C7: "Chapter five Untidles"

I'm warning you: I'd back away slowly from this story before you lose any more brain cells.

Chapter Five: Untitled

YOU'RE ALL JUST SAINTS! (I assume she means satanists, but hey, this is funnier) Why can't you just accept jEsuss (I'm just never going to correct Jesus so we can all have a laugh), it would make your life so much more enjoyable. You would never half to worry again(but I'm afraid he would take my spelling/grammar abilities like he clearly did to you)

Starpaw was sad.

"I...I..." she was so focused! These two cats had asked her to be their mates (you heard mates, I heard mats) and what was she supposed to do? They were both handsome and everything, but both had mats! (*gasp* they only want her as a... dun dun dun SECOND MAT?) And she loved them both! Firstar (Firstar) was so kind and he obviously liked her a lot. Gaystripe was so funny and cool.

"!" said StarPaw as she ran into the forest. ("!" she said "isn't it so cool how I can talk in punctuation?!1111!") It was too much, she couldn't choose!

She ran and ran and ran till her paws hurt. Then she realized she had crossed the border. 'Oh no' she thought, 'Shadowclan will get me'.

"What are you doing here?" said Balkstar (balkstar? no wonder Starpaw was able to beat him, he just balked away from her!) as she walked up.

"I'm sorry!" meowed Starkit (-gleam, -kit, -paw... I don't even know anymore) "I didn't mean too!"

"That's okay" said Blackstar. "No one's perfect."

"No that's not true" said Starpaw, offended. "StarClan is."(Miley Cyrus begs to differ)

"What do you mean?" yawned Blackstar.

"Well they give us all this halp and stuff" said Starpaw "without them we would be lost." (By Starpaw's logic, "Halp"ing = Perfect, Perfect = Starclan. If I give someone help, then it's me = helping. By substitution, me = Starclan! I am a supporter of this!)

"I guess that's true" Blackstar said, "Besides I didn't really mean that anyway."

"Oh really, why?" said Starpaw. "BECAUSE YOU ARE"(Wait, what? I'm so lost...)

"WHAT?" YOWLED Starpaw jumping away as Blackstar tried to nugle (LMAO) her.

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, MOLE STRAEP ME?!" (I hate it when people mole straep me! But even worse is nuggling *shivers*)

"E—" Blackstar started to explain, but Starpaw was too quick.

"No" she said "I don't need another tom after me! I got enough problems right now anyway!

"But you're perfect." said Blackstar. "You beat me in battle! You HAVE TO BE!" (Blackstar's logic: Beat Blackstar in battle = perfect)

"NO!" shitted Starpaw (this is taking a nasty turn), again running into the forest. Tears rolled down her cheeks, she was crying (CAPPPPPPPTAIIIIN OBBBBBVIOUS) .

'It's too much!' she thought.

"Starclan help me….!" (I am Starclan (remember logic) and I refuse to help Starpaw)

This gets better and better.

Reviews would be greatly appreciated!

CF