A/N: here I am! All home and safe for Christmas; a break from uni is really what I needed. This is a very short chapter, well, relative to my usual length, but I really hope you enjoy reading it, because I certainly enjoyed writing it. This is another personal favourite of mine.
Disclaimer: I don't ever recall owning Invader Zim or Johnny the Homicidal Maniac (must have been sleeping), but I don't own the rights to either cartoon or comic.
...
It had been a great afternoon. At last Molly got to see all her old friends again.
GIR had thrown a small party as he tried to invite those pigs from last time. Too bad Zim ripped up his invitations...
Now that time had come around once again, just like the first time. Molly had to go back home, and that reaper was coming to reap her soul. Déjà vu...
Zim was looking out the window as the party had scattered around the base.
"I wonder now if he'll take as long as last time..." Zim mused out loud.
Molly glanced his way as she walked over by his side. "I'm sure there would be a good reason. He does have a lot to do today. That's why he was late last time," she said.
"Well I like punctuality. Someone should fire him up there!"
Molly didn't know what else to say. She felt she should stick up for him more, but truth be told, Nny was just being tardy again.
"So... this Nny's human too, right?" Dib said upon the couch.
"Yes. Shocking, isn't it? You may want to stay clear of him. He's only human in appearance…"
"He sounds like the character. I like him already," Gaz remarked, playing with a Rubik's cube. The GS2 must have gotten boring.
Dib rolled his eyes. "You would like a fellow psycho."
Gaz stopped and gave him that cool, yellow stare. "Yeah, well this 'psycho', Dib, is that dark, looming shadow that watches you sleep at night, holding that pillow above your drooling mouth! So I would choose your words more wisely..." She went back to playing her Rubik's cube.
They all stared in silence. Dib, however, had heard it all before...
"That's awful," Molly gasped, staring at Gaz horrified.
"I am what I am..." Gaz replied, emotionlessly.
Molly gave her a sympathetic look. "It's okay. I know you wouldn't hurt Dib deep down, Gaz. I sure wish I had an older brother to look out for me..."
"I don't need taking care of," Gaz pointed out. "Dib maybe, but not me..."
Dib glared at her, and then shook his head.
With the lack of a mother figure, and their father hardly around, Dib had taken on somewhat of a parental role for Gaz. There was only twenty months between them, but he had to be much older for good reason. Gaz was the one who had the true childhood...
"What?" she asked then, after she noticed him staring at her.
"Nothing," he replied. "You wouldn't understand anyway. When you're older," he said like her father.
Gaz made a sound of derision, and went back to her Rubik's cube. She wasn't having an easy time of it, which was why she was so touchy.
Zim watched them disappointed, as he gave a dismissive wave of the hand.
"Don't pay them any heed," he said, looking at Molly. "They're not a traditional human family."
"Hey!" Dib yelled. "You're right, but come on. That was uncalled for!"
"Well, you're not exactly like one of those manufactured families on TV with the dazzling smiles. Come along, Molly, we may as well spend some time together. We don't know how long you have left."
Zim led her away, leaving the siblings alone to sort out their differences, or maybe not. Silence is golden.
What they found in the kitchen was a sight to behold.
GIR, Minimoose, Skoodge and little Molly were playing a game of 'Guess Who' on the table. A dapper Heathcliff stood to their left, dressed in a butler's outfit, as he poured drinks.
Of course; Zim was supposed to release him back into civilization, but he seemed to enjoy his newfound butler-hood. It was either that or a mathematician.
"Does your human have glasses?" Skoodge asked.
"NO!" GIR cried. "He has two balls of glue for eyes, and no arms!"
"So, your human isn't wearing glasses? Just one simple answer, you stupid SIR unit!" Skoodge banged his head against the table.
Little Molly started laughing, and looked over at Skoodge. "Just push down all the people who aren't wearing glasses, Skoodge, but forget the gluey eyes and no arms thing," she said, smiling at GIR. The robot was funny.
She had only just met them all an hour ago, but she already felt like a part of the family. She wasn't staying for much longer though, as she was going to the hospital to meet Johnny junior.
"I'm so glad you're here, Molly..." Skoodge said.
Minimoose gave Skoodge an evil glare. If only he'd picked Molly instead of GIR to partner up with.
"What on Irk are you all playing?!" Zim asked, horrified.
"It's Guess Who. I loved that game!" Molly I said.
"Me too!" Molly II replied.
Heathcliff leaned over Molly the II next. "Would you like more juice, Lady Molly?"
"Okay, Mr. Butler Man! Fill me up!"
She held up her cup, as the butler poured that liquid.
Heathcliff was surprisingly handsome beneath all that body hair. Now his skin was as smooth as a baby's.
GIR seemed to agree too, as he stared up at his ex-hobo buddy.
"Aw, Heathcliff. I'm gonna miss ya!" He attacked the butler as the juice crashed to the floor.
And the saddest thing of all: it was an even happier love story than the original Heathcliff and Cathy... (sorry Emily Brontë).
"I guess our game's finally finished," Skoodge said, peering over at GIR's card. "I knew it! It was Susan! The little sorceress; she was right in front of me the entire time!" He pushed down all the remaining people until he got to Susan. "Haha! Not so devious now, are you?"
Zim looked a little worried for him. "I think that's enough Earth games for you today, Skoodge. You're honestly starting to believe they're real..."
He put the game into its box next, and placed it back inside the cupboard.
"What game should we play now?" little Molly asked.
Molly senior beamed. "How about house?"
"No! That's a girl's game, Aunt Molly."
"But... you are a girl..."
Silence fell over the table. Zim looked over from the cupboard, face taking on that nervous expression.
Luckily, Minimoose came up with a suggestion in time, and they all agreed.
The new game involved sticking a post-it-note to your forehead, as another team member would write a famous person's name on it, living or dead.
They all sat in a circle on the floor, as the procession was as follows: Minimoose, since the game was his idea, Gaz, Dib and then little Molly. Zim came after, as he was followed by Molly senior, GIR and then lastly, Skoodge.
The computer had opted out; he wasn't in the mood...
"Let me see..." Zim said when it was his turn. "Do I have a double X chromosome?"
Dib looked taken aback. "What?" he said, shaking his head. "Just ask whether you're female, Zim!"
Dib kind of liked the game so far, despite how reluctant he was to play at first (as Zim guilt-tripped him into playing for Molly), but Zim just killed it with that stupid, alien question. If only he knew that little Molly had stuck his father's name across his forehead, he wouldn't be so keen to play then...
