Three years in a row, Sebastian had been captain of the Dalton Academy Lacrosse Team. He ran track and field in college. Years of dedication to athletics had given Sebastian incredible focus and strength. Once his legs started moving, few people could catch him. The year before his father kicked him out of his life, Sebastian had run in the New York City Marathon. He had finished in a fairly respectable amount of time. Right now, trying to make his way back to Kurt's house, realizing his stupid, possibly fatal mistake, Sebastian couldn't remember running so hard and so fast in his entire life. The creepy jogger hadn't actually led him and Justice all that far away from the house, but Sebastian feared that he couldn't move quick enough to get back in time.
Sebastian normally made it a point not to acknowledge the possible presence of an all-powerful God, but in desperation, prayed the entire way.
'Oh dear God,' he called over and over in his head, 'if you're there, please take care of Kurt. Please keep him safe. Please don't let him suffer because I'm a short-sighted ass.'
Five blocks stretched out like a thousand miles, with the house a dot in the distance that seemed to get farther and farther away the more he ran. Sebastian hit every obstacle he'd managed to avoid on the chase, and every time he stopped short or leapt over a retaining wall and missed took away precious minutes he didn't have.
"Fuck!" Sebastian bellowed in frustration as he tripped and fell over a plastic recycling bin, sending empty soda bottles rolling away into the street.
Justice watched Sebastian trip and stumble several times before he took the lead, cutting through several front yards, finally running the rest of the way in the street.
Sebastian tasted blood in his mouth. His lungs screamed, burning every time he took in a breath. They threw open the iron gate and flew down the short walkway. He almost couldn't stop himself in time to keep from slamming full force into the front door.
Sebastian pulled the keys from his pocket, tearing off a belt loop as he yanked them free. He fumbled the fob and dropped it in the tomato plants. It disappeared, not a single plant disturbed to give them a clue as to where the fob landed. Sebastian threw his hands up in frustration.
"Justice!" Sebastian cried.
Justice dropped to his knees and maneuvered his hands among the stalks, feeling for the keys.
A high-pitched screech from one of the rooms upstairs had both men pause, faces turning toward the shrouded windows.
Another screech followed the first one.
"Madeline!"
Justice almost yanked the dahlias out by the roots to find the keys. He pulled the ring of keys up out of the dirt and pressed the red button, disengaging the alarm, before passing the keys to Sebastian. Sebastian forced himself to calm down, forced his hands to stop shaking, as he tried to find the correct key to fit the lock. He saw himself as if from outside his body, slipping the key in the key hole, and then turning it. The key slid in, the tumblers moved, and the door lurched open, creaking on its hinges.
Both men rushed through the door, Justice shutting it behind him and quickly resetting the security system. They stood quietly, scanning the dimly lit lower rooms, listening hard for any sound.
Only the silent house greeted them. The dark had never felt so sinister to Sebastian before. This house, Kurt's safe haven, looked more like a prison to Sebastian than it ever had.
A noise - a pained and muffled groan - came from upstairs, followed by a soft thud.
Sebastian took the steps two at a time as he flew up the stairs. He raced around the corner, down the small hallway. The door to the bedroom stood slightly ajar, a soft blue glow from within calling to him. He skidded across the wood floor and burst into the room, swallowing hard as he prepared himself for what he felt sure he would find - the faceless beast from to photograph mercilessly torturing his Kurt.
Both Kurt and Madeline jumped from their places on the king-sized bed, fluffy white kernels of popped corn flying everywhere. Justice slammed into Sebastian from behind, forcing the taller man into the room. Sebastian's eyes, panicked and wide, bounced around, trying to make sense of the scene.
Kurt, dressed in a black t-shirt that clung to his torso, sat beside Madeline on the bed, a now half-full bowl of popcorn nestled haphazardly between them, kernels scattered all around, and the volume of the TV on low. Sebastian turned confused eyes to the screen, seeing it filled with the image of Tyra Banks's face as she dismissed a contestant on an episode of America's Next Top Model.
"Oh my God! Sebastian!" Kurt climbed off the bed, approaching his boyfriend cautiously. "What in the world happened?"
