Her Hardest Path

"You don't really want to go like that, do you?" Hannah sighed in exasperation.

Alice rolled her eyes. "I don't think it makes any difference."

"Of course it does. Your robes are far too wide and you have to stick them up in odd places. They've gone out of fashion ages ago as well. Just imagine you were going to meet the Minister of Magic. You would try to give a good impression too, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, well. I don't really have anything else though." She had planned to buy new robes months ago, but so far, she had never felt like venturing into the busy Diagon Alley fashion shops.

"I can lend you something of mine," Hannah offered. "Wait a moment."

Alice's daughter-in-law had accepted her apology. She was really excited about Alice's plans to become an official citizen of the Voldemort-ruled wizarding community. To her, it was a cause of celebration. Alice didn't like her attitude about it anymore than she had in the past but she knew that she wouldn't achieve anything arguing by now. Hannah wasn't evil and she cared about her family, there were no doubts about that even though she could be a bit naive at times.

Hannah wanted to celebrate Alice's admittance; she didn't doubt that the Dark Lord would accept her. Alice herself wasn't so sure. She had felt rather confident when she had shared her plans with Neville but doubt had started to creep up again since then. Maybe she was making a grave mistake and gave everything away. Or she had been overconfident in her own ability to cope with the situation she was facing. What if she felt much, much worse afterwards? Fear and painful memories almost were the thing she was most afraid of.

Hannah returned with her robes. They were black with small coloured bands on the collar and the hem. If you looked closely, the bands resembled red, blue, yellow and green snakes on shining fabric.

"That's really nice," Alice said. She wasn't sure if she wanted to wear anything with stylized snakes on it but maybe it appropriate for the thing she was going to do. "I think I'll have to kneel on the floor or something though. I really don't want to get your pretty robes dirty."

"Don't worry," Hannah said. "They have anti-stain charms on them. Just try them on so we see if they fit." She handed Alice the robes and something that looked like a pair of black leggings. "That's so you're covered up if the winds blows the robes aside," she explained. "Shouldn't really be a problem in this weather but they go well with it."

Alice was grateful for this addition. She didn't know what was going to happen but she wanted to be fully clothed during it. She never ever wanted to be tortured wearing nothing but a night gown again. She knew how absurd this sounded but she kept thinking about it for some reason. Rodolphus' hands on her bare shoulders still made her shiver with disgust so many years later.

She tried the robes on and they really seemed to fit. Hannah was more petite than Alice had been in the past but her now overly thin body fit comfortably into robes and leggings.

"Much better," Hannah said when Alice returned from the bathroom. "I've never worn them yet so you don't have to worry about that either. Now we need to do something about your hair."

Alice refrained from commenting. In the situation she was facing, wearing robes someone else had been seen with before would be a minor problem indeed. Still, she was grateful for Hannah's fussing in a way; it took her mind off more grave matters.

Hannah wanted to tie Alice's hair up in a knot but she insisted on a simple ponytail. It wouldn't look quite as bad if anything happened. When she had finally finished, it was already time for dinner. Alice didn't feel like eating at all. She was unable to swallow a single bite. Even watching the others eat made her feel rather nauseous. Better not to have much in her stomach if she vomited everything up again later.

If things went badly, this might be the last time she saw her family. The children were at the Bones' once again. She didn't want them to see her in a bad state like Roderic had been forced to with his mother. If something went wrong, they might be safer there as well. Alice had tried to give them a normal goodbye but she felt that they had probably noticed something. Alice went to the bathroom once more and sat down again, still not touching anything. "We can have a quick midnight meal when you return," Hannah said.

"Yes, that would be nice," Alice said. If everything went well, she'd surely be hungry then.

Alice was relieved when she heard the doorbell ring. The longer she had to wait, the worse it would get. She hugged Neville and Hannah goodbye and tried to look confident. She didn't want them to feel as worried as she did now. It had been her choice and she had to go through with it alone.

Alice went out into the garden. The wards had been dropped for this occasion because Neville didn't want to spend time on the complicated blood wards. He was going to put them up again when Alice was gone.

Dylan Mulciber and Theodore Nott stood in front of the gate, both wearing their hooded black Death Eater cloaks. Mulciber wore the badge with the snake and the shield that marked him as a Security Officer as well. He was the Death Eater who had suggested to Alice that she should try and brew the Goldberry Potion when she had met him in Diagon Alley. The youngest Mulciber and Theodore Nott had volunteered to be her witnesses in front of the Dark Lord. It was a very strange feeling. Death Eaters visiting to take her away more or less willingly. The feeling that she had made a grave mistake grew stronger and stronger but there was no way back anymore.