The little girl was a little clingy. He was her idol's son after all.
"Yeah, Zim, listen to Dib! Stop talking like a nerdy scientist!"
Gaz stared at her, groaning. The way she latched onto Dib and agreed with everything he said made her sick. Plus, it was annoying.
"I like this girl," Dib said, "but hey, watch it. My father's a scientist."
"I know!" she squealed, gripping his arm. Dib looked nervous, and for good reason; she was rough.
There's nothing like your first crush...
"That's it, I'm out," Gaz said, moving out of the circle. The cuteness was proving too much.
She pulled her post-it-note off her forehead next, and glared at the name.
"The Angry Monkey, like from that lame TV show? Who gave me this?!"
Everyone looked at GIR.
"He mah favorite monkah!" he said.
"I knew it! So that's why you all went quiet when I asked if I ever won a Nobel Prize? I'm a friggin' monkey! You made me look like a fool, you tin can! I'll get you back!"
"Uh-oh, you don't want to be on top of Gaz's list, GIR," Skoodge said, nudging him with his elbow.
It was his personal revenge. He wasn't the best of friends with the robot since he chewed his head. There was still a scar.
GIR smiled up at him. "I do..." he said, liking the idea of being on top of Gaz's Christmas list.
It was Molly senior's turn in the circle now.
"Do I have um... hair?" she asked.
"Yes, plenty of it," Dib replied, grinning.
He had given her Bigfoot. More of a legend than a famous person, but still, it was deliberate on his part. She was his first evidence of the paranormal. Maybe sticking that name on her head would help him find Bigfoot.
Her face lit up. "Oh, am I the Abominable Snowman?"
Suddenly, there came a loud, solemn thump at the door, as everyone turned still. The sound echoed through the house, bringing that oppressive chill...
"Who could that be? We're not missing anyone, I think..." Dib said, looking around at his fellow party guests. He only just realised how weird his current situation was.
"I know who it is," Zim growled. "At least he had the decency to use the front door this time!"
GIR ran to the window and gasped. "Ooooh, there's a spooky skeleton man at the door, and he has a giant lollipop!"
He went to open the door next.
"GIR, don't answer that! Quick, everyone hide! He mustn't know we're here!" Zim yelled.
"I can hear you in there," said that dull voice outside the door. "Nice toilet sign by the way..."
"Oh, he is good," Zim said. "Very well. Go and answer it, GIR."
So GIR opened the door, and there that hooded figure stood tall.
The robot stared in amazement, as he released a loud squee.
One of those glowing, white eyes narrowed. "Hello... strange, squeaking robot, is Molly there?"
"It's the Easter Bunny! Where's mah chocolate egg?!" the robot yelled (what happened to the spooky skeleton?)
The figure released that irritated growl. Only the most innocent and gullible perceived him as something different, and now he was a giant rabbit with a basket of eggs...
"Very well. Here is your chocolate egg, tiny tinman."
The figure reached his hand into his pocket, and out popped that chocolate egg. Where did it come from?
The robot held his hands out. "Gimme! Gimme!" he yelled, snatching the egg right out of death's hand, as he shoved it in his mouth.
Zim appeared at the door, as he pushed the robot away.
"Don't mind him, he's an idiot."
"I can see. So, where's Molly?" the reaper asked.
"Oh, wouldn't you love to know..." Zim replied, eyes turning to slits.
"Yes, that's why I asked."
"You're lying!"
Nny looked down at him confused. When did he lie?
"I think you may be hearing voices..."
"Zim... let him inside. You can't keep him away forever; I have to go soon enough," Molly's voice said from behind the door. Nny was rather relieved to hear it.
Zim looked at her and sighed, as he moved aside for the reaper.
"Where are my manners? Please, do come in," Zim said.
"Spoken in the voice of Dracula himself... I hope you don't mind my asking, but why do you have the words 'The Tallest' written on your forehead? There's nothing tall about you..." Nny said.
"Hhm?" Zim pulled his post-it-note off his forehead, and saw those very words. "Skoodge!" he yelled. "You're only allowed to pick famous people from Earth! Minimoose made it perfectly clear."
"I'm sorry, but it seemed appropriate. With the way humans worship their celebrities, I thought "why not?" Plus, I felt kinda homesick," said that awkward, whiny voice behind the door.
"Only the stupid humans, Skoodge. What person in their right mind would worship a fellow organism who excretes all the same?"
Nny made a sound of approval. "Good point. You're not as dim as you look, Zinc, or whatever that name of yours is."
"Zim!" he corrected. "And I thought you were coming inside, Knee cap?"
"It's Nny, but without the cap..."
The reaper let himself through. He stopped at the threshold, staring at that small party in the most peculiar fashion.
"I do have the right house, don't I? This looks more like a traveling circus, and you're all wearing those post-it-notes..."
"No, you're at the right place. We're quite the bunch..." Zim replied.
Little Molly gasped once she saw Nny. "Oh my god, it's Santa!" she squealed.
Nny pinched the bridge of his nose. Now he was an overweight, jolly man in red...
Everyone looked at her as if she were stupid. Skoodge, however, saw him for the spooky monster he truly was, despite his gullibleness.
"Oh no, he's finally come for me. I don't wanna die!" he yelled, running into the kitchen.
Well, it was only a matter of time till his luck runs out. He won't cheat death forever.
Nny laughed, as the chubby alien was so funny.
Zim snarled at him, since Skoodge was his friend, but why couldn't he stop that smile forming on his face?
"I don't see anything..." Dib said anxiously. "Who's there? Not again!" he yelled.
Gaz savoured his anguish.
"Silly Santa, it's summer. Why are you here so early?" Molly II asked.
The reaper met her bright, young eyes, and decided to play along. "Because little girl, even jolly, obese men need a vacation once in a while."
"Oh. I thought you were here to give me presents..." Molly looked down, sadly.
Not another one. He ought to think before he speak...
"Ho, ho, ho! That I am!" he said.
He fished his hand inside his pocket once again, and pulled out the keys to a Porsche. It was like a lost-and-found inside that pocket...
"And I give you the keys to your new car."
He passed her the keys as she looked them over.
"Cool! It has an alien keychain!"
"Yes, fancy cars are trivial things... Enjoy your new keychain."
"Thank you, Santa!"
