Shooting the Breeze

Ch. 5: Girls (and Boys) on Film

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Glee

Authors Note: This chapter mainly deals with the three main characters dealing with their feelings. Nothing is really settled by the end though some of them admit to feelings that they didn't want to before.

Ryder was having a terrible day. Blaine had called him nonstop over the weekend trying to apologize. It made him feel nice that Blaine was trying so hard, but it also pissed him off. Why couldn't Blaine have put this much effort into him while they were actually together? It was making Ryder feel torn up inside. He was so mad and hurt by what Blaine had done, but he also loved him.

That's what he was going to tell Blaine through the song he had prepared. It was all about how he thought he might be falling in love with the older boy. He was so confused. He wanted to forget everything and just get over this hurt feeling already. So he could just go back to being happy with Blaine. That was without even adding Sam to the problem.

Sam had been so good to him. He was always there to help when he needed him. Whether it was help with his reading or distracting him from that small voice that told him he wasn't good enough for anyone. He could always make him laugh with his silly impersonations; Ryder personally loved his Bane impression. Lately when Sam was around Ryder found himself paying way too much time focused on his lips. Not because they were so big and looked so soft. It was more about how beautiful his smile was. Every time he saw it, it made a familiar warmth fill his chest that he usually associated with Blaine's warm embrace.

"Hey I heard you broke up with Blaine." Sam said making Ryder look up from his locker. Ryder was suddenly filled with a feeling of dread. Something told him this conversation was going to make his feelings even more of a mess.

"Yeah I did."

"How did he take it?" Sam asked leaning next to Ryder.

"As good as expected, I know that he deserved it but it broke my heart to hurt him that much." Ryder said feeling miserable.

"Hey, he needs to learn that you can't play with people's emotions like that." Sam said. Ryder watched as Sam's face became harder.

"I thought he was your friend." Ryder said.

"I used to think he was, but it's been a long time since he acted like it. Even before Kurt came around and Blaine started acting like even more of a pod person." Sam said his face becoming colder.

"What do you mean?" Ryder asked deciding to focus on Sam and Blaine's friendship instead of the mess of emotions that had been plaguing him since the not wedding.

"It's just that he's stopped hanging out with me. I mean I know he had a new relationship and I was expecting to hang out with him less, but he didn't even have time to talk in the hallways. When we were actually forced to spend time with each other like student council he made me feel stupid and a burden." Sam said with a sigh. The closer Ryder looked he could see the pain hidden behind that mask of indifference. He knew that look; he had been wearing it so often these days. Was it normal for a friend to be so hurt when a friend didn't have time to hang out with them? Yeah it was, but something told him this was more than that. Did Sam love Blaine too?

"I'm sorry, maybe you should talk to Blaine, explain how he's been making you feel." Ryder told Sam.

"I don't think I'm ready to make up with him yet. I know you're most likely right and that I should talk to him before it ruins our friendship but I'm just not ready." Sam said with a sad shake of his head.

"Enough of this depressing crap, want to come over to my house after school and watch the Avengers again?" Sam asked trying to smile like normal, though Ryder could see the hope in his eyes. It made something clench in pain inside of him.

"I'm not over Blaine yet. I need some time to get over him before I can move on. I think Blaine wasn't ready for love when we started to date. I don't want to do the same thing to you." Ryder said watching Sam's smile fall.

"I mean I do have feelings for you and I want to see what could happen with us. It's just that I'm not ready for anything right now. Can we just be friends right now?" Ryder asked as his vision blurred. He didn't know what he would do if Sam told him that he couldn't wait for him. He couldn't take another hit like that right now.

"Of course, no matter what I'm your friend. I'm not giving up though. I'll show you that I'm not going to hurt you like he did." Sam said with a smile. It wasn't as bright as some of his others but it made the pain in his chest lessen a little. He didn't know what to make of Sam's statement but at least he wouldn't lose one of his friends.

"Thanks." Ryder said with a watery smile.

"No problem, you're my bro I would do anything for you." Sam said with a serious expression.

"Come on we're going to be late for class." Ryder said closing his locker.

Blaine sat in his seat listening as the other guys threw out theories for their mash up number. He was only paying half attention to them. He couldn't stop staring at Ryder. His eyes looked a little red and he was hunched over. Blaine knew that he had hurt Ryder, but he was willing to do anything to make it up to him. He had spent all that time complaining about how Kurt had ignored him and he turned around and did the same thing to Ryder.

