A/N: This is a continuation of the previous chapter. Warnings for anxiety.
"Now, this is what I'm talking about!" Madeline crowed as they approached the real Karaoke Palace, a night club with all the loud hip-hop dance music and gaudy neon lights of Vegas, wrapped up in beautiful hipsters and alcohol. Kurt eyed several out and proud gay couples playing obscene tonsil hockey to the displeasure of no one, and breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't imagine he and Sebastian would get harassed here. Maybe Sebastian would ask him to dance.
They clung to each other like lichen as they fought their way through the crowd, trying to make it to the very back where the karaoke bar was situated, far away from the thumping bass of the dance music at the front.
Madeline, Kurt realized, had many hidden talents. Singing, however, was definitely not one of them. A couple of people whispered behind their hands, but not a single person in the whole place would dare jeer at her, though, as long as Justice stood, so obviously mooning over her in the front row.
"Are you going to sing?" Kurt whispered to Sebastian, busy looking through the song book.
"I don't know." Sebastian took another sip if his rum and coke. "I'd definitely sing if you sang with me."
Kurt opened his mouth, then closed it, shaking his head.
"I couldn't," he said finally. "It's been too long. I really haven't sung since…well, I don't even sing in the shower."
Sebastian looked up. Kurt had turned his head to watch Madeline. She squinted her eyes, trying hard to reach a particularly high note. Sebastian was impressed that Kurt didn't even wince when the feedback from the microphone bounced obnoxiously around the room. He looked back down at the book and noticed the song his finger had stopped on.
It was perfect.
"Uh, actually I think I might sing something, gorgeous." Sebastian took a slip of paper from the back of the book, and wrote his name on it. Then, cupping his hand to cover his handwriting, he scrawled down the number of the song he chose. Kurt tried to look past Sebastian's hand, but Sebastian covered the paper, palming it off the table.
"Nu-uh-uh," Sebastian said, kissing Kurt on the cheek. "No peeking, gorgeous."
Madeline sang three more songs before the DJ got to Sebastian's name. Sebastian grinned, pecking Kurt on the forehead before jetting off to the stage. Kurt turned in his chair to watch him. Madeline sat perched in Justice's lap with her arms wrapped around his neck.
"Hello," Sebastian said experimentally into the microphone. "My name is Sebastian, and I would like to sing a song for my boyfriend, Kurt."
Sebastian pointed at Kurt, winking. Every head in the room turned to look. Madeline made sure to point obnoxiously in Kurt's direction in case people in the room didn't know who Sebastian meant. Kurt sat up straight, but ducked his head a bit to cool his reddening cheeks.
The music started, and even though the tinny, fake, karaoke version didn't hold a candle to the real Keane version, Kurt recognized the song immediately, smiling wistfully as Sebastian sang, his rich tenor voice reaching Kurt, wrapping around him like an embrace.
" I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete…"
Kurt remembered immediately, and with a little regret, the first time someone serenaded him with this song. His mind conjured the image of a young Blaine, so beautiful in his youth, singing to Kurt when he had just begun to realize how very much he loved him. Little did he realize that love wouldn't be enough to save them, to save him, or to set things right.
Kurt wondered if he should tell Sebastian about it.
"Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin…"
No. It didn't matter. The same song, the same words, yes, but they meant very different things. Teenage Kurt, full of heat and passion and the thrill of a budding romance, had a fairy tale fantasy of how life with Blaine would turn out. An older, experienced, more mature Kurt, with a better idea of how the world worked and how cruel it could treat you, had a much different fantasy.
The amazing and wonderful part, Kurt realized, is that his grown up fairy tale still had all the heat and passion of the earlier version, still full of romance, and this time, a love that had a better chance of standing all the tests that time could throw at them.
"And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?"
A minute with Sebastian, forever with Sebastian, in his little townhouse or in some far off city, hundreds or thousands of miles away from here – it all sounded the same. It sounded perfect. It sounded safe. It sounded like a future.
It sounded like happily ever after.
"This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?"
Not the end, Kurt thought. Only the beginning.
The crowd applauded, and not the polite-thank-God-it's-over applause Madeline had received, but a genuine, heartfelt applause that included some people cheering, some people whistling, and grew louder, with people standing to their feet when Kurt surged up into Sebastian's arms and kissed him.
Kurt kissed him, and kissed him, he couldn't stop kissing him. Sebastian chuckled when he thought Kurt would break away, but he chased his mouth and caught his lips again.