"And thank you, King Henry VIII, for being a good girl all year long!"
"I'm not King Henry VIII, I'm Molly," she giggled, never realising that he read the name on her post-it-note.
Minimoose gave her that name. He was into history...
Next, Molly senior approached timidly, looking down at her shoes in shame. Their last meeting didn't end so well, as she felt bad.
"Hi, Nny..." she greeted, shyly.
"Hello, Bigfoot," he replied, revealing that visible, white grin.
"Bigfoot? I don't have big feet!"
"It's written on your forehead," he pointed out.
She pulled off her post-it-note. "Oh yeah. How silly of me."
"Molly! You weren't supposed to look until the game's over!" Dib shouted, worried that it may affect his fortune of finding Bigfoot.
"The game ended three minutes ago, Dib, when I, Zim, pulled out!"
"Whatever. It was a stupid game anyway..."
Minimoose squeaked angrily at Dib, since the game was his idea.
"Sorry," the boy apologised, as he pulled off his post-it-note. He looked down at the name. "Professor Membrane?"
He looked over at Molly junior.
"I knew you wouldn't get it!" she said.
He crumpled up the note and threw it on the floor. Luckily Zim didn't notice...
Gaz glared up at Nny next. The reaper felt her gaze, as he looked down at her. He backed off from her chilly stare.
"Oh, you definitely have the crazy eyes... You're not like other little girls, are you?" he asked, voice laced with humour.
She folded her arms. "So, what's wrong with that?"
"Nothing. You just have a certain darkness to your soul that I admire. Very bleak. keep it up. Don't let society expect you to be anything other..."
"Like playing with dollys and ponies?" she said. "As if."
"Exactly. There's nothing wrong with seeing the world as it truly is. Take pride in your superior perception."
"I never thought of it that way. By the way, I like the glowing eyes. They're pretty neat, I guess…" she said, face all sour.
"I understand it can be hard to be... pleasant, but I appreciate your compliment."
"Only because people are hard to be pleasant to..." she continued.
He motioned his hand at her, as if she was the cutest little child ever.
"But you," Nny said, meeting Molly's gaze now. "Never change that sunny aura. There's no wrong in liking a bit of sunshine now and then..."
"I won't," she replied. "So... I guess it's time?"
"Right you are. It's been long enough now, Molly. I'll at least give you time to say goodbye."
Nny walked towards the kitchen to give her and her friends some privacy. He heard that whimpering in the corner by the weird toilet, as he went over to investigate.
There he found that chubby alien, rocking back and forth. The alien looked up then as he backed into the wall.
"Please..." he said, "please don't take me away. I want to live!"
Nny was transfixed by this creature's strange soul. Many new shortcuts and lanes had been added to its 'life's road' so to speak. Someone or something was keeping this alien alive...
The reaper leaned over, revealing the steel tip of his boot once he bent the knee.
"Well, well, you're certainly a curiosity. Your 'fates' have interwoven through time that they're all tangled up now. I'm guessing someone out there is too lazy to untangle the mess they've made. I don't know who operates the life-and-death mechanisms of alien worlds, but these ones are pretty lousy. Well, at this rate, you could pretty much live forever..."
"Really? That's great news!" the alien said, smiling.
Nny cocked a brow. "Is it? Does the possibility of a life with no end really seem that fulfilling to you?"
"Well... no, it doesn't..."
"Precisely. I'm not saying you should want to die, but what would you have left to live for if everything you ever knew was gone? And then you're the single most point left in the entire universe when all that life has ceased... It will happen, you know. The universe will collapse, and then there will be nothing but oblivion."
"I... I don't want to be the last thing left in the universe. I was just lying before, take me with you. Take me with you now!"
The alien gripped his cloak. Nny pushed him off.
"I can't. And even if I could, I'd be too lazy to untangle that mess..."
The alien started to panic, as he pulled on his feelers. "Well what should I do? Killing myself is out of the question. I can't die!"
"Don't I know the feeling... No matter what you do, something is always keeping you alive... But enough about me. I suggest you find something to live for now. I may be wrong in what I say, but never take your life for granted. I've come to learn that."
"So you're saying I should try to shape my own fate? I've never been given a choice before."
"I'm not entirely sure. Maybe if you focus on one fate, it will untangle the rest. Pulling one out to loosen the knot, so to speak."
"Yes, that's it! And I know which one to pick!"
"Well keep it to yourself. Now that you're here on Earth, destiny may favor you, though I should warn you: she's nuts. Don't let that perfect façade of hers fool you."
"Thank you for the advice. I'll give it a shot uh... death... guy..."
"Johnny..." he said.
"Skoodge!"
"That's not a stupid name. Well, always remember what I said, Sk-Skoodge..."
Skoodge rose to his feet and gave him a salute, and then marched into the living room. Now he was ready to take on life.
Nny leaned against the threshold of the kitchen, while Molly said her last and final goodbyes.
He felt like the big bad wolf waiting to take a wee piglet away...
He looked over to the corner of the room. There he spotted that tiny tinman crying into the nubs of a floating moose...
"How does the moose hold him with those nubby feet?!" he thought.
"I ask myself that everyday..."
Nny jumped, searching the house for that disembodied voice. "Where are you coming from?" he asked.
"Here, there, or everywhere… or maybe inside your head."
His eyes widened. "You're coming from inside my head? Impossible. I don't hear voices anymore."
"Well, in a way, I am coming from inside you. It was me who put those voices in your head in the first place..."
"Who are you?"
"Just another heartless machine..."
Nny narrowed his eyes. "You're the 'Artist', aren't you?"
"You mean the one who made you draw all those crazy stick figure comics?"
"I knew it! You are real! You're... you're sick!"
"... I have to go now, Nny. Tell Molly I said goodbye..."
"Don't you go, I'm not done with you yet!"
Nny heard that 'whooshing' sound next, as if someone took off in flight. He swung his scythe into the wall in anger.
Everyone looked up at him then. His weapon had exposed some of the wires inside the wall...
"Hey! What do you think you are doing? That is my wall!" Zim snapped.
Nny pulled his scythe out, as he gave a sheepish reply.
They all resumed with their goodbyes.
Little Molly gave her aunt a big hug, but she never shed a tear. "Goodbye, Aunt Molly, I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you too, and remember what I said..."
"I know, I know, don't let my cousins be mean to me, and to take care of little Johnny."
