The Romance of Haruhi Suzumiya
Chapter 1
It all started about two weeks ago after classes let out for the day.
It was Friday and we were all setting around in the clubroom waiting for our glorious leader to come bursting though the door at anytime so we could
all go home for the weekend,or face the death penilty if we left early,which besides it's name,it never involved death.
Nagato was in her usual seat by the corner well into reading another classic novel.
Miss Asahina was in her cute maid outfit rushing to prepare the tea before Haruhi arrived...And me?.
I was in my usual place at the table having my usual chess game with Koizumi as I looked away after every move to avoid his annoying smile.God I hated that smile
I've seen Koizumi look better since I've known him.
Haruhi's emotions have been on edge all week thinking of ideas that the Brigade could do in the schools annual culture and arts festival that was coming up,which in turn making closed spaces pop up all over the city.
But whatever the project that Haruhi decided they were going to do couldn't be any worse than last years movie.So I thought
It was my turn and I was about to move my queen just when the clubroom door opened and in stormed Haruhi,slaming the door behind her and making Miss Asahina almost drop the tea platter.So Cute!
"I'VE GOT IT!"shouted Haruhi as she took her usual seat at her desk at the head of the room."Ive got an idea for the Arts festival that will put the S.O.S Brigade on the map for sure!"
Here it comes I said to myself,rolling my eyes."What are we doing this time Haruhi?"Wait!...Did I just ask that?,cause I really don't want to know the answer
"What does the S.O.S Brigade have that no other club in the school has?!"
Well the answer to that is simple..a crazy club leader"Just save us the trouble of guessing and inlighten us Haruhi"God..why am I responding to her...It's like I'm programed too..That's it!..besides Haruhi's other powers,she can also brainwash people
"Sexy members silly!"
I'm sure you're asking yourself what does having sexy club members have to do with a club that investigates and seeks out the paranormal etc..etc?Well Haruhi likes..well love is a better word for it,to exploit her club members into situlations that benefits the S.O.S Brigade.
It usually involves Miss Asahina dressing up in a sexy costume that shows off her...well you get the idea Mmmm...Miss Asahina Oh..Sorry where was I?..Miss Asahina..right.
Haruhi's scemes usually involves using Miss Asahina to draw attention to the club..what single guy wouldn't hang around to listen to Haruhi as long as they can stare at Miss Asahina right?
"So I'm please to announce that this year the S.O.S Brigade will be hosting the schools first KISSING BOOTH!"
You know what I said about nothing being worst than last years movie?..Well I stand corrected.
"And it won't just be simple kissing either!..We're talking mouth on mouth,tounge on tounge kissing staring Mikuru!"
If you're thinking that I'm going to stand up from my seat and demand that Haruhi forget this crazy idea..normally you would be right but as I've learnt from experinence that never works..just gets me in trouble with our Brigade leader,and I have to admit..I would be the first in line to be able to steal a kiss from Miss Asahina.
"Excellent idea Miss Suzumiya" Koizumi you bastard "That will work drawing in the male members,but what about the girls?"
"YOU'RE RIGHT!..Luckly we have a sexy male member too
"Just hold on a second"I yelled,standing up from the table."If you think I'm going to kiss countless of girls in a day you're crazy!"
"I wasn't talking about you Kyon!...I was meaning Koizumi!" Just hold up..did I just get insulted by Haruhi?..my curiosity makes me want to ask
"What's wrong...I'm not sexy enough for you?"
"You're not kissing because I say your not!..Don't argue with your leader!..besides,I need you and Yuki to hand out these flyers"
And just like that,Haruhi passed around a flyer to each club member with the S.O.S Brigade logo on it that apperently,she drew and wrote herself.I would be telling the truth that I was expecting worse from Haruhi.
The flyer was just a regular request to all school students to join the S.O.S Brigade,no demands,no tricks,nothing of the sort.
"You're dismissed early today Kyon!...I need you to start copying these...We're sure to pick up all kinds of new members so we need at least a thousand by tomorrow!" You know...I'm not going to even bother arguing
"And Koizumi!...You're dismissed early too!..I need you to go over to the art club and ask to borrow some paper and paint so Kyon can make a huge banner!..That will sure draw attention to us!" Usually Haruhi asking another school student for something usually involves her demanding or blackmailing until she gets what she wants...but asking?...I didn't think she knew the word
"And what about you...What are you going to do during this whole kissing booth thing?..Are you going to pull your weight and kiss some boys too?"\
"NO!...BECAUSE I"M THE CLUB LEADER YOU IDIOT!" I had to ask "Now that's settled!..I have something for Mikuru!"
And without waiting for any objection from Miss Asahina,Haruhi reached into her bag and pulled out a stick of ruby red lipstick and tried to hold her down as she applied it.
"Stop squirming girl!...You want to look your best don't you!" Yep...Another typical day at the S.O.S Brigade
Trying not to get worked up with Haruhi holding Miss Asahina down and turning her beautiful lips red,I took a sip of tea and moved another game piece.
Only one thing could make me quickly rush out of the room and that was coming up next.
"I'VE GOT ANOTHER IDEA!...MIKURU'S RED BUNNY GIRL OUTFIT WILL MATCH THE LIPSTICK PERFECTLY!..We just need to see if it still fits!...You better not have gained weight over the Summer Mikuru!"
