I've been up since 4am. It's not because Saoirse was fussy, although her crying was what woke me. No, that's not it. Usually, I'm well able to go back to sleep after a feeding. I think that I'm still worried about Wesley and this situation with Starfleet. It's been hard for Jean Luc and I to reconcile the organization that we knew with the establishment that we're dealing with now.

I've always looked to Starfleet as a shining white beacon of worthy ideals and morality. Their mission statement rings fastidiously with allegiance to honourable tenants of respect for other cultures. Her main goal is peace in her quadrants of influence.

Since the inception of Starfleet, her purpose has been honour. She refused to let her ships be cloaked in battle because she thought it made for an unfair fight. She didn't trade her weapons technology because she didn't want to encourage wars and strife on other worlds.

Everything that is happening is discontinuous with the organization that my husband and I once pledged our lives to!

I had always held this overarching view that humanity is, in fact, evolving. Like I've said before, I was always taught that life on Earth was the result of a random but propitious coalescence of basic elements and compounds. In spite of slightly incongruous logic, I believed that humans had evolved and that they are indeed continuing that process. I believed that our prowess as a species is augmenting and that we are becoming perfected. But those views are shaken and challenged almost every day. When we're faced with situations like this, I wonder how the human race gets along at all. At least species like the Klingons are bound by honour and duty to their world and their families. Humans, however, are driven by avarice and greedy desires. We like to believe that we are incorruptible and good, but we're hopelessly tainted.

I thought that Owen Paris would prove true to the character that I've seen him show in the past. I thought that at least some of the men and women that were attracted to the ideals that Starfleet laid out would stand up and say something and not allow such corruption and evil. But, it looks as though I was wrong.

I look down at the little girl in my arms. Every day she's getting so much bigger and before either of us knows it, she'll be leaving us just like her brother. Her light auburn hair is getting long and she looks more and more like her father. She has the most beautiful green eyes. They're mesmerizing, in fact, just like her father's. I want to hold her here, safely in my arms forever.

"Mom?" A family voice rouses me from my musings. I turn and smile. I love his voice and I don't hear it nearly enough.

"Mom, Sophie and I should leave now. Would you mind driving us to the transport station?"

I feel horrible about last night. Poor Sophie was so good to come with Wes and help him and I think she felt that we were a little curt and hostile. I don't want her leaving our home with a bitter taste in her mouth.

"Wes, Sophie, won't you stay for a while longer? Wesley, I've been agonizing over where you've been for most of the week. Do you really have to be going now? At least let me feed you both something."

I look over at the small girl standing next to Wesley. I smile. She must be a whole foot shorter than him and half his weight. Her long brown hair curls messily around her head. She looks a little nervous, "Sophie?" her attention is reoriented towards me, "I'm very sorry about the other evening. Jean Luc and I are so grateful for all your help. Please stay for a while longer," I look over at my son, "and then I'll take you to the Yakima transporter station. OK?"

"Sure, Mom." I smile; He knows from experience that there's no dissuading me once I make up his mind for him.

/

"So, Sophie, what is it that you do?" The poor girl was starving! I'm amused as she devours her breakfast with the voraciousness of a Tenerian house cat!

She takes a sip of her coffee, "I'm in vet school. I'm about to graduate this year and I'm currently looking for placement."

"Oh? Are you looking close to home?"

She smiles, "Trying to. I specialized in large animals so I'm looking to work with cattle farmers and sheepherders. So, working in this area would be ideal because I'd be close to my parents and I love the Yakima Valley."

"What led you into veterinary medicine?" Jean Luc asks over his coffee cup.

"Uh, d'you know Sam? He and his wife own the cattle farm over off Evanston."

"We do! We buy our meats from them!" The statement is true; it's a small world. But I'm always surprised at how small.

"Well, uh I worked with them for a summer before I went to vet school and I got really interested in their methods of raising and feeding their cattle. I'm sure you know, it's very unique."

"Mom," Wesley refocuses our conversation, "we really have to go. Can you take us to the transporter station?"

"Yes. Sorry. What time is it?"

"It's 7:45."

"Oh! Yes! I have patients starting at 8:30. We have to get going! Jean Luc," I turn to my husband and the baby, "what time does your class start today?"

"Noon. I'll drop Saoirse off your office at 11:30 before I leave for the transporter station."

"Great," I lean over the table and kiss him softly not before I land a kiss on a head of familiar coloured hair.

/

"Wes, will you please call me or Jean Luc once you've spoken with the dean? I don't think that either of us can go through another day assuming the worst like we did for the past week."

"I know, Mom. I am really sorry and I will." I feel a kiss on my cheek as the two leave the car, practically hurdling towards the station.

He's hiding something, though, and I don't know what. No. I can't let him leave.

"WES!"