A/N: Warnings for masturbation and fantasizing...
Sebastian finished his route almost an hour late, but nobody seemed to mind. Either they were giving him slack for being the newbie, or nobody really cared when they got their packages or not. Either way, he was happy when he turned in his keys and his digital pad for the day and could head for home.
He took a detour to hit up the library. Sebastian didn't have a phone or a computer at his apartment, and there was something he was extremely curious about. The computer lab charged a quarter for every five minutes of computer time, but since Sebastian was charming, handsome, and broke as a joke, he was able to convince the middle aged librarian to let him jump on for one minute.
He raced to the computer, not wanting to waste any time, opened up a browser window, and Googled "meaning of the name Kurt".
"The name Kurt is German in origin, and means 'courageous advice'. It is also English in origin and means 'bold counsel'."
Sebastian smiled. He wondered if Kurt really didn't know the origins of his own name, or was there some reason he didn't want to tell him.
He took a slip of paper from a notepad beside the computer station and a tiny golf pencil and wrote down the definition quickly. He looked it over, and then took a second piece of paper, writing the information over again but this time making sure that his handwriting was as neat and legible as he could make it. He folded both pieces of paper, stowed them safely away in his pocket, and then left, hoping to make it to the bus stop before the bus came. If he missed it, he would have to wait another hour for the next one. He was eager to be home, alone with his thoughts.
Sebastian took a shower. The hot water hadn't completely returned, but at least he had enough warm water to thoroughly wash his body and hair.
He threw on only a pair of boxer briefs because ironically even though he could barely get a lick of hot water in his studio apartment, the heater was constantly going into overdrive. His first night in his apartment he put on a pair of sweats before sliding under his comforter. He woke up in the middle of the night sweating bullets. By the morning he had sweat so much, he assumed he was at least five pounds lighter.
He lay above his heavy blanket and looked at the slip of paper from the library.
"Kurt...courageous advice."
Sebastian could definitely see it - those fiery blue eyes that changed color from calm to storm in seconds, that determined chin, the strong jaw. He had only known Kurt a couple of days, but he had definitely proven that he was a force to be reckoned with.
There also seemed to be another, completely different side to Kurt. One that rarely left his house, liked things neat and in its place. The Kurt that had that strange panic attack in the bar when he looked at Sebastian's shoes. The one that didn't want Sebastian to think he was cheap and easy.
The one that complimented Sebastian on the color of his eyes, even going so far as to wrap himself in it.
Sebastian closed his eyes to chase the image of Kurt in that emerald green satin robe, the same shade as Sebastian's eyes.
Did Kurt wear it on purpose? He had to have. How could that be a coincidence?
Kurt seemed to be giving Sebastian signs; subtle ones, but still.
Sebastian imagined that Kurt was a hopeless romantic.
Kurt wasn't the kind of man that Sebastian could just pick up at a bar and bend over the bathroom sink for a quickie.
Kurt needed to be wooed. He deserved to be wooed.
He imagined taking Kurt out to dinner, buying him flowers, going to the movies together, and holding hands.
Those perfect, soft hands - so pale and flawless; long, thin fingers interlaced so perfectly with his. Sebastian rubbed his fingers together, trying to recall the feeling of Kurt's hands when he had touched them.
Sebastian would walk Kurt to his door. Sebastian could see Kurt perfectly in his mind, dressed impeccably in another McQueen creation, porcelain skin glowing in the moonlight. Kurt would smile at him, trying to find something else to say, not eager for the night to end. Sebastian would brush a lock of hair off of Kurt's forehead, just an excuse to brush his fingertips across his smooth skin. He would continue the trail of his fingertips down Kurt's cheek, tracing along the contours of his pink lips, a slight flush of color warming his cheeks as he ducked his head demurely.
Sebastian would cup Kurt's cheek with his hand, pleading silently for Kurt to lift his eyes. His gaze would flick over Kurt's lips, pursed sweetly in anticipation since Kurt would know what Sebastian was quietly asking.
Sebastian could feel Kurt's breath ghosting over his lips as he inched closer, spiraling into the depths of his cyan eyes.
Sebastian's whole body burned as he tried to imagine what Kurt's lips would feel like touching his. If Kurt's lips were anywhere near as soft as his hands, kissing Kurt would be heaven. That first touch of lips, just a gentle brush of skin against skin, would send sparks flying between them; he just knew it.
Sebastian's cock twitched in his boxer briefs as he remembered the sensation of electricity crackling across his skin when Kurt rubbed his thumb along the back of Sebastian's hand. Sebastian would kiss Kurt tenderly, pulling his lower lip between his teeth and nibbling gently.
Kurt would gasp, holding onto Sebastian as he moved to deepen the kiss.