Nny looked up at the mention of his name. He weren't 'little'.
Molly senior covered her mouth "Shhh, quiet..." she whispered.
"Oh, sorry," she said.
"It's okay, Molly." She cupped her face with her hands. "My beautiful little niece; I'm so happy I got to meet you..."
"Me too. Say hello to grandma for me, and let her know I miss her."
"Of course I will. We'll look out for you always. You take care of her too, Zim. Protect her from all those monsters..."
"Oh, I plan to," the Irken replied, never meeting her eyes.
"At least you get to go away with Santa. You're so lucky, Aunt Molly."
Molly cocked her brows, and then looked up at Nny. "Kids..." she said, shaking her head.
"Yes, amusing creatures, but it's all right. She can believe I'm Santa if she wants to..."
"You're so funny, Santa!" little Molly peeped.
Nny shook his head again.
Skoodge stood out on the side lines, since he and Molly were strangers...
"Goodbye, Skoodge," she said to him next. "It was fun meeting you. Who knew there was more than one good alien out there?"
Skoodge startled then. He didn't expect her to say goodbye, and he was kind of touched.
"Thank you, Molly senior. I see now where Molly junior gets her sweet personality."
"You're welcome, Skoodge."
She walked over and gave him a hug, and he readily accepted it.
Now it was Zim's final goodbye...
"Well, goodbye at last, Zim," she said.
"Hm mm," he replied.
Nny shuffled his feet impatiently. "You may want to use the time you have left for better use," he suggested. "I won't wait all day for you to get less than three words out..."
"Nny!" Molly scolded.
"No, he's right. I just can't say goodbye again. At least I got another chance to see you, to know that you found peace. And after everything we've been through…" Zim couldn't finish.
"We may meet again. Remember what I told you?"
"Yes. You make me proud up there. Maybe one day you'll help a little psychic alien, too."
"I could only wish for that! You continue with your new destiny, Zim. There are so many spirits out there, and I know you can help them all."
"Then I better start getting to work. I've found enough in the city..."
They remained quiet after that. Nny made an impatient coughing sound.
Zim scowled at him, and then considered him more carefully.
"I guess I owe you a lot too, Nny-human..."
"Are you trying to thank me? It's okay, don't waste your breath. It's not expected of you."
"Well I must! You will accept my gratitude, or suffer one hour of me screaming!"
"Fine, if it means that much to you. You're welcome, Zit."
"Zim!"
"I know. And I thank you too for the part you played in that man's confession..."
Zim sharpened his eyes. "He isn't a man..."
"For once I agree with you..."
The Irken watched him curiously. "Why are you bringing him up?" he asked.
Nny gave him that half moon smile beneath the hood. "Let's just say that his time's nearly up..."
Zim's eyes widened. "Oh..." he said. "Well, don't go easy on him..."
"I'm a homicidal maniac; what else do you expect of me? To give him flowers?"
"I was just making sure. I never got that luxury. My stupid conscience got in the way."
"I understand your tactics. Instant death would have relieved him from any deserved pain."
"Yes, I suppose you're right."
Silence echoed through the room again. Dib was getting anxious. Who was there? He still couldn't see Nny...
"That's it! I can't take it anymore!" he shouted, jumping off the couch. "Where is he? Where is this 'Nny'?
Molly looked up at Nny and nodded her head. Nny rolled his eyes, and showed himself at last.
"There, you happy now?" he said, looking the boy right in the eye.
Dib's face turned white as a sheet. "It's... it's the Grim Reaper... Gaz? Are you seeing this?!"
She growled, and then waved her hand at him.
"I can't... believe... brain... pooped... purple monkey!"
Nny took a step back, as he looked down at Zim and Molly. "I think we've awakened the beast..."
"I gotta get a snapshot!" Dib pulled his camera out, and took a picture
"Hey, no pictures!" Nny snapped, shielding his eyes from the flash.
"He had the lens cap on anyway. Foolish Dib..." Zim muttered.
"Sorry," Dib said, finally coming back to his senses. "It's a habit of mine."
Nny stared at the boy's sorry face, deciding to let him off. He reminded him of a younger version of himself — he sure was crazy enough.
"Don't worry about it this time," he said, meeting his sister's eyes. "But I'm guessing you have enough problems where she's concerned..."
Gaz nodded her head.
Dib sighed. "You have no idea."
Silence consumed them all once again. Nny had waited long enough.
"Well, it's time to go, Molly," he said.
She looked up at him with those shiny eyes, as he let her have a few more minutes.
"Okay, make it quick."
"Thank you, Nny."
She took Zim by surprise next, and gave him a huge hug. So he put his arms around her too.
"At least it's not so bad this time..." she said.
"No, it's not as heart-wrenching. This is our true goodbye."
"I thought about you a lot up there..."
"And you have no idea how much I thought about you down here."
"Goodbye, Zim."
"Goodbye, Molly."
Zim kissed her on the forehead, and the action surprised everyone.
"Ew! So grose!" little Molly said, sticking her tongue out.
"I second that," Gaz added.
"Oh, be quiet, the both of you!" Zim snapped.
"It's okay, Zim. I'm flattered..." she said.
They had one last and final hug until Nny approached their side.
It wasn't so bad now, but Zim still felt that all too familiar sorrow oozing its way through his system.
"Well, now that you two have finished smooching, it's time to leave."
"I agree. Let's go, Nny," Molly said.
Nny conjured up a rift at last. The light was bright and chilly, as Molly shivered from the breeze. So did Nny for that matter. Had he never noticed how cold it was?
Nny looked back at Zim, as he just remembered a conversation he had back in limbo with a floating, talking marshmellow bunny. Apparently, he knew things about Zim...
"Oh, I hear you don't like wings..." he said.
"What are you talking about?" Zim asked.
"Please don't tease him, Nny. It will confuse him," Molly said, knowing what he was doing.
Molly had heard all the talk too. She heard it from a rock.
"Yes," Nny continued, "how could humans possibly evolve wings? Scientific principles aren't as applicable in our world; I hope that clarifies things."
Zim narrowed his eyes with suspicion. "I think I know what this is... Don't! The sight sickens me!"
The Irken covered his eyes as a large pair of wings materialised from Nny's back. With them came the sound of snapping wood.
He fanned them out once they fully emerged, folding them neatly at his sides.
His wings were tattered and missing vital feathers, as some bones were visible, but they were impressive enough. They stretched out twelve feet, twice his height to accommodate flight.
