"Beverly"

"Don't you Beverly me, Deanna!"

I can feel Deanna's eyes on me as I balance myself on the training bars. I've been recovering well. It's the 11th day since my injury and spinal shock takes around 14 days to recover starting from the date of damage. Now, I'm able to walk, albeit slowly.

"Beverly!" Deanna's cornering me like a cat, standing right in my way as I make it to the end of the bars, "tell me."

"Can't you figure it out? You're the telepath here." I smile. She can't resist.

"Well I know something has changed, but I want to know the whole story. Did you talk with the Captain?"

I really can't keep it a secret from her. Jean Luc and I plan to tell the senior staff only after we contact Starfleet. But, I suppose that Deanna is a special case, "We're resigning."

"What?" I can tell that is the last thing she was expecting, "what do you mean?"

"We're-"

"You realize that's ridiculous, right?"

"No. Deanna, we both want to have a life outside of Starfleet."

"I can understand that. But, Starfleet has been a mainstay in both of your lives for the better part of 35 years! And in one night you've just decided to leave?" Her tone is almost angry, and I'm suddenly confused.

"Deanna, this wasn't just some spur of the moment decision! We both want to do different things with our lives – notably we want to get married and have children and we're not going to do it on a starship!"

And then the tone in the room changed, "Married! Children!" Deanna squeals.

I hadn't realized how completely rigid my body had become when I was on the defensive until I dropped my shoulders, "yes D-"

"So, how did he ask you? Was it romantic?"

"Well, not outwardly romantic per se, but-"

"Well how did he ask you?"

"He didn't really ask me, he just said something along the lines of 'I want to marry you and have babies' and I just said 'yes'."

"Beverly, this all sounds so anti-climactic…." Deanna is almost disappointed that I didn't mention bouquets of wild roses, horse drawn carriages, music, poetry, and champagne.

"It wasn't actually. It was all very perfectly Jean Luc and I. It's a long story but on the first night back in my quarters we had a long discussion about our previous relationships and how we had hurt each other over the years and that was…well… painful. But then we started talking about how we fell in love and what we both wanted from the future and then it just sort of happened."

I can tell by Deanna's posture and facial expression what's coming next, "so…" so I play along only because it's incredibly entertaining to see her become this giddy, "so, how was he?" Typical Deanna.

"Deanna!" I'm not really surprised, "I haven't – we haven't."

"YOU HAVEN'T?!"

"Deanna – it's not all about sex." I say that, but that's not the whole truth. I would have made love to Jean Luc that night, but I implicitly promised myself that I wouldn't until I could walk and properly move. Not only that, but we were both exhausted. Jean Luc was right: there will be plenty of time for erotic. And I plan on making good use of that time.

"Beverly, I can't believe you. I remember with Odan you were in bed the second day that you met him."

"Deanna! That was different. This is Jean Luc – he's not some wild, passion filled fling."

"That's not the whole truth."

"No. I want to make love to him when I can walk. I want him to slam me against the wall, not hold me up against it. And I'm very assertive in the bedroom and being partially paralyzed does not lend to being my kind of assertive."

"I see. So, when are you getting married? Did you decide?"

"Move, Deanna," as I push her out of the way and hobble over to where my water bottle is. It feels good to be able to walk somewhat. Over the past day and a half I've been able to get rid of the hover chair, although I'm still partially dependent on the walker. "No. We haven't decided. But, something small would suit us both."

"Maybe you should have a Betazoid wedding?" Deanna jokes.

I laugh, imagining everyone naked – not a pretty sight, "No, Deanna. I'll leave that for yours and Will's wedding!"

"Will and I are not together, Beverly."

"Deanna –" should I even get into this? "Well I don't know why! How long have you been on and off now? A decade?"

"12 years…" And then I see payback, "and how long was it with you, 25 years?"

I put my hands up in surrender "ok, ok! Touché,"

"The time is 1400 hours" the cool tone of the computer stated plainly.

"Appointment?" Deanna nods, picking up her uniform jacket and making her way towards the doors.

"I set an alarm. Take care, Beverly and congratulations! I'll talk to you later."

I might have been jovial and maybe even a little cavalier with Deanna about what Jean Luc and I are about to do. But the truth is that I'm a little nervous. I'm nervous about Jean Luc and I making the transition from important starship captain and in-demand-doctor to civilian. Jean Luc in particular has been able to live quite selfishly in his personal life for the past 47 years. Granted, Jean Luc is not a selfish individual, but I still think that living with another person and then becoming a father going to take some getting used to. We have time, though. I'm also worried about how Command is going to take our resignations. I'm sure that no one is going to be happy to see him leave and many are going to be tempted to lure him back.

Come on, Bev, you won't solve anything by worrying!

Even though Jean Luc has been one of my best friends for 25 years, it's still very new for me to come to terms with him as my fiancé and soon my husband and lover. It's such a huge and drastic change in our relationship. Even though Deanna is aghast that we haven't yet made love, I'm partially grateful that we didn't. I would by lying if I said that I did not want to. I do want to. I want to desperately. He's been in my fantasies since I met him. Those fantasies have changed over the years, but they have always involved Jean Luc. I've always imagined him to be a passionate lover. I can see him and I making love slowly while we reverently explore one another.

Okay that's enough! Back to work. I resume my previous position between the walking bars and try desperately not to distract myself with thoughts of Jean Luc's body covering mine and screaming my name in the throes of passion. If that's what I'm going to think about – the physical therapy training room would not be the most prudent location…