"I think we should honor the brilliance that is Tom Cruise." Artie spoke up.

"I don't know about that. Isn't he kind of a nut job?" Jake asked.

"Yeah he definitely has a few screws loose up there, but I was thinking of something earlier maybe some of his earlier movies." Artie answered.

"That sounds like a good idea, how about Danger Zone for one of our songs?" Joe asked. Everyone stared at him for a few moments. Blaine had actually forgotten he was there. Great he felt even guiltier than he did before.

"That sounds good but what can we mash up with it?" Jake asked.

"How about Old Time Rock and Roll?" Blaine asked.

"Definitely those two songs will go perfectly together." Sam said with a smile.

"Well, who's going to lead in each song?" Joe asked.

"How about Sam and Blaine, they both have the strongest voices." Ryder said speaking up for the first time. Blaine watched as Ryder sent Sam a look that he didn't understand. Sam sent him back a dirty look and shook his head. Why didn't Sam want the lead? This would be great it was an unwritten rule of Glee club that the leads of the songs were responsible for mashing up the songs. This would be great.

"Sure their voices go well together." Artie said with a smile.

"Well what about the rest of us? Are we going to sing back up for both songs or should we split up?" Jake asked.

"I think we should definitely split up. Three of us will sing Old Time while three of us sing Danger Zone." Artie spoke up.

"Then I think Ryder and Artie should sing with me." Blaine spoke up. Maybe he would be able to show Ryder how sorry he was during practice.

"I think it would be better if Ryder and Jake sang with me." Sam countered. Sam was sending him an angry look. What was up with Sam? He knew that he wanted to try to make things up with Ryder. Couldn't he see that this would give him the perfect opportunity to talk to Ryder?

"Danger Zone is a harder song to sing and I need Ryder and Artie's voices." Blaine spoke up.

"Hey are you saying my voice isn't strong enough?" Joe asked looking kind of offended.

"No I didn't mean it that way."

"What did you mean Blaine?" Sam asked sending him a vicious smile. Blaine couldn't think of anything to say to defend himself.

"You're right Joe's voice is powerful enough for the song. I'm sorry Joe." Blaine said. Joe shrugged and said it was okay.

"Besides I need Ryder and Jake's dancing skills. No offense Joe, Artie." Sam said with a smug smile.

"Naw man its cool." Artie said with a smile. The groups broke off to talk about their parts for the rest of the period. When it was over Ryder and Jake left together and Blaine sped up to catch up with Sam.

"Hey what was with you in there?" Blaine asked as he tried to keep up with his friend.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean why you didn't let Ryder be on my team. That would have been the perfect chance to show him how sorry of I am." Blaine said. Sam abruptly stopped forcing Blaine to flail around to stop himself from running into the taller boy. Sam turned around to face him. He looked pissed.

"You don't deserve it." Sam growled.

"What?"

"You don't deserve the chance. You treated him like shit for days before the wedding. Left him hanging when he was going to give you your Valentines gift to hang out with Kurt, then you even abandoned him so you can fawn over your ex-boyfriend. As if Kurt would ever take you back. You cheated on him. That's not something you forget." Sam practically yelled causing some of the students around them to stare.

"Dude, that was harsh. I thought you were supposed to be on my side. You're my friend." Blaine said feeling crushed at his friend's words.

"So now I'm suddenly your friend."

"Of course you are." Blaine whispered.

"Really cause it didn't feel like you were my friend when you blew me off for days before the wedding or didn't have enough time to even say hi in the hallways. It didn't feel like you were my friend when you told me to stop being stupid and be serious for once in Student Council." Sam shouted looking like he was either going to burst into tears or punch Blaine.

"I didn't mean that. I was just frustrated by all the stress I had. I'm sorry I took it out on you. You're my best friend." Blaine said desperately.

"Yeah right, you have a great way of showing the people special to you that you care for them. You don't deserve my friendship and you definitely don't deserve Ryder's forgiveness. Do us all a favor and get over yourself." He growled before storming away from Blaine.

Blaine felt his eyes water as he fought back the tears that were trying to escape. He looked around at the stunned faces of the students around him. He turned and fled down the hall. How could he have messed thing up so badly? This whole year had been one disaster after another. He felt like he was trapped in a nightmare that would never end. He had been trying so hard to do the right thing, yet every time his good intentions were not enough.