"I take it you liked that," Sebastian panted, chuckling against Kurt's bruised lips.
"That was perfect," Kurt whispered.
"Of course it was." Sebastian beamed. "I sang it for you, gorgeous."
The two men attacked each other's mouths again, lost to the world, not paying any attention when Justice discreetly pushed Sebastian down into his chair, Sebastian only having enough presence of mind to pull Kurt into his lap so their lips wouldn't need to part.
Kurt never went up to sing, and Sebastian didn't sing again, opting instead to sit together and devour each other, which gave Madeline the freedom to mutilate more songs unchallenged. This started a slow migration of the crowd to the forward section of the club. The hour got late, and Madeline realized her only audience was Justice.
Kurt and Sebastian were looking forward to moving their party back home.
At midnight the couples made the unspoken mutual decision to head back to Kurt's house.
High from singing, and kissing, and a last minute dance as they left the club, the four friends talked, laughed, and joked the whole ride home.
That's probably why no one noticed right away.
A streetlight out…no big deal. Two might be a little suspicious, especially on opposite sides of the street. Even the five dark lights didn't seem overwhelmingly suspicious.
An inexplicable chill hit Sebastian at the sixth broken light. His eyes swept the street ahead, so he saw it first. His green eyes staring at the darkened house, and out front…his mouth went dry.
"Justice," Sebastian said quietly, "turn the car around."
"What?" Justice asked, cheeks red from laughing."
"Turn the car around."
The intense calm of Sebastian's voice made everyone quiet immediately. Kurt saw the direction of Sebastian's stare before his eyes had the chance to flick away. Kurt broke from his embrace and looked towards his house. As the car approached the iron fence slowly, gate swinging on its hinges, the full force of the destruction hit Kurt.
He gasped – a small, choked off sound, like the mewling of a dying animal.
The car hadn't stopped completely before Kurt leapt out.
Kurt walked toward the house, his legs barely moving, steps slow, eyes haunted, staring dream like.
His garden, his beautiful garden, every inch of it, completely destroyed.
The flowers, the vegetables, the small green house – all demolished.
Kurt quickly glanced once over his untouched house, not able to find relief in the fact that the destruction stopped at the garden.
Kurt's whole body began to shake. He knelt down slowly, reaching out a trembling hand to stroke the petal of the only intact dahlia left.
"I don't understand," Madeline said quietly. "What about the motion sensor lights? The alarms? Isn't the system supposed to text you in case of an attempted break in? I mean, it doesn't look like the police were here at all."
"They weren't," Justice replied, holding Madeline protectively against him, looking around at the darkened street. "It looks like the power went out. A cut in the power would have disabled the alarm."
"But, it looks like the power went out on the far side of the street," Sebastian offered. "I don't see…"
"I can't stay here," Kurt whimpered over and over. "I just can't."
Sebastian gathered Kurt's body up in his arms, all other thoughts forgotten.
"That's okay." Sebastian rubbed Kurt's back soothingly. His gaze traveled down the block, searching for squinting blue eyes, ears straining to hear shuffling footsteps. "That's okay, gorgeous. We don't have to stay here if you don't want to."
"But…" Kurt's voice trembled, his lower lip quivering. "I don't…"
"I'll take you to a hotel," Sebastian continued quickly. "A nice one. Where they burn the sheets after people have sex on them."
Kurt chuckled, the sound dry and sorrowful.
Sebastian took Kurt's arms in his firm and gentle hands, holding him at a short distance to look into his eyes.
"Let me go inside and pack a few things…"
"No!" Kurt screeched, panicked blue eyes searching the dark. "What if he's in there?"
Sebastian sighed, looking from Justice to Madeline, silently asking for help, but he could see both of them siding with Kurt, longing to get him away from here and to a place of safety.
"Alright," Sebastian agreed. "Alright. We'll go right now."
Justice took a moment to check the perimeter, jiggling the front door knob, and then doing the same to the back to make sure that both doors were still locked shut. Satisfied that the house was still shut up tight, the group swiftly made their way back to the car, Sebastian shutting the gate behind them. They piled into the car quickly, and without another look back, Justice drove them away.
Even for a man with a healthy revulsion of hotels, Kurt stared, slack jawed with disbelief. He had stayed at more than a few no-tell motels in the past. He wouldn't necessarily call himself a babe in the woods, but the hotel Sebastian took them to could have rivaled any lavish mansion he had seen in all of New York.
God, how he missed New York.
