Dark Desire

Roxy and Deborah couldn't shut up during dinner. Rodolphus had a slight headache and wished for some quiet but he forced himself to remain at the table until the girls had finished eating.

"Are you sad 'cause Mum's not here, Dad?" Roxy asked.

"Why should I be? She'll be back tomorrow," Rodolphus answered. She was right of course. He didn't like sitting on the table with Bellatrix being absent, knowing that she was with the Dark Lord.

Inviting the Longbottoms to stay for dinner had been tempting but he knew that they wouldn't have been comfortable at all. Alice was far thinner than she should be as it was; he didn't want to make her sit here with him maybe unable to eat anything. She had done something about her looks and almost regained her old beauty but it was clear that she wasn't eating enough. She had stated rather openly that she was longing for death, something he needed to discuss with Neville somehow though he didn't know how. "A guest who should have left long ago" she had called herself. He had hoped she would find her peace with Neville being the happy father of a family doing the work he loved and able to help her but it hadn't happened. There was no scurrying around the fact, what he had done couldn't be undone, no matter which brilliant kinds of healing potions and spells he and Neville might apply. Maybe he should have tried to tell her how he felt but he didn't know how to put it into words she'd actually believe. He needed to prove it by his actions if possible.

Rodolphus was glad that the children were able to keep themselves busy without his help after dinner. Roxy showed Deborah all the rooms in the house where she was allowed to go. Rodolphus hoped that she'd heed his advice to stay away from the rest. Everything dangerous had extra protections anyway.

He retired to his room and picked up the "Great Book of Healing Herbs." His mother had given him this book for his seventeenth birthday and it had often served as light reading when Rodolphus required something like that. The book was very good and Rodolphus had found quite a few clues in there that had sparked new discoveries. He considered it unlikely that he'd be that successful again tonight though.

The day's events had left him tired and the headache didn't want to improve either which made him go to bed early. He decided against using a headache potion because he didn't want to start depending on this sort of thing. Going on your strength of mind alone was always favourable.

He went through all the things he could possibly do to help Alice without attracting attention but he couldn't think of anything. She used to be so strong, so quick to recover from all the bad she saw and endured. There had been a time when the thought that he had been the one to destroy this in an enemy of his would have given him a sense of accomplishment but these days were over. He knew that it was wrong and nothing beyond that.

Sleep simply didn't want to come and neither did any new insight.

And Bellatrix was with the Dark Lord and they were doing who-knew-what right now while Rodolphus tried to sleep unsuccessfully.

After more than two hours of this, Rodolphus decided he had had enough. He obviously wasn't able to make it to sleep on his own; a sleeping potion was in order. He went quietly down to their house apothecary in the cellar and fetched the right potion. It wasn't one of the strongest sleeping potions but a basic one already brewed by young students and relatively safe. It had to do for tonight. This wasn't a situation that required anything stronger.

When Rodolphus made his way upstairs again, he stopped in his track. He wasn't the only one wandering through the nightly house. Little Deborah Longbottom was out of bed as well, walking straight down towards the dungeons wearing nothing but her nightgown. Her arms were outstretched and she quietly muttered something to herself. Rodolphus could barely understand the words she kept repeating. "There's a trace of blood and fear."

Neville had never mentioned that his daughter was sleepwalking. It would have been sensible to tell him before Deborah came to stay for the night but the Longbottoms only telling him as much as absolutely necessary was nothing new. Maybe she only did it in an unknown house and Neville didn't know about it at all.

Rodolphus focused on the part of the stone floor she was looking at. When he did that, he was also able to sense a faint shadow of blood spilled by dark magic many years ago and the traces of fear left by various terrified prisoners who had been dragged down to the dungeons by some of his forefathers or mothers.

Deborah could obviously sense this without any training. High magic sensitivity, it happened and there were occurrences in both the Fawley and Abbott family. People with this gift could make fine Healers if they learned to control it but Rodolphus knew of a fellow trainee who had been forced to quit because she couldn't endure the work. Well, Neville probably wasn't one of those people who would force their children to follow into their professional footsteps. At least, he'd know now that his child wasn't a Squib. Her magic only showed itself in a very unusual way as Rodolphus had expected.

Sleep-walking happened in Saint Mungo's sometimes and there was a spell that would wake someone who did it without frightening them too much. Rodolphus cast it and Deborah seemed very startled in spite of the spell's effects.

"Where am I?" she muttered.

"You're on the stairs down to our cellar. You've been sleep-walking," Rodolphus told her. "Come on, I'll show you the way back to your room."