Sebastian couldn't seem to make the image of Kurt standing in front of him now, brow knit in worried confusion as he reached out for him, replace the image that had driven him to race up the stairs - an image of Kurt, pinned to the bed, possibly being burned, most likely being raped. As Sebastian blinked, that horrible image dissolved away. He wanted to cry with relief.
Sebastian stood stunned, unable to move, unable to speak. Kurt slowly wrapped Sebastian in his embrace. When Kurt's warm skin came in contact with Sebastian's shivering body, Sebastian threw his arms around him. He held Kurt tight in his arms, hiding his head in the crook of Kurt's neck, breathing him in, thankful to see Kurt safe.
"What happened?" Madeline asked, climbing off the bed herself and walking over to her boyfriend, fitting herself beneath the shelter of his arm.
"That jogger was out there again," Justice explained. "He was watching the house and..."
Justice's words drifted away as Sebastian fought to school the beating of his racing heart, trying to get it to match the rhythm of Kurt's. Kurt's warm breath on Sebastian's neck became the anchor that kept him sane, told him this wasn't all just some dream, that instead of standing in Kurt's arms, he was still running toward the house and some gruesome, inevitable outcome.
"Sebastian and I took off after him," he could hear Justice say, "but he got away." Justice didn't say a word about the picture Sebastian confessed to having, or their theory that two men were involved in whatever was going on.
He needed to talk to Kurt about it in private, and soon.
"Wh-what woke you up?" Sebastian asked against Kurt's neck, not wanting to move or leave the comfort of his arms for even one moment.
"I felt the bed move," Kurt said. "I thought it was you. I opened my eyes and Madeline was sitting on the bed in the dark, staring at me." Kurt smirked. "She scared the shit out of me."
Sebastian sighed. That must have been the yelling they heard. Sebastian had thought the worst, and in his mind, the worst included whips and cigars. He balled his hands into fists, pressing them against Kurt's back as he held on. He heard Kurt yelp, unaware that he was pressing his knuckles into his skin, but Kurt didn't move. He held Sebastian tighter.
"Yeah, I left to make some popcorn, and when I came back he was waking up." Madeline's bemused expression traveled between Sebastian and Justice. Justice only squeezed her tighter, shaking his head, a silent request not to ask any questions.
"What was that..." Sebastian stumbled over his words, his voice thick.
"We heard something fall," Justice filled in.
"Oh," Kurt said sheepishly, "I...well, I didn't quite agree with Tyra's selection for this week, so I threw a pillow at her."
Sebastian chuckled, a wry sound that squeezed at Kurt's heart.
"Uh, I'm not cool with creepy stalker guy watching the house," Madeline said. "Do you think it would be alright if Just and I moved up here with you guys?"
Kurt had never heard Madeline sound timid, or scared. He nodded, looking into Justice's shining brown eyes, searching for an explanation as to why his boyfriend was clutching him like the world was about to end.
The four decided to camp out together on Kurt's bed. Justice sat with Madeline between his legs while Sebastian climbed beneath the covers and lay beside Kurt. Sebastian held Kurt tight, so tight he was afraid he might actually crush Kurt, but Kurt didn't complain. He let Sebastian hold him until he fell asleep; a thankfully dreamless sleep.
Nobody slept all that well. Basically they all managed a state of unconsciousness that included the closing and opening of eyes with no memory of anything in between. In the morning, Justice and Madeline went home for a few hours to grab a change of clothes and do some food shopping for Kurt. Kurt had woken early, in the mood to make crepes. Nutella crepes were his foolproof go-to comfort food, but somehow he had gone through eighteen eggs in three days. He smiled, realizing the reason why. He had made Sebastian breakfast every day. Kurt went through a lot of eggs. Now, Sebastian would be living with him. The thought still sent tingles through him, vibrating his body. He wondered if that feeling would ever stop.
Kurt walked his two guests to the door while Sebastian made some coffee. Sebastian loved Kurt's coffee maker. Sebastian's Mr. Coffee, a sad looking $12.99 WalMart special, worked one time, and then spent the rest of its coffee making career sputtering hot water and scalding vapor at him. Kurt's coffee machine looked like a work of art.
Kurt walked back into the house with two newspapers under his arm.