Kurt felt like he'd stepped into a show on The Travel Channel. He wanted to soak it all in, play the tourist and gawk endlessly at the crystal chandeliers, the bellboys in their impeccable uniforms, the multitudes of orchids on every possible surface, the gold gilding on every piece of molding, but he couldn't. Feeling bitter and sour, he went over the detestable things that had happened that night, festered over every possible thing that had gone wrong, and snapped unnecessarily at Sebastian as if every conceivable misstep they had taken was all his fault.
Sebastian knew, and he took it. He let it roll off his back in the hopes that Kurt would tire of the anger and surrender to a different emotion, even if it involved hours of tears.
Kurt scoffed the moment they entered the suite Sebastian rented.
"Is it really necessary to rent a suite with five separate rooms?" Kurt barked.
Sebastian handed the bellboy a tip, along with a slip of paper for the concierge, requesting the purchase of a few items of clothing brought up to the room, with the expense tagged on to his bill.
"Yes." Sebastian closed and locked the door, taking a moment to peek his head into each room.
"Why?" Kurt asked, sitting on the foot of the bed and yawning.
"Because, I intend on having sex with you in every single one of these rooms…at least twice," Sebastian teased as he checked for a Jacuzzi in the bathroom.
Sebastian winked, sincere affection sparkling in his green eyes. Kurt's knees went weak, but he felt a little annoyed.
"Is everything sex with you?" Kurt sneered, a little too hastily.
"No." Sebastian sat on the bed, turning to look into Kurt's eyes. "Because I don't think of what we do as just sex."
"Then what would you call it?"
"First of all…" Sebastian dropped to his knees in front of Kurt, "it's communicating. When I'm with you, you open up to me. You tell me things about your life, things you might not say if you had a moment to think about the answers."
Kurt averted his eyes, their blue depths exuding the shame he felt. Sebastian was right. Kurt wasn't always forthcoming, especially when he should have been.
Especially about Dave.
"And, it's making love with you," Sebastian continued, using gentle fingers to turn Kurt's gaze back to his own, "every time. And I think it's important right now because you need to forget about all of this…just, put it behind you for a while."
Kurt saw the constant love and support in Sebastian's stare, and he started to crumble from the inside.
"I-it's hard," Kurt choked around a sob. "I don't understand…and I feel so…so lost…"
Sebastian felt Kurt falling into his arms, sliding off the bed onto the floor. Sebastian held him, cradling him in his lap.
"I know what it's like to feel lost," Sebastian confided. "To feel scared…overwhelmed…done…" Sebastian sighed. "I'm not going to tell you to stop." Sebastian carded his fingers soothingly through Kurt's hair, separating the strands, loosening them from the product that held them together. "But maybe, for tonight, you could get lost in me a little," Sebastian pleaded, soft lips brushing gently over Kurt's temple.
Kurt nodded, wiping the traitorous tears from his eyes and cheeks.
"Good," Sebastian whispered, kissing around Kurt's hairline, traveling down his cheeks, catching his fingers for a brief moment before Kurt pulls them away. "You can use me, gorgeous. Use me to forget." Sebastian pressed kisses around Kurt's ear as he spoke, imprinting his skin with promises. Kurt's eyelids fluttered closed, feeling the words imprint on his skin, like a tattoo, crawling beneath, finding a way inside.
"Take me," Sebastian murmured, "fuck me, hit me…whatever you want. Kurt, I love you. I adore you. Be with me." Kurt's body lay like an instrument in Sebastian's hands, and he played him, undressing him slowly, kissing him tenderly. "I would do anything for you." Sebastian fought the sound of broken emotion welling up in his voice. "All you have to do is say the word, Kurt, and I'll do whatever, be whoever…"
Kurt's eyes opened, realizing that Sebastian was pleading with him. He couldn't stand it, couldn't stand the thought that he might be breaking him. Kurt sat up to meet Sebastian's lips, returning his gentle kisses and more, licking gently over the outline of his lips, running long, thin fingers through his chocolate-colored hair. Kurt smiled so Sebastian could feel it in his kiss.
"Take a bath with me?"