Deborah followed him, her face deadly pale. She was shaking slightly. Rodolphus wasn't sure if she was scared of him or of the entire situation. Maybe both.

"I'll tell the House Elves to watch over your door now," he said. "Don't be startled when you see one of them."

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to cause trouble," she said faintly.

"I know that. You haven't done this in purpose," Rodolphus said kindly. "Don't worry about it. Try to sleep again."

Rodolphus left her and ordered the House Elves to take turns watching at her door so she didn't leave the room again. He was glad that he had left his bed now. The back cellar was dangerous and he didn't know how many protective spells she might be able to pass with her uncontrolled magic. The stairs alone could prove dangerous.

When Rodolphus returned to his room, he had completely forgotten about the sleeping potion he had meant to take. He needed to tell Neville about Deborah as soon as possible. Rodolphus also wondered if he should talk to the girl herself about her magic or if it was better if her parents did this. By day, she didn't seem particularly shy around him; maybe it would be worth a try. Normally, he was quite good at this kind of thing. Well, as long as he didn't have to tell his son that the reason why the woman he was going to visit didn't like to spend time in his company was that he had tortured her badly enough to cause a prolonged stay at the hospital. This hadn't gone well at all for obvious reasons.

He hoped that Roderic was sleeping soundly now and that he and Alice were getting along somehow. Rodolphus had already told him a few days ago that he could call them anytime when he wanted to leave and that they wouldn't be annoyed if he did so. Rodolphus hoped that Roderic would do this if necessary rather than trying to play the big boy.

Deborah too must be suffering from what he and Bellatrix had done to Alice, with her unusual magic, she'd certainly pick up that something was wrong even if she didn't know what it was. The third generation of Longbottoms affected. He had never thought about these consequences back during the First War though they surely weren't the only ones who had suffered them.

Unsurprisingly, Rodolphus didn't feel very well-rested the next morning. Deborah was back to her cheerful self at breakfast and didn't seem to remember the night's incident. Roxy noticed her mother's continued absence though. "Where's Mum? Doesn't she come home at all?"

"I'm sure she'll come back soon," Rodolphus said.

"She has promised to teach Debbie to fly," Roxy said.

"It's alright," Deborah said. "I'd rather look at the rest of the house. We haven't been in the cellar yet."

Rodolphus sighed. "You aren't supposed to go into the back cellar. There are dangerous potions and ingredients there."

And rooms for dark magic rituals, dungeons and torture chambers, Rodolphus added in his mind but he didn't want either child to know about that. "The kitchen cellar is full of food so nothing interesting to see either."

"There are secret passageways in the house as well," Roxy said eagerly. "Let's check them out."

Rodolphus liked this idea much better. The passageways were safe. He hoped that Bellatrix did return and keep to her promise. A bit of exercise outside would be good for the children and it wasn't overly hot either. The weather had changed overnight and it was cool and cloudy now.

Rodolphus' left forearm burned. He gazed at the ceiling in exasperation. He had been looking forward to a quiet weekend and now the Dark Lord was calling a meeting. Spontaneous meetings had been a common occurrence during the war but they had become quite rare recently which had been rather convenient for Rodolphus.

"I'm sorry girls; I have to go to the Dark Lord. He wants to hold a meeting. I hope it doesn't take too long. The House Elves will be there if you need something."

"So the Dark Lord simply calls meetings when he feels like it?" Deborah asked.

"Yes, sometimes," Rodolphus said.

The children insisted on accompanying him to the door though Deborah looked slightly frightened when he had put on his Death Eater robes.

"Why are you wearing a hood?" she asked. "Everyone knows you're a Death Eater, don't they?"

"Yes. It's simply because of tradition I think," Rodolphus told her. At least they could go without masks now. "I hope we'll both be back for lunch. Don't get up to any nonsense while I'm away."

"We would never do that, Dad," Roxy said with a mischievous smile that reminded Rodolphus of her mother back at Hogwarts. It didn't make him feel any more inclined to believe her. The House Elves normally did a good job watching the children though. If they managed with Roderic, they would with Debbie as well.

Severus arrived at the sea shore the same time Rodolphus did. They went into one of the boats together and started the journey through the Dementor-infested mists.

"How did your meeting with Alice Longbottom go?" Severus asked curiously. "Anything suspicious?"

No, there was nothing suspicious. Her health condition isn't very good. I'm having her grow a few plants."

"Well, her bad health is hardly surprising," Severus remarked. "There's no need to be a Healer to know that the Dark Lord's treatment at the meeting wasn't beneficial to her well-being."