"Impossible!" Zim said. "Humans don't have the right skeletal structure required for flight. No hollow bones, no flying!"
"We're angels; we're not exactly physical anymore," Nny remarked.
"You... you've been talking to Her, haven't you?" Zim asked, aghast.
"I don't know who Her is exactly, but talk spreads through the after world. Whoever she is, she doesn't keep secrets..."
"Well she should know better. That's confidential information!"
"It's all right, Zim," Molly said. "We're not laughing at you, and your guardian only meant well. Look at mine!"
A pair of pretty, white wings emerged from Molly's back, which she fanned out and folded against her sides. They spread out six feet, twice her height.
"Ooh, pretty..." Nny said, admiring her wings.
"Thank you. I like yours too."
"These old things? They've seen better days... Well, what are we waiting for? The light awaits us..."
Nny stepped up to the light. It really was cold — sub-zero temperature wise. There were snowflakes swirling out from the other side, and when he breathed out of his mouth, he saw that fog.
He really hadn't noticed the chill until now; had he really been that cold? Frost covered the seams of his cloak when he got too close.
Molly soon followed his example, as she released that shiver. She used her wings to shroud herself from the cold.
She turned around, and waved her hand in goodbye. Zim and the gang followed suit. Then the light finally disappeared, as the room turned dull and lifeless once again.
Zim gave a wistful sigh. It was the goodbye he preferred, but it still didn't make things less painful. Second goodbyes were always the hardest...
"Well, that was nice," Skoodge said.
Zim frowned at him.
"What did I say?" he asked.
"It doesn't matter. Everything's fine now," Zim replied.
Little Molly approached his side. "It's okay, Zim. I'm gonna miss her too," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Well, at least I still have you; all of you..."
Skoodge smiled. "Aw, I think this calls for a group—"
"Group hug!" GIR screamed, attacking his head.
"Get him off, get him off!" Skoodge yelled.
Zim came to his aid. "Well, you shouldn't have opened your big mouth," he said, pulling the robot off his fellow Irken's face.
"Thank you, Zim..."
"Just this once, I'm helping you..."
Zim looked over at Dib. He was still in a state of shock.
"He's not said anything in a while..." Gaz told him.
Zim didn't know what else to say. Was Dib broken?
"I... I saw him..." the boy started.
Gaz rolled her eyes. "I spoke too soon..."
"Gaz? Do... do you think I could be—?"
"No. I'm sorry, Dib, truly. I know how much those ghosts means to you, but it was a one time thing..."
"Oh..." he said sadly. "Well, I can work with what I get..."
"Hey, let's all pretend we're in a giant spaceship!" Molly said next. "I have to go to the hospital soon, but we can play one more game."
Zim sighed, "Why not."
Skoodge put his hand in the air next. "Ooh, can I be the captain?"
"The only one who's going to be captain around here is me, Zim! So put your hand back down!"
Skoodge put his arm at his side again.
"I'll get the chairs from the kitchen, so we can set them up into a ship!" Molly ran off to get the chairs.
"Go ahead," Zim waved his hand, not caring in the slightest anymore how his house was rearranged.
Dib crept away to the door. "We think we'll head back home now, Zim. Have fun."
"You're not staying?" Molly cried, poking her head out from the kitchen.
"No, we have to hurry back," Dib replied. "Our dad has something to tell us. Well, see ya..." Dib said, leaving through the door.
"Goodbye. It's been fun, I guess..." Gaz muttered, following her brother. She pulled her Rubik's cube out of her pocket next, and started playing with it.
Zim wasn't too concerned that they left, but it was nice having all his friends around. Since when did Dib and Gaz become his friends? This was going to take some getting used to.
He will still always have a friend or two on the other side, and maybe even a third one now…
...
The light regurgitated Nny as if he were vomit.
"Ow!" he said once he hit the floor. "What the hell was that?"
Why did his own light reject him?
Molly soon came after, falling right into the back of his head. A cloud of white feathers gathered once she made impact with his skull, as Nny was almost knocked unconscious.
"I think I broke a wing!" she cried.
"And I think you cracked my skull," Nny replied, standing up on staggering legs.
He turned around and froze once he looked at her.
"What is it?" she asked.
"You're looking a little different... For one, you have more feathers..."
Molly looked down at her hands, only now they were wings. She was covered in white feathers, and her feet were talons.
"What happened to me?!" she shrieked.
"It's just a hiccup," Nny reassured. "Happened to me several times, only I turned into a vulture... Don't worry, you'll be human once again. The bird DNA in you just got a little confused, that's all, and now the light has re-assorted your molecules this way."
"Well make it go away!"
"I can't, but it will pass naturally, you'll see..."
"At least I can still talk..." she said.
"You're not, you're hooting right now. You do make a pretty owl..."
Molly scowled at him. A mouse scampered across her path next, as she caught it with her talons.
"Hey, leave some of that for me..." Nny said.
She squawked back up at him. It looks like that mysterious bird DNA has finally took over her mind, but only because it's trying to resist her human DNA.
Fortunately, she turned back into a human before she killed the mouse, or Nny. The little creature scampered off and ran through the adjacent wall.
Molly spat in disgust. "Ew! Grose! Grose! I can't believe I was going to eat that mouse."
"You would have done me a huge favor; the tunnels are filled with them. I've been meaning to get a cat, but I'm allergic..."
"Are you being serious? It was an icky mouse!"
"No, but I thought it would be interesting to point out."
She re-joined him at last, as they both looked down the tunnel. It was wide with torches running along the walls, like a spooky castle...
"This... this isn't my tunnel..." Nny muttered.
Molly backed into the wall where the light disappeared, but now it was gone. Only wind greeted her.
"What is this place?" she asked, shivering.
"It should be the tunnel leading to heaven, but these tunnels can change..."
"You... you don't think another monster will come after us, do you?"
"I don't sense it. I haven't seen this version of the tunnel yet. That's why I'm a little apprehensive."
He glanced her way. "Shall we proceed?" he said.
"Where else is there to go? The wall has gone behind us."
Nny turned around, and jumped back in surprise once he saw that black abyss. "You're right..." he said, gulping. "We can only move forward."
They took their first steps down the tunnel. Despite its scariness, this was just another plain tunnel. No inter-dimensional monsters will be coming for them anymore. It seemed rather uneventful now.