"Good evening, Mrs Longbottom," Mulciber said. Alice returned the greeting.

"We've still got a bit of time left but there are a few things we want to explain before we go. You've already decided what you're going to say to the Dark Lord?"

"Yes, I have," Alice said. She had learned the words by heart and hoped she wouldn't forget them in the crucial moment.

"Good," Theodore said. "It's easier than when you have to think it up on the spot."

"Yes. When you speak to the Dark Lord it would be best to address him as "my Lord." It's not a terrible problem if you can't do it but do so if you can," Mulciber said. "Don't use the term "Master" though. Only Death Eaters call him that."

"Alright," Alice said. She intended to be as polite and submissive as possible; it was part of her plan.

"Good. When the Dark Lord arrives, you kneel down," Mulciber said. "He'll ask you who you are you tell him and afterwards he asks you what you're here for. Then you make your little speech. When you've finished, you'll be tested for mind-altering potions and the Imperius curse first."

Alice sighed. Neville had told her about this step. If it hadn't been, she could have drunk a Calming Draught or some Goldberry Potion. Now she had to go through the evening without any potion support. There was something else. "Rodolphus Lestrange is going to do it, isn't he?"

"I assume so," Mulciber said. "He's still the only one with healing training among the Death Eaters."

Alice had expected it but this didn't make it any better. She'd have to come face to face with him and Bellatrix. The last two times where this had happened, she had been able to vanish into the shadows. This time, it wouldn't be possible. All eyes would be on her and she'd be forced to interact with them.

"You haven't taken any potions, have you?" Theodore asked.

Alice shook her head.

"Next, the Dark Lord himself will use Legilimency to test if you really mean it," he explained.

Alice knew about this step already. Her plan was made and she was relatively sure that it worked. If everyone played by the rules there wasn't anything to be feared but she knew that she couldn't expect these people to do so.

"Afterwards, the Death Eaters are allowed to ask you questions," Mulciber continued. "We can reject them if they're inappropriate though and we're going to do so if necessary. When this has been done, the decision is reached."

"You really don't need to be so nervous," Theodore added. "So far, only one person has been rejected and he tried to attack the Death Eaters. That's why you're not allowed to come with a wand anymore."

"Yes, I don't have it with me," Alice said. Being wandless made her feel very helpless but when she was faced with Voldemort and all his Death Eaters having her wand with her wouldn't have done her much good anyway.

Mulciber looked at this watch. "Well, it's time to go. I'll take you side-along-apparition."

A few unpleasant moments later, they reached their destination. A heath with no human dwelling anywhere nearby. They weren't the first people to arrive. Alice saw quite a few figures in black cloaks walking around.

That was it, she was here.

Her companions greeted the others with the Death Eater greeting while Alice wished them a good evening. Theodore's wife Daphne gave her an encouraging smile. She noticed that some of the others were conversing in French and German.

"I'm glad you've finally decided to take this step," a relatively young witch with long blond hair said. "Will make things easier for both you and your son."

Alice remembered that she was called Lisa Turpin. She had sat next to Narcissa on the day when she had talked to Roderic. The thought of the boy made her worry once more. She hoped he hadn't gotten into any trouble with his parents.

A rather handsome young man with dark skin approached her. "Good evening. Blaise Zabini my name."

Alice remembered that name. Zabini was a rather famous young potioneer. She wouldn't admit the source for this knowledge though. Zabini had been the "Wizard of the Month" in Witch Weekly. In the past, Alice had never read this magazine but it was good for easy distraction. Some of the articles had become more sophisticated than they had been in the past or so it seemed.

"Good evening. Alice Longbottom. I've heard of your excellent work on the Wolfsbane potion."

"Oh, that's been nothing special. Only a few slight improvements of an already existing potion," Zabini said.

The arrival of Professor Snape drew his attention away from Alice. Her son's former Potions Master nodded curtly when he saw Alice before starting to discuss some potions details with Zabini. He was surely proud about this successful student from his house. With Neville, his teaching had been far less successful. Only Lestrange had been able to teach him how to make potions during his seventh year.