Kurt refused to let go of his claim on Sebastian's mouth when he spoke, so Sebastian carried Kurt in his arms as he had so many times before. Sebastian ran the water in the tub, letting the basin fill, while Kurt undressed him. Kurt liked the act of undressing Sebastian. Right now, in this moment, in this life, he was the only one who got the privilege. He did it slowly, almost achingly so. While he did, he took the time to enjoy everything about Sebastian - his breaths becoming short, almost anxious pants as Kurt's fingers worked at the buttons near his neck, the way his eyes followed his every move, the black pupils slowly growing wide, pushing the innocence of the green aside to relay their true intentions, the way his body trembled when Kurt's fingertips barely brushed over his skin. Kurt bit his lip as he stripped the last piece of clothing from Sebastian's body. He smelled like a man, looked like a God, and basically gave Kurt free reign to do whatever he wanted with him.
The power made Kurt heady for a moment as he pondered all the possibilities.
He took Sebastian's hands and pulled him towards the rapidly filling tub. The jets fired, and steam rose in tiny wisps over the churning water.
"We can sit and talk for a little while," Kurt suggested. "Maybe we can take a little time to better understand each other?"
Sebastian nodded, following Kurt to the tub. He knew he would follow Kurt anywhere. That was all he wanted to do.
Sebastian sat first, helping Kurt into the tub after him and sitting him between his legs. Sebastian reached for a washcloth and a bar of soap. He leisurely lathered up the soft white fabric and ran it over Kurt's skin. Kurt leaned his head back on Sebastian's shoulder, sighing as he molded his body against him, reaching behind his back to touch Sebastian beneath the water.
Kurt had offered to talk. Sebastian decided to start with a big question.
"How did your mother die?" he asked.
Sebastian didn't know how Kurt would react. Even as he asked, he half-expected Kurt to shut down.
Kurt didn't flinch, didn't open his eyes or try to leave.
Sebastian realized Kurt had probably answered this question a million times.
"Drunk driver," Kurt said simply. "My mom…she picked me up from school. We were driving home and he ran a stop sign. Hit our car going fifty, right on her side. She died immediately."
Sebastian had to hold on tight to the wash cloth to keep from dropping it. He drew in a deep breath and held it.
"You were in the car?" Sebastian's arms started to wind themselves around Kurt's body unconsciously, stopping their attentions to simply hold him.
Kurt nodded.
"Yeah." Kurt's voice was eerily calm as he recounted the incident. "I was in the back seat on the passenger side. Aside from some scratches from the broken class, I was completely…unharmed."
"Did they ever catch the guy?"
Sebastian hoped and prayed Kurt would say yes.
"No. He got out of the car and ran away on foot. He was driving a stolen car. They never found him."
Sebastian didn't know how to continue on from there, so he didn't. Kurt didn't give him the chance. He pried the washcloth from Sebastian's grip and turned in his arms. Kneeling on the floor of the tub, facing his boyfriend, Kurt began washing down Sebastian's chest, less scrubbing and more feeling his way over his body with cloth in hand.
"What was your first time like?" Kurt asked, his expression both curious and coy.
"My first time what?" Sebastian shook his head a little, acknowledging the change in subject, but unsure what Kurt had asked.
"You said your first time having sex was horrible." Kurt bit his tongue between his teeth at the pause. "Why was it horrible? What was it like?"
Sebastian felt a strange case of emotional whiplash - that Kurt would jump from something like his mom's death to Sebastian's failed attempt at a fuck astounded him slightly. Had he been talking to anyone else, Sebastian would have thought the move too tacky to dignify with an answer, but he knew Kurt was deflecting - taking an uncomfortable, potentially disastrous subject, and turning to something a bit safer, possibly poking fun at Sebastian in the process.
If he only knew.
"I was in high school," Sebastian started, not willing to deny Kurt any part of himself. "I was a freshman, he was a senior. We were on the lacrosse team together. His name was Christian."
Sebastian sighed, moving forward from the edge of the tub. He pulled Kurt into his lap, wrapping Kurt's long legs around his waist. Kurt continued to massage lightly over Sebastian's chest with the cloth as he listened.
"I didn't love him," Sebastian prefaced. "But, I was infatuated with him. He was hot and popular, and I was hooked pretty fast. I was scared, honestly, when he asked me out, because I kind of knew he expected me to sleep with him, and I don't think I was ready."
Kurt's eyes softened, his smirk fading. His hand stopped its motions. Kurt put a finger to Sebastian's lips.
"You don't have to…"
Sebastian took Kurt's hand and kissed it – kissed the palm, kissed the fingertips, kissed over the silvery scar on his wrist, tracing around it with the tip of his tongue, pulling a moan from Kurt's lips.