With his eyes closed, Sebastian couldn't stop his hand as it blazed a trail from his own lips, over his neck, down along his chest, reaching slowly into his boxer briefs and wrapping his fingers around his cock, which continued to grow harder as he held himself.
Sebastian stroked himself slowly, enjoying the slow drag of his own skin as he worked over his cock, the vivid image of taking Kurt into his arms and holding him tight against him making his body ache. He would gather Kurt up in his arms, hearing Kurt giggle against his lips as he carried him over the threshold and upstairs to the bedroom.
Sebastian figured a man with Kurt's incredible fashion sense would have a stylish and modern bedroom, with walls painted a pale Dior gray, and hardwood floors, maybe even a four poster bed draped in sheer fabric on all sides.
Of course, it wouldn't matter if Kurt's bedroom was simply a mattress on the carpet in the middle of a room with four plain walls. As long as the two of them were together, bodies pressed against one another, heat feeding off of heat as they moved in unison, then the moment the two of them gave themselves to each other would be magic.
Sebastian would lay Kurt down gently, undress him slowly, unwrapping him reverently like a gift.
The slow rhythm of Sebastian's hand began to quicken, and he arched his body off the mattress, as if searching for another body to press against and make him complete.
The sound of Kurt moaning would be musical and airy, like the light sighing of the wind. He would hold him down gently, worshipping him with his tongue, feeling the definition of Kurt's muscles, following the lines of his abs as they dipped and curved beneath his milky skin.
Sebastian bucked into his hand, putting a fist to his open mouth to muffle his own moaning.
Sebastian wouldn't take Kurt on his hands and knees as he had so many nameless, faceless one night stands. He would enter Kurt gently, look deep into his eyes, watch his lips quiver endearingly. He would hold him close, kiss softly down the column of his neck, whisper sweetly in his ear, tell him all of the hidden things he shouldn't be feeling after three days of nothing but sarcastic banter, one failed attempt at a quickie in a bar, and a moment where the gentle touch of fingertips was enough to stop Sebastian's heart and burn the memory of Kurt's skin onto Sebastian's forever.
Sweat started to bead along Sebastian's hairline as he gave up moving his hand over his cock and instead began bucking his hips feverishly into his fist. He bit down hard on the hand in his mouth, feeling the tingle of pain sweep over his skin.
Kurt would writhe beneath him, grabbing at Sebastian's broad shoulders, digging his nails into his skin, and Sebastian would take it. Take whatever Kurt had to give him. Pain, pleasure, it wouldn't matter, as long as Sebastian could have him.
Sebastian would feel Kurt tremble, muscles twitching, failing as his orgasm started to wash over him, and Sebastian would be strong for him, coaxing him to cum - and if there was a God anywhere in the heavens that liked Sebastian even just a little bit - more than once, with Sebastian's name on his lips.
Because right now, Sebastian was cumming, and he moaned long and loud around the fist in his mouth, a sound that was undeniably Kurt's name.
Sebastian felt sated, warm and loved, still lost in a daydream where Kurt had flipped them over, laying his body over Sebastian's, and had wrapped them together in the blanket off his bed. Content and breathless, he would lay in the safety of Sebastian's arms, where the nightmares couldn't touch him, and nothing in the world would matter but the warmth in the air, and the lovers drifting to sleep in each other's arms.
Sebastian smiled, happy for the first time in months, until he opened his eyes and found himself alone. Pathetic and alone.
He sighed.
He cleaned himself up quickly, trying not to acknowledge what he had just done. He didn't bother putting his boxer briefs back on as he lay on his stomach on the bed, hugged his pillow against him, and drifted off to sleep.
Sebastian sat in his truck outside of Kurt's house, dreading seeing him. He was embarrassed, flushing red without even seeing the man, reliving his vivid masturbatory fantasy in his head as he looked at the pale yellow house with its white shutters, looking so much like a gingerbread house in style and form that it actually made Sebastian's teeth ache. He was sure that the minute Kurt looked into Sebastian's face, he would know, know that he had dreamt of making love to him; dreamt of kissing his smooth, angelic skin; dreamt of making him cum over and over.
Sebastian groaned, willing the dream away just long enough to make it to the door, deliver the envelopes, and make it back to the truck with his dignity intact.
Sebastian grabbed up the envelopes and his digital device and made his way to the door, marching like he was storming a beach, prepared to confront the enemy. Before he made it even halfway there, the door swung open and there stood Kurt, dressed in red skinny jeans and a matching Marc Jacobs button down shirt, tight and tailored with a black vest over it.
Devil dressed in red, Sebastian thought. Good Lord!
Suddenly, the sweet daydream of the previous evening changed to one where Kurt was riding Sebastian's cock, mercilessly driving himself up and down, throwing his head back, sweaty hair plastered to his overheated skin as he dug his nails into Sebastian's chest, marking him deliciously.