Rodolphus wasn't foolish enough to give any response that could be interpreted as criticism of the Dark Lord. Severus' black eyes were boring into his own. Rodolphus knew exactly what the other man was trying to do and it did nothing to lessen the headache he had been carrying around all day. Rodolphus could lead Severus' mental assault into nothingness easily but it still made him angry. A friend shouldn't try to use Legilimency hoping to get access to something that could improve his position with the Dark Lord.

The rest of the journey passed in silence. They reached the shores and made their way to the Dark Lord's underground fortress. Rodolphus saw Medea Selwyn, Quentin Travers and Dylan Mulciber as well.

Bellatrix stood at her usual position at the Dark Lord's left. Rodolphus noticed that her clothing and hairstyle still looked exactly the way they had looked when she had left the day before. Either she had undertaken great efforts to make this so or they had really been up all night discussing the cause rather than engaging in other activities. As always in such instances, Rodolphus felt slightly guilty for his suspicions. Maybe there wasn't anything going on after all and he only imagined it.

The circle assembled in the usual way. A few members had to stifle yawns. No one had expected a meeting on Saturday morning.

Silence fell and the Dark Lord began his speech. The things he told the Death Eaters weren't new to Rodolphus. He quickly informed them about the happenings on the continent followed by a more detailed report from the escaped German Death Eater, a man named Alexander Braun. He had obviously trouble speaking English and wasn't very easy to understand. Rodolphus felt his attention drift away. He already knew the gist of the problems anyway.

The Dark Lord wanted revenge for the losses they had suffered and told the three German leaders to make sure it was carried out. They obediently promised they would do so, what else were they supposed to say?

"You will receive aid," the Dark Lord told the Germans. "Quentin Travers you will accompany our German friends to teach the new recruits and discuss strategies with them."

"Yes, Master, it will be a pleasure."

If Travers was scared of the task ahead, he didn't show it. Rodolphus probably would have been in his place. The statistics for the other Death Eaters engaged in abroad activities were abysmal.

"Good, I'm glad that you still know what the duties of a Death Eater are."

His eyes wandered towards Bellatrix who shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Rodolphus was very surprised. He could barely imagine that the thing the Dark Lord was implying could be true. Had she really refused to go to Germany? Normally, she considered everything the Dark Lord asked her to do a pleasure and an honour.

"There's no need to keep any secrets from you," the Dark Lord said. "I've asked Bellatrix here first but she believes that her duties for the Security Department and to her family are more important than the fight in Germany."

These words were greeted by slight unrest in the circle. A few people were whispering to each other. Rodolphus understood why. He wouldn't have expected Bellatrix to voice something like that even though he completely agreed with her. Security had improved immensely after she had taken over the new department; her reputation was enough to discourage many offenders. Losing her would not only affect Rodolphus and his children personally it would also destabilize the regime. Couldn't Voldemort see this? Or maybe he did. Otherwise, he wouldn't have agreed to send Travers instead.

"One might start to wonder if being a mother has weakened her fighting morals," the Dark Lord continued.

Rodolphus' clenched his fist hidden by the wide robes. If Voldemort dared to consider harming Roderic and Roxana, he'd do anything to prevent it. If necessary, he'd even ask Neville to arrange something with the Order. Blood traitors or not, he wanted them to live.

"Do you even want to come to future meetings? Maybe you should consider staying at home like your sister Narcissa does. Leave the real work to those who are prepared to do it."

A few of the others laughed. Rodolphus was slightly relieved. Voldemort only took advantage of the opportunity to humiliate Bellatrix in front of the group as he was so fond of doing. In the past, this would have been enough to inspire extreme anger in him but now, it was still preferable to any plans involving the children. This wasn't anything new at all.

Bellatrix didn't plead or give any confessions of her loyalty. "You know how much I'm doing for you every day, Master," she merely said. "You have no reason to doubt me."

Voldemort's eyes narrowed. Not submissive enough for his taste, Rodolphus thought.

"You will be granted your wish," he said. "But don't fool yourself, I will remember."

"Yes, Master," Bellatrix said, a hint of desperation in her voice. These words made her fear for her position of course.

"Come here," he said.

Bellatrix got up and stepped in front of the Dark Lord's throne, looking up at him in her usual adoring manner. "Down on your knees."

She knelt obediently while Voldemort continued talking. "Loyal Death Eater or not, everyone here does well to remember that I am the one who's giving the orders here. It's not your place to question them. I think you need a little reminder of that."

Rodolphus focused on clearing his mind. This wasn't the first time he watched his wife being punished by Voldemort and he wasn't delusional, it wouldn't be the last time either. He merely hoped it wouldn't be bad enough for the children to notice. Deborah really wasn't supposed to know anything about this,

He was startled when the Dark Lord suddenly spoke his name. "Rodolphus, come here too."