"We went out to dinner and he asked me if I was a virgin, but I knew he knew. He spent the whole night feeling me up under the table." Sebastian chuckled dryly. "I don't think I ate a bite." Kurt didn't smile, didn't return the chuckle. Sebastian put Kurt's hand back on his chest, moving it around in small circles over his skin until Kurt got the message and continued his massage. Sebastian's eyes followed Kurt's hand. He didn't look back up. "I told him I didn't want to," Sebastian said. "He said he'd let me fuck him so I wouldn't feel taken advantage of, but it didn't matter. I still did." Sebastian swallowed hard. "We were in the back seat of his car. I couldn't get hard, and when I did, it barely lasted a minute before I came." Sebastian shook his head. "He laughed at me. The whole thing was just…just a mess."
Sebastian felt Kurt shiver. He took handfuls of hot water from the tub and poured them over Kurt's shoulders, but Kurt's shivering had little to do with the cold air.
"That was a Friday night. He didn't call me all weekend. On Monday afternoon at practice, I found out the truth, that I was just part of some game. He and a couple of friends were trying to make their way through all the gay guys in school…and some of the straight ones, too."
Kurt gasped. He hadn't meant to.
"Did you tell anyone?" Kurt asked in a voice so quiet he wasn't sure Sebastian could hear.
Sebastian nodded.
"I told my mom." Sebastian met Kurt's eyes, raising a hand to run a finger down Kurt's cheek, smiling reassuringly. "I left out the more…inappropriate details. Made it seem like I had been with a girl, and just…you know…felt pressured…wasn't ready…just wanted her input. But my father overheard. He clapped me on the back like I was some big hero or something, like I had aced all my classes, or won the Nobel Prize."
Sebastian ran his wet fingers through Kurt's hair.
"Kind of dysfunctional, huh?" Sebastian tugged a few strands experimentally, smiling when Kurt trembled, his cock twitching beneath the water.
"And that's why you…"
"Became a slut?" Sebastian finished quickly.
Kurt shook his head.
"No, Sebastian," he said sympathetically. "I wasn't going to say that, I…"
"It's okay, love. Call a spade a spade. I did it. I know. Mounted any man that breathed pretty much. Played Christian's game all through high school. I excelled at it."
Kurt flinched at the sarcasm in Sebastian's voice. Sebastian regretted saying it, moving his hands to Kurt's hips, holding him in place.
"So, your first time sucked," Kurt concluded, nodding once and laughing humorlessly.
"That's the long and short of it," Sebastian agreed. "But, yours was perfect."
Sebastian smiled. It wasn't a bitter statement, just a commentary. A happy thought to hold on to. Kurt's small smile didn't reach his eyes.
"Yeah," he scoffed. "But I paid for that, didn't I."
"Don't say that." Sebastian's comment came out harsher than he meant it to. He took Kurt's face in his hands and held it, staring intently in his eyes. "No one deserves to go through what you went through, do you hear me? No one." He shook Kurt a little with the intensity of his emotion. When he realized what he was doing, how he was holding him, he let go, sinking back in the tub.
"We're both kind of broken, aren't we?" Kurt asked sadly, eyes downcast.
Sebastian nodded in agreement.
"But that's not a bad thing," he said. "Not everyone can be so well put together. Everyone has a couple of chips."
"I just wish I could be stronger for you." Kurt bowed against him, forehead resting on Sebastian's shoulder.
"Hey…" Sebastian ran light fingertips over Kurt's scarred back. Kurt peeked up through slightly damp hair to meet Sebastian's eyes. "We get to be strong for each other."
Kurt's weak smile met Sebastian's.
"Why don't we finish up in here, and get started on that inside," Kurt ventured.
Sebastian's smirk returned, and he raised an eyebrow.
"You up for that?" Sebastian asked, moving up against Kurt's cock, sliding their lengths together.
"Well, you did say something about 'in every room…at least twice'. Or were those just words?" Kurt's fingers danced over Sebastian's chest, dipping below the water, the tip of his index finger circling around the head of Sebastian's swollen erection.
"Kurt…" Sebastian moved closer, eyes trained on Kurt's lips. "I'm not all talk. I never say something if I don't intend on following through."
They took turns bathing each other, wash cloth traveling from hand to hand as they kissed, Sebastian taking a moment to tease Kurt's cock with slow, firm strokes as Kurt massaged shampoo for longer than necessary into Sebastian's hair.
They had barely finished drying, slightly damp and still hot from the bath, when they made their way to the bed.
