Hey guys! It's been a while, and I've kinda had writer's block... This chapter is pretty much a filler, so I wouldn't expect too much from it. Hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer~I do not own Harvest Moon

Chapter 7: In the Valley of Darkness

I stumbled home, barely noticing where I was going. Nori's bachelorette party had passed in a flurry of laughter, but I had faked mine. It was past midnight now, and I had refused the offer to stay at her place for the night. As I tripped over a rock, I swore under my breath.

"Lillian!" I heard someone call from behind me. Whipping around, I was ashamed for someone to find me in this kind of condition. I plastered a smile on my face:

"Yes, Kana?"

"Why aren't you staying at Nori's?" he asked, clearly confused, "And what's with that freakish smile?"

I sighed, letting my façade go, "I'm tired and I still have to tend to my farm tomorrow," I lied.

He looked at me quizzically, "Well, goodnight then." And he turned to walk away.

I let out my breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I quietly crept home, careful not to wake anyone else up. Once I arrived in my house, I slammed the door shut and let myself crumble. Tears poured out of my eyes, I was finally letting today's events sink in. I felt that hole in my heart, the one that was healing; have its wound opened once more.

I couldn't stand it right now. Crawling under my bed and stretching my arm out to the farthest corner, I grasped the thing I was looking for, a pocket knife.

*(~)*

I opened my eyes, thinking myself still in rehab. I realized it, I was at Konohana. Looking down, I saw what I had caused the night before. Blood stains on the ground and the skin on my wrists freshly cut.

Wincing, I threw the knife back under the bed and willed myself up to take a shower. After doing so, I came out of my house, my hair tied up, and ready for work. At around 1:00, I was finished. There was so much time left, but should I even use it? I didn't think so, and retreated into my house until about 7:30, when I decided that I should sleep.

Nightmares haunted me. Nori no longer let Phillip stay around me. Everyone turned against me after finding my true identity. Cam told Laney about me, and she told everyone else. I spoke to Mom. Dad came back.

I woke up at random times during the night, sweat drenching me, and waking up panting. If I had known that Phillip was going to get married, I would never have had come back here. But now it's too late to move out. I kept that pattern of life for about two weeks, up until Spring 20th, when Ash came into my house, telling me that everyone was worried about me. He frowned at my disheveled appearance, looking like she wanted to know what had been going on but didn't want to ask.

He had left after a while, as I had not replied to a word that he said. Only after that had I realized that had been his birthday. I cried myself to sleep, knowing that there were still people out there who cared, but I wasn't ready to face them, not yet.

My farm slowly prospered, giving me a profit little-by-little. I barely ate though, it gave me more time to myself and not to face those out there, and so I fed myself meager portions day-by-day.

It came to the day when I ran out of food to eat, Summer 10th, so I had to go out. Face the reality of life. I dressed myself, only to find my clothes were really baggy. I drew up the courage to look in the mirror, the one I had kept hidden away, and found myself…Well, to put it simply, I was past looking anorexic.

You could partially see my ribs underneath my skin and bags hung under my eyes. I had aged about 40(?) years in the past weeks. I sighed, deciding to clean myself up best I could before heading out. I didn't look much better, but it was something of an improvement.

The second I got outside of the farm, I was greeted by worried faces, as well as relieved ones. They didn't try saying 'hi' or smiling brightly as they used to. At that point, it was enough. I plastered on a smile, maybe a bit overdone, and dragged myself to Yun's place, catching the glances I got from the villagers.

When I arrived at Yun's, she hurried over, looking like she wanted to say something, but instead, after taking my order, hurried back into her kitchen. Ying came out then, looking at me curiously. "What happened to you, Lillian?" she asked innocently.

I looked at her for a while, "I'll tell you when you grow up," I whispered.

"Hmph! No fair! Why does everybody say thaaattt?" she whined, and left me.

Ying brought out my order in 5 minutes, and after gulfing it down, I bought some ingredients, left the pay, and went back to my farm. I hadn't been ready at that time, right? I'll stay here for a while longer. I still need time.

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