I stood up, knowing now that if I continued to sit where I was, they'd still look at me as weak. And with Soul Society getting involved, I couldn't have that. I wasn't sure what to say to either one of them, they were both watching me. I just didn't want them to think I was really that weak. I knew if I wanted to make them see differently, I'd have to cooperate from now on.
"So what now?" I asked my voice flat.
Ichigo looked over at Urahara. "Maybe we should be done for the day."
So he didn't want to do anything else. Because he thought I was weak? Probably. I could feel my anger surging up inside of me but I managed to keep my face blank. I wasn't going to say anything. I could tell that both of them weren't sure if they wanted to do anything or to just put me back in my body or something.
Urahara sighed and rubbed his forehead. "We'll figure this out…"
I assumed he also meant for me to get back in my body. So that's what I did. And then I just sat there. What else was I supposed to do? They didn't want to do anything with me today after I refused to cooperate.
"Are we just going to keep her down here again?" Ichigo asked.
"What else can we do? That's the only way to make sure she doesn't get attacked again." Urahara's voice was hard to hear-he was already most of the way up the ladder. I hadn't noticed him go over to the ladder but that didn't matter.
I looked over in his direction. "What am I supposed to do all day?"
"Figure it out."
I scowled at him and stood up, brushing my pants off. "You can't make me stay down here."
"Just watch me." I heard the trap door slam shut and heard a locking noise. I glared up for several seconds. I didn't say anything to Ichigo. I was too pissed off to even remember that he was standing there.
"If it helps—he just trapped me down here too." He finally said.
"Oh what does it matter?" I said harshly. "It's as good as being alone in the mood I'm in."
He didn't answer. Did I offend him? I didn't really care at this point. I wanted out to get fresh air—to just get out of this place period end. I didn't want to be trapped down here—it didn't matter if Ichigo was with me I was still stuck.
I heard him take a few steps back and then a huff as he sat down. I didn't sit or turn around. I could feel the rage on my face and the tears rolling down my face as well. I had a bad tendency of crying when I got upset like this. No way was Ichigo was going to see that. And I didn't know him all that well—so it'd be awkward. I crossed my arms and continued to stand there. I wasn't sure how long I would stay standing—it didn't matter. I didn't want to be stuck down here so I didn't want to get comfortable.
Ichigo didn't even attempt to start a conversation. Good. I wasn't in the mood. Even if he did, I'd probably end up either screaming or punching him. My violent tendencies weren't something I was proud of.
I didn't really keep track of how long I was standing, but there was an ache in my feet from standing for a long period of time. So I finally just went ahead and sat down. I still didn't turn around. I didn't say anything either, I only perked up when I heard the click of the door unlocking and being thrown open.
"Ichigo!" Urahara shouted. "Come up here!"
I heard him get up with a sigh and walk towards the ladder. He turned back to look at me but didn't say anything he just climbed the ladder. The minute I heard the door close and lock I crawled back onto the sleeping pad, curled up into a ball and cried.
I wanted everything to go back to the way it was in that instant. I didn't want to know what Hollows were, or about Soul Society. I didn't even want to be a Soul Reaper. Especially if they decide it's illegal what Urahara did. I wanted my family back. I wished I never transferred schools because if I hadn't I wouldn't be in the mess I'm in now.
But I had to look at the other side as well. If I hadn't done that—I could be dead right now. I wouldn't still be alive. I would've been eaten by one of those—I shuddered—things.
I lied there curled up in a ball for hours. I didn't eat dinner when they brought it down. But even when I tried to, I felt like I was going to throw up. And several times Ichigo tried talking to me but I tuned him out so his voice was just like a low buzz in my ears. He gave up and went upstairs and didn't come back down anymore after that.
They would've probably seen me as weaker after all of this—but I was sick. I was sick of being here—but thinking off everything else made it worse. That night, I threw up three or four times. But after a while I fell asleep.