"Kurt," Sebastian murmured, lifting his boyfriend by the ass and setting him onto the bed. "Don't…freak out…but I…I wanted to do something for you."
Kurt looked down his body to catch Sebastian's eye, intrigued by the suggestion.
Sebastian walked over to a small closet which held a single white robe along with the stacks of towels and washcloths. He pulled the belt from out of the belt loops and carried it over to the bed. He held it out in front of Kurt, running his fingers along its length until he held it taut. Kurt's eyes stared at it, his stomach twisting in knots, wondering why, what could Sebastian possibly have planned.
"I want to go down on you," Sebastian said, his voice low, seductive, "tied up."
Anxiety welled up inside Kurt as he backed up the bed slowly. He didn't know Sebastian had BDSM inclinations. Maybe someday Kurt would be able to perform that way for him, but not now. He wasn't ready.
Sebastian made no move to approach him. Still staring, mouth dropped, heart racing in his chest, he watched in amazement as Sebastian drew his own arms behind his back, tangling the soft belt around his wrists, fumbling to make a knot and pull it tight.
"Would you like to help me, gorgeous?" Sebastian asked, lips working into a grin of pure temptation.
The idea of being tied up repulsed Kurt, but the idea of having Sebastian tied up, giving him pleasure, fascinated and excited him. Kurt crawled closer, wrapped his arms around Sebastian's waist, found the ends of the belt, and pulled them tight. Sebastian hissed when the terry fabric bit into his skin, but his smile never shifted, growing wider at the eager look on Kurt's face.
"Now, lay back, gorgeous, and relax."
Kurt watched Sebastian drop slowly to his knees at the foot of the bed. Kurt lay as far down off the edge as he could.
Sebastian's eyes never left Kurt's face, even as he lowered his head between his legs, stuck out his talented tongue, and licked slowly around Kurt's balls, one at a time, sucking each into his mouth gently. Kurt couldn't tear his eyes away, even when his cheeks flamed red, or when he moaned, uncontrollably, obscenely, into the quiet of the room.
Sebastian's tongue traveled, flicked and roamed, sliding between his cheeks and finding his entrance. Kurt giggled at the feeling of Sebastian nuzzling against him, and reached shaking hands between his legs to spread himself open.
"Thanks, gorgeous," Sebastian murmured, pecking a kiss to the back of Kurt's hand before licking over the pink hole, dipping into the tight entrance, massaging him intimately, opening him up slowly. Kurt fought against his instincts to squirm away. His toes curled into the comforter, his eyes squeezed shut.
"Oh, Kurt," Sebastian muttered against Kurt's skin between licks, the vibrations sending waves through his body, fire pooling in his stomach. "Always so clean…so perfect."
Kurt whined at Sebastian's words, pulling himself apart wider, pushing down further to meet Sebastian's mouth.
"Mmmm," Sebastian hummed, moving away from Kurt's ass, traveling up to his throbbing cock, flushed pink and twitching slightly against his stomach. "You're so hot for me, aren't you?" Sebastian smirked when the twitching of Kurt's cock was the first response he got.
"Yes," Kurt moaned when Sebastian traced along the veins and ridges of his erection with his tongue.
"Yes?" Sebastian teased, mouthing the head lightly, not giving him too much suction or friction to work with. "Do you like my mouth on you, Kurt?"
"Yes, Sebastian." Kurt moaned again, his voice sounding lower than normal and deliciously wrecked.
"Do you want me to take you into my mouth and suck on you?"
"God, yes!" Kurt whimpered, his head thrashing back and forth as Sebastian teased him, tortured him with gentle licks and barely there sucks.
"Say it, Kurt…" Sebastian gave him one long lick up the shaft. "Tell me what you want, gorgeous."
Kurt propped himself up on his elbows, fixing Sebastian with an unexpected, unpracticed, sultry stare.
"I want you to suck me off, Sebastian," Kurt growled, his tongue licking along his dry lips as he daydreamed briefly about kissing Sebastian's swollen lips, smiling back at him, glistening and wet, knowing exactly where they'd been.
Sebastian basked for a moment in the look of unadulterated, filthy want that surrounded Kurt like a dark aura. Sebastian had never seen it before, but he knew he'd never get tired of it. Sebastian was done teasing. Without another moment's hesitation, he took Kurt completely in his mouth until the head of his cock brushed his throat, and Kurt moaned, long and loud, unashamed of anyone hearing or knowing or complaining.
