Chapter 3 : TrulyMadlyDeeply

If you put two people that are madly in love that haven't seen each other in six months, in a car you're just asking for trouble if you ask me. The sexual chemistry between Drake and I was so strong that we didn't even make it to the next town before I had to pull over. To say that we had sex in that car would be incorrect. We made love and it was special. Perhaps I'm an idiot for believing that Drake truly meant that he loved me, but I loved him- truly madly deeply.

After we made love I started driving to Anaheim again.

"Darling, do you have a nice outfit to wear like to a fancy restaurant?" I asked, still glowing.

"Yes I sure do. I had to play a wedding a while ago and needed one so I begged Audrey and Walter for money. They ponied up the dough and I bought me a suit." I couldn't help but laugh a little. Sometimes he was so irresistibly funny and charming.

"Josh said that we can go to a nice dinner tonight. He's even coming." I glanced over at Drake to see his reaction. Drake didn't like having to be only my friend and go behind Josh's back, but what he really didn't like was sharing me. Even though he didn't show it I knew he was very jealous and longed to show me that he loved me in public.

"So I've gotta play nice with Josh? I hate sharing you. Sometimes I just wish we could come out with it and tell him and get it over with. I mean for God's sake its been eleven years!" Drake pinched the bridge in his nose and closed his eyes like he had a bad headache.

"I know exactly how you feel. I live with him and the secret is terrible. I swear one of these days I'm just going to slip and he's going to find out…"

" YOU CANNOT JUST LET IT SLIP! Holly, he can't find out! You know what would happen with that- he'd be crushed. He thinks you're his true love and I-I'm his beloved brother. The Drake to his Josh, the two names pretty much have a fucking legacy behind them. Whatever we do Holly, we can NOT tell him." I gulped literally in fear. I knew that Drake's words were exactly correct and shuttered at the thought of Josh finding out. But Josh would eventually get over me and find his TRUE love, right? But I figured that it was best to keep with the plan.

I think we were both in deep thought for the rest of the ride to Anaheim because neither one of us said a word. When we drove up to my driveway, I sighed.

"I love you too much, Drake." I looked at Drake's face and I could see that he was in character, the Drake Parker nothing can phase me character.

"I love you too, Holly." I got out of the car and walked into the house. No Josh, but a note on the table (as was his custom) it read : Emergency at work- had to help. Love you very much, Josh. PS: Tell Drake I said hello and can't wait for dinner. LOVE YA BABE xoxo

"Are you serious? He sends you these kinds of things? Icky. So anyway before I throw up, where am I sleeping?" The seductiveness of his smile lured me in. Before I knew what was happening, we ended up making love on the living room floor. When he and I were putting on our clothes, something hit me. A realization that I never thought of until then. Normally I wouldn't have had sex with him without a condom! But to risk it twice in the same day, what was I thinking?

"As much as I love making love to you we really shouldn't. At least not when you don't wear a condom. Could you imagine if I got pregnant?! We can't risk it." My head was spinning and I felt like I was going to faint. I sat down on the couch slowly.

"You won't get pregnant, Holly. If you did we'd take care of it though. You know, you'd get an abortion and then…."

"I wouldn't get an abortion, Drake! You've got to understand that right now! A baby would be a curse right now but I just couldn't do that! I think abortions are okay for people that can do that but not for me! How could you kill your own child?" Drake knelt on one knee before me as I sat on the couch.

"So instead you would go through with the pregnancy and break Josh's heart? But lets not fight about this. It's not like its actually going to happen. We don't have to worry about it, next time I'll wear a condom and it'll be fine." In my head I prayed that Drake's word would come true, but in the pit of my stomach I sensed trouble brewing.

When Josh came home later on that night I was all ready to go out to dinner. I was wearing a black evening gown with no sleeves and a black shawl around me. I had my hair done up in a 50's beehive and I made myself have cat eyes. When Josh walked in the door and saw me, he walked over to me and kissed me like there was no tomorrow.

I'm sorry, you just look so beautiful" Drake stood in the kitchen/living room doorway cringing and tensing up at the sight of Josh kissing me.