Molly could hear the distant shrieks of monkeys behind the walls, as she was deeply unsettled. Maybe Nny was telling the truth, or maybe she was insane now.
"So..." he started, trying to break the silence with useless small talk. "Are you excited to go back to heaven?"
She gave it some thought. "I think so, and I should be. There's nothing like pure bliss, but..."
"But what?"
"I would prefer to stay on Earth. As ugly as it is now, I love all that struggle and turmoil..."
"I guess bliss can get boring after a while."
"But I discovered something about myself. I love to help and protect."
"Oh, you mean like a guardian? Who planted that thought into your young, impressionable mind?"
"A friend... And what are you trying to say? You don't think becoming a guardian is a good idea?"
"I never said that, I was just curious. I suppose you would be a good candidate. You were brilliant with your nephew."
"I was, and now I know that little boy's going to be safe..."
Nny looked on in dread, knowing the truth to her words. "I hope so too..." he said.
"He will. I know for sure. I saw a friend of yours. She was taking care of him!"
"What friend?" Nny asked, curiously. Friends were scarce in his life.
"Some lady with a little guitar, and there were bluebirds flying around her head."
His face turned grim; he knew who she was talking about...
"She is not a friend, and those bluebirds are just an illusion. They represent her deluded perception of reality. Kinda like in cartoons, when someone bonks their head, and they see birds… Plus, she's a little coocoo..."
"Well I thought they were beautiful, and she was too."
Nny mumbled something unintelligible, sick of hearing about how perfect 'destiny' was.
"What?" Molly asked.
"Never mind," he said. "I suppose it's rather nice that she's finally taking interest in the destiny of someone deserving... She thinks people can change, see, and... well... she's always usually right, but that doesn't excuse her from stealing all of my victims!" he yelled, foaming at the mouth.
Molly stepped back from him.
He wiped the foam off his mouth, looking like a civilised being once again. "Excuse me; I don't mean to be so uncouth. Some people just bring out that rabid side of you..."
"It's okay," she said. "Don't feel embarrassed. You don't have to like everyone."
"I don't, but then you came along..."
She smiled. "Yeah, I know. You can't help but like me..."
He glanced down at her, unimpressed. "You're looking a tad smug there, Molly."
She met his gaze. "Well, do you believe people can change?"
Nny paused a moment. "No," he said. "You can change clothes, jobs, friends, cars, and even your face, but all that stuff's external. There is always a monster deep within..."
Molly looked down, deflated. "I... I think you changed..."
"And I'm flattered you think that way, Molly, but sadly, I have not. I'll always be the villain."
"No, you're wrong. You saved my nephew's life. You're a hero."
"Yes, and it has only gotten me into trouble. No matter what I do, it's wrong..."
"Well I don't think it was wrong. My nephew is still alive because of you, and my family won't be torn apart now. Why can't you see that?"
Nny stopped and rubbed his temples. "I don't want to discuss this anymore. I like that you hold me in such high regard, but it doesn't change what I've done. If only you had seen some of the things... but I could never spoil your lovely belief. Your naïvety is the charming aspect I value most."
"I don't care about what you've done in the past; I only care about what you did after. Everyone deserves a second chance."
"Well I don't want that second chance. I'm beyond redemption. As soon as I get the opportunity, I'm going to try to freeze myself again. It hurts. I feel the guilt coming back. It was much easier when I was cold, unfeeling..."
"If you really were beyond redemtion—"
"Redemption," he corrected.
"Yeah, that word... Then why are you here now? Why aren't you a cockroach instead?"
"I may become a cockroach once this ordeal's over. I thought I wanted that, but I don't anymore. I like being an intelligent creature. Unfortunately, I can't have intelligence without feeling. They come together."
"If I think you're good, then will that be enough to change your mind?"
"Maybe. You are kind of important to me now. Too bad you're going back to heaven. Our adventures have finally come to an end."
Molly looked down miserably. She never realised that. What if she never saw him again?
"I have something to tell you, Nny..." she said.
"And what's that?" he asked.
"My sister is going to name the baby, Johnny, after you..."
Nny looked on at that omnipresent darkness ahead. He was frozen, but his face was convulsing. What's wrong with him?
He peered down at her, as his cold, dark eyes glistened in the torchlight.
"You... how did...?"
"I circled all the letters in her magazine that spelled your name. Like this: J, O, N, N and Y!"
"You missed the H, after the O..." he whispered.
"Oh, sorry," she said, embarrassed. "I'm not the best speller."
"... The H is silent." He folded his arms next, too overcome with emotion.
"I wanted to name him after the hero who saved him... Would you like that?"
He squeezed his eyes as he felt that lump rising in his chest. It was hard to breathe...
She cocked her head to the side. "Are you going to cry?" she asked.
"No!" he yelled. "Perish the thought..."
"It's okay. You cry if you want to. I won't laugh."
He bit on his fist, trying to focus on his breathing.
"I won't cry," he finally said. His voice was hoarse. "No... no one has ever done anything like that for me before."
"Well people should do nice things for you, Nny. You deserve to be happy."
"Thank you, Molly. I'm touched, even though I don't show it."
"I know you're not a monster, Nny, because a monster wouldn't feel this way."
"You make me less of a monster..."
Molly blinked up at him, speechless. She turned away next, overcome, noticing that wall ahead of them.
"Nny, where has that wall come from?" she asked.
He looked up in a panic, but it wasn't what he was expecting.
"That is where the door will open to heaven..."
She sighed. "So soon?"
"Yes," he said. "Our time together wasn't to last, Molly. You knew that."
She gave a small nod.
Nny inclined against the side wall, sliding down until he found the floor. He propped his legs up, and placed his scythe flat against the floor.
His boots were poking out the gap of his cloak, as that black smoke disappeared. Now it looked like the seams of normal fabric at last.
Suddenly, he ripped his cloak off and threw it to the side in a tantrum, surprising Molly. It was making him too hot for the first time. He was also sweating...
Molly gave him some space for a while, and then walked over to sit on his right once he cooled down.
They never talked after that. Only the silence of the tunnel accompanied them now.
"I'll wait with you until that light opens up. After that, I must go..." he finally said, never meeting her gaze.
She gave a single nod of the head, keeping her own eyes on the ground as she traced a finger over the embroidery of her dress.
She bided her time, and then moved in closer to nestle her head against his shoulder.
He looked down at her at last. She had closed her eyes. Was she asleep?
