Chapter 13

Mary rolled Matthew back into the convalescent hospital. Matthew was silent, seeming to, in a way, be at peace. Mary wished she had thought of taking him to see William sooner than it had taken for him to ask her to. It had obviously brought him comfort, and he genuinely seemed happier.

Mary pushed him into his room. With the help of another nurse, Mary lifted Matthew back into his bed, gently helping him lower his back down onto the bed. Matthew was completely exhausted. The poor thing, she thought as she lay him down. He had spent more time out of bed that day than he previously had even been awake.

For that reason, she thought he was already asleep as she pulled the blankets up around him. "Mary…" he mumbled.

"Yes?"

"I know it may not be proper to ask you to do so, but would you mind staying with me?"

"Of course," Mary said.

"I do so enjoy your company…" He said groggily, before drifting off.

Mary mused over this as his breaths steadied. "I do so enjoy your company."

She could have been imagining it, but there was something in his voice when he said it. He was just groggy, said a nagging voice in her head. It sounded curiously like Edith. Still, another said, just his asking you to stay was something. It had to be. He must know that you'll stay, that you would gladly sit by his bedside till the end of time if he wished.

Mary's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone gently clearing their throat. She turned. "Nurse O'Malley!" She exclaimed in a tone barely above a whisper. She stood and greeted her. "Is there something you need?"

"Well, Lady Mary," the older woman began, "I couldn't help but notice your attentiveness to Captain Crawley…" Mary blushed, but nodded for the nurse to go on. "I was hoping I could share some information that might help you help him cope with his shell shock." Mary nodded, and motioned that they take a seat in two chairs at the foot of Matthew's bed.

"In almost every case of shell shock I've seen, there's been someone, or something, that can help a man. You seem to be what brings Captain Crawley out of his fits." Mary nodded, her blush deepening. Nurse O'Malley knew.

"Lady Mary, that's nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, you should be proud. Now, listen. By staying by his side, you can help him heal."

Mary was perplexed. "Oh? I thought that shell shock was permanent?"

Nurse O'Malley shook her head. "In my years of experience, I've observed that there seem to be two types of shell shock: The first is the one you hear about most often. Men come back from the front, shells of the men they once were. They are unrecognizable, personality-wise. They are erratic, even dangerous, and never recover." She paused. "Then, there is the second kind. The person has the same fits and nightmares associated with the first, but it is not a constant. The person, as they were before the war, or rather, not shell shocked, is still visible. This type can be treated. Tell me, do you see Captain Crawley as he was before the war in him?"

Mary nodded. "Most of the time."

Nurse O'Malley smiled. "I've noticed that he almost always behaves quite normally in your presence. The few times I've seen him away from you, he slips away."

"Nurse O'Malley, are you implying I am keeping his shell shock at bay?"

"Yes, dear. Not only that, but helping treat it."

Mary paused for a moment, to take it all in. "What can I do to speed the process?"

"Well, for one thing, leave his side as few times as possible. Don't let him go into a fit if you can help it. Let him know he is cared for, loved. Show affection. However, treat them normally - don't tiptoe around them. There's something called 'subconscious therapy', though I do not know how much merit there is in it. It is where one speaks to the afflicted while they sleep…" Nurse O'Malley continued, explaining several other techniques. Mary listened intently.

When Nurse O'Malley finished, she stood, and Mary did the same. She placed her hands warmly around the older woman's hand. "I cannot thank you enough."

"Think nothing of it, dearie. You remind me of myself at your age." Nurse O'Malley looked wistful for a moment, then nodded to Mary and left.

Mary sat down beside Matthew, who was still deeply asleep.

She took a few deep breaths. Matthew was going to be all right. One day, he would be free of the visions that tormented him. He would be happy.

Mary decided to begin his "therapy," as she thought of it. She leaned in close to him, her lips almost touching his ears.

"Matthew. You are here. You are safe. You are loved."

Matthew didn't stir, but Mary wasn't deterred. She continued to speak softly to him.

After a while, she grew tired. Not being able to help herself, she pressed a kiss into Matthew's hairline before gently slouching into sleep.

Little did she know that Matthew was awake and feigning sleep.

He had woken, and heard Mary repeatedly whisper to him, "You are here. You are safe. You are loved."

But not by you, he thought.

He wasn't so sure when he felt a startlingly familiar pressure to his hairline.