"They were thinking about going to the farmer's market after breakfast, and then the movies later," Kurt said, sitting down at the table. "Does that sound good to you?"
"Will you be there?" Sebastian brought Kurt his coffee and kissed him on the top of the head before sitting in the seat opposite him. Kurt looked bewildered.
"Of course."
"Then I'm in." Sebastian winked, clicking his tongue. Kurt giggled, turning back to the paper he had opened up on the table in front of him. Sebastian peered over the top, noticing it was a paper he hadn't seen before. He lifted the edge to look at the front page.
"I didn't know you got a subscription to the New York Times," Sebastian said.
"I didn't," Kurt said, turning the pages. "It must be some promotional thing. They did that with the L. A. Times for a while, which is asinine considering how far we are from L. A."
Sebastian shrugged.
"We're just as far from New York," he offered.
"Yes," Kurt replied, "but New York has class and sophistication."
Sebastian chuckled.
"Snob," he teased, and Kurt stuck his tongue out petulantly at him.
Sebastian smiled slyly, thinking of how they had the house to themselves for the moment, and all of the things he could do with that beautiful tongue.
Kurt turned the paper over to the back page and smirked.
"Aha," he said, lifting the paper so Sebastian could see a red circle made with Sharpie over the subscription office info on the back. "They give you the paper for free, and make sure you know who to call to order." Kurt looked at the circle more closely and frowned. "This might have been their thousandth paper, though. The circle's a little off."
Kurt flipped the pages, scanning the newspaper with a smile. He missed New York. It seemed like forever since he'd lived there. He had to go back. Maybe Sebastian would agree to accompany him. They do the touristy thing and see the sights. Kurt could show him all the places he used to hang out when he lived there.
Kurt always imagined it would be the height of romance to be proposed to in Central Park.
Kurt sighed unconsciously, scanning a full page ad.
Kurt squinted at a strange red dot in the center of the page. He ran his finger over it experimentally. He turned to the next page. More little red dots seem to bloom. Sebastian saw Kurt's brow furrow as he glanced up at him from over his coffee cup. Kurt stopped reading, following the little red dots from page to page.
"Ugh!" Kurt said. "The Sharpie bled through."
Sebastian watched Kurt inquisitively as he flipped through the pages.
The red ring of dots became darker as they continued through the paper towards the last page. Kurt looked at all the articles the red marker defaced, tsk-ing and shaking his head. Then his face fell. He went pale so quickly, Sebastian thought Kurt might faint. He got up from his chair and circled back behind. Looking over Kurt's shoulder, he saw that the red marker dots had almost perfectly circled an obituary. A familiar face smiled back at them.
"Adam," Kurt whispered, running his finger over the picture. He turned to Sebastian. "That's Adam. Adam Crawford. The guy I told you about. The one who kicked me out of 'Adam's Apples'."
Sebastian lifted the page to read the obituary.
"I know this guy," Sebastian admitted, squinting at the image of the blond man with the smiling face. "I met him at the bar that night I saw you. He had a British accent."
Sebastian decided to leave out the part where he offered to fuck him in the bathroom.
"That's him." Kurt looked shaken. "But, what was he doing out here?"
Sebastian sighed as he handed Kurt back the paper.
"Does it say how he died?" Kurt looked back at the obituary.
"No," Sebastian said softly.
Kurt folded the paper and set it aside, staring at the table top with empty eyes.
"Kurt?" Sebastian knelt in front of him and put a hand on his knee. "Kurt, are you okay?"
Kurt didn't look at him. He didn't answer him for a long time. Sebastian could see Kurt's eyes shining with tears. A thousand emotions played out on Kurt's pale face - sadness, confusion, regret...
"Kurt?"
Kurt's eyes shifted, as if he was seeing something other than the Formica table top. Kurt turned his head, scanning the room with gray eyes, and only then did he seem to notice Sebastian kneeling at his feet.
"What? No...no. I'll be fine." Kurt shook his head slowly, but he didn't look like he had fully returned from wherever his mind had disappeared off to.
"Are you sure?"
Kurt blinked his thoughts away, clearing his head. He forced a smile.
"I'm sure." Kurt waved a hand, pushing the subject aside. "It...It was just a shock... seeing that. That's all."