She really did look adorable. She obviously never questioned the notion of sleep. The sensation came naturally for her. So then why were his own eyes growing heavy?
He thought about sleeping baby animals next; a kitten curled up in its basket, a puppy in front of the fire, and then a wee little penguin chick nestled beneath the feathers of its mother...
Everything looks cute when it sleeps...
He jolted up next once that bright light emerged at the end of the tunnel. Its arrival normally wouldn't startle him, unless...
Had he fallen asleep? It only seemed like a second ago when he watched the girl on his right, thinking about puppies and penguins... How much time had passed?
He didn't know what to make of it. So he had fallen asleep? Big deal. The world was still clear as always. None of his certainty had washed away. Did he dream? It was hard to tell. Small shapes may have appeared behind his lids, but nothing he could recall.
Molly, however, was still fast asleep, drooling like a waterfall half way down his arm. The picture of perfection...
"Wake up..." he croaked.
He had definitely fallen asleep. His voice had that cracked grogginess to it, and his mouth tasted funny...
"Molly, wake up. Your doorway to heaven has finally arrived..." he repeated, more clearer now.
She sat up and groaned. "Whaa...?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.
"Have a look for yourself." He got up on his feet, leaving her to wipe the sleep from her eyes.
She looked up like a mole, and gasped in fright. That was not the reaction he was hoping for...
"Oh no..." she cried.
He stared confused. "This is the end of the road now, Molly. Our momentous journey has finally met its end. I must be on my way. Like I said before, I'll be gone quicker than you can say 'Galapagos Islands', because that's where I'll be... Darwin's finches aren't going to study themselves."
"No! Don't go!" she yelled, getting up and wrapping her arms around his waist. She even went so far as to step up onto his boots so she was that bit taller.
"What are you doing? Let me go," he said.
"Please don't go. I can't say goodbye..."
"You must. This is how it has to be."
"I don't care. I'm not saying goodbye to you too. I already had to say goodbye to somebody I love today. Don't make me do it again…" she blubbered, releasing those tears.
He was stunned into silence. All he could do now was stare down at her as she buried her face into his shirt.
He twitched and convulsed, as it almost looked as if he was going to cry.
"You... love me?" he asked.
She nodded into his shirt, releasing a muffled sob.
He squeezed his eyes shut, as his hardened face finally cracked. This was the worst thing he ever had to do. He didn't think he could say goodbye either...
"I can't remember the last time someone said that to me," he said, as a tear fell from his eye.
He wiped it away in disgust. Robots aren't supposed to cry; if they did, they'd explode...
"Would... would you come to heaven with me? I know you said you couldn't see the happiness, but I'll be there. I make you happy, right?"
"You do, very much," he replied, hissing as another tear fell. It burns...
She looked up at him now. "Are you crying?" she asked.
"No, I'm just leaking oil from my eyes... Of course I'm crying, you silly person!"
She hugged him tighter. "It's okay, I won't tell anyone. I know you want everyone to think you're a cold robot man, but I know you're not."
"I know. It's a shame... I made a good robot."
"If you come to heaven, you could be my new big brother. I'll adopt you and give you a good home."
"And I'll sleep in a kennel with the name 'Nny' across the top."
She beamed. "Yes!"
"I was joking. Seriously, how demeaning..."
"Sorry," she laughed and cried.
He watched her curiously at that, and then produced a warm smile.
"I have to go, Molly. If you really loved me, you would let me go and not lock me up inside a kennel..."
"I said I was sorry."
"That was another joke, but the first part's true. It's the worst sacrifice anyone ever has to make. But I will tell you this: never, ever obliterate your affection for me or anyone else. Your heart is too beautiful to destroy, Molly. Never change it."
"Okay, I will let you go now," she said, removing her arms from his waist.
Nny could still feel the warmth of her embrace like a belt, as he looked at her torn.
"Oh, just one more time wouldn't—" he started.
She ran up and hugged him again, taking his breath away.
Now she nuzzled her cheek into his shirt. "You were warm after all, Nny," she said.
"How horrifying..." he replied.
He gazed down at her now, deciding on his next move. Then to his surprise, he lifted her up into his arms, and hugged her even tighter.
She made a small choking sound.
"How does it feel to be constricted now?" he asked.
"I really don't mind..." she said, struggling to breathe.
"... I have a confession to make, Molly..."
"What?"
"I do find you extremely adorable, and I wish you were my baby sister. That was just robot Nny that told you otherwise. Don't listen to him ever again; he's a heartless bast... uh... guy..." he corrected. Now wasn't the time for cussing.
She sat up and looked him in the eye. "I never did listen to him, but I have a confession too..."
"Yes?" he said, smiling.
"Happy Noodle Boy scares me; I hate him!"
His smile vanished. "Hey... Yeah, I hate him too. But don't tell that to the homeless insane..."
She looked down at her hands now. "So, will you be my new big brother?" she asked.
He gave it a little thought. "Okay," he said. "We can adopt each other. Not all lost puppies find a good home."
"Yay, my new big brother!" she yelled, wrapping her arms around his neck. He looked nervous. Was she choking him now?
He placed her back on her feet, and then kneeled down to her eye level. He had a few more things to tell her...
"Also, considering how I was a complete, emotional wreck before, I wanted to tell you that I really do appreciate your naming the baby after me. It's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me."
"I did it to honor you," she said.
"And it means everything. Now go back into the light. I'm sure your mother and father are waiting for you. You're going to be in big trouble now, young lady, and possibly grounded!"
"I don't care. I finally have my Mommy and Daddy again!"
He smiled at her reaction. "Yeah, you do. And don't worry; I'll take all the credit for our adventures, since that's what big brothers do for little sisters, I guess. Hey, I kinda like that word, sister..." he said, tapping her on the nose.
She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
Her kiss was warm and soft, and he was more than surprised. A strange warmth spread through his chest next, and then his arms and legs...
"I like the word brother too," she said. "It sucks being an only child."
"I suppose it does," he agreed, glancing away to the left.
Did he have siblings to call his own, or was he an only child too?
He stood up to his full height, and went over to collect his cloak and scythe. But he never put the spooky fabric back on; he just draped it over his arm.
He turned around and looked at her again. She was still standing there, waiting...
"Well aren't you going in there?" he asked.
"I... I can't. Not just yet."
"I won't leave until you're finally in there safe. I promise."
"You will?"