"Ah, good evening Mrs Longbottom," a rather thickset young man with short brown hair said. "I hoped for a chance to speak to you."

Alice was surprised to hear that. She hadn't expected the Death Eaters' to act that way. Hannah hadn't been so wrong after all. This felt almost like some Ministry event where people from different departments mingled. It had nothing in common with the Death Eater meetings she had witnessed in the past. With the exception of Snape, she had only met Death Eaters of the third generation so far. That was probably why.

"Warren Montague is my name," the wizard said. "I'm head of the Saint Mungo Healing Herb Nursery."

"I'm pleased to meet you," Alice said. Now she remembered that Neville had told her about Montague. He had been rather surprised that the former Slytherin Quidditch player was interested in plants but they seemed to get along quite well.

"Well, when you're an official citizen, you might look for somewhere to work," Montague said. "I might have something for you. I know you've been trained for a different profession but you Fawleys are known for a green thumb."

"Thank you for your offer," Alice said politely. She would certainly consider this. Growing herbs for the hospital was a safe job and one where she'd surely do well.

"We have various part time options as well if you don't want to start with a full job after this long time," Montague continued. "I know, many people don't think working with plants is the most interesting thing but I disagree. Many plants-"

A harsh female voice interrupted him. "Take up your positions. The Dark Lord will arrive soon."

Alice pulled her robes more tightly around herself. She recognised this voice right away. It belonged to Bellatrix Lestrange.

"What's going on here anyway?" Bellatrix asked. "Until this is over, she's an enemy fighter and has to be treated accordingly. You're not supposed to talk to her yet."

Some of the younger Death Eaters rolled their eyes or shared annoyed glances. "Enemy fighter indeed, that's ridiculous. She's the mother of Healer Longbottom." Montague was the only one who said something aloud. Bellatrix had walked on and didn't seem to have heard him but her husband had.

"The procedure has to be observed Montague," Lestrange said. "You really should postpone your job interview until after the meeting."

"It's a mere formality, isn't it?"

"Let's hope so."

Alice was sure that he wanted to frighten her on purpose but that didn't mean it wasn't working. She couldn't deny that she was afraid and it was all her own fault. Maybe she should have listened to Neville.

"Some of you seem to forget that Alice Longbottom was an actual enemy and not some child who put graffiti on Hogwarts walls," Bellatrix told the younger Death Eaters while they began to form a circle.

Alice turned to Theodore. She needed some form of distraction. "You all know before where you have to stand during the meeting?"

"Yes, we do. It has to do with our rank," Theodore explained. "The closer you stand to the Dark Lord the higher your rank. The spaces for the people who aren't here remain empty."

"My father for example," Mulciber said. "He has business abroad. Come on, we will be directly in front of the Dark Lord.

Reluctantly, Alice followed them to the high chair on the other side of the circle. Voldemort was the only one who was going to sit. On his right hand side stood Severus Snape, on his left Bellatrix Lestrange, Rodolphus beside her. Alice suppressed a sigh. She didn't like the arrangements. This way, they'd be watching her all the time. Her eyes gazed over the other Death Eaters. Many of the people close to the Dark Lord where Death Eaters of the second generation as well but Lisa Turpin for example was much closer than Lucius Malfoy. The Carrows were even further away. Alice was glad that so far she hadn't been forced to talk to them.

She recognised Rookwood, Avery, Mr Nott senior and the younger Crabbe and Goyle. The Jugsons were there as well and so were Yaxley and Rowle. Rabastan Lestrange was accompanied by a very pretty witch with curly brown hair who looked quite a bit younger than he was. The vast majority of Death Eaters present had joined after the war or maybe in the last years of the second one.

"The Dark Lord will arrive at any moment," Mulciber told Alice. "You should kneel down now and look ahead."

Alice took a deep breath and knelt down on the grass. It was dry and relatively soft, at least something. Mulciber and Nott remained by her side, standing one step behind her. If she was supposed to look ahead, she couldn't help seeing the Lestranges. Bellatrix was looking eagerly at the empty chair were her Master would sit down soon. Rodolphus on the other hand was more interested in Alice and watched her intently. She hated this. Couldn't he simply ignore her presence as he had done during their last few meetings? Alice didn't meet his eyes. He'd notice how nervous she was which she didn't want him to do.

Alice was almost relieved when the sound of apparition marked the Dark Lord's arrival.