They continued drinking their coffee in silence. Kurt didn't completely recover after reading the obituary in the paper. He didn't open the other paper. He didn't finish reading the first one. Sebastian watched Kurt take the folded paper and carry it upstairs. Sebastian didn't follow. He knew that Kurt needed a moment to process this information more fully. Sebastian heard one of the doors upstairs unlock, and knew that Adam had found a place with the rest of Kurt's ghosts.
Sebastian sighed. He wanted to help Kurt get through this, but he still kept so many secrets. Sebastian couldn't shake the feeling that there was something about Kurt's relationship with Adam that Kurt wasn't telling him. He hoped that when Madeline returned, she would be able to snap Kurt out of his funk.
Justice and Madeline returned with several bags of groceries, and overly bright, somewhat sheepish smiles. Sebastian raised an eyebrow at Justice, who simply shrugged in response. Sebastian bit his lip and shook his head when Justice blushed. His expression reminded Sebastian of what he and Kurt were doing before that emaciated asshole disturbed their new found peace.
Sebastian watched Kurt as he moved around the kitchen, smiling and humming as he mixed crepe batter and teased Madeline about the obvious hickey she had done a hideous job of trying to hide. Kurt gave all the outward appearances of being completely fine, looking like he hadn't been shaking like a scared child just an hour before, but Sebastian could tell that something about Kurt wasn't quite right. He noticed as Kurt fidgeted uncharacteristically with the spatula while he waited to flip the crepes; how his eyes darted left and right, almost imperceptibly, when a car passed by outside, or when someone knocked on one of the neighbors' doors. Kurt tapped his toe of his foot in a rather bizarre pattern, and licked his lips nervously.
Kurt startled expectantly nearly every five minutes, his eyes bouncing from the front door to the back door, almost as if he were expecting someone to burst through any minute.
Sebastian wondered if this was how Kurt behaved, living with the monster that abused him. Was this how he hid the pain from his family and friends, with this admirable ability to plaster a smile on his face, even if inside he was screaming? How he deflected attention from himself to focus on everyone else around him? People around him would see him as being generous with compliments, when in reality he was terrified of someone discovering his secret.
Sebastian didn't let on that he saw any of this. He smiled back at Kurt, held his hand, rubbed the nape of his neck, anything to make him feel loved and safe. Whenever he could steal a moment, he would look deep into Kurt's eyes, letting him know that he wasn't alone, that there was no way Sebastian would let Kurt face danger by himself. Any faceless menace that tried to get to Kurt would have to go through Sebastian first, no matter what that meant.
The morning blossomed into a beautiful spring afternoon. The clear sky stretched out endlessly above them as they walked, the sun warming their skin, the cool breeze just enough to make light jackets and sweaters necessary. It was Sebastian's favorite kind of day; the type he breathed in deeply and held onto with both hands, living every moment to its fullest. Kurt, trapped in the fog of his own thoughts, didn't seem to notice. He talked and laughed along with them, but his eyes stared open and empty, fixed on some point always just beyond the others' reach - over Sebastian's shoulder or past Madeline's head. As the day wore on, and Kurt became more and more on edge, Sebastian began to worry. Justice and Madeline, originally sure that Kurt was just a bit over tired, began to catch on.
They decided to catch an afternoon showing of a rom-com that Kurt had mentioned wanting to see, in the hopes of lifting his spirits. Sebastian refused to leave Kurt's side, keeping a hand on his boyfriend at all times. When they entered the darkened theater, Kurt's eyes swept over the seats, seeking out and trying to identify the few other people in the room. Sebastian felt Kurt stiffen, squeezing his hand until his body shook.
"It's okay," Sebastian cooed in Kurt's ear, putting his hands on Kurt's shoulders and massaging gently. "It's alright. No one here's going to hurt you, gorgeous."
Kurt's head snapped to face Sebastian, eyes wide with panic. Justice motioned to the back of the theater where the entire row of seats were unoccupied.
Sebastian led Kurt through the seats to the center of the row. Madeline and Justice occupied the seats closer to the end. With the other end of the row blocked by a wall, the four of them managed to monopolize the whole row.