Kurt bucked up occasionally to fuck Sebastian's throat, Sebastian holding still so Kurt could have his fill.
"Oh, God, Sebastian," Kurt groaned, the phrase sounding like a curse as Kurt ground his hips up against Sebastian's mouth. "God, baby, you feel so good around me…so good…I can't stand it."
Sebastian wanted to smile. In his head he cheered, so glad he could do this for Kurt, but his own cock started to become a distraction, growing harder, aching every time Kurt groaned or bucked. He wanted to find friction against the comforter hanging off the bed, but he couldn't find an angle that suited him, and with his hands bound behind his back he couldn't take care of himself. He pulled against the tie, feeling it tighten around his wrists with every movement. He almost growled in frustration.
"Sebastian," Kurt moaned, his hips stilling, surrendering. Sebastian thought for sure Kurt was almost done. "Sebastian, I miss you."
Sebastian pulled of Kurt's length slowly, looking up at him.
"What's that, gorgeous?" Sebastian asked.
"I miss you, baby." Kurt twisted to look at his. "Come up here."
Sebastian didn't need to be asked twice. He was up on his feet and on the bed with a flash, crashing his lips into Kurt's, lying on his back, positioning his bound hands beneath the small of his back. Kurt followed Sebastian's arms with his hands, about to untie Sebastian's wrists, but Sebastian laid his body flat on them, stopping him. Kurt looked confused when he broke their kiss.
"Nope." Sebastian nipped over Kurt's lips as he spoke. "I don't get untied until you cum, gorgeous. And I want you to ride me…hard."
Kurt's mouth was on his again, smiling, laughing, thoroughly enjoying Sebastian's play at being helpless.
Kurt knew Sebastian. If Sebastian wanted to dominate him, he could do it, hands tied behind back or no.
"Did you bring any…"
"Pocket of my jeans, gorgeous."
Kurt leapt off the bed, pouncing on Sebastian's jeans immediately, rifling through the pockets. Sebastian watched, lustful eyes smiling and amused as Kurt turned the pockets inside out, cursing when he went through all of them just to realize he had been assaulting his own pants. He looked around frantically, finding Sebastian's jeans and pulling them over by the cuff. Sebastian chuckled when Kurt yipped in triumph, skipping back over with a foil packet and tiny ampule in his fist.
"Why did you even bring this with you?" Kurt said, climbing over Sebastian's body, fumbling with the foil packet.
"I was kind of hoping I could get you alone in the bathroom," Sebastian confessed. Kurt stopped and looked at him with a frown.
"What is it with everyone and fucking in the bathroom?"
Kurt's fingers fiddled with the condom, rolling it over Sebastian's cock two failed attempts later. The tiny break-away top to the ampule of lube was a little less forgiving, but eventually Kurt managed to pry it loose between his teeth, thankful that Sebastian favored a brand that was both edible and flavored.
"Kurt," Sebastian laughed at his frazzled boyfriend. "Slow down, gorgeous."
"I can't," Kurt ground out between his teeth. "I need to have you in me now!"
Sebastian's laughter stilled as he watched Kurt, overwhelmed by desire, fighting his trembling hands to claim his prize. Kurt managed it, emptying the packet of lube over Sebastian, climbing over him carefully, and sinking down around him, quicker than he usually did.
Sebastian didn't know how much stretch or burn Kurt felt. Kurt didn't even bite his lip as he moved, showed no discomfort or pain whatsoever. Sebastian noticed that every light in the room stayed switched on, usually a big issue with Kurt who still, despite all the progress he had made with issues about his body, preferred the lights off. Right now, Kurt didn't care. He rode Sebastian hard like he wanted, gripping at Sebastian's abs, digging his nails in, throwing his head back, filling the room with wanton moans. Sebastian tried hard to keep up, trying to match Kurt's bobbing body with powerful thrusts of his hips, but Kurt would have none of it. Kurt owned him, alternated between fast and slow, pinned Sebastian's hips to the mattress with a deliberate shift of his body weight.
Sebastian watched his boyfriend open up for him, become a completely sexual creature with no boundaries, no limitations. Kurt wasn't hiding his body, wasn't afraid of his own appeal – he was giving, he was taking, and Sebastian was just a toy, something to play with for his own enjoyment.
That thought alone almost did Sebastian in.
Then Kurt spoke and took Sebastian's breath away.