"Of course. You're hard to break promises for. Not that I would want to..."
She walked over and gave him another hug. He patted her blonde head, and even adjusted her shiny bow. It was looking a bit wonky.
"Goodbye, Johnny, and thank you for everything."
"You mean like sacrificing my job for you, and putting up with all your temper tantrums with my teeth clenched? And it's Nny to you..."
"Yeah, what you just said..." she looked down, sheepishly.
"Don't fret about it. I never would have laid a finger on you, or turned you into milkshake. And even if I had, that wouldn't have been me; that would have been one of my behavioral glitches. Now, come along..." he said, pulling her to the light.
They stood several feet before the light. She took a step towards it, but then Nny stopped her progress.
"Oh, and Molly... there may be an iddy biddy part of me that loves you too..."
She grinned, showing off her baby teeth. "I bet I love you more!" she squeaked.
"I'm not so sure... That small part of me is quite persistent, and he doesn't like to be challenged. Now off you go into the light..." he said with a wave of the hand.
She faced the light once again, stealing one more glance. Maybe he had something else to say? He didn't.
With a wistful sigh, she finally took her first step into the light.
"Goodbye, Molly! Have fun in heaven!" he yelled, startling her out of her wits.
"Nny! The whole of heaven can hear you!"
"Oops..."
She shook her head. That's maniacs for you. Too impulsive...
"Goodbye, Nny. And good luck..."
She stepped into the light, and disappeared at last.
The light finally went out, and then the whole tunnel turned dark.
Nny was alone again, as that all too familiar emptiness came creeping back inside.
He will see her again. He would come and visit...
Heaven will just have to make some recommendations for him, despite the mess he made last time.
Well, cheerio bliss, because Johnny's coming back...
A/N: this really was the sweetest thing I've ever written. There was Zim's spontaneous show of affection, and then Nny and Molly's little moments… So cute; it made me melt just writing it.
I never thought to mention before, but I always thought it was kinda sweet how Nny obliterated his affection for Devi, so that he wouldn't hurt her again. It's the concept of letting go of someone you care about so that they're happy. That was a big sacrifice for Nny, but he chose cold, unfeeling intellect instead, but that obviously can't last. You can't have intelligence without compassion.
Leave the unfeelingness to the invertebrates, Nny. Mr. Samsa hasn't evolved a sophisticated spinal structure like you. Mr. Samsa is the name he gave to the many cockroaches he killed in his house, which he always thought came back to life.
Nny was hard to portray. I was very nervous taking on a beloved character from Jhonen's disturbing imagination, and then turning him into something of my own. So trying to show a soft side while still retaining his character to some degree is challenging.
Nny and I couldn't be any more different. I've been told I act like a Disney character, and I love rainbows. But I had to let go of all that and put myself in Nny's shoes, literally (I went out and bought a pair of boots similar to Nny's, and the rest tells itself…)
Brace yourselves, because here comes the references...
JtHM
The homeless insane: why would they be upset that Nny secretly hates his own creation? Well, according to the words of Nny in JtHM, his comic, Happy Noodle Boy, is very popular with the homeless insane, and even Jimmy or 'Mmy' (Nny's copycat) said he stole a comic off a bum. I'm not sure how Nny really feels about his crazy creation, but he did say to Devi that apart from stick figures, he hadn't drawn anything in a while when they had that conversation in I Feel Sick. His face does look unsettled when he mentions it. Plus, Nailbunny shows some derision towards Happy Noodle Boy (he called him an anaemic piece of sh*t), and chastised Nny for giving up on his art. Nailbunny is the other end of Nny's internal conversations.
I just played with the idea that he hates him like Molly. I don't know why; I love that stickman, even though he disturbs me. My favourite line: "I have powers only pinto beans could dream of!"
Nny shouted "Good luck, Squee!"at the end of JtHM in a similar fashion to how he does here to Molly. He is an impulsive psychopath, why not.
Jhonen often puts little side comments in the corner of his panels (at one point he writes "This brick has words on it!"), and sometimes he puts an asterisk * after characters' dialogue. So when Nny says to Jimmy or 'Mmy' (or Darkness, as he also likes to be called) "Where are my manners? Please, do come in," the asterisk directs you to a comment where Jhonen writes "Spoken in spooky Dracula voice". That's just what that's a reference to when Zim invites Nny inside his house, and Nny pointed out how he sounded like Dracula. Wow, a paragraph just to explain that. I sure do waffle (GIR voice: "I like to make waffles…")
Uh-hum…
Also, who is Nny's family? Is he an only child? Again, something that is never mentioned, though I hear Jhonen stated "His parents were murdered by a very evil man" in the director's cut. He was probably joking though.
I guess Nny just wanted to go and study those famous finches of Darwin's. I doubt he needed a boat though.
Other references…
The game 'Guess Who' I remember fondly as a child. Susan is just one person who sticks out in my memory, since I had her once on a card.
That 'Famous People' game I often play with my family at parties. It's okay (helps pass the time). You look silly though with sticky notes on your forehead. I was originally going to have them play charades, but I went for that instead. Just another guessing game really.
Book references. Very sad indeed how GIR and Heathcliff's relationship is happier than the original Heathcliff and Cathy's from Wutheirng Heights… I bet you were thinking 'Still a better love story than Twilight...' The internet has that effect.
I kinda envision Dib and little Molly getting married one day. That's for a future fanfic though...
And I hate having Skoodge suggest suicide; it wasn't in character since I find him happy and cheerful most the time. He only considered it on the long run for when he's left alone in the universe.
As you know, Nny has tried to kill himself multiple times, but he has come to learn that he took that life for granted, shipping away his emotions and becoming 'death'. Thus losing any chance of happiness. That's why he gave Skoodge his advice about picking one fate, because, apparently, that's why he never dies in the series since they're all tangled up.
I never noticed, but when GIR thought he was at the top of Gaz's Christmas list, he thought he was her number one person to buy presents for. When I read it back, it sounds as if he likes the idea of being her most wanted gift. Well, there's some mild, unintentional GaGr for you.
Skoodge may be clairvoyant too. He could see Molly and Nny (it's because he has had so many close encounters with death, but truth be told it's just more convenient).
Again, I went on and on, and half my ramblings weren't even necessary, but if you made it to the bottom, thank you for taking interest in my musings that I write at three in the morning (I'm not so coherent then).
Oh, and Merry Christmas (spoken in Professor Membrane's voice).