The movie dragged for Sebastian. It wasn't the kind of thing he would ever go see on his own. His mind wasn't on the movie, anyway. All he could think of was Kurt, sitting next to him, staring at the screen, unblinking, unmoving. Kurt wouldn't relax. He sat rim rod straight in his seat, watching the people in the theater more than the people on the screen.
Sebastian ventured a glance over at Justice and Madeline. Justice had his muscular arm draped over his petite girlfriend, keeping her locked against him as he kissed her gently. Sebastian tried not to stare, but he couldn't help watching Justice as he traced soft shapes over Madeline's collar bone with his fingertips, his free hand rubbing slowly up the length of her leg, just barely brushing her sex with his fingers before his hand made the return trip to her knee. She trembled slightly with every pass.
It was the expression on Justice's face – his knit brow, his peculiar frown as he brushed his lips against hers, the very faint trace of a single tear stain on his cheek – that drew Sebastian to stare. A strange pang hit Sebastian in the chest; a shard of icy cold that pierced his blood and spread over his body.
Justice – strong, infallible, indestructible Justice – had been scared. It wasn't just Kurt's life on the line this morning. He hadn't been the only one in danger. Madeline was locked in the house with him. If anything had happened to Kurt, Sebastian would have been destroyed.
Justice felt the same way about Madeline.
Only then did Sebastian realize the gravity of their friendship with this unlikely couple. He would have to think of some way to repay them for everything they had done.
Sebastian turned back to Kurt, putting his arm around his shoulder, his heart breaking in two when Kurt flinched. Sebastian leaned into Kurt, pressing his lips chastely against his skin, kissing a path up Kurt's neck.
"Kurt," Sebastian whispered. "It's me...I'm here with you, gorgeous. Please, come back to me..."
Sebastian saw Kurt's cheek twitch. He wondered if Kurt even heard him. Where was he right now? What was happening to him?
Sebastian continued kissing up Kurt's jaw, journeying along to Kurt's ear.
Kurt looked petrified. He didn't move to look at Sebastian, didn't acknowledge his sweet touches.
He looked like he wanted to run.
"Kurt…please… I want to help you."
Nothing.
"I love you, gorgeous. Please…"
Sebastian dropped his head to Kurt's shoulder. He finally responded, whimpering pitifully. His jaw clenched. His eyes darted from left to right, and then back to the screen.
Sebastian ran his fingers from Kurt's knee to his thigh, slowly, raking his nails over Kurt's jeans, back and forth, over and over.
Sebastian wanted Kurt to melt, wanted to break down these sheer walls that seemed to always find a way of rebuilding themselves.
"We're going to face this thing together," Sebastian whispered, licking up Kurt's neck slowly.
Sebastian looked over Kurt's body, watching his muscles start to slacken, his back bow just a bit. Sebastian bit his lip and moved his hand over the half-hard bulge in Kurt's jeans. His hand gently palmed Kurt's cock.
Kurt whimpered again, this time a little less pained and a little more like pleasure, his eyelids fluttering closed.
"I promise you, Kurt. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."
Kurt finally relaxed, sitting further back in his seat, opening his legs just a little to give Sebastian better access. Sebastian heard Kurt moan quietly, raising his hips a bit to chase the warmth of Sebastian's palm. He smiled.
"There you are, gorgeous," Sebastian said, returning to the task of kissing over Kurt's delicate lips. "I was afraid you might be gone for good."
Kurt shook his head.
"Not when I have you to lead me out of the dark," Kurt whispered.
Sebastian kissed Kurt gently, explored his mouth deeply, moving over him to shield him from view as he continued to move his hand in soft circles over Kurt's growing erection. Sebastian could feel Kurt tremble, just a slight quiver of his body when Sebastian touched him. Kurt couldn't stop kissing Sebastian as he touched him, didn't want to be far from him, and even an inch away seemed too far. Kurt wrapped his arms around Sebastian, keeping their bodies locked together as best he could with the arm rest between them. Sebastian was tempted to just kneel on the theater floor, but he didn't want to draw attention to what they were doing. Sebastian swallowed Kurt's moans as he felt him getting close. When Kurt's hips began to stutter and he knew Kurt was about to cum, he deftly undid the zipper of Kurt's jeans, freeing his throbbing cock, and took him quickly down his throat, swallowing around him when he came. Kurt's eyes went wide, his gaze sweeping the theater, trying to see if anyone noticed the amazingly sexy man with his cock down his throat.