"I love you, Sebastian," Kurt moaned. "I…I love you so much that it used to scare me." Kurt stared deep into Sebastian's eyes. Kurt never stopped, kept pace as he moved, even sped up as he chased the orgasm he so desperately craved. "But, I'm not afraid…anymore. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
A tide washed over Sebastian. So many times he and Kurt had professed their love for each other. Sebastian felt the depth of their emotional connection every time they made love, but Sebastian thought that only he had imagined their relationships in terms of forever. Now, that he heard those words from Kurt's lips, Sebastian finally felt trapped by the belt that bound his wrists. He struggled, pulling at the ties behind his back, trying to reach Kurt, to hold him. Kurt leaned over his body quickly, reaching behind him, fumbling with the knot that got tighter every time Sebastian yanked, but by some miracle performed by Kurt's nimble fingers, the knot came free. Sebastian felt the bind slacken, his wrists come free.
He sat up, grabbed Kurt, and flipped them over. He hastily threw Kurt's legs over his shoulders and slammed into him, driving deep into his body, burying Kurt's body into the mattress. The whole bed shook, the headboard periodically slamming into the wall. Kurt braced himself with his hands splayed against the wooden frame of the bed, chanting, "Yes, yes, yes, yes…" in a voice that eventually became so overused and broken that it stopped working altogether.
Sebastian knew he had Kurt, knew where his secrets hid within his body, and knew exactly how to get to them. Kurt's eyes rolled, his body went rigid, and Sebastian knew he had reached his limit, holding on with barely his fingertips, waiting for Sebastian to tip over the edge with him.
"Cum for me, gorgeous," Sebastian moaned. "Come on. I know you're there."
"You jump…I jump…right?" Kurt managed, still struggling to bide in the face of that moment of rapture he longed for so badly.
Sebastian laughed.
"Well, then you better start jumping now, gorgeous. Jesus Christ!"
Sebastian held on for as long as he could, coming with long, deep strokes of his cock, pulsating within Kurt, who sank his teeth into Sebastian's bicep and bit hard.
"Nngh!" Sebastian groaned through clamped teeth at the sting, but he didn't want it to stop. He didn't want the feeling of this moment to ever go away. He wanted to savor it with all the other memories he held dear – some of them sex, some of them words, some of them quiet moments lying in each other's arms, but all of them feelings.
Sebastian kept moving, slowing his momentum until he heard Kurt whimper beneath him, letting him know that he had passed over the threshold of pleasure. He finally let his body give out, pulling out carefully and falling on the bed beside Kurt. Kurt's arms found Sebastian's body immediately and latched on tight, as Sebastian discreetly disposed if their mess.
"Oh, God, gorgeous," Sebastian panted, pulling Kurt on top of him, smiling at the musical sound of Kurt's carefree giggles. This was the moment Sebastian liked best – holding Kurt close, feeling him shudder, his mind lingering on all the touches, the kisses, the moans, the quiet professions of love.
Sebastian stopped. His smile faded a bit.
Kurt had said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, and in that moment, the world was perfect, but he had said it during sex – a time when euphoria can cause even rational people to make promises they never intend to keep. Sebastian didn't think Kurt was one of those people, and in his head Sebastian knew now probably wasn't the time to broach such a sensitive subject.
But he still only had old Sebastian's tact and decorum, which for some strange reason won out in the end.
"You know," Sebastian said, trying to be calm and humorous in the face of potential heart break. "Coital confessions of love and affection are not binding in the eyes of the law…so, if you, you know, want to forget…"
Kurt stared down at him as if Sebastian had just stabbed him in the heart.
"Wh-what? Are you kidding?" Kurt stammered. "I'm not that weak, Sebastian. I knew what I was saying…and I meant every word."
Sebastian's mouth dropped at Kurt's tone. Kurt sighed. He weeded his fingers behind Sebastian's head, holding him close.
"You're going to have to learn that I'm not made of glass, and like you, I don't say anything that I'm not willing to follow through on." Kurt kissed Sebastian's still startled face, softly brushing their lips together in the gentlest of caresses so he could still speak. "I love you, Sebastian," Kurt repeated, the final tremors of passion waning, his voice calm and clear. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Sebastian stuttered. He lost every romantic sentiment he had ever practiced in his head, stumbling over words and phrases, looking for the perfect ones.
In the end, he spat out something that wasn't even a thought at that moment, but the whole night it had hovered at the forefront of his mind, nagging him. It felt like lying not telling Kurt.
Here was the moment this particular truth decided to make itself known.
"Karofsky's dead," Sebastian said.
Kurt's eyes went wide.