

Neville feared that his mother would lose her calm when she received this information but to his surprise she listened patiently. Only her tightly folded hands indicated that the information did bother her.

"It's not unexpected," she said when Neville had finished. "I've been surprised that they've been so lenient for so long. They didn't want to provoke too much resistance before the new government was firmly established. Now they don't have to worry about that anymore and they can treat us more harshly."

She took a deep breath. "It's a choice between two rather uninviting prospects as you surely know."

Neville was surprised. He hadn't expected her to take this so calmly. Lestrange hadn't been so wrong when he had told Neville to "simply" tell her the truth. Sometimes, she took things Neville found absolutely shocking very calmly as she did today and sometimes, she panicked over something that seemed completely unimportant to Neville. This unpredictability made it so difficult for him to speak to her about important matters.

"Things won't stay the way they are. If you and Lestrange do declare me ill, I'll be locked up in here and I'll depend on him. We're depending on him anyway as we know but if he's personally involved with my status; it's a different matter again. Changing it wouldn't have very dire consequences for anyone else but it could shake up my life whenever he felt like it. I don't fancy the prospect of living like that. I don't want to give him any immediate power over my life if I have a choice."

Neville sighed. "I know it's not easy."

"Yes. The other option is very hard as well of course. It would mean humiliating myself in front of all the Death Eaters. I'd have to see my former enemies again and let them mock me. Still, it would be one day and if You-Know-Who granted me the citizenship, I'd be free afterwards. Well, as free as I can be the way things are. The question is if I can go through this or not and I can't really answer this myself."

Neville was surprised that she seriously considered this option. When Lestrange had mentioned it, he had been sure that she'd never want to do this under any circumstances.

"If this were only about me, I'd join Remus, Kingsley and the others. I'd go into hiding, maybe faking my own death or something. I've thought about this before. It's rather tempting but I know how much it would harm the entire family. Even if I faked my death, you probably wouldn't be able to fake grief convincingly and I don't want to do this to the children either."

Neville felt a wave of guilt washing up inside him. She was right. If she was alone, she'd be able to flee like that. She wouldn't be forced to choose one of those two terrible options.

"If it was only about me, I'd tell you to go if that is what you want," Neville said. "I can't do that though. I'm responsible for the children."

"I know that. It can't be done. The same goes for leaving the country. In both cases, you and the children would be forced to face the consequences. And I don't really want to run away anyway. I want to be able to make a difference somehow and I want to be there if one day the time for fighting comes."

"You don't have to decide this today," Neville said.

"I know I don't have to. The more quickly I do it the better though. I simply don't think I can bear being locked up here forever. If everything goes the natural way, only half of my life is over. In a little bit more than three years, the children will go to Hogwarts. I'd like to have a job by then you know."

She had never mentioned that she was interested in a job before, Neville thought. There was so much he still didn't know about her.

"I know you're doing everything you can for me, please don't get me wrong," Alice said. "But I don't want to live like that for the rest of my time. Legally, I'm not allowed to take a job, not allowed to open my own vault at Gringotts, not even allowed to buy robes without your permission. I've been locked up at Saint Mungo's for fourteen years; I don't want to be locked up here for the rest of my life. What do I do when the children are at Hogwarts and you're at work? Sit at home thinking about the past, slowly drowning in my own despair. I've had enough of this during the last years even with the children around."

Neville had always known that it was extremely hard for his mother to live with the knowledge that he worked with Lestrange and that the Death Eaters were ruling the country. So far, it had never occurred to him that she was suffering because of her legal status as well. "You've never told me that this is bothering you so much," Neville said. If she had done so, they would have been able to file the plea before Voldemort had given out his new, harsher orders.

"I know. So far, I've always told myself that it's still the better option. I was able to go where I wanted, visit people and so on. If all of this is taken away from me, it's going to be much more difficult."

"Yes, I understand that," Neville said.

It was true but he couldn't think of a solution.

"That's why I think I have to go to You-Know-Who," Alice said. "It's not about becoming a Death Eater after all; I'd never do that of course. But going there and humiliating myself, why not? They don't respect me anyway, it won't make a difference."

Neville stared at her. She seriously wanted to do this? He feared that she was imagining it easier than it really was. It had been harsh enough for him.

"You do know that the Dark Lord is a highly accomplished Legilimens, don't you?" Neville asked. "He'll be able to tell that you don't really mean it."

To Neville's great surprise, his mother smiled. "You might not believe it Neville but your mother is a highly accomplished Occlumens. We learned that during Auror training and both your father and I did very well. That's how he was able to keep the information hidden from the Death Eaters until the very end."

Neville hated to tell her so when she seemed so confident in her own abilities for a change but he had no choice. Before she risked her life, she had to take everything into account. Hadn't Lestrange said she had been very overconfident during the beginning of her time as an Auror? Neville feared that for the first time he witnessed her acting that way himself now. He wasn't as happy about it as he had thought he would be.

"And you are sure that you are still able to do that?"

"Yes, I am sure," Alice said her tone only slightly less confident. "We've learned to deal with memories we have no control over and Occlumency as well. It's not that unusual to have some of those if you're an Auror, at least for short time periods."

"Alright. It's your life and your choice," Neville said. He tried to force himself to speak calmly. "If you want to do this, I won't try to keep you from it."

He would have preferred the other option, it seemed so much safer. He knew however that he couldn't force his mother into the position of an insane patient for the rest of her life against her will.

"Yes, I do. Maybe I can even use these memories to my advantage. The more weak and defeated I look the less they consider me a threat. This can come in very useful in the future. I'm going to do it. Do you know how the procedure works?"

"Well, I've done it once," Neville said with a sigh. "I'll help you contact the necessary people. And we have to tell Hannah as well."

"I think I'll apologise to her. She doesn't need to know that I don't really mean it. I probably really won't get her away from You-Know-Who if I'm too blunt. Have to try it in more subtle ways."

"That's a good idea," Neville said hoping that at least the constant argument between the two witches would come to an end this way. It was the least of his problems but they had to start somewhere. And maybe, just maybe the Death Eaters would treat his mother civilly and she'd really improve when she as an accepted citizen.

Maybe.