Sebastian swallowed Kurt dry, licking his lips with a devilish smirk after he pulled off and zippered Kurt's jeans back up.
"Sebastian!" Kurt hissed, "Why…"
"Do you know how uncomfortable it would have been, sitting through the rest of the movie with cum in your pants?" Sebastian asked, cutting Kurt off. "As it is, you aren't wearing any underwear…"
Kurt blushed deep crimson as he looked around, trying to see if anyone overheard.
"There's no way you'd be able to concentrate on the rest of the movie after that." Sebastian winked.
"I have no idea what the fuck's going on anyway," Kurt huffed, trying to sound annoyed and failing.
"Oh," Sebastian said, turning back to the screen. "That's easy. That girl there is in love with that guy there…" Sebastian explained, pointing back and forth between characters on the screen. "But, he's in love with that guy in the corner. The one eating the apple and petting the cat?"
Kurt snickered, snorting through his nose in a way Sebastian found adorable.
"That can't be true," Kurt said.
"No, but it would make this shit fest a hell of a lot more interesting if it was." Sebastian stretched his legs, then stood, bending his knees, sore from running earlier. "I'm going to go get some popcorn," he said, stretching his arms over his head. He leaned over Kurt's seat and kissed him on the mouth. "I was going to get some candy," he whispered, "but you're sweet enough for me." Sebastian bit Kurt's lip gently, before heading down the aisle, passing Justice and Madeline who looked down the aisle at Kurt with knowing smiles before returning back to each other's lips.
Sebastian didn't want to impose on Justice. He didn't want to put the one thing Justice loved more than his own life in danger again. He told Justice he would understand if he and Madeline didn't want to spend the night.
Justice looked at Sebastian like he'd just grown a third head, and without a single word spoken, the issue was settled.
They were going to spend another night.
Kurt and Sebastian showered together after dinner. Sebastian started the water, making it hot enough to sting, to burn away the stress from his body. The day weighed heavy on him, and as the water beat down on his skin, over his shoulders, onto his face, it all came to a head, and he sobbed into the spray, biting his lip to keep from making any sound. The tears had entirely washed away when Kurt stepped into the shower. Sebastian turned and trapped Kurt against the tile, claiming his mouth with his own desperate, urgent kisses. Sebastian dominated Kurt, not looking to have sex so much as to just feel connected to him. Sebastian's hands touched every inch of skin he could reach without having to leave the perfect heat of Kurt's mouth.
Kurt, overwhelmed by Sebastian's touch, surrendered to the glorious feeling of his hands sliding over his wet skin, controlling his body. Kisses on his neck turned into sucks that caused marks to form. Hands that started massaging Kurt's back, moved to palm gently over Kurt's ass. A single, torturous finger circled his entrance, dipping in with shallow thrusts. Before Kurt even had time to miss Sebastian's lips on his mouth, he felt incredible warmth - soft and wet - on his aching cock, quickly and effortlessly coaxing him to orgasm.
"Oh, God! Sebastian!" Kurt cried, his fingers gripping at the wet tile, his head tossing from side to side.
Sebastian stood, engulfing his dazed boyfriend in his embrace, kissing him over and over until Kurt melted against him, breathless, reeling from the taste of himself on his boyfriend's tongue.
"Are you sure this is safe?" Kurt panted when Sebastian moved his mouth back to Kurt's neck. "This is how that all started."
"Kurt," Sebastian mumbled against his wet skin, "I will make you cum over and over all night long if that's what you want."
Kurt bit his lip, smiling, forcing down a giggle at how amazing that sounded. He had no doubt that Sebastian could make good on that promise, either.
Then, acting as if the thought had only just occurred to him even though he was more than prepared, he carefully turned Kurt toward the wall, kissing over his shoulders and up his neck as he slipped on a condom and pressed gently against Kurt's entrance.
"Sebastian!" Kurt squealed.
"Tell me you want me," Sebastian whispered as he slowly entered Kurt.