He had sent Kurt to New York because he was slowly dying here without his passion to give him life. That had blown up when Kurt had started ignoring him, which led him to that stupid affair. Blaine knew he was needy. Ever since he was a child he had been starved for attention. He could count on his fingers how many times he had seen his parents when he was a kid. Cooper had tried his best to take care of him but he was a kid himself. Ever since then he had this pathological need to be the center of attention and have affection showered onto him.

Kurt had been the first person to do that. For brief moments when he was alone with Kurt he had felt like he was real and didn't have to shout for the attention that he desperately craved.

With Ryder he had felt for the first time like he didn't have to fight for the attention, like he didn't have to go out of his way to remind Ryder that Blaine was there and that he was real and not part of the scenery. He could just be himself with him. It had come so naturally that he hadn't known what he had until it was gone. He was so ignorant of what he had that when Kurt had showed up he had fallen into his old routine of doing everything he could to make him happy. Searching for that one moment were Kurt would look at him and everything would be alright, He was a real boy and not some ghost that faded into the back ground.

Now he was realizing that Ryder wasn't the only person that had made him feel real…made him feel alive. Sam had done it so effortlessly that he hadn't even had an idea that it was happening like he had with Ryder. These two men had given him everything he had wanted in life and he had thrown it away with the garbage. He didn't know how he was going to do it or if it was even possible but he was going to win them back no matter what.

Jake watched as Ryder practically fled the choir room. He didn't know what was going on with him. He knew that Ryder had broken up with Blaine after the wedding and that Blaine had been a complete douche, but he had no idea what was going on with Sam. He needed to do something. Ryder had been such a good friend to him and he needed to do something to make things better.

"Hey dude what's going on with you?" Jake asked when he found Ryder sitting by himself in the auditorium. Ryder mumbled something and didn't look at him.

"Look I know something's wrong. You've been there for me through all my drama with Marley. Let me help you for once." Jake said sitting next to Ryder.

"I'm just so confused." Ryder said. Jake sat next to him letting Ryder gather his thoughts.

"I am so mad at Blaine that I could punch him yet at the same time I can see how sorry he is. I can tell he didn't mean to hurt me and that he made a mistake. Why can't I get over this? Forget everything and just forgive him. All I want to do is take him in my arms and tell him it's alright, but there's something inside of me that won't let me forget that he did those things to me. A voice that keeps telling me I shouldn't forget what he did that he will just do it to me again if I forgive him." Ryder whispered.

"Maybe you should do both." Jake said before he could stop himself.

"What?"

"I mean you love him and want to be with him but you can't forget what he put you through right? So maybe you shouldn't forget. Maybe you shouldn't forgive just yet. Make him work for your trust. Make him prove that he cares for you. Just let him know there's a chance even if it is a small one. Look I'm not telling you to forgive him but if you love him and don't want to lose him you have to let him know that it's not impossible to get over this." Jake said.

"I do love him and the thought that this is over makes something inside of me is dying, but how can I possibly forgive him?" Ryder asked looking at Jake like he had all the answers. Jake suddenly wished that he wasn't here alone that Marley was here to give him her silent support.

"With baby steps, try seeing if the two of you can even be friends. If you can, maybe someday you'll be good enough to become more."

"Thanks Jake that really helped me." Ryder said with a small smile.

"So what's going on with you and Sam?" Jake asked and watched as the smile disappeared. Ryder let out a huge sigh and let his head fall back against his chair.

"You had to remind me of that. I finally get a plan for one of my problems and you remind me about my other one." Ryder whined.

"What are you talking about? How is Sam a problem?" Jake asked in confusion.

"He kind of has a crush on me?"

"Wait I thought Sam was straight!" Jake practically shouted.

"I did too but lately he's been acting real nice to me. He was there for me at the wedding when Blaine was ignoring me. It was real sweet I thought he was just being a real good friend but then he kissed me." Ryder told him.

"Wow the weirdest shit happens to you."

"Thanks for that. It was really helpful." Ryder said sarcastically.

"Dude calm down, give me a moment to take this in. So not only do you have an ex-boyfriend who's practically throwing himself at your feet for forgiveness you also have a friend that's trying to get into your pants." Jake said. Ryder nodded at him looking miserable.

"This would be a terrible time to tell you that those pants make your ass look amazing wouldn't it." Jake said with a huge smile. He laughed as Ryder let out an indignant shout and smack him on the arm.

"I'm joking! I'm joking!" Jake said through his laughter as he tried to dodge more of Ryder's swings.

"But seriously I think the question here is how do you feel about Sam?" Jake asked after he was able to control his laughter.