And just like that,I bolted from the room,slamming the door shut behind me.I leaned up against the wall in the hallway,catching my breath and trying to forget the thoughts I was having about Miss Asahina stripping down just beyond the wall my back was against.
The door to the clubroom opened again as Koizumi joined me in the hall.
"A kissing booth"Koizumi said as he leaned up against the wall beside me"What will Miss Suzumiya think of next"
"Why do you have to agree with her everytime?"
"I agree with Miss Suzumiya because it keeps her happy..I don't know about you but I don't care much about having to chase closed spaces around the city all night while Miss Suzumiya sleeps and creates them"
"Well we're all going to be in expelled when the school sees what we're doing"
"Well if it does come to that...I think Miss Suzumiya will take the fall for everything"
"What makes you so sure?"
"I don't know...I just have that feeling I know,you know?" Here he goes again
"Well I'd love to stay and chat but I better get these copied for Haruhi"
"Mind if I walk with you?...The copy room is on the way to the Art Club"
"Be by guest"
"Forgive me if I'm wrong..But it seems something's troubling you" He notices everything doesn't he
"Being around Haruhi...When is there something not?"
"Could it be you're upset that Miss Suzumiya didn't pick you for the kissing booth?" I wonder if Koizumi knows how annoying he is
"I would of turned Haruhi down in a heartbeat if she did ask me...I'm just wondering why she didn't ask me"
"Ahh, I see...Well I think I can explain that" Of course you can Koizumi..You have an answer for everything "I think Miss Suzumiya didn't pick you because I don't think she want's you kissing any other girls"
"Gee..you think?" Like it really matters
"I do..Just like Miss Suzumiya answered your question about her kissing some of the boys...I think she doesn't want you seeing her kiss either"
"I fail to see your point on what that has to do with anything"
"Think about it...Are you still wondering why you're mixed up in all of this to begin with?...I think Miss Suzumiya has had a crush on you from the start...she just hasn't wanted to admit it" Maybe I haven't wanted to admit my feelings either
"I don't see being verbly abused a sign of her having a crush on me"
"Well,thats just Miss Suzumiya's way of course...Deep down she doesn't mean any of it"
"If it's true what you're telling me...why hasn't she said something?"
"Maybe she's waiting on you to make the first move...Then again,maybe you've been wraped up in everything else you have missed what she has done...Like the time when you fell down the steps at school,she stayed at the hostpital everyday watching over you,even when there was another club member there"She did look cute sleeping beside the bed in that sleeping bag
"If this is all true,what do you expect me to do about it?"
"Well,like I just said...maybe she's waiting on you to make the first move..so talking to her about this might help"What does Koizumi think's going to happen?..Me burst into the club room,confess my love to Haruhi,kiss her and live happily ever after?..Well first off if I did kiss her without any warning,I think I would end back up in the hostpital
"You're saying all this like I have feelings for Haruhi in return" Call me crazy but...Maybe I do..I don't consider that much of a bad thing anymore
"Then by all means,please correct me if I'm wrong" Dammit Koizumi..we both know I'm going to stay quiet "Ahhh..Just what I thought"
"I could talk to her some..Maybe ask her out for lunch"
"That's the spirit!...With it being Friday..she usually hangs around in the club room a little longer to plan the weekends activities"At least everyone will likely be gone so no one will see her slug me
After bidding farwell to Koizumi for the day infront of the copy room,I found myself infront of the copier,making Haruhi's copys for her recuitment flyer.I recall her saying she wanted at least a thousand,but a hundred will have to do...I'll be standing here forever otherwise.
After making the walk back to the club room,I took my usual precaution to knock on the door to save myself the trouble of embrassessing poor Miss Asahina.
"Come in!"But it wasn't Miss Asahina's cute shy voice,it was Haruhi's.I entered,seeing Haruhi alone,sitting infront of the computer,not looking very happy.
"What is it Kyon?...Wait...Didn't I dismiss you early?..Are you breaking your leaders orders?"
"I just thought you would want to see the copys of the flyer before I headed home"
"Let me see!"And before I could blink,Haruhi was on the other side of the room jerking the flyers out of my hand and looking them over.
"I asked for a thousand!...There's only about fifty here you idiot!" Actually it's more like a hundred
"The copier ran out of ink. I lied "What was I suppose to do?"
"You were suppose to get them to change it and bust some heads till they do!"
"Well maybe that's how you like to handle it but but I prefer a more peaceful approach"
"Whatever...I'll take care of it on Monday"
As I stood there staring at Haruhi,her arms crossed and her nose up in there air,putting everything else aside,she is kind of cute when she gets like this.
"So,what is the club doing this weekend?"I asked,trying to force a smile upon my face,to make it look like I was interested.
"Like it really matters now...It's suppose to rain tomorrow...Some Saturday..."
I was about to bid Haruhi a good weekend and walk out the door but as I was turning the knob,Koizumis advice came into my mind again.I took a deep breath and prepared myself from what ever physical abuse Haruhi was about to leash upon me.
"So,if you're not doing anything tomorrow...would you like to have lunch with me?" I said it..I said it..I asked Haruhi out
"I don't know...Are you buying?" When don't I?
"Of course I'm buying...I asked you didn't I?"
"Meet me at the station at noon then!...And don't be late or it's the death penilty!"And with that Haruhi exited the room,slamming the door behind her and leaving me standing there.
"I guess I'll lock up then"