He obeyed, wondering what he might have done wrong. There had been no rebellious thought the Dark Lord might have been able to catch, he was sure of that.

"Sometimes, it is necessary to delegate one's tasks," the Dark Lord said with a slight smile. "You will make sure that she is punished appropriately today."

Rodolphus stared at the empty space between Voldemort and his kneeling wife. He had never asked that before, never in all those years. Rodolphus had actually expected him to do so even back during the First War but so far, he had never done it.

"What are you waiting for?" Voldemort asked. "You don't have forgotten how to use the curse, have you? It's been a long time"

He was right; it had been an extremely long time. Rodolphus had used the Cruciatus curse for the last time during Dark Arts class at Hogwarts. For the last seven years, he hadn't done it a single time. This however wasn't the reason for his hesitation. Some people claimed the Lestranges had no honour but there had always been rules they had followed almost without exception. Never harm members of your own family was one of them. One of the few lines he had never crossed before. Bellatrix trust in him, her willingness to let him take care of her injuries was all they had left. If he did this, they would lose that as well. Rodolphus was sure that this was exactly his intention. He wanted her completely to himself.

It wouldn't be a long way to go. Her eyes were still fixed on him. She completely ignored Rodolphus' presence.

"You are not considering to disobey a direct order, are you Rodolphus?"

The silence in the circle was almost tangible. Rodolphus knew that the Dark Lord didn't tolerate open disobedience. Everyone knew that. If he said no, it might be the last thing he did. He would definitely leave this meeting in a state bad enough to require rest and possibly the attention of a Healer. Rodolphus really disliked the idea of demanding Neville's time for this purpose.

Rodolphus looked at Bellatrix again. He wanted to know if she gave some sort of sign that it was alright as he had done when she or Rabastan had been asked to do the same thing. Bellatrix' sole attention was still on her Master however.

"If you refuse, I'll have to deal with her myself," Voldemort said softly. "Do you really think she will be better off this way?" Bellatrix flinched slightly.

So he wanted to take it out on her if Rodolphus refused? He knew how to use the Cruciatus curse without causing any physical damage of course. Physical damage wasn't what he was worried about. Knowing Bellatrix, being subjected to the curse by the Dark Lord would affect her more. Maybe she'd understand that he had no choice but to obey like he had done when she had used it on him in the past.

He drew his wand and prepared himself. There was no lack of dreams and fantasies where he had cast the Cruciatus curse on Bellatrix though none of them had involved a watching Voldemort. This didn't matter. It would work anyway. Rodolphus was an extremely accomplished user of the curse.

He hoped that she wasn't going to resist much. She probably wouldn't try to fool the Dark Lord and pretend to be under a full curse when she was not.

He pointed his wand at her left hand which rested on the floor beside her. "Crucio."

The muttered incantation was enough to awaken the dark magic; it was always so absurdly easy for him. There was no resistance at all. The curse cut through her defences like a knife through warm butter.

For a short while, Bellatrix remained in her kneeling position, than she allowed herself to lie on the floor, her body writhing under the curse. As always, she tried to keep herself from screaming but she already gasped with pain. For the first time, she made eye contact with him. The look in her dark eyes wasn't pleading or defiant, more challenging. Rodolphus held her gaze. Looking away in such a situation weakened the curse. He wasn't feeling inclined to do so at all. The Cruciatus curse made the victim's complete attention focus on the caster, forgetting about everyone around them even the Dark Lord. This time wasn't any different and Rodolphus couldn't deny that he liked that. He wanted to make her scream, lose control. His magic created a more powerful curse and scream she did. The hair slide holding her long black hair in place gave way and it flew around her face as her body thrashed on the ground. It was an intriguing sight, even slightly arousing. The voice in the back of his head told him that he wasn't supposed to feel like this, that it was wrong but it wasn't very loud at the moment.

Bellatrix gave him this challenging look again. Rodolphus was surprised that she could in this situation.

All of a sudden, there was some resistance. It wasn't overly strong but more than what untrained people were able to give. Focusing the curse to attack her shield, he was able to overcome it easily. Only a little while later, Rodolphus found resistance again. This shouldn't be possible, he thought. If someone's resistance had been broken, they didn't have a chance to resist again. Bellatrix however did and this time, her shields were stronger than they had been last time.

She repeated this five times, always looking at him again in between. As if it was some sort of game to her. Maybe it was.

Rodolphus moved his wand, tracing the nerve pathways he knew led through her body. She reacted directly, moving away almost as if she were dancing.

"That will do," the Dark Lord said.

Rodolphus had completely forgotten about his presence. The truth of the entire situation came slowly drifting back into his head. He lifted the curse and looked at Bellatrix. She was breathless, gasping for air, but she wasn't shivering from an unnatural called as they usually did. Her face wasn't sickly pale either but flushed with heat.

"Your mastery of this curse is intriguing," Voldemort said. "I almost regret that you're not in a position where you're meant to use it on a more regular basis."

Bellatrix got to her feet and picked her hair slide up before putting it into the pocket of her robes.

Rodolphus avoided looking at her. The Dark Lord's words seemed to come from very far away. He sent them back to their seats and the meeting continued. Rodolphus barely listened; it didn't seem to concern him anyway. He felt sick about himself. How could he do this to Bellatrix, his wife, the mother of his children? How could he actually enjoy it? He should have said no but like so many times before, he did the Dark Lord's bidding and ignored the things he wanted to keep true to.

Every time he talked to Neville or more recently Alice, he swore to himself that he wanted to change, that he wanted to overcome this but he still lacked the strength and the courage to disobey the Dark Lord.

And he hadn't only done what he had demanded but far more than that. He still enjoyed causing pain to others, gaining their complete attention, having their body succumb to his spell.

"Meeting's over."

Rodolphus needed Rabastan's reminder to leave with the rest of the group. He and Minona talked about her work at school on the way to the other shore, Rodolphus and Bellatrix both remained silent. If the situation was reversed, she usually told him something along the lines of: "You know I had to do it. The Dark Lord's word is law."

He didn't want to say something similar.

Rabastan and Minona said goodbye and both brothers apparated to their respective homes with their wives. The door opened for them and they walked into the garden.

Bellatrix was the one to break the silence. "You don't really think I'd want you to disobey a direct order from the Dark Lord because I can't endure some pain, do you?"

Rodolphus wasn't sure what to say about that. No, of course not was the easiest solution but it would be a lie. Everything else he might say was too complicated to explain.

She put her arm around him, a gesture of affection very rare for her. "Stop worrying," she said. "I wanted to know what it feels like when you cast the curse for quite a while."

"What do you mean?" He was so startled at this remark that he didn't consider his words very carefully.

"What I said," Bellatrix responded. "Seriously Rodolphus, you are the Cruciatus curse theory expert here. You know it's not dangerous if I know that you would never really want to harm me."

Rodolphus was moved by these words. She said them as if this was self-evident. If only he could be so sure himself. If she knew what had gone through his head, she'd probably feel differently.

"You've started to worry so much again, after Azkaban," she said. "Why do you think you need to feel ashamed because you enjoy it?"

"Well, if you don't mind, I probably don't need to," Rodolphus said still struggling to comprehend what she was telling him. He had never believed it possible.

"You're right. You began to understand this before Azkaban but ever since, you're treating me as if you were afraid I'd break at every chance. Yes, I was ill for a while but that's long over."

Rodolphus couldn't deny she had a point. Her mental health had seemed so fragile in the months of the Second War and he was never quite certain that she had overcome this completely.

"Don't get me wrong. I appreciate that you care for me. And I did notice that you only used the curse on me because the Dark Lord threatened he'd do worse. There's no need to be so worried. I thought you'd notice that you weren't harming my magic at all. I could never have resisted multiple times if you had."

"So that's why you did this?" Rodolphus asked.

"Yes. And because it was fun."

The fact that his wife's idea of fun differed from that of most other people considerably was nothing new to Rodolphus.

"You've enjoyed and so did I. There's no problem. Only for the Dark Lord maybe because he wanted me to be punished but he decided it that way so-"

Rodolphus couldn't help wondering if someone had put something into her food. Since when did she talk about things that displeased the Dark Lord so nonchalantly? Something about the things he had said last night must have been really disappointing.

"He's right though, you are talented. It's not surprising that things don't end well for people who seriously try to resist your curse."

"Well, thank you," Rodolphus said.

"I hope you believe I'm fine now," Bellatrix said. "If you don't, you'll have to come to the bedroom with me and examine me."

She gave him a suggestive smile.

When they walked through the door, they were greeted by Roxy and Deborah behind her. She looked quite intimidated by their black robes.

Roxy was her usual vivacious self. "Morning Mum. Do you practice Quidditch with us now? You promised."

Bellatrix sighed. "Alright. I just need to change."

They went into the dressing room to get rid of their Death Eater robes.

"Can't we send both of them to the Longbottoms for a few days?" Bellatrix asked no one in particular.