"I don't know I think I might be falling for him too. Is it possible to love more than one person?" Ryder asked.

"Dude of course it is. Look some people might disagree and say that love can only be shared between a couple, but the way I see it the heart is big enough to love more than just one person. If you love them both than you love them both, there's nothing wrong with that." Jake said throwing his arm over his friends shoulder.

"I do love them both. What am I going to do?" Ryder asked looking up at his friend. Jake once again felt like he was way out of his league with this supporting crap. How could Ryder trust him so much? A few months ago they had been fighting over a girl. Now Jake was helping Ryder with his boy problems. Someone up there had a sick sense of humor.

"I think you should figure out what you want. Do you want to get back together with Blaine or do you want to try your hand at a relationship with Sam. Or maybe you even want to have them both. Then once you know that we can figure out what your next step is. Take your time though. You don't have to make your choice right now. Baby steps, dude, baby steps." Jake said with a reassuring smile.

"We?" Ryder asked.

"Of course Ryder, you're my bro I'm here for you."

"Thanks man you've really helped." Ryder said giving him a real smile instead of one of those pathetic ones from earlier.

"Whatever dude, I just did that because I wanted your help." Jake said standing up.

"With what?" Ryder asked as he stood up to join his friend.

"Well, Marley might have found out that none of her Valentine's gifts was actually my idea. Sure she said that it was alright, but you know how girls are. She's most likely crying herself to sleep in misery that her boyfriend is the least romantic person in the world." Jake sighed as he started walking out of the auditorium.

"So what do you need my help with?"

"Well, I was thinking I would sing Unchained Melody to her. It's from her favorite movie so it fits this week's assignment." Jake said.

"So what you want me to help you practice?"

"Nah man, the song goes pretty high. I'm pretty sure I can hit it but I would feel more comfortable if my best friend sang harmony with me." Jake said shrugging his shoulder.

"Sure dude I'll be honored to help you sweep Marley off her feet." Ryder said with one of his old goofy smiles. Jake had been planning to sing it to Marley by himself in one of the class rooms. It was going to be all romantic with pots and shit, but this was just as good. Public displays of affection were romantic too. Girls loved when a guy showed his vulnerable side in front of others. Besides maybe if Ryder was concentrating on Jake's romance problem he would stop worrying about his crazy threesome problems.

Blaine sat next to Tina as the glee club meeting started. Mr. Schue was blabbering on about how into this week's assignment everyone was. He went on like this for a few minutes before saying that Jake had prepared a song for them. Great he was most likely going to sing a romance song to Marley. Usually he wouldn't have minded since Marley and Jake were the cutest things ever. He was just sick and tired of Romance. He was tired of feeling like the worst person ever and he was tired of this constant pain around his heart.

Jake stood up and walked to the front of the class.

"I would like to dedicate this to my beautiful girlfriend. It's from her favorite movie." Jake said.

"The Hunger Games?" Marley asked in excitement.

"Uh…her second favorite movie." Jake said with a small wince. Marley just smiled her eyes practically shining with affection. Like Blaine said cutest thing since kitty videos.

"Helping me with this wonderful performance is my main man Ryder." Jake said pointing at his best friend as he joined him in front of the class. Blaine's heart sped up as he watched Ryder stand there in front of him. The music started and Blaine felt his pulse jump even higher. This was one of the most romantic songs ever and he was going to have to hear Ryder sing it. Jake started the song. It was beautiful and breathe taking.

When Ryder joined in his heart gave another jump. If this kept happening he would seriously have to think about going to the doctor. Ryder was staring into his eyes. Was this really happening? Was Ryder really staring at him while he sang this song? Did this mean there was a chance that Ryder could forgive him?

Suddenly Ryder tore his eyes away from Blaine and turned his sight to someone else. He was staring at Sam. What the hell was going on? Ryder was staring at Sam with the same emotion filling his eyes as when he was looking at Blaine. Was Sam giving Ryder a loving look? No that couldn't be right Sam wasn't gay. He knew that from experience. He had studied him almost religiously when he had been crushing on the blonde man. No that was definitely the face of someone smitten.

Oh My God! SAM WAS IN LOVE WITH RYDER!

Authors Note 2: Before anyone says that Ryder has forgiven Blaine way to easily I want to point out that he hasn't forgiven him. He has just admitted that he is still in love with him even though he is pissed and hurt.

Next Chapter: Blaine and Sam fight for Ryder's affection in Fued.