Sebastian almost tripped over his own feet.
No more dressing gowns. Kurt looked dressed to kill.
But it was only two in the afternoon.
Was he going out somewhere?
Or was there a chance that Kurt had actually dressed like this for him?
Sebastian couldn't think about it, or he'd have another embarrassing hard-on on his hands.
"Uh, I have your packages," Sebastian stuttered, handing Kurt the digital signing pad and stylus, trying to look anywhere but at this man dressed in that sinful outfit.
Kurt took it, signing quickly, and handing the machine back to him, holding out his hands to wait for his envelopes.
Sebastian tried, but he couldn't look into Kurt's eyes. In his mind, Sebastian had made love to Kurt, and he couldn't make the feeling go away, couldn't keep his heart from beating so fast he was sure Kurt could hear it. When he finally did manage to peek up through the fan of his lashes, he noticed that Kurt seemed to be having a similar problem looking at him.
The sideways dart of Kurt's usually fire filled eyes. The way he tried not to touch Sebastian's hands as he handed him the envelopes. The immediate blush to Kurt's pale cheeks when Sebastian's fingertips accidentally brushed Kurt's hand.
'Holy shit!' Sebastian thought, and silently crowed.
Sebastian felt a grin forming on his face, but not his usual cocky one. This one was shy, bashful.
Kurt busied himself for a moment setting his envelopes down, and then turned back to Sebastian expectantly. Sebastian let an awkward quiet fall between them as Kurt stood, waiting.
Kurt looked up into Sebastian's flushed face, his sheepish smile lighting his green eyes.
Kurt laughed, an unexpected sound that shocked Sebastian into laughing himself. Kurt dropped his head into his hands and shook his head.
"Uh, thanks for the packages," Kurt said, snickering adolescently. He raised his face to look up at the ceiling. Sebastian caught a glimpse of the column of Kurt's neck, and the pulse beating like a drum right below his jawline.
Sebastian held his breath.
He wanted so much to press a kiss to that spot.
Kurt looked back at Sebastian, his eyes shimmering.
"Any time," Sebastian said, saluting comically before turning to walk away.
Sebastian took a few steps before he remembered the slip of paper burning a hole in his pocket.
"Oh!" he said, spinning around and making his way back to Kurt. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the slip of paper. He handed it to Kurt, who took it delicately between two fingers.
"What is this?" Kurt had a surprised expression on his face.
"It's your name." Sebastian gestured to the folded paper. He smiled again and walked away.
Kurt opened the folded paper in his hand carefully. He read the words Sebastian had written. The meaning of his name.
Kurt felt a lump form in his chest.
"Uh, Sebastian?" Kurt called before he had reached the gate.
Sebastian turned to look Kurt's way. Kurt waved him back over. Sebastian raised an eyebrow, then jogged back down the walk, eager for any reason to stay.
"Why did you do this?" Kurt asked.
Sebastian shrugged.
"Because, I thought you should know how special your name is," Sebastian said without a thought. "You did the same for me."
Sebastian watched as Kurt reread the tiny note over and over again, following Kurt's eyes as they drifted repeatedly over the paper.
Kurt looked up suddenly, just as Sebastian had turned to leave.
"What are you doing tomorrow night?" Kurt asked quickly.
Sebastian couldn't believe what he had heard Kurt say.
"Uh...excuse me?" Sebastian needed clarification.
"Tomorrow night," Kurt repeated. "Do you have plans?"
Sebastian felt that shy smile returning.
"Uh, no," he said. "I happen to be free tomorrow night."
'And any other night for the rest of my life,' his mind supplied.
"Great," Kurt said. "Do you...maybe...want to get a drink...with me?"
Sebastian couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was in such a state of shock, he almost didn't answer.
Kurt cleared his throat.
"Uh, yes! Yes, of course! That would be great," Sebastian said, a little too eagerly.
Kurt giggled.
Sebastian sighed at the sound.
"Well, we'll iron the details out tomorrow," Kurt said, stepping back behind his door. He kept an eye on Sebastian's face as he slowly closed the door.
Sebastian heard the door click shut. The subtle sound snapped him out of his stupor. He turned and walked back to his truck, bouncing a bit with each step.
He couldn't believe it. He had a date with Kurt.
Then the reality of his life crashed down on him, and he went cold.
'Holy shit! I have a date with Kurt!'
Kurt turned, letting out a deep sigh. He had practiced those words over and over again. They sounded nothing like what actually came out of his mouth when the time came. Kurt looked at the paper in his hands and smiled. He ran up the stairs to his bedroom, and fixed the tiny slip of paper securely into the frame of his mirror, so he could look at it every morning. Then he carefully undressed and stepped into the bathroom for his third cold shower of the day.