"Hey JoshieKazam!" Exclaimed Drake probably trying to avoid Josh kissing me again. Josh smiled a warm, wide smile and it was like all the months of his 'depression' were forgotten.

"Drake! I didn't even see you there! Doesn't Holly look absolutely b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l?" Josh asked the question playfully, but Drake's reply was cold and short.

"Yes" Josh poked Drake in the side playfully.

" Hey you better not be messing around with my woman! I've got to go get dressed for dinner. You two wait down here, okay?"

"Why do you always have to get all dressed up and look even more gorgeous for Josh than me?" Drake whispered in my ear. I giggled a little bit and turned to look full force into his beautiful eyes.

" Because my darling, he IS technically my husband." Josh walked down the stairs looking handsome in his own right though not as gorgeous as Drake.

"Honey, your tie isn't on right." I fixed Josh's tie and I felt the tension in the room sky-rocket as Josh felt my waist.

"Still a toothpick. We should change that. I've always wanted kids you know." I closed my eyes and swallowed hard as he said that. Damn it. I racked my brain for any excuse.

" Well I know that of course. But I just got signed to Ford Models and well the whole point of being a model is to be as you say it- a toothpick. Besides we never would have time for a baby you know with your conflicting work schedule." I stood in front of Josh and watched him grin very widely. I hoped silently that my excuse wasn't easily transparent. Drake mumbled something like "yeah,right" and walked over to the window probably hoping that ADD would kick in.

" Well when your contract with Ford Models expires I'll slow down with my work and we'll make room for baby, toothpick." Josh kissed my lips while Drake stormed out to the car, slamming the door behind him.

"What the hell is his problem?" Josh asked after he was finished sucking my soul. I smiled a bit sadly and added in a nervous chuckle.

"He's very hungry and probably wants you to stop kissing me so he can eat at a nice restaurant." I kissed Josh's cheek and motioned toward the door. I walked out to Josh's car and sat in the front passenger's seat. Drake sat in the back, staring out the window opposite the house.

"Drake you have to play along better. You know the rules. He's already suspicious." I said as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Drake's face was in the visor mirror and I saw tears in his eyes- not tears of sadness but tears of anger.

"Yeah whatever." When Josh climbed into the driver's seat, Drake's head automatically turned out the window.

"So how is life, Drake?" Poor Josh asked in a cheery voice. Drake turned to look at Josh resentfully.

" Not as good as yours, I see. I wish I could have what you do." Drake answered coldly. Josh chuckled taking all of this in good humor.

"Material possessions are not everything, Drake. You should settle down- get a girl like Holly and marry her." I sighed.

"Josh, Drake should live his life how he wants to. Besides, a girl like me would probably break his heart- or the other way around."

We arrived at the restaurant and I took both Josh and Drake's hands . We walked in like that- my guys and I. The waitress seated us at a nice table by the window and I sat down so that I could sit across from the men. I studied both faces and saw the same thing. Both looked at me like they were pleading, "Look at me- not him!" I wasn't quite sure but I think Josh could tell Drake had a 'thing' for me.

"I'm the luckiest girl in the world right now. I get to be seated at this fabulous restaurant with the two most beautiful men here." Half true- I wanted to say. Drake raised his eyebrows and bulged out his eyes. He shifted his eyes toward Josh and then looked at me again and shook his head no. I giggled and oblivious Josh stared at the menu. The dinner at the restaurant wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Drake and I got so wasted on wine and other alcoholic drinks that I don't even remember the drive home.

The very next thing I remember after that was waking up at 5:33 a.m. alone in my bedroom. I scanned the room for the usual occupant- Josh but he was nowhere to be found. In his absence was his 'excuse'.

Holly, I had to work early this morning. I won't be home for dinner - I'll be home very late- don't wait up. Josh. PS: listen to this cd I made you.

I found the cd and put it in my laptop. He was obviously trying to kill me because the song that started to play was 'Truly Madly Deeply' by Savage Garden. That song was "our song". I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I don't know if it was because of guilt or that I was ill, but I didn't feel like I had a cold…