CH8: "Chapter Ate The Serimmony 1"
Just for your lolz, this chapter will include the edited version and the unedited version.
Chapter Eight the Ceremony!
STOP REVIEWING BAD, but thank you JAZZPAW for the good reviews you've been leaving. (I am not mentally equipped to imagine these "good reviews" "Jazzpaw" left on the story)
Starpaw skidded into the camp. "FIRESTAR," SHE YOWLED, "I have to tell you something!" (WHY the random CAPSlock?)
"Not now Starpaw," he said, "You've got to become a WARRIOR!" (*gets up and leaves again* SHE'S BEEN AN APPRENTICE FOR A DAY!)
"OH MY GOSH, REALLY?!" screamed Starpaw.
"YEAH," said Firestar. "You've been a warrior for only 3.14 days (very precise, Firestar!) but you are the best apprentice in the Clan. Your perfect (hang on LOGIC TIME, if Starclan = perfect, and perfect = Starpaw, Starpaw = Starclan! Very nice logic, Firestar). We need you to help defeat Blackstar and ShadowClan (Starpaw already did beat "Balkstar"... I think Firestar's getting a bit loony). And all the other Clans. They are trying to attack us we're in the middle of a war (This would have been nice to know beforehand. Also, wouldn't Firestar want his "mat" to be safe and not fight when she's only six moons old?)."
"Omigosh, WE ARE?" screamed StarPaw. She was so surprised (us too, Starpaw...us too).
"Yeah, Dustpelt died while you were away. During your walk Riverclan attacked us (WHY? THEY ARE ACROSS THE LAKE FOR STARCLAN'S SAKE)." said Sandstorm. She looked sort of sad (but only sort of, guys) she knew Firestar loved Stargleam (woah woah woah, we've got an OC Sandstorm right here). But it was okay: she knew what was best (incest is always best).
"OMG," (I think OhMyStarclan would be more fitting) said Starpaw. "Quick make me a warrior!"
"Okay," said Firestar. He walked up to Starpaw. "All cats gather 'round who are old enough to catch their own prey!"
"Today we are making a new warrior."
The Clan GASPED!
"Starpaw! Starpaw!" shouted the clan. They all knew immediately it was she whom was being made a warrior (I wonder if Whom was a mistake or not).
Starpaw was so excited! She'd never been so happy in her life (all six moons of it)!
"Starpaw….." said Firepaw (the hell?). He was smiling like she'd never seen him smile before. "Are you ready to become a warrior in the name of Starclan?"
"Yes!" she shouted.
"Okay." he said. "Then by the powers of Starclan, I gave you this name. (Firestar throws out the canonical ceremony for the perfect Stargleam). From now on, you will be known as Starpaw (...) for your pelt which shines like the stars; and your connection to StarClan. We honor your bravery and kindness."
"Starpaw! Starpaw!" shouted the clan. They (had already forgotten the hero's name? This sentence doesn't end...creepy!)
Stargleam (finally!) grinned. She was a warrior! At last!"
"Firestar," she said, coming over to him. "I want to tell you something." They looked seriously at him (who did? o.O).
"Yeah, what is it?" he said, hope shining in his eayers (I'm assuming this is "eyes" but it looks an awful lot like "ears").
'Does he know?' Stargleam thought.
"Firestar…." she breathed. She couldn't believe she was actually doing this after so long (I too dream about telling my great-grandfather I'd like to be his mate...doesn't everyone?).
"I….."
"WINDCLAN ATTACK!" shouted a voice from above the camp.
It was….
HOLYLEAF! (OH NO! THE HOLY LEAF! THIS IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM THE EVIL "HOLLY" IN THE PROPHECY!)
I worked really hard on this chapter and tried to spell good. So, please review NICE! (Ha. Ha. Ha.)
Here's xdarkrosesx's attempt at "spell good" for chapter nine, UNEDITED:
Chapter Ate The Serimmony 1
STOP REVOFIGN BAD! but than u JASZpAW for tehh godo revewis uve ben levving
StarPaw skided into de Camp. "FIRSTAR" SHE YOWLED "I ha to tel; uo somesting?"
"nut ow StarOaw" he sadi "yuve gut to become WARRIOR!'
"MOGOSH REALLY creamed StarPaw.
YEAH SAID firestar "Youv been a war for onll 3.14 dayss butt u are the best apent ice in the cAlan. Ur perfect. We ndd you to help dfeat BlackStar and ShadowclaN. And all teh other calns. Tehy are tyring 2 attack us were in the meddle of a warr. "
"omgosh WE ARE?" scremmed StarPal she sus so surpissed!
"Ya DustPelt did while U were away in your walk Rivrclan attacked us." Said SandTrom. She locked sortaf sad she New FireStart lovved Stargleam. But it wass ok she newt wht wus best.
"OMGoht" sid StarPaw. "Quickk mack me a warrror!"
"Oak" said Firestar. He wlaked up to StarPaw. "aLL Cats Gather Round Who Are Older To Cach There One Prey!"
"Tday we are making a new Warrior."
The calnn GASPED!
"SarkPaw! StarPaw!: shouted the clan. They all new infancy it was she whom was beng mad a warrior.
Starpaw was so exited! She'd never bin so hap inner life!
"StarPaw….." said FirePaw. He was simile like shed never sent him simle behfore. "Are you ready to become a Warrior in the Name of Starcaln?:"
"Yes!" she shock3d.
"oak." Eh sad. "Then by the powers of Starclan, I gave you this narme. From now on, you will be none as StarPaw for your pel which sings like the starss and ur conectin 2 StarClann. We onner you'r bravvery and" " kindness."
"SarkPaw! StarPaw!: shouted the clan. They
StarGleam girned. She wass a Warrior! At least!"
"FireScar," she said, cuming over 2 him. "I wanna tell u somesing." They locked sirously at him.
"yeah wat is it?" he sad, hop shinning in his eayres.
Dos he knew? StarGlema think.
"Firestar…." She brethed. She cullednt she was actually dong this after so lung.
"I….."
WINDCLAN ATTAK! Shioted a voise from obove the Camp.
It was….
HOLYLEAF!
I workd reall' herd on dis chapter n tired 2 spell good so plzz review NICE!
So, if you're still around, I wouldn't mind a review :)
CF