A/N: Okay, wow! The reviews on this are so wonderful! Keep them coming, I love reading them!

Regarding the last chapter: while Shayla would have been probably the lead suspect now in this investigation, and the team does not doubt it was her poisoning Tony, they have no proof. He didn't see her poison him, nor did anyone else. So they would not be able to arrest her, but they would certainly investigate her. That and a bit of suspension of disbelief is what I'm going with

Also, I really felt I owed you guys this chapter after the news of Cote leaving. Big hugs all around! And I hope you like this chapter, even though it's not my fave. Next one is though!

Oh yeah, is the shit going to hit the fan. Already smelling a little shitty, so best to just rip the veil off the monster completely, so to speak. Tony's not fooled, so don't think he is.

It was a shame that Tony hadn't been there to see it when McGee got the call from Gibbs. It was said that his voice raised four octaves in a single word when he heard that Tony's apartment was a crime scene.

(In case you were wondering, Lucy from HR won the pool. Tony had been sure he'd top out at three, but dammit if he wasn't the little Probie that could.)

It started with the instruction to make Tony's apartment a crime scene.

That was the definitive, undisputed greatest octave raise in NCIS history. McGee would get more than one pat on the back, and have no idea what it was for.

"Is he all right? What happened? "McGee demanded, a little more abrupt than he usually was with Gibbs.

"Well, I don't know, Tim. It might be that someone tried to kill him. "

"Is he all right? " McGee demanded again.

"Aside from the mercury in his system, yeah, he's fine. He's with Ziva now, but we need to secure the crime scene. "

"Someone tried to kill him? Who?"

McGee sighed, starting to look around his desk. "Should I find that list of suspects? After the last time, Abby put a laminated copy in my desk."

McGee got the startling sensation that Gibbs was trying not to laugh.

"Not this time, Tim. Just the one he was living with."

And with that, Gibbs hung up.

(\\\\)

After word had spread to the evidence lab, everyone in the building found a way to avoid going down there. Abby was heard yelling after Agent McGee as he left to secure the crime scene some very interesting (and highly illegal) suggestions about what to do it he ran into her. (A couple of the newer agents had not known that there were that many ways to kill a woman with a platform boot.)

Second hand knowledge was usually a poor form of information, but as an investigator, Tony has made an art out of knowing what happened based on eye-witness accounts.

Mrs. Grueber, from down the hall, swore that the young Agent Timmy looked very "vehklempt", and that Agent Gibbs had very blank and empty look on his face. He was never the most expressive, but that single raised eyebrow – for two consecutive hours – did serve to unnerve her. Tony took that to mean a complete mental breakdown on the part of his boss.

Photos and sketches were taken of all of his possessions. It might have been foolish to retain any pride at this point, but he could have done without Gibbs knowing he owned the Twilight Movies. His only true hope was that Gibbs didn't recognize it – and McGee didn't tell him.

Mr. Faulton, his landlord, was very put out that he'd been 'detained for questioning', until Tony reminded him how great it would go over at Poker on Sunday. All of a sudden, the man had been this close to being arrested in association of the attempted murder of a federal agent. Either that, or he had practically solved the crime before the cops got there. It depended on who you asked.

Now Tony, or Very Special Agent DiNozzo, knows what you're thinking. He does this for a living, and knows you're wondering why Ziva would invite the Bitch From Hell, as Abby promptly named her, back to Tony's apartment any time she pleased. Well Tony was wondering the same thing. He wasn't exactly looking forward to a reunion.

But he knew (and you should have, shame on you), that he could trust his team. They may sometimes overlook the obvious, as evident by the fact that they're all in this mess. But once the mess has been exposed, they cope. If it takes an emergency trip to Somalia, they cope.

Ziva had invited her back on purpose. Shayla, conniving as she was, didn't know they were investigating the poisoning. Didn't know they were going to nail her to the fucking wall, just to take turns at beating the crap out of her. Didn't know exactly how valued and needed Tony actually was. She'd started to believe her hype, and forgot that not everyone did.

So when she came back (and she would, because remember, Tony told you she needed the control), Gibbs would be able to have a very calm, controlled, and civil conversation with her.

Or he could just shoot the bitch.

(\\\\)

Tony sat at Ziva's place, staring at the painfully bland décor. Trying very hard not to think of the fact that twenty to thirty NCIS agents were currently ripping his apartment apart.

Ziva was doing a very unnerving impression of a mother hen. She sucked at it. It was actually kind of frightening. He finally managed to get her to sit down and watch Seinfeld reruns with him. He hated the show, but at least she wasn't trying to helpfully cook him a four-course dinner.

Ducky stopped by to verify the doctor's prognosis with his own eyes. He told a predictably long-winded tale that Tony didn't even pretend to listen to, but he did it without looking at Tony pityingly so, you know, Tony took what he could get.

Thinking through the timeline later, Tony realized that about the time Ducky was talking about Scotland in the sixties, Gibbs was talking to Shayla.

(/)

It was three hours before Shayla returned home. The techs had finished up, and McGee and Gibbs were just wasting time interviewing Tony's neighbours. Predictably enough, they all said that Tony had settled down when that nice Shayla woman moved in.

She wasn't worried. She was carrying four bags from high-end boutiques, no doubt purchased with Tony's money. She smirked when she saw Gibbs.

"Agent Gibbs, " she said, with a false sweet smile that he wanted to smack. "You need to keep better control of your agents. David attacked me earlier today. "

"Might have something to do with you poisoning her partner." Gibbs growled.

(The way Mrs. Grueber told it, he sounded angrier then her husband Carl when he missed his shows)

Shayla wasn't smart enough to flinch. She wasn't even smart enough to hold back the smirk.

"Agent Gibbs, what are you talking about? I've done nothing wrong. "

"Save it, " McGee stepped in, unable to keep silent. "We've just had agents in, looking for mercury in your apartment. "

Shayla's smile didn't waver. "Find anything? "

"We will, " Gibbs put in succinctly.

"No, Agent Gibbs. You won't. But send Tony my love. Now if you're going to continue questioning me, I'm going to need a lawyer. "

Gibbs leaned against the wall calmly. Mr. Faulton would swear he had recurring nightmares for the rest of his life from Gibbs' speech.

"Where do you get your tires changed? " He questioned quietly. "Your brakes checked? You're absolutely sure that the person who fills your prescriptions hasn't been added recently?"

Tony would have to guess, based on the combined tales of Mrs. Grueber and Mr. Faulton, that at this point, her smile started to waver just a tad. And she might have gotten a little pale under that fake tan.

Fortunately for her, Gibbs didn't feel the need to say much more, just directed McGee to take her into custody for questioning.

And his boss passed his neighbour's door, nodding to Mrs. Grueber, who had been blatantly eavesdropping the entire time (and for that, Tony's grateful), several accounts swear that the older lady actually winked at his boss.

"Well said," she offered. "Coffee?"

And so it begins. Buckle up, kids, gonna be a bumpy ride.