"Wh-what?" Kurt turned his head to look at his boyfriend, but Sebastian caught Kurt's lips with his, trapping them with kiss after kiss.
"Tell me you want me," Sebastian repeated.
Kurt's eyelids fluttered as Sebastian moved.
"I want you, Sebastian," Kurt said, his voice low and wanton.
"Tell me you love me." Sebastian's voice broke a little. Kurt's heart melted.
"I love you, Sebastian."
Kurt's soft voice was a balm over the jagged wounds that seemed to form finger-like cracks in Sebastian's torn psyche.
Sebastian moved fully inside Kurt, wrapping his arms around his torso as he moved, keeping them pressed together as Kurt braced himself against the cool tile wall.
Sebastian wanted to bare his soul, to tell Kurt about all his fears, how his world would have ended if anything had happened to Kurt, how he would never have forgiven himself…how his life would have been over.
He couldn't confess all those things. He didn't want to scare Kurt. He needed to be strong. He needed to make Kurt feel protected.
Weakness, for Sebastian, was not an option.
Kurt moaned, content to be locked safely in Sebastian's arms. He couldn't help but feel that Sebastian was holding back, keeping something important from him, but he didn't want to tarnish this intimate moment by asking.
"So beautiful," Sebastian muttered against Kurt's skin, his eyes squeezed shut, head resting on Kurt's shoulder. "So amazing. I love you Kurt…I love you so much…"
Kurt allowed Sebastian to take him, knowing that Sebastian had given him pleasure without receiving any in return. Kurt never imagined he would come again, harder this time, folding almost in half with the intensity of Sebastian's muscular body pressing against him, his cock sliding in him perfectly over and over again. He felt Sebastian's hips shudder against his, felt Sebastian cover his shoulders in urgent, open-mouthed kisses, heard him make a sound low in his throat that was both exquisitely animal and completely male.
Sebastian groaned when he withdrew from Kurt's beautiful body, tying off the condom and tossing it out of the shower and into the trash. He held Kurt as he washed him, pampering him carefully the way Kurt often did for him, memorizing this moment of sanctity and peace to replay during those times when the stress got too much to bear.
Sebastian melted into Kurt's bed, becoming one with the Egyptian cotton sheets and the goose down comforter, sighing as his head hit the cool pillow, which smelled overwhelmingly like his beloved Kurt. He heard his phone buzz. He reached a tired hand beneath his pillow and pulled it out to look at the message on the screen.
From: Richard
Sent you something in the mail. It should be at your boyfriend's house in a few days. Let me know when you get it. Don't say no.
Sebastian read the message several times, confused by the vague wording, but smiled at the thought of having this relationship with his brother. Kurt padded in, looking dazed but satisfied, wearing those sinful green satin pants, the sated expression on Kurt's face bringing a smirk to Sebastian's face.
Sebastian loved how cocky he felt around Kurt, how self-assured. Every time Kurt slipped into his arms, he knew he could have him without reservation, kiss him, touch him, make love to him, and every whimper from Kurt's lips made Sebastian feel more and more like a man.
He needed that, more than ever.
He needed it now.
Sebastian kissed Kurt's neck, holding him and rocking him gently.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay tomorrow?" Sebastian asked, whispering against Kurt's neck as he kissed him gently. "Do you want me to call in sick?"
Kurt thought about that idea for a second. In reality, he wanted Sebastian to quit, stay home all day, every day with him. Sebastian could take pictures while Kurt worked in the garden, tending his tomatoes. Time could roll along slowly around them, wrapping them up in their own dreams of being together. They could make love in the afternoon with the sunlight streaming in through the window, bathing their skin, uncovered, unafraid.
Kurt shook the thought away, not knowing if that would even be appealing to Sebastian, but also knowing he was being childish and clingy, and didn't want to suffocate the good thing he had with Sebastian over his stupid insecurities.
"I'll be fine," Kurt reassured him. "I just had...a bad day. I'm sorry if I ruined everybody's Sunday."
"Kurt," Sebastian gazed into Kurt's blue eyes, "even a bad day with you is a good day."
Kurt ducked his head, resting his ear against Sebastian's chest to hear his heart beating. Sometimes he had to do it just to remind himself that Sebastian really existed, flesh and blood, and all his.