9th of December
I'm still on the first floor. I really have to grind quicker, but the fatigue plays a big part and I can't grind endlessly like on a normal MMO. I want to get out of here badly, but I don't want to die. I'm not going to go into that dungeon until I know for sure that I won't die. Yeah, cowardly of me, but that's me and anyone who doesn't like that can go screw themselves.
I found a new dungeon with plenty of monsters and a definite absence of players so I spent time there. It was scary. Really scary. There were large wolves with red eyes and drooling. They were berserk. It was a real good thing they came one at a time. It was much faster than a normal wolf, but its patterns were still the same. Both types growl before they commit to headlong charge, so I can definitely score a few hits as it speeds past.
They did this every time I got far away so I just kept my distance.
The trouble is when they get close up. Then they do quicker strikes and I can't predict them in time. I spent a whole day there, and my level rose to level 14. I had to rest a lot, my arms started aching from blocking wolves and swinging a sword. The simulation is really good. These people can say what they want about Akihiko but he is a genius. To be able to program something as realistic as muscle fatigue. I'm seeing the use of the vitality potions now. I brought a couple wondering what they'd do, and they made me more alert, and the aching in my muscles went away. I guess healing potions don't do the fine tuning, only huge gashes. I'm not getting much money with the way I'm buying health and vitality potions, but I'm probably among the highest leveled people in the game.
Not to say I'm one of the best players, my reactions are way too slow for that, and I tend to close my eyes instinctively when anything gets up close (another reason to keep my distance) but I'm not exactly a weakling, and I'm not dependent on anyone else. And that's what matters.
I spent another day down there hunting through the wolves, and I could do it pretty easily. Then I went to the next floor and encountered these golden skinned boars with huge gorillas. That was really scary. I'd never heard something so primal in my life, but the war cries of the gorillas chilled my blood and I just froze. It scored a good punch in my ribs and I went flying into the wall. Luckily, it was the wall with the stairs that I came through and I stumbled up as fast as I could. I rested for a bit, then went back down. Immediately the gorilla came charging at me yelling, and again I froze. I backed away and ran back up the stairs. After that, I stuck to the first floor with the abnormal wolves.
I don't like to lie to myself. I don't like being delusional. What I did wasn't what your knight in shining armour would do. He'd go charging ahead with his heroic team and forge his way up, getting a love interest as he did so. But that wasn't me. I'm not a hero. I'm a coward with the desire to hold on to what I might lose. And the day I lose my cowardice is the day I know I